No Second Chances (19 page)

Chapter Thirty-four

Gabi – Present day

A couple of
days after bumping into Ryan again, I was surprised to get a call from Jasmine. I’d not heard from either of my old friends since they’d come to the house, and Jas asked if I’d like to meet them for lunch in a little bistro in town. My first instinct was to say no, but Cole was working, and I didn’t have anywhere else to be. I needed to get out with other people more. This bubble Cole and I had created was bliss, but it wasn’t realistic. We couldn’t live like this forever.

I was feeling guilty about not telling Cole I’d bumped into Ryan again, but I didn’t want Cole trying to make contact with his old band-mate. The last thing I wanted was the two of them becoming friends again. Cole was far better off without the likes of Ryan in his life.

Now I was on my way downtown, to meet my two ex-best friends.

I arrived at the bistro feeling nervous. It was silly to be anxious around women I’d known for fifteen years, but they still didn’t know about Cole, and I hadn’t yet decided if I would tell them. I guessed I worried they would tell me I was making a huge mistake. I wouldn’t blame them if they did. They’d witnessed the fallout when we’d been teenagers—though Taylor couldn’t say much about that—but I knew their disapproval may also be because Cole was essentially an ex-con. They’d give voice to all the worries that had been flitting around my head, and I really didn’t want to hear them. The best thing to do was simply keep my mouth shut, but he filled my thoughts constantly, his name ready to slip off my tongue at any moment.

Jasmine and Taylor were already sitting at a table near the back of the restaurant. The girl working as hostess showed me over, and both women stood to kiss my cheek as I arrived at the table.

“Wow, you’re looking amazing,” said Jasmine. “Seriously. Your skin is glowing.”

I blushed. “Thanks.”

Taylor nodded. “You look like you’ve lost a ton of weight as well. What’s your secret?”

Mind-blowing sex every night, sometimes twice a night,
I wanted to say, but couldn’t.

“Oh, I’ve been walking a lot,” I said instead. “I’m up to about four miles a day.”

Jasmine smiled at me encouragingly. “That’s great. It’s really working for you.”

I ducked my head into the menu so they wouldn’t read the secret on my face. “Have you guys ordered yet?”

Taylor shook her head. “We were waiting for you, but I recommend the chicken Caesar salad. It’s delicious.”

“Sounds good.”

The waitress came over and took our orders. We went for a bottle of sauvignon blanc to accompany our meals. I was starting to relax.

“So what have you two been up to since I last saw you?” I asked, wanting to divert attention away from myself.

Jasmine shrugged. “Absolutely nothing. Work, sleep, repeat. My life is boring as hell.”

Taylor hunched up her shoulders and leaned over the table. “Well, I’ve got some gossip,” she said, all conspiratorial. “You’ll never guess who I spent the evening with the other night.”

“Who?” Jasmine asked, slipping into her co-conspirator role easily.

“Only a certain Cole Devonport.”

If she’d punched me in the stomach, I wouldn’t have felt more winded. My breath tightened in my chest, and a sickening dread clutched my heart.

Jasmine glanced at me, suddenly gone from playful to awkward. “Taylor …” she said, her tone warning.

Taylor, clearly as self-centered now as she’d always been, fluttered her eyelashes and gave a shrug. “Oh, sorry, Gabi. You don’t mind, do you? I mean, it’s been over ten years now since you two were a thing.”

The world spun around me, and I opened my mouth to speak, but no words would come out. Seemingly oblivious to my discomfort, she continued with her story. “So, it was the other week when I went out with Poppy to meet that guy she’d been talking to online. She didn’t want to go alone, understandably, but he didn’t show up and she hooked up with someone else anyway …”

Taylor babbled away, while I tried not to throw up.

“Anyway,” she continued, “Cole was at the bar and recognized me right away and offered to buy me a drink. Let’s just say, one drink led to another, and the next thing I know, we’re making out like a couple of kids in the front of my car.” She looked to me and winked, “I’ve got say, Gabi, I can see what got you all hot and bothered about him all those years ago. He’s not exactly small below the waistline.” She giggled.

I couldn’t hear any more. I stood up, awkwardly, my chair falling back. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

The room was closing in, blood rushing through my ears.

I heard Jasmine say, “Jesus, Taylor,” as I staggered from the restaurant, and Taylor’s not so innocent reply of, “What did I do?”

I left the restaurant, but Jasmine chased after me. “Hey, Gabi, wait a minute.”

“I’m sorry,” I said over my shoulder as I hurried toward the car. “I forgot I had to be somewhere.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ve known you for how many years? It’s obvious Taylor upset you,
again
.” She pulled me to a halt and studied my face as I tried to hold back tears. “It was a long time ago, though. I didn’t think you’d still have feelings for him.”

I shook my head, unable to speak, and understanding dawned on her pretty face. “Oh!” Her eyes widened. “You and Cole hooked back up again?”

How could I tell her it was so much more than that? What we had wasn’t just a hook up. I’d thought it was the real thing—a true love that would keep us together until we were old and grey. Clearly, Cole didn’t feel the same way. In my mind, I tried to piece together the dates. Had it been before we’d first had sex again, or after? I hated the idea that he’d touched her first, but also hated the idea of him cheating on me after as well. It was as though she’d come in and tainted everything that had happened over the past few weeks. If only it had been anyone but
her
.

“I have to go,” I said, turning and hurrying away again. I didn’t want her to see me crying.

I wanted to see Cole, but at the same time I couldn’t stand to look at him. Had he been there for me, holding me when I’d been struggling with everything, while all the time knowing he’d been with her? The images of them together filled my head, the thought of his tongue in her mouth, and him pushing inside her. Had his fingers been inside her, too? The same fingers that had stroked my hair and face, and told me he’d take care of me and that I’d never be alone again.

I felt sick.

I just wanted to get away from there. I wanted to run home, shut my door, and never open it again.

Chapter Thirty-five

Gabi - Eleven Years Earlier

I burst through
my front door, tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t believe what was going on with Cole. He’d never laid a finger on me before, and tonight he’d frightened me. I didn’t like seeing that side of him—it made me wonder how much further he would go. Plus, it made me feel like I didn’t really know him at all—something that broke my heart as much as the awful things he’d said to me. If I didn’t really know him, then the past couple of months were nothing but a lie.

I ran up the stairs to my bedroom, my feet pounding on the treads. My dad was home, but I couldn’t face him right now. I just wanted to be on my own. In fact, I didn’t think I’d ever want to face anyone ever again, especially after my humiliation at school. But I was worried about Cole as much as devastated by how he’d treated me. I’d never liked Ryan, and after he’d come on to me, it didn’t surprise me in the slightest that Ryan had used me to threaten Cole. I also didn’t doubt Ryan’s threats were true. I bet that bastard would do anything to get back at me for stomping on his foot and running away that day.

I threw myself on my bed, tears pouring down my face. Despite wanting to be left alone, I heard my dad’s feet coming up the stairs after me. He must be worried about me, too, and honestly, right at that moment I just wanted to be a little girl in my dad’s arms again, and not have to worry about all the bullshit that came with being older.

A knock came at the door, and then it opened a crack. “Gabi, honey? What’s happened?”

I turned from him and buried my face in the pillow. “Nothing. I just want to be left alone.”

His footsteps crossed the room, and the bed dipped with his weight as he sat on the edge. “I’m not going to leave you on your own when you’re so upset about something. Now you might as well tell me what’s happening, because you know I’m going to get it out of you at some point.”

“Please, Dad, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Gabi, if Cole has done something to upset you, I want to know. I’m not going to go all crazy, but I want to be able to support you. I love you more than anyone else in this world, and I want you to be able to confide in me.”

The truth was, I wanted my dad, too. I was hurt and confused, and worried to death about what Cole was getting himself into.

My dad had a way of getting the truth out of people—I guessed that was why he did the job he did.

I wiped my face and sat up. I stared down at my hands in my lap. “Cole said he doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. Do you want me to go and break his kneecaps?”

I gave a forced bark of laughter. “No, Dad, of course not.”

“I thought the two of you were really close.”

“That’s the thing, we are. I’m worried about him, Dad. He’s gotten himself caught up in something with the guys he plays in the band with, and he thinks by breaking up with me, he’s protecting me, somehow.”

He frowned. “What sort of thing?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. He’s been borrowing his foster parents’ truck and heading off to places, though. I don’t know if it’s connected, but he’s been acting strangely ever since it started. I’m so worried about him.” Tears were close again. Cole had made me believe whatever he was doing was illegal, but I didn’t plan on telling my dad that. I knew how he felt about Cole being caught up with the band. I just wanted some advice from him about where to go from here.

“I have to admit that I’m pleased to see you out of it, Gabi. You know how I felt about those boys.”

“Dad, please. I don’t need a lecture. I just need to know what I’m supposed to do about Cole.”

“I don’t want you doing anything. It’s not your place. He’s still under his foster family’s roof for the moment, so they should be the ones to handle whatever trouble he’s gotten himself into, not you.” He thought for a moment and then said, “Would it help if I had a word with him?”

“No! Please don’t, Dad. That won’t help at all.”

“Maybe I should have a word with his foster parents instead. If I was able to convince them to keep him home, or not let him borrow the truck, would that help?”

I allowed my heart to lift with faint hope. “I don’t know how much, but maybe a little.”

“When does he need to borrow it?”

“Tomorrow night, I think.”

My dad nodded. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

I didn’t want to get Cole in trouble, but I had to do something. He was under his foster parents’ care for the moment, and perhaps it would be a good thing for Emily and Stephen Cowen to speak to him. Even though Cole had butted heads with them on occasion, he did respect that they’d done their best for him. I didn’t think I had any other choice. He wasn’t going to listen to me, and he’d hate it if my dad tried to talk to him—in fact, if he knew I’d spoken to my dad about this at all, he’d go crazy.

I just hoped they would be able to talk some sense into him.

***

I went to
school the next day, trying to ignore all the whispered comments and nudges that followed me as I passed through the halls. I’d hoped Cole’s treatment of me in the hall the previous day might have been forgotten, but it clearly hadn’t.

Jasmine caught up with me. “Hey, how are you doing?”

“I’ve been better. Have you seen Cole today?”

She shook her head, but glanced away.

I frowned. Why did I get the feeling she wasn’t telling me something?

We went to class, and I sat through my lectures, not listening to a single word said. My mind stayed on Cole the whole time, wondering if my dad had been to see his foster parents yet, and if Cole would hate me for saying something. I hoped he’d understand I was desperate. Plus, it didn’t matter if he hated me as long as he agreed to stay away from Ryan and his gang.

Jasmine and I decided to have lunch outside. I was happy to find a tree, where I could sit in the shade and hide behind the trunk. People were still looking at me, though I did my best to keep my head down and ignore any comments, though I couldn’t miss a couple.

“—going to be a cat-fight when she finds out.”

More giggles.

“—cut off his balls …”

I turned to Jas. “What are they talking about?”

“No idea. I’m sure it’s nothing about you and Cole.”

But as soon as she said it, I knew she was lying. “Jasmine, just tell me.”

She shrugged. “It’s nothing, I’m sure. People are just gossiping …”

“About what?”

Her eyes widened, staring in the direction of the building which housed the gym. I followed her line of sight and my heartrate skyrocketed. I’d have recognized Cole anywhere, even from behind as he was standing now, one hand pressed against the wall, his head ducked slightly as he talked to someone. The position made my stomach drop and I suddenly felt sick. He had someone pinned up against the wall, and it wasn’t in a violent, aggressive way. Quite the opposite. I could tell from the way his body was positioned that he had no intention of fighting the person he was speaking to.

Jasmine’s hand on my arm drew my attention momentarily. “Come on, Gabi. Let’s go back inside.”

I tugged my arm away. “No, I need to see this for myself.”

I suddenly understood what all the gossiping in the halls was about. It wasn’t just that Cole had dumped me in the middle of school yesterday, it was that he was now hooking up with someone else.

With my heart pounding, I stomped across the grass toward him.

He must have sensed me coming, because he glanced over his shoulder and spotted me. I thought seeing me might have made him jump away from whatever tramp he had cozied up to, but he did quite the opposite. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her waist, ducked his head, and kissed her.

I froze.

This wasn’t a ‘peck on the lips’ kind of kiss. It was a full, ‘bodies pressed together, tongue in mouth, dry-humping’ kind of kiss. The same kiss we’d shared on so many occasions.

Well, never again.

And then, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I realized who the bitch was he was kissing.

Taylor.

With blood pounding in my ears, the world distant and faint around me, I turned and ran. I only wanted to get away from there. I was done. With my friends. With school.

With Cole.