Nobody's Dream (50 page)

“What happened, Cassie?”

She remained silent except for her ragged breaths and hiccups. An eternity later, she answered, “Bad dream.”

He waited for her to elaborate, but she went to ground again. “I’m a good listener, if you want to talk about it.”

She shook her head. “No. Thank you. I do not wish to give those thoughts that much power over me again.”

Looked to him like they had a helluva lot of power over her now, but he wouldn’t press her. Yet.

Cassie shivered before her body grew stiff, and she tugged the towel more tightly around her. “Don’t be nice to me. I don’t deserve your kindness.”

“What are you talking about?” He stroked the side of her wet head. “You’re one of the gentlest, most caring people I’ve ever met. Why wouldn’t I want to be nice to you in return? Isn’t that the karma you spoke of last night?”

“No, I am the way I am so I can try and build up dharma.”

“What’s dharma?”

“The actions and good deeds we perform intentionally hoping it will erase some or all the bad things we have to atone for from our past. It sometimes helps erase the karma we’ve amassed. I don’t want to have to go through these karmic lessons ever again, so I must be redeemed from my past mistakes.”

Clearly this reincarnation stuff was more complicated than it seemed on the surface, but it sure sounded like bullshit to him at the moment. How could someone as sweet as Cassie have anything in her past so bad to warrant such self-punishment? Even if she had done something bad, surely all the good she’d done in this life would have negated or erased it by now.

“This is really embarrassing, Lucas, but I need to figure out how to get off your lap so you can leave. I am not comfortable being in your lap without my clothes on.”

“Does that mean you’d sit in my lap if you
had
your clothes on?”

She pushed away, holding tightly to the towel at her breasts, and met his gaze. “No, Lucas.”

He shrugged and grinned, hoping to lighten the mood. “Can’t blame a guy for asking.”

“Why would you want me in your lap? I am not a child.”

He stroked her back, his fingers making more contact with the towel than her skin now. Frustrated, he pulled her rigid body against his. “I like having you in my arms.” She stopped breathing, but he didn’t remove his arms from around her. “Breathe, Sweet Pea. I’m not going to hurt you. Just stating a fact.”

“Close your eyes, Lucas.”

Luke did as she asked and regretted feeling her hurry off his lap. “Okay, you can open them now.” She stood there with the towel wrapped around her like a suit of armor, as sexy as ever. Her sloping shoulders begged to be touched, or better yet kissed, but he’d keep that thought and his hands to himself. She’d let him hold her longer than she probably wanted to. They’d made some progress this morning.

“I am okay now, Lucas. Thank you. I apologize for worrying you. Please go back to whatever you were doing.”

“Quiet.” The command came out sounding harsher than he’d intended. “Stop apologizing for everything, Cassie. I’m just glad you’re feeling better now.” He stood and looked down at her. “It kills me to see you in pain. Whenever you’re ready to tell me what prompted all this emotion this morning, I’m here.”

She glanced down at the floor, and he knew that time wouldn’t be now.

“I’ll go fix us some breakfast.”

“Thank you.” Her whispered words lifted his spirits. Being useful made him feel good. He’d made inroads in breaking down her defenses. God, he hoped so. He tipped his hat and left her to dry off and dress.

Ain’t that a shame, too? She had a body too beautiful to hide. He wondered what it would be like if she ran around his house wearing nothing but her birthday suit.

Don’t even go there, Denton.

*     *     *

Cassie watched Lucas exit the bedroom, and soon after, her legs began to shake so badly she had to sit on the edge of the bed—which was still warm from his body. A heated flush crept up her neck and into her face. She had never been so mortified. Well, of course she had, but not recently. Lucas had seen her naked in the shower.

Yet he had not taken advantage of her the way Pedro and his accomplices in the cantina had. He had done nothing but hold and comfort her. Tears stung her eyes. Even though she was not deserving of such tenderness, why had it felt so good to be held in his arms? Just to be held, nothing lurid or disgusting like most other men would have done if they had found her in such a vulnerable state.

When certain she could support her body on steady legs again, she stood and went into the bathroom to comb out the tangled mess that was her hair. Soon after, she was dressed and standing with her hand on the doorknob, but could not bring herself to open the bedroom door and face Lucas again after her shower episode.

She rested her forehead against the door. The sound of water running in the kitchen was followed by that of a spoon stirring a pot. No reprieve. He was still in the house.

Goddess, give me strength.

She breathed deeply and straightened her shoulders and back before turning the knob. Forcing a fake smile, she hoped she exuded the confidence she did not feel.

“Hope you’re hungry.” He smiled at her and went back to stirring what was in the pot. “Since you don’t eat meat, I figured oatmeal, cinnamon apples, and toast from the loaf of bread you baked last night might be just the thing.” He nodded in the direction of the table. “Have a seat.”

Everything smelled great. That he would go to so much trouble just to feed her warmed something in her soul. “Can I help with something?”

“Nope. Everything’s under control.”

Perhaps she could avoid having to be so close to him. “I probably should go check on the girls.”

“No need. Took care of them while I was out there with the horses this morning before I came in the house to…”

To find you naked and catatonic in the shower.

He was too much a gentleman to finish the sentence, but merely went back to stirring the pot.

“If you really want to help, why don’t you grab the dish in the oven I’ve been keeping warm?”

She picked up the potholders and did as instructed while he poured two mugs of black coffee. The smell of whatever was in the casserole dish made her a little queasy, but she could not see what was under the foil. She took it to the table and went back to the kitchen to see what else she could carry. Soon the table was laden with the feast Lucas had prepared.

“Thank you so much for going to so much trouble. Tomorrow I promise to take care of making breakfast so you can eat promptly after you come in from the barn.” Cassie was taken aback a moment at how domestic that sounded. Time to change the subject. “How were my babies?”

“Eager to explore. I put them out in the small pasture this morning.”

Although closed in, they would have more room to explore here than at her cabin because she had had to keep them tethered so they would not stray. At Luke’s, they could meander around an acre of grassland and graze to their heart’s content.

Would they be happy to return home after living in alpacan heaven here?

“Let’s dig in. After breakfast, we can check on them if you’d like.”

Luke passed her a bowl of oatmeal with a dollop of brown sugar dissolving on top and the plate of buttered toast. Good thing she ate milk products, but she figured animals had not been slaughtered to provide those. When he uncovered the foil from the dish she carried in from the kitchen, though, her stomach lurched.

“What’s wrong? You feeling bad again?”

“No. But I think what I already have here will fill me up.” She watched him fill half his plate with the egg-casserole mixture, oblivious to her look of disgust at all the unborn chicks that had given their lives for his breakfast. Cassie managed to eat her own breakfast and keep it down, despite the knots in her stomach.

Focus on something else
. “These apples are delicious. I love the cinnamon flavor, but how did you make them red?”

“My mom’s trick. Instead of sugar or cinnamon, she dumps half a bag of Red Hotz candies into the pot.”

“She must be a great cook.”

“The best. I just picked up a few of her tricks, but wait till she comes up for her visit. You’ll think you died and went to heaven.”

Cassie did not expect to be staying here beyond a few days, perhaps a week at most. Surely she could return to her mountain by then. She supposed she could come back for a visit to meet the woman Lucas spoke so highly of. She had done a wonderful job at raising her son, for sure.

“Any news about the fire?” Luke became intently interested in the eggs on his plate. He knew something. Cassie’s anxiety rose. “Tell me.”

He met her gaze, and the sorrow in his eyes slammed against her body like a fist. His words came as if through a tunnel with running water distorting the sound.

“Sorry, Cassie. Total loss. Everything’s pretty much gone.”

When Lucas reached out to squeeze her hand, she pulled away and stood abruptly, letting the chair tumble backward. She needed Graciela and the other alpacas.

“Thanks for breakfast.” Cassie ran from the house and across the yard to the barn. Once inside, she hurried to the stall before remembering Lucas had turned them out to pasture. Which pasture?

Goddess, what would she do with them now? They had no home either.

Total loss. Everything’s gone.

Cassie ran outside again and spotted Graciela near the fence wondering what was wrong with her mistress. She climbed over the fence and buried her face in the alpaca’s neck. “What are we going to do? We have nowhere to live.”

“You’ll stay here as long as you need to.”

Oh, Lucas
. She could not turn to face him. “I cannot impose on you forever.” Her mountain sanctuary had been destroyed. Nowhere was safe now.

She had no home.

“You’re my wife. This is your home, too.”

His strong hand stroked her back trapping her between Lucas’s body and Graciela’s. Every instinct told her to run—before he stole her heart. Why did he have to be so kind to her? Nudging Graciela forward, she was able to put some space between them and distanced herself even more by coming around Graciela’s head to her other side before turning to face Lucas.

“I do not think that would be wise.” The hurt expression in his eyes tore at her emotions. “You did not agree to have me live with you when you married me.”

“That’s because I knew how much you loved your place on the mountain. But I’ll cherish and protect you until the day I die, whether together or apart. I meant what I said in my vows, Cassie.”

“
Gracias
,” she whispered. She had no choice but to stay. She had her alpacas to think about. What better place for them than Lucas’s ranch?

He smiled. “This ranch is a refuge for my horses, but stopped being one for me when I had to leave you the day we married. I like having you around, baby girl. I’m not as much of a loner as I thought I was, and if the tables were turned, I hope you’d open your home and heart to me, too.”

Cassie could not think. Between the nightmare and the destruction of her safe place, she struggled to keep from curling into a ball and zoning out again.

“It’s no burden having you here.” He added, only somewhat seriously, “But I can find chores for you to earn your keep if you’d like.”

She gazed at him and did not detect any lecherous innuendo in his tone or on his face. “Of course. Just tell me what I can do to help.”

“Follow me.”

Luke walked over to the gate and unlatched it. She trailed behind him, preceding him through it, and waited for him to relatch it before they headed back to the barn. He walked down the aisle between the stalls toward the open doors at the end. The light grew brighter as they neared the opening. She thought he might stop to greet some of the horses, but he seemed to be a man on a mission. Just before he left the barn, he picked up a football from a bin near the opening.

He wanted her to play American football with him? She did not know anything about the game. Football in her country was played with a round white ball. He placed the ball on his hip and held it in place with his right wrist. She found herself watching the sway of his butt encased in the tight jeans as he walked before averting her eyes to the ground instead. Her cheeks grew warm.

He led her to the corral and stopped, staring ahead. She peeked around him. A lone horse stood across the space, trying to appear inconspicuous. When Lucas opened the gate and walked through, Cassie followed. The brown-and-white horse’s ears went back as her nostrils flared. She pawed the earth and bared her teeth at them. Anger? Fear?

Emotions poured from the animal, slamming into Cassie’s psyche like a freight train. She reached out to steady herself on the open gate. Of all the horses she had met here, this one was by far the most wounded. Her very spirit had been crushed. After taking several deep breaths, Cassie closed and locked the gate behind her and pivoted in time to watch Lucas toss the football to the horse, careful not to hit her with it. The ball rolled close to the mare. Cassie sensed a lifting of the fear she felt a moment ago at the presence of a stranger.

O’Keeffe kicked out with her front hoof, and the ball tumbled back to Luke, who returned it. The mood of the horse had lifted.

“She likes playing with you.”

Luke turned to her and grinned. “Thank God. I was never certain if she enjoyed it or just tolerated me.”

“No. She was wary at first—possibly more because she does not know me—then she brightened up as soon as you tossed her the ball the first time.”

Lucas’s body relaxed. “Thanks. You’re hired.”

“Hired?”

“Well, in exchange for room and board, if you insist on earning your keep, this is what I need your help with. I can meet the needs of my horses, make sure they’re safe and cared for, even train them to a new purpose, but I can’t communicate with them the way you can.” He nodded toward this horse again. “O’Keeffe here has the shadiest past. I don’t know what happened to her and am afraid I’ve muddled through for months now trying to find the right way to reach her. I just discovered by accident that she likes to play football.”