Nobody's Dream (35 page)

K
arla felt another wave of dizziness as she placed Paxton next to Kate after nursing him. She gripped the sides of the half-moon baby bed Luke had delivered yesterday. Soon, the room stopped spinning, but she’d mention it to Mom or Adam when they brought her lunch upstairs. Perhaps she wasn’t eating enough to keep up with the demands of feeding three babies. Between nursing these two and expressing milk for Rori and some to freeze, she probably needed to eat more. Already, she had to supplement with formula sometimes when she couldn’t keep up with those demanding little mouths.

She stroked Paxton’s hair as he slept beside Kate. Coal black like her brother’s.

“Oh, Ian, I wish you could see your namesake.”

Maybe he could, from the other side.
Cassie says our loved ones never really leave us. We just can’t see them anymore.

She’d never even felt his presence since he died. Maybe she just wasn’t reading the signs. So much had happened since he was killed. Just in case he was listening, she’d continue to talk to him as if he were here.

With both babies sleeping, now would be a good time to catch one of those catnaps Doctor Palmer insisted she take. She’d never been so exhausted in her life as she had been since the arrival of these babies.

Tonight, the family planned to gather for dinner to celebrate Adam’s fifty-first birthday. Of course, Adam hadn’t wanted anyone making a big fuss over him turning a year older two days ago, so they had kept it small. Mom had ordered the cake and bought ice cream for after dinner. Angie was preparing another wonderful meal.

Karla had two gifts tucked away in her dresser drawers. She had insisted on being the one to unpack the bedroom boxes last week to make sure Adam didn’t find her hiding places.

One of the gifts she could present to him after dinner tonight with the family gathered around. It was very much a family friendly gift with lots of meaning. She wished his mother could be here, but Patrick promised to fly her down for the baby shower next week. The early arrival of the triplets had upset a lot of people’s plans.

However, the other gift was for them to share in a private moment. She giggled. Good thing she’d thought to have the gifts finished early. Luke had been a willing accomplice putting the finishing touches on the private present. He had been at the house on move-in day looking into what it would take to make a soundproof studio for Karla to record her music. Adam had insisted there be a place for that in the new house, not that she was going to have time to sing much more than lullabies in the coming months.

Wanting to check to make sure the gifts were still tucked away in the back of the dresser drawers, Karla pivoted and started to walk around the king-sized bed when something warm ran down her legs. Glancing down, she saw blood pouring from her body. She reached for the bedpost when her abdomen seized up with a sharp cramp.

No! This couldn’t be happening!

Her knees buckled, and she crashed down onto them, jarring her insides with a sudden jolt of searing pain. Tears burned her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her belly.

“Adam, help me!” Was the baby monitor on in the dining room downstairs where he and Mom were folding laundry? He might have turned it off, knowing she was with the babies. Her head grew light as black spots danced before her eyes. Losing her balance, she pitched forward.

“Someone hurry! Something’s wrong!”

Karla’s head hit the floor seconds before her world went black.

*     *     *

Adam had no clue how two tiny little human beings could generate so much laundry. Of course, they’d have more clothes to go through after the baby shower the girls had planned for next week. The babies would be nearly two weeks old by then. In some ways, it seemed like they’d been here forever; in others, he could see the time passing by too quickly.

He couldn’t blame the shortage of clothing on having triplets instead of twins though, because Rori was still in the NICU at the hospital. She wouldn’t be released for at least three weeks. But she’d gained an ounce since her birth. Maybe she’d reach the five-pound mark before then. Not wanting to wait that long and disrupt everyone’s plans, Karla insisted they go with the original date for the shower.

In the meantime, everyone was pitching in to make sure the babies had what they needed. Cassie had run to the store a few minutes ago to stock up on more disposable preemie diapers. The babies went through those like wildfire, too.

After Karla’s nap and another feeding for Kate and Paxton, he’d take her to the hospital to see Rori. She took to being a mother like a duck to water. He just wished he’d been doing as well on the fatherhood front.

He folded a Kelly-green undershirt. Karla didn’t want them dressed in anything too pale. At least she was out of her own black phase. He preferred to see her in red. “Babies sure go through clothes fast, Jenny.”

His mother-in-law gave a laugh. “I think their mommy is enjoying the novelty of dressing and undressing them, too. She did that with her stuffed kitties, too, when she was little. This phase will wear off quickly when she has to take up the laundry duties herself.”

Adam didn’t want Karla doing anything but taking care of the babies. Watching her feeding them turned his insides to jelly every time. When Jenny returned home to Chicago next week, he’d take on the household chores. Cassie needed to prepare for a gallery showing later this month. Surely, he could handle laundry. Angelina promised to keep them well fed. And when Savannah wasn’t busy with Marisol, she’d been a great help.

With Karla focusing solely on the babies, he’d be off the hook for having to hold them. The little things scared him to death. He’d yet to pick one of them up for fear of hurting or dropping them. He had rocked Paxton and Kate once, but only after Karla put them—one at a time—in his arms after he was already seated. Scared the piss out of him until she took them back.

Karla wanted him to man up, but what if something went wrong on his watch? Better safe than sorry.

The baby books sure made it all sound less complicated—no, make that less terrifying.

“Oh, Ian. I wish you could see your namesake.”

The words coming through the baby monitor jarred Adam from his thoughts. He’d forgotten the thing was on. Jenny’s hands stilled as she folded another tiny gown.

Aw, damn.

“Sorry, Jenny.” He reached out and turned off the monitor, not sure what else Karla might say to her dead brother thinking she was having a private moment with two of their babies.

“I feel the same way she does.” She met his gaze. “It means so much to Carl and me that you would name your son after the one we lost.”

Adam gave up trying to figure out how to fold the fitted crib sheet. He stood and walked around the dining room table to where Jenny sat and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Ian topped our boy-names lists even before we knew we were having multiples. Good thing we didn’t have three girls, though.”

Jenny chuckled, which made Adam feel a little better. She focused again on folding the nightgown. “He’d have made a fantastic uncle.”

Adam sat down next to her and reached for a wad of baby clothes from the basket. “No doubt. We’ll make sure Paxton and the girls grow up knowing who their uncle was, especially that he was a brave American soldier who fought hard and proud for his country.”

“I hope your Ian Paxton isn’t the daredevil mine was. He always took so many risks.” She shook her head.

Riding his motorcycle on rain-slick roads had led to Ian’s death. Adam didn’t want to think about all the near misses he’d had in his own life. Boys were natural daredevils. Would he want to curb Ian’s natural exuberance and kill his spirit?

No, but I don’t want him getting killed either.

Good thing he had two daughters. That should be easier—well, except for having to crush the balls of any teenage boy who came within a football field of one of them.

Fatherhood was a lifelong commitment. He hadn’t yet grown used to the idea that he not only had a baby son but two daughters now. They’d be a part of his life for as long as he had left on this earth.

How many years did he even have left? Thirty, if he was lucky. Nothing scared Adam more than the thought of something bad happening to one of his kids—or to Karla. But what if he wasn’t around for them when they needed him? Fuck, he’d just turned fifty-one.

Fucking fate had better not take anything else he loved from him.

Adam and Jenny worked on in silence a few more minutes. Adam’s hand went to the back of his neck where he rubbed his scar. He froze. He hadn’t done that in a long time. Maybe it was just all this talk of Ian Paxton and thoughts about his own kids growing up.

He thought he heard something fall upstairs. “Did you hear that?”

“What?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Karla needs something.” Adam reached for the monitor switch and turned it on again. Silence. Too bad they didn’t have a two-way radio. Maybe he’d see if Grant could set up—

“Someone hurry! Something’s wrong!”

Adam dropped the baby clothes and leapt from the chair running into the hallway. The pounding heartbeat in his ears drowned out the sound of his feet on the steps. Had one of the babies stopped breathing?

Not again. Please, God, you can’t take another one of my babies.

No sound came from the bedroom when he entered and scanned the room. No crying babies, no Karla.

“Kitten, where are you?”

He checked the bathroom. Empty. The whimper of one of the babies sent him around the bed toward the sound only to find Karla lying on her side in a pool of blood.

“Jenny! Call 911! Karla’s unconscious! And bleeding!”

He knelt beside her, afraid to touch or move her. Jenny was the nurse. She’d know what to do. “Kitten, can you hear me?”

So pale. How long had she been lying here? She’d called out no more than a couple minutes ago, so she must have been conscious then.

So much fucking blood.

A strobe-light effect superimposed the scene with the one where his father had been shot, but no way could anyone have shot her. The discharge nurse had warned to watch for excessive bleeding, more than a pad every so many hours. Hell, this went well beyond a pad. Adam pulled the bedspread off the bed and covered her.

In combat, they would have used compression against the wound. Towels.

“Oh, my God! Karla!” Jenny soon took charge, thank God, and knelt on the other side of Karla, tilting her head to clear an airway. Why hadn’t he done that? Hell, he couldn’t think straight. Jenny took the pulse at Karla’s carotid artery.

“Adam, I need some towels. All the clean ones you have.”

He’d forgotten them already. Glad to have orders to follow, he stood and ran to the bathroom, pulling four towels from the closet. He also grabbed a box of Karla’s feminine pads from under the sink, in case they might help, and brought everything back to Jenny.

“Help me turn her.”

She had removed the comforter to examine Karla. Adam and Jenny gently laid her on her back, and the pool of blood continued to spread.

Stop the bleeding
.

He froze once more.

Don’t take her. The babies and I need her. Hell, take me. They need her more than me.

His bargaining with God was futile, but he’d gladly have taken a bullet to change places with her. He couldn’t lose her.

“Hold her legs open for me.”

Adam did as Jenny told him, Karla’s legs limp in his hands. He tried not to look at all the blood smeared on the insides of her thighs. Instead, he focused on her face—so pale and still. Jenny worked efficiently to stanch the flow of any more blood. How could there be any more?

What if she bled out?

“If her uterus clamps down, it might stem the flow.” Jenny pressed against the top of Karla’s abdomen and massaged the area.

Where’s the fucking ambulance?

Seconds later, the sound of sirens far in the distance gave him hope that they’d be here soon with all the modern equipment necessary to keep his wife alive.

“Hang on, Kitten. You’re going to be fine.”

You have to be. I can’t go on without you.

He stroked her hair, but received no response.

Don’t you dare die on me, Karla.

Yeah, make this about you, asshole.

One of the babies went from sound asleep to outright squalling. Did she sense the tension in the room? Adam glanced at Jenny, but she had her hands full taking care of Karla. He stood and walked over to the bassinet and jiggled it a little, hoping to calm down the baby. Hunter-green blanket—Kate.

“Shhh. You’re okay. Mommy’s…”

What?
Going to be here in a minute? No.

If anything happened to Karla, what would he do with three motherless babies?

Please, Kitten, don’t leave us. Don’t leave me.

At the moment, he was the only one who could comfort the crying baby.
Don’t let me fuck this up.
He reached down and lifted the crying baby into the crook of his arm. He’d watched Karla do it a hundred times. Was he doing it right?

“That’s enough.”

His curt words only made Kate cry louder.

Okay, don’t go Master Sergeant on her.

Well, how the fuck else was he supposed to act? He knew more about being a Master Sergeant than being Dad to a newborn. He glanced down at Karla again, feeling as though a tank had landed on his chest. He’d never been more terrified of anything in his life than losing her. He hadn’t even been this scared when he lost Joni to cancer.

Don’t leave us, Kitten. We all need you so much.

He rocked back and forth, finally holding Kate upright against his chest at which point she stopped crying. He pulled his cell phone from his shirt pocket and with the thumb of his free hand punched in Marc’s number. No answer. He tried Damián’s cell next, and Savannah answered. He must be nearby.

“Savannah, I need you or Damián to come to the house quick. Something’s happened to Karla. We’re waiting on the ambulance. I need someone to help with the babies.”