Authors: Cara Dee
That was…strange. I wasn't sure a kiss a few seconds long was enough to show off any skills, but all right.
"You'd know better than her." I shrugged and poured my coffee. "Here." I sat down and slid him the pot.
"I would?" Julian did that thing where he pretended to be too busy to look me in the eye. "I thought maybe it was serious."
He was fucking cute. Was he digging?
"Nope." I leaned back and sipped my coffee, and I had to admit I enjoyed this. It was dawning on me that I was fucked where Julian was concerned. I wanted him bad—which was a goddamn kick in the head—and that was my hell to deal with. My complicated mess. But that didn't mean I couldn’t draw some pleasure from Julian's old infatuation with me.
I assumed most of it had faded, with maybe enough attachment lingering not to be thrilled to see me with someone else.
That was how crushes worked, in my experience. From the Playboy models I'd gawked at as a teenager to the one-nighters I'd hooked up with all my life. I could be irrationally possessive at the oddest times if I were interested enough, though I let go quickly.
Usually.
Julian was an exception. It'd been a fucking year.
"We went out on one date. That’s it." I opened a container with a mixture of pineapple, strawberries, blueberries, and grapes. "She's not my type, I guess."
"Oh." Julian bobbed his head and nibbled on a bagel. "So anyway…" He cleared his throat. "What's the plan for today?"
I smirked at how fast he moved on, and how he'd brightened noticeably.
"Pool party and barbecue with our closest," I revealed. "Danny and Zane are hosting it at their beach house, so don't forget sunscreen."
Julian's eyes lit up, so I reckoned he approved.
*
Julian came to life the minute we stepped foot inside the beach house. We'd kept it small, though a couple additions had shown up after Sophie and I had seen Julian get along great with Lucia and Shawn from the set. Along with Tennyson, Sophie, Asher, Brooklyn, Daniel, and Zane, it was shaping up to be one hell of a day.
Tennyson and I were the grill masters while Sophie and Brooklyn flitted back and forth to fill the table on the terrace with condiments, salads, bread, drinks, and God knew what else.
Music poured out from the living room, the sun was dipping low, Julian and Zane were embarrassing Shawn and Asher at volleyball in the pool, and the last time I saw Danny and Lucia, they were discussing politics.
Old Noah would've been appreciating the sight of so many beautiful women in bikinis or other beachwear. Married and obsessed with their husbands or not, it was okay to look. Yet, every fucking five minutes, it was Julian my eyes sought out.
The kid who'd acted like an outta-breath smoker after a ten-minute jog was a lot more athletic these days, and it showed. He didn't run with me in the mornings all that often, but he liked going swimming. He certainly had the body for it.
"It's becoming glaringly obvious, my friend." Tennyson flipped a couple steaks and eyed me over the frames of his shades. I frowned at him, to which he chuckled and nodded at Julian. "You stare at him like I stare at Sophie."
I cursed and chugged my beer.
"You still believe it's wrong?" He turned to me, brow furrowed. "Initially, I understood your panic—somewhat, anyway. But you're way past that, Noah. If it had been an unhealthy attachment founded on the grief you share, it would've faded by now."
My jaw ticked, and I wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up. But I couldn’t. He was the one person I'd told. He didn't know Julian and I had actually been intimate, but he knew more than Dr. Kendall. He knew my personal thoughts, and it was a heavy-as-fuck issue to carry.
No one was nearby, so against my better judgment, I opened up a bit.
"It's my sister." I needed something to do, so I took over for Tennyson and started putting the hot dogs and my tofu burgers on the grill. "Imagine if she knew? Hell, all of them. If they were alive and found out… James's folks? It'd kill them."
It made me wanna throw up.
"I won't sugarcoat anything," he replied, lifting a brow. "It probably would have gotten ugly. But your family, Noah—you were so close. Eventually, they would've accepted it. I firmly believe that. Same goes for Julian's grandparents."
I wasn't so sure.
I couldn’t shake the feeling of it being like pissing on their graves.
I'm sorry I lost y'all, but don't worry, Julian keeps me warm at night.
"Listen." Tennyson clasped my shoulder. "I'm the last person to push. It took Sophie and me three years to realize our fling was a lot more than that. I know what it's like not to be ready."
True. They'd had an on-set romance years ago, but with their differences—their ages being one—they'd walked away from each other, both depressed as fuck and hiding it poorly. Only, Sophie had ended up pregnant. They'd raised Kayden together from day one, but as single parents. Still…they'd practically been a couple, anyway. Nobody could come between them, even when they were too blind to see it themselves.
We'd had a bet going on to see when they'd finally get it.
"Picture yourself in my shoes," I told him.
"I have, actually." He pointed toward where Sophie was giggling about something with Brooklyn and Lucia by the table. "And I wouldn’t let anyone come between us. She and our children are everything to me."
Everything
.
"Just run me the fuck over already." I needed more beer.
*
I lost count of the times we toasted to Julian. The alcohol made us merrier and forgetful, and after a while, he stopped squirming at the attention. He even butted in with his own digs when Tennyson and I were grilling Asher about the cardio he loved to brag about.
This from the only dude who wore a shirt to hide his love for beer and pizza.
Brooklyn threw her head back and laughed but was quick to kiss her hubby to show solidarity.
"I keep telling you to come with me and Sophie to RJ's, little brother," Tennyson told Asher. "Or go with Noah on his runs. Though, I hear he's a sadistic trainer."
I winked and tipped my beer bottle at Asher.
"What's RJ's?" Julian asked.
"An indoor climbing place," Sophie supplied, giggling. "Funnily enough, it used to be their thing—as brothers. But at some point, Ash stopped going."
"To hell with all of you," Asher said. "I do cardio."
"Once a month," Brooklyn mouthed behind her hand.
"And work is busy," Ash went on. "Hundreds of scripts go through my office every week. It's not easy being a producer."
"Yeah, I bet you cry in your Lexus all the way home to your mansion, beautiful wife, and two daughters every day," Daniel deadpanned.
"Maybe that’s it. Do you turn to food for comfort?" Tennyson asked with a smirk. "The pizza cannot hug you back."
That one cracked me up, but the women decided we'd been mean long enough now.
"I could use some cake," Asher grumbled.
I sat back and pinched my lips together, and it looked like Tennyson and Daniel were struggling to hold back their mirth, too. But we let it go eventually, and I was the next one to be roasted.
Champagne and cake came out, and Sophie placed the gigantic, chocolaty goodness at the head of the table where Julian sat. I was next to him, and I had to say the cake made my dormant sweet tooth ache. I didn't indulge very often 'cause, frankly, I didn't want to, but damn.
Meanwhile, Sophie, Lucia, and Brooklyn imitated me and how I—apparently—came off as a director. Julian had a fucking
blast
at that. He could barely stop laughing to blow out the candles after Brooklyn delivered her impersonation.
Leaning close, I patted his thigh under the table. "Easy there, kid. Don't forget to breathe."
"I'm trying," he wheezed out.
God, he was fucking beautiful. All carefree and enjoying himself.
His fingers brushed over my hand on his leg, and I had the strongest urge to just hold his hand.
"He's the worst with the lighting," Sophie said. "Admit it, Collins. You're a lighting
snob
." I shrugged and reluctantly gave her my attention, and she cleared her throat and did her best to pull off a gruff, manly voice. "The fuck you doin'? I told you I want floodlight! More floodlight! No, scratch that. Give me a forty-degree Rembrandt and Van fuckin' Gogh and-and-and put a meat ax on that goddamn lens!"
While the ladies guffawed, those of us who actually worked with lighting and directing—and generally knew what we were talking about—shook our heads.
"You just spoke complete gibberish, princess," Tennyson chuckled. "There are no degrees to a Rembrandt."
Sophie waved a hand.
"What's Van Gogh lighting?" I asked.
"Beats me." Shawn grinned and shoveled some cake into his mouth. "Either way, I think Noah's the most easygoing director I've worked with."
"Pardon me?" Tennyson cocked a brow. "You've worked with me, you know."
Most of us laughed, and Shawn smirked and said, "I remember."
Sophie reached over the table and pinched Tennyson's cheek. "God knows I love you, but laid-back you are
not
. On set, anyway."
"Or very humble," Asher huffed.
Tennyson smiled sarcastically. "I see, so it's my turn now?"
"A director shouldn’t be humble while the camera's on," I said.
Tennyson and I bumped fists.
The mockery continued, though an unspoken rule prevented us from grilling the ladies. We did that when we were alone, 'cause…we weren't stupid.
Of course, riling each other up brought out our competitive streaks, and once we'd let the food settle a while, some of us headed to the pool. We had a score to settle, so Brooklyn picked a game for us.
She placed a towel on each short-end of the pool and picked up the volleyball. It was me, Tennyson, and Daniel against Julian, Sophie, and Zane.
Or… "The old against the young and gorgeous," Brooklyn said with a wink.
Considering Brooklyn was my age, we men only exchanged a look.
"Shut the fuck up," Brooklyn snapped.
I held up my palms.
"We didn't say anything," Tennyson said.
"You were thinking it," she retorted. She fluffed her hair and continued. "Anyway, pretend the towels are baskets. All you gotta do is touch your team's towel with the ball."
All right.
"Take it easy, love," Zane cautioned Daniel. "I don't want you to pull anything."
"Oooh, shots fired." I dove into the water, the rest following, and it was easy to see which tactics most were going with.
Sophie adjusted her bikini in a way that had Tennyson fucked in the head, so I snapped my fingers in front of his face.
"Seriously?" I shook my head at him.
Zane was doing something similar, showing off his modeling skills, abs, and that ridiculous pose when someone came up from the water and pushed back their hair.
Danny, Danny, Danny.
Turning to Julian, I…fuck. Jesus fuck, game time, no losing focus. I refused to be
that
guy. But yeah, he looked good. He looked ready to fight dirty. There was a gleam in his eyes, which I noticed after averting my gaze from his tight swimmer's body, ink, and piercing.
Head in the game
.
I flashed him a cocky grin and folded my arms over my chest, making sure to flex my biceps. "You know you can't win, right?"
He swallowed and faltered for a second, then scowled.
"Pshhh! Don't listen to your uncle," Sophie told him. I made a face that Tennyson found funny. Julian merely chuckled. "I know his weaknesses," she added, and then she whispered something in his ear. Except, we all heard it. Mocking vegetarianism wouldn’t work at all. I was far from militant.
I rolled my eyes. "Brook, we gonna play or what?"
It took the youngsters some time to dick around and stall, but eventually Brooklyn threw the ball toward the middle of the pool, and Tennyson caught it.
It was completely dark at this point, and aside from lanterns illuminating the terrace, there wasn't much helping us.
"You can do some cardio while we set the record straight, Asher," Daniel said.
Ash flipped us off from the terrace, and the other spectators made bets.
As Sophie went for Tennyson, Zane tried to cover Daniel, and I dove underwater and swam between Julian and Sophie. I resurfaced behind their pathetic defense line, and Tennyson passed me the ball.
What I hadn't considered were Julian's abilities in the water. He turned out to be fast as fuck, and he reached me just as I slammed the ball onto the towel.
"Goddammit." Sophie glared as she clung on Tennyson's back. "This isn't going to work."
"No shit," I drawled. I eyed Julian. I'd definitely have to watch him.
"Well, fuck the rules, then." Brooklyn removed the flimsy wrap around her hips and pulled back her hair in a high bun. "Come on, Lucia. Shawn, you too. We're with Sophie and the boys."