Noelle's Rock: A BWWM Holiday Romance (14 page)

I roll my eyes at him because I know he says these things to get to Beau. He has some audacity to act as arrogant as he is. His words make me angrier by the minute.

“Come on, man,” Erick says, coming to stand beside Beau. “He isn’t worth it.”

“Erick is right, Beau. We are bringing attention to ourselves. Bickering with this idiot will bring exposure to your identity. Don’t give him the power to ruin our night,” Shelby says, looking at Victor with deep resentment in her steely-blue eyes.

Beau looks up and realizes that a small crowd has gathered and is looking on our group with interest. Someone points and screams loudly in the crowd.

“I told you that is Beau Barringer! I would know the color of his eyes anywhere,” the young woman screams.

“Damn it! Beau grates out as the two young women boldly make their way over to us.

“Can I have a picture with you, Beau?” she asks in an excited voice. “I told Katelynn that it was you. She owes me twenty dollars for losing the bet,” she babbles away as she poses besides Beau and smiles brightly for her friend to snap a picture.

How rude is that? This young woman didn’t even wait for Beau to answer as she squeezes her body between us and pushes me aside.

“Sadie, it’s my turn now,” says her overly enthusiastic friend.

Her friend promptly switches places with her before plastering herself against Beau. Katelynn quickly snaps a picture or two before asking Beau for his autograph.

Victor looks at me and arches his brow before letting out a chuckle.

“Who is this guy? By the looks of the crowd gathering, you would think he is a superstar,” he says in a sarcastic tone.

Shelby didn’t give me time to reply.

“That’s exactly who he is. Beau Barringer is a super rock star, with number one hits across the charts. So as you can see, you don’t stand a chance.”

Victor takes another look at Beau as he continues to sign autographs for his fans in the crowd. Then his eyes slide back to me.

“I know you, Noelle.” He takes my elbow and pulls me aside.

I went willingly because I didn’t want to cause a scene. Shelby follows closely behind as if she is my security guard. I look back at her and assure her that I will be fine, so she walks back to Erick’s side to whisper something in his ear.

Erick looks towards Victor and me to let me know he is keeping an eye on us in case Victor tries something. He and Shelby are just alike when it comes to having my back. I forcibly pry Victor’s hand from my elbow and put a little distance between us.

“Say whatever you need to say, Victor. I don’t have time for this as it is, and for the record, you don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

“Oh, but I do,” he replies with certainty. “I know that you have never liked crowds or being the center of attention. You have always been a low-key type of person with a tendency for being shy. Your shyness is one of the endearing qualities that drew me to you. Now, tell me…how are you going to be with a rock star who will be in the limelight most of the time? He will have women throwing themselves at him right and left…not to add dropping their panties like flies. There is no way he will ever be faithful to you, Noelle,” he adds in a self-righteous tone of voice.

I look at Victor, and I feel nothing but disgust for him. Seeing him has totally ruined a perfectly pleasant night. I look over at Beau and pretty, sexy women are indeed flocking to him like flies. I can feel jealousy rise up in me. He seems to have forgotten about me as he smiles down into their pretty faces.

“See what I mean? Come with me. We can go get something warm to eat and get out of the cold,” he says in a voice that is beginning to grate on my nerves.

“Victor, how can you act all holier-than-thou by saying Beau won’t be faithful to me? Beau is not like you. Unlike you, he knows how to keep it in his pants,” I try to say in a confidant voice. Even though my jealousy is getting the best of me, I still try to hide it from Victor. I don’t want to give him any ammunition to cause trouble between Beau and me.

“How many times am I going to have to apologize for my one and only fuck up?”

“Your apologies aren’t going to cut it…not now. Maybe I could have forgiven you if you had come to me and told me about you stepping out on me. Maybe I could have even forgiven you for getting another woman pregnant. But what I can’t forgive you for is asking me to kill my child,” I say with sadness entering my heart as I think about the night I told him I was pregnant with his baby.

“Noelle, I am…”

I hold up my hand to cut him off. I shake my head at him to let him know not to say that he is sorry again. I have nothing else to say to Victor as I walk away. I can feel his eyes boring into my back. I am suddenly feeling tired. I know Victor is partly the cause of it. Talking to him has exhausted me mentally, as well as physically.

“That’s all for tonight, folks,” Beau says after taking one look at me walking towards him.

The fans weren’t pleased, but Beau made his way over to meet me before taking me in his arms. I lay my head on his strong shoulders and take in his scent. My doubts about his loyalty to me vanish for now.

Beau and I say our goodbyes to Shelby and Erick. Beau promises that we will get together again soon. I give Shelby and Erick a hug and a kiss on their cheeks before parting ways. I look over my shoulder, and Victor is still standing in the same spot I left him in. He has a look of heartbreak on his face. I don’t have time to worry about Victor’s feelings because in reality, he has brought whatever he feels on himself. I am with the man I love, and that is all that I need to worry about as I walk away hand in hand with Beau by my side.

Chapter 20

Noelle

What Do the Lonely Do on Christmas?

Victor has been blowing up my cell phone since the night I saw him at the Christmas festival. I know the only reason that Victor wants me and the baby back in his life is because he is feeling lonely since his girlfriend walked out on him.

Victor says that he knows me, but he also forgets that I know him as well. He has never been any good at coping alone. He is an attention hog, and that is one thing that I am now willing to admit that I disliked about him.

Giving attention to a significant other is fine under normal circumstances, but he used to get jealous when I was spending time with Shelby. He would even get out of sorts if I worked longer hours when I had a project deadline.

Sometimes when you step away from a situation, you can see it clearly. I am now seeing all of Victor’s true colors in all of their vividness. My cell phone begins to vibrate once again. I realize that I will eventually have to speak with Victor to see if he is still on board with signing over his parental rights.

I am feeling uneasy about him doing the right thing, especially with the way he was acting the last time I saw him. I just pray that he will have the decency to keep his promise. Beau is in the studio with his band putting the finishing touches on his new album, which will be coming out the first of next year.

He is trying to finish the project so that we can spend an uninterrupted Christmas together; he wants to take me to meet his parents on New Year’s Day. I am nervous and excited at the same time. He promises me that both of his parents and his brother will love me like he does.

He introduced me to his parents over skype once, and they both seem like nice down-to-earth people. They didn’t even show a reaction about Beau dating outside his race. His mother said I had to be a special someone if Beau chose me, because she knows her son.

My cell begins to vibrate once again. I breathe in deeply before pressing the connect button.

“Hey, Victor,” I greet him in a sullen tone of voice.

“Hi, Noelle. Do you have to sound so sad about hearing from me?” he asks.

“What do you want?”

“I need to see you. We really need to talk,” he replies.

“You are right. We really need to talk. I want to know if you are still willing to give up your paternal rights to my baby.” I get right to the point.

“I don’t want to talk about something so important over the telephone, Noelle. Where are you?” he asks.

“I’m at my apartment. Why?”

“Are you alone?”

I sigh inwardly before answering Victor’s question.

“I am alone, but what does that have to do with you answering my questions right now?”

“I want to come over to your apartment. I am not too far away now,” he admits.

“No! You can’t come here. How do you know where I moved to anyway? I never gave you my new address.”

“I googled it. The internet is a world of information. You know this already.”

I ignore Victor’s know-it-all tone of voice. I can imagine him smirking as he talks to me over the phone. I want nothing more than to wipe that smirk off his face. His tone of voice is, once again, getting on my last nerve.

“Since you are close by, you can meet me at this little café. It’s about five minutes away from my apartment building. The café is called Rico’s. Do you know where it is?” I ask him.

“Yeah, I know where it’s at. I was about to drive by it as we speak. I will get us a table and order us something to drink. Do you want anything special to eat?”

“No, but I will take a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows though. Give me about twenty minutes to get there,” I tell him without awaiting his reply before ending the call.

I look down at Beau’s shirt that I have on and my pair of fuzzy slippers. I hurry down the hall to the bathroom to take a quick shower before quickly changing into a pair of stretchy, high-wasted, dark-colored jeans; a brown, cashmere sweater; and my brown, leather boots to combat the windchill and the cold, falling rain (which I am sure will turn to snow by late evening).

Hopefully, Beau will make it in before the snow starts. He has been working later and later in the studio. This is why I feel more comfortable in my apartment instead of far out in the middle of nowhere in his big house where I am alone. I muse to myself about these things as I make my way out the door to meet with Victor.

*

By the time I walk through the doors of Rico’s, I spot Victor at a back table inside of the medium-sized café. I am surprised that it isn’t too crowded since it is the holiday season.

“Welcome to Rico’s. Will you be dining alone today?” asks the waitress, whose name tag reads Thana.

“No, I am meeting someone, and he is already here,” I point to Victor as he stands to beckon me over.

“I will be over to take your order shortly,” Thana says with a smile.

I return the waitress’s smile but inform her that my drink of choice had already been ordered.

Victor quickly pulls out a seat for me to sit and helps me slide my arms out of my coat before placing it on the back of my chair. Once I sit, he helps push my seat up closer to the table. I feel uncomfortable when he bends and sniffs my hair. I look back at him and throw him a look of disdain. He backs off with a slight smile attached to his full lips before retaking his seat across from me.

“I can’t help myself. You smell so delicious. You smell of cotton candy, the kind we used to eat when we went to the carnival last summer. You remember, I won that gigantic bear for you? Do you still have it?” he asks, trying to bring up old memories.

“I remember, and I threw the bear in the garbage along with a few other things you gave me over the years.” I am straight forward in admitting the truth.

A hint of sorrow flashes through Victor’s eyes. I don’t mean to hurt him, but I am still holding on to the effects of his ill treatment of me and my unborn baby. I am honest enough with myself to know that I am hurt, and I resent him for wanting a child by another woman but not by me. I feel warranted in having these feelings, and I don’t see myself apologizing for these feelings anytime soon.

“That is cold, Noelle. I still have the mementoes that you gave me. If you give me a chance, I want to make up for the hurt I have caused you,” he says, giving me a hopeful look.

“Tell me…if Samantha hadn’t reunited with her husband, would you be sitting here right now talking to me at this very moment?”

Victor begins to fidget in his seat. His gaze slides from looking me directly in my eye to land somewhere over my right shoulder instead.

“I would have found my way back to you eventually…I am sure of it,” he says as if he is trying to convince himself.

I know he is lying because he can’t even look me in my face when he says this to me. I remain silent until he finally decides to look me directly in my eyes again.

“You are a terrible liar. I wish you would just be honest with yourself and realize you just don’t want to be alone. I know you must see that I have moved on, and I’m not still crying my eyes out over our breakup. I admit that it hurt me like hell to walk away from you…but I got over it. And I have Beau to thank for that.”

“Don’t kid yourself, Noelle. I did some research on your Mr. Rock Star, Beau Barringer, and he is nothing but a playboy. You will be old news before New Year’s Day. I guarantee you,” he says with a harsh chuckle. “Besides, of all the women I saw him surrounded by, there was never a black woman. The closest he came to a woman of color was with some Asian woman. Look at this,” he says as he unclips his cell from his waist band. He scrolls through his cell phone, and I can see he is satisfied by the wide smile that appears on his face. “Read this article,” he hands me the phone across the table, and I am curious enough to reach for it.

The first thing I see is a picture of Beau embraced by a beautiful woman with ash-blond, feathered, shoulder-length hair. Her green eyes peer up into Beau’s face, and he looks lovingly down into hers. The article speaks of their impending engagement.

I greedily read on as my heart drops to the pit of my stomach. Why hadn’t Beau ever mentioned a Courtney Nicks to me?  My doubts and insecurities about his commitment to me creep into my heart like a thief in the night.

I try to control my emotions from getting the best of me. I am sure if I were to fall apart, it would give Victor immense satisfaction. Hurt people, hurt people. If I can be as miserable as he is, then his job is done. So, I draw strength from deep inside to quell my tumultuous emotions from getting the best of me.

After reading the article to the end, it says that Courtney and Beau had separated for some unknown reason and have been separated for almost two years, but they were reuniting, and she would be on his new album. They will be doing two love songs as a duet. The writer of the article went on to say that they are sure that America will be smiling again once the Universe brings these two perfect people back together to make the most romantic, rocker couple the world has ever seen.

I have had enough. I should have stopped reading before now, but it seems I am a glutton for punishment. I slide Victor’s cell across the table. He is sitting there with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes look deep into mine, and he is still smiling. I so want to reach over and slap that satisfied smile off of his face. But I don’t, so I formulate my words before I speak.

“You don’t even know Beau. All you know is what you read on the internet or in some sleazy tabloid,” I say in a defensive tone. “Beau is humble, and he is kind. He loves me and I love him, and there is nothing that you can say that will make me change my mind about him,” I state in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. “I don’t see color when I look at Beau, and I know he feels the same when he looks at me. We are just two people who accept each other for who we are.”

“Then you are a bigger fool than I thought. The facts are right here in black and white. Courtney Nicks is fine as hell, even though I don’t do white women, I would fuck the shit out of her. Get a load of that ass on her. She would put Kim Kardashian to shame,” he says with a cruel laugh.

I can feel myself getting angry from his harsh words. I push back my seat to stand.

“I don’t have to listen to your nonsense! You are hurting because you lost your girlfriend to her husband, and I can see that she was never really yours from the beginning. Now you tell me who the bigger fool is, Victor?” I question him angrily.

“I’m sorry that I said those things to you.” he says with a defeated sigh. “Please, sit back down. I have truly made a mess of things, haven’t I?”

I breathe in slowly and then exhale. Victor’s dark eyes plead with me to sit back down. I slowly retake my seat, but I am still simmering with anger, as well as harboring doubts about Beau’s commitment to me. Plus, Beau being around his old flame again doesn’t sit well with me. He didn’t even warn me that an ex-girlfriend will be doing studio time with him. The only people he ever mentioned were the members from his band. I silently fume at the thought of Beau keeping this from me. But I push those feelings aside because I can see that Victor’s apology is sincere.

“I remember we were friends in college before we even started to date,” Victor reminisces.

“I remember as well. Maybe we should have remained just friends then we wouldn’t be sitting here today with so much animosity between the two of us.”

Victor hangs his head in shame before looking up into my eyes once again. I can see that his remorse is real, as is his pain. My heart softens a bit for his predicament, as well as my own.

“Will you be staying a part of your little boy’s life, Victor? He is an adorable little boy, and he does look just like you,” I say, trying to push thoughts of Beau and Courtney aside.

“I most definitely will. I have made arrangements through the court to get him every weekend and every other holiday.”

“That is great. You are doing the right thing by remaining a stable force in little V.J.’s life.”

“Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? I know it’s only about you wanting me to sign away my parental rights to our baby,” he looks deeply into my eyes to gauge my reaction to his words.

“I am not going to sit up here and lie to you. I do want you to give up your rights to our baby, but that’s not the only reason that I am being nice. You made me recollect our genuine friendship from the beginning. Without you and Shelby, I don’t know what I would have done my freshman year in college. I left home feeling unwanted and unloved, but you and Shelby completed me once we bonded.”

“Do you forgive me for my foolishness, Noelle? I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I asked you to abort our child. I didn’t know how to tell you that I had fallen in love with someone else, and we already had produced a son together; he was a toddler by the time you got pregnant. That night when you first told me we were going to have a baby was the night I was going to breakup with you,” he finally admits the truth.

I remain quiet as I take Victor’s words in. I am learning that regardless of whether I was with child or not, Victor and I were over, regardless.