No Regrets (12 page)

“Do you live close?” I whispered against his lips.

He nodded and pulled me toward the street, his lips barely pausing their assault on mine. He must have waved down a cab, but I didn't notice. I was too focused on how warm and sticky his skin felt under my fingers, and how hot it felt to have his hand tangled in my hair.

He pulled away when the cab came to a stop next to us, and we stumbled inside. I could barely breathe from the kiss, so I took the opportunity to try and calm my burning lungs. My hair was wild and damp from sweat. I pushed it out of my face as Mike gave the driver his address. Just as the cab started to move, I looked back at the club and my eyes met Liam's. He was leaning up against the wall, right next to the entrance. Watching me. I hadn't even noticed him standing there.

When Mike's mouth covered mine, I was still looking out the window at the passing crowds. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to push the image of Liam's blue eyes out of my mind. Mike's hand moved to my bare leg and slowly slid up, and I squeezed my eyes tighter. His fingers were soft and teasing, and the throbbing between my thighs begged for relief. My body wanted more, but my mind and heart screamed for me to put an end to it. Right or wrong, I listened to my body.

We kissed the whole way back to his apartment, making out like we weren't in the back of a cab with every move we made scrutinized by the driver. When the cab screeched to a halt, Mike threw some money the driver's way and pulled me out onto the sidewalk. The street was dark, lit only by a single bulb hanging above a door to my left. I tried to get a good look around, to figure out exactly what part of the city we were in, but Mike wasn't making it easy. His mouth never left mine, even as he fumbled with the keys. How he got the door open, I'll never know, but somehow he managed. Then we climbed the stairs, going at it the whole way.

We stumbled into the apartment, tangled in each other's arms. I kicked off my shoes, which made me so short I had to stand on the tips of my toes. I felt like a ballerina. A slutty one, but still. Mike's hand slid up my body to cup my breast while his mouth moved over mine. Every inch of my body buzzed with excitement. I was going to have a one-night stand! Finally!

I grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled. He broke away long enough for me to get it over his head, but his mouth was back on mine the second the shirt hit the floor. We were still standing in the middle of the room, and my calves burned from standing on my toes for so long.

“Where's the bed?” I said against his lips.

He pulled back and jerked his head to the right, and I got my first good look at the place. It was a studio apartment with high ceilings that had an industrial look. The room was open, with the kitchen to my left. A small dining area was set up next to it, with the living room on the other side. To the right was an unmade bed. The only thing blocking it from the rest of the room was a wooden screen. It didn't offer much privacy.

My heart pounded at the sight of the bed. The thrill I'd felt just a few minutes ago at the thought of sleeping with someone I didn't know melted away, and I had the sudden urge to hide. Dammit. This wasn't supposed to be how things were. Sex wasn't supposed to be a big deal. Isn't that what everyone said?

Suddenly, it felt like a huge deal.

“How about a drink,” I sputtered.

Mike grinned, then kissed me gently. “Sure. You want a beer?”

I nodded and he headed for the kitchen. He didn't seem like an asshole, but a sudden disgust came over me at the realization that he'd brought me to his place even though we'd just met. Which was totally hypocritical. Hadn't I agreed?

He came back with two bottles of Blue Moon, which I hated. I took one anyway and he headed for the couch. My stomach felt so uneasy, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get the beer down, but it didn't stop me from taking a big swig. It tasted more disgusting than usual.

Mike flopped down on the couch and kicked off his shoes. He was only wearing jeans, and for the first time I got a very good look at him in all his muscled glory. He worked out. A lot.

I took a seat next to him and for a few minutes we drank in silence. The longer we sat there, the more nervous I became. I suddenly felt like I was facing a firing squad, not sitting next to a very good-looking half-naked guy. It was an awful feeling.

I downed the last of my beer and set the bottle on the table, then turned to Mike, forcing out a smile. He grinned back, which showed off the cute little dimple in his left cheek. He didn't resist when I took the bottle out of his hand. When I hiked up my dress so I could straddle him, his smile got bigger.

“I thought you were going to change your mind,” he said, putting his hands on my hips, then running them up my back.

“I don't usually do this kind of thing,” I responded, leaning forward so I could press my lips against his.

He groaned and shifted under me. Heat pulsed through me once again. Yes. I could do this. I just needed to focus.

I put everything I had into kissing him. Pretty soon my zipper was undone and my dress pulled down, then my bra was gone. We were still on the couch, but things were heating up fast. Then Mike stood, lifting me off the couch with him, carrying me across the room as our tongues moved against one another.

He laid me on the bed and his lips left mine, trailing their way down my neck and chest to my stomach. Pulling my dress down along the way. Leaving me in nothing but my pink lacy thong. I opened my eyes to find him hovering over me, his own pants discarded on the floor. He wore nothing but gray boxer briefs that looked like they were about three sizes too small.

He joined me on the bed and we kissed as his rough hands moved over my body, teasing me until I was writhing under him. I was so hot. So ready. I wanted to take the next step and be crazy and wild and have sex with a total stranger. Make Julie proud.

“Do you have a condom?” I said against his lips.

He nodded and pulled away, reaching for the drawer in the bedside table. My heart thumped in my ears. It was so loud I could hardly focus on anything else.

“Shit.” Mike jumped off the bed and gave me a sheepish smile. He had an empty box in his hand. “I'm all out.”

Nope. No way. I sat up, crossing my arms over my chest. “Then this isn't happening.”

“Wait!” He motioned for me to stay where I was, then scooped his pants up off the floor. “I'll get some. My neighbor across the hall will have them. Just hold on!”

He shoved one leg into his jeans and hopped across the room while he tried to force the other one in. He didn't even have them up all the way when he opened the front door. Then he shut it behind him, leaving me alone. I threw myself back against the mattress. The thump of Mike banging on his neighbor's door echoed through the apartment.

My heartbeat slowed as I stared at the ceiling. Being alone in the apartment was surreal. Like I was watching a movie. It didn't feel like
me
. I was naked and alone and I had no clue where the hell I was. I hadn't paid any attention to where the cab took us, and I didn't even know Mike's last name!

A sudden chill came over me and I shivered. I wiggled in the bed until I was able to untangle the sheet and pull it over me. It didn't seem like enough, especially considering Mike was out in the hall trying to get a condom. So we could have sex.

What the hell was I doing?

I wasn't a virgin, not by a long shot. But I'd only slept with two other guys, and both of them I'd dated for six months before I finally gave in. Okay, five and a half months with the second one, but he was hot and I didn't want to wait any longer. Still! Mike was a stranger!

A stranger who brought women back to his apartment. How often had he done this? Who had he been with? I thought back to the bar and the club, and all the skanky girls I'd seen. Some had been okay, but others looked like they'd been around the block about eighty times. What if one of them had been here yesterday? In this very same bed? I shuddered. No way did I want to follow that act.

The sound of voices penetrated the wall and I heard Mike chuckle. I knew he'd be back any second, and then I'd be forced to make a choice. Condom or not, there was no way in hell I was going to let his possibly diseased thing near me. I didn't want to get skankitis.

The doorknob jiggled. I rolled onto my side and squeezed my eyes shut. My heart was pounding, so I had to work hard to slow my breathing. I wanted it to look real. Like I'd fallen asleep waiting for him.

Footsteps pounded against the hardwood floor and my heart beat faster. I couldn't get it to calm down. I only hoped Mike was so drunk he wouldn't notice.

“Got some.” The footsteps stopped. “Cami?”

I kept my face smooth and focused on breathing in and out.

He took a step closer. “Cami? Dammit,” he muttered, “I guess we shouldn't have had that last beer.”

He sighed, and I couldn't tell for sure, but I thought he dropped his pants. My heart pounded harder as he walked toward the bed. The lamp clicked and the small amount of light penetrating my eyelids disappeared. The room was pitch black. The other side of the bed dipped when he crawled in next to me, and my body stiffened involuntarily. I waited for something to happen. For him to touch me. If he did I'd claw his eyes out.

Fortunately, all Mike did was roll over next to me and pull the covers over his body. I couldn't move, but I also couldn't relax enough to fall asleep. Within minutes Mike's breathing was heavier and I knew he was out, but I couldn't calm my heart down or get my brain to shut off. I knew I wouldn't sleep a wink. I was too afraid this stranger was going to attack me.

M
y bladder was cursing me when I woke up the next morning. I couldn't believe I'd been able to fall asleep. I'd thought I would lie awake for hours, just staring into the darkness, listening to Mike's heavy breathing. I sure as hell didn't feel like I'd gotten any rest.

It was barely light in the apartment, but I wasn't sure if the dimness was due to the heavy curtains or if it was still dark outside. I rolled out of bed, careful not to wake Mike, who was passed out on his stomach next to me wearing nothing but his boxer briefs. If I hadn't already felt like a total slut, I would have when I saw him lying there. Without the alcohol in my blood or the haze in my brain, I couldn't remember why in the world I'd decided to do something so ridiculous. The guy could have been an asshole or a rapist or a murderer, and I'd just let him lead me to his apartment like a big dummy. In the light of day, it seemed like the perfect way to end up as a headline on the Yahoo! news page.
Naïve college co-ed goes home with axe murderer. Ends up cut into a million tiny pieces.

I didn't have a clue where the bathroom was, but it was a studio apartment, so I headed for the only door I could find. It turned out to be the right place, and in the privacy of the bathroom I planned my escape. I would grab my dress and bra off the floor of the bedroom, and I knew my shoes were by the door. My purse had to be with them. I didn't remember dropping it when we came in, but there was no way I'd left it at the bar. Once I was dressed, I'd sneak out and never have to see Mike again.

It was foolproof.

Except when I stepped out of the bathroom Mike was in the kitchen making coffee. My heart jumped to my throat and I froze, wishing I had a weapon to defend myself just in case he did turn out to be a psycho who refused to let me leave. Now what the hell was I supposed to do?

“Morning,” Mike called, turning to face me.

Unfortunately, I was still wearing nothing but my itsy bitsy thong. My cheeks burst into flames and I crossed my arms over my chest. My skinny arms didn't hide much. If I could have kept my boobs covered and slapped myself on the forehead, I would have.

“Morning.” I had a hard time meeting his gaze, but I wanted to keep him in my line of vision. You know, just in case he decided to attack.

“You kind of fell asleep on me last night. Well, not on me. That at least would have been something.” He grinned and leaned his hip against the counter. Very casual, which helped me relax a tiny bit.

My cheeks got even hotter than they already were and I shuffled awkwardly. “Um . . . yeah, sorry about that. I guess I drank a little too much. I don't really know what happened, it's all kind of fuzzy. I mean, this isn't something I usually do. Going home with a guy like this, I mean. Not that I judge anyone else for doing it, I just don't know if it was the best idea.”

I was, of course, rambling again. The more I talked the bigger Mike's grin got, and the more he smiled, the more I talked. I couldn't seem to stop and I felt like I was saying the same thing over and over again. Not that I knew for sure, because after about thirty seconds of running my mouth I lost track of everything coming out of it.

Finally, I blurted out, “Feel free to stop me any time you want. If you don't I'm liable to keep you here the whole day blathering on about every little thought that enters my mind. It's kind of a problem with me.”

Mike chuckled and pushed himself off the counter. “Don't worry about it. It isn't really something I do either.”

“It isn't?” My arms fell to my sides. Then I remembered I was naked and crossed them over my chest again.

“Nope. I recently got out of a serious relationship. My ex-fiancée decided she couldn't do the whole military wife thing after all. Dumped me a couple weeks before our wedding.”

“Oh shit,” I said. “I'm so sorry.”

Mike let out a long, deep breath and shook his head. Almost like he still couldn't believe it. “Yeah. It happened about six months ago. I can't say I'm really over it, but I've decided it's time to move on. Last night was my first night out in a while and Jon was determined to help get me laid.”

“Sorry that didn't pan out.” It was a half-hearted apology, and I was sure he noticed.

“It's okay. I'm not really sure if the whole one-night stand thing is really me anyway.”

“So you're saying you're glad we didn't end up having sex?” I didn't believe that for a second. If he tried to convince me it was true, I'd know his whole story was bullshit.

Mike coughed and tried to bite back a smile, but he didn't succeed. “Um . . . I'm pretty sure if I said that you'd know I was lying. I mean, I'm still a guy and I had a really hot naked chick in my bed.” He shrugged but didn't look ashamed to be admitting the truth. “I wouldn't be hating myself right now, that's for sure.”

I laughed so he'd know I wasn't upset. Surprisingly, Mike had turned out to be a pretty nice guy. He didn't attack me or even try to make me feel like shit. Of course, that didn't mean I was sorry I'd faked passing out, but I didn't hate myself quite as much as before. I couldn't really blame the guy for wanting to erase his ex from his mind. Especially after the way she screwed him over.

“Okay. I think I'm going to go find my dress now.” I turned and headed toward the bedroom, throwing over my shoulder, “Try not to stare at my ass too much.”

Mike chuckled behind me as he most definitely watched me walk away.

My dress was right where I'd left it, but my bra was MIA. After searching around the bed and between the covers, I ended up on my hands and knees so I could look under the bed. I would have just left the damn thing, but Victoria's Secret charges way too much for a bra. No way was I going to just walk away and leave it at some random guy's apartment.

After I replayed the events of the night, I realized Mike had taken it off me while we were in the living room. I put my dress on without it and headed back out, only to find my bra lying on the floor right in front of the couch. I scooped it up as I glanced toward the door, where I knew my shoes were, and was relieved to see my purse lying on the floor next to them. Thank God I hadn't left it at the bar.

Mike was at the little kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a plate of waffles in front of him. “Sit down,” he said, waving toward a second mug and a plate. “Eat.”

He'd made me breakfast? Could he be any more adorable? Probably not. My stomach growled and a warm feeling surged through me as I stood there, watching Mike. He was shirtless and his dark hair was totally messy. He stared at me expectantly while he waited for me to sit down.

“Um . . . I was thinking of heading out.” My stomach growled, but the need to get away was still there. I didn't feel like me, and I was anxious to leave.

Mike shoved the chair away from the table and patted it. “No way. I'll give you a lift after you eat something. I'm not going to make you do the walk of shame.”

A reluctant smile turned up my lips, and for some reason I found myself sitting down. “It's still the walk of shame if you drive me.”

“Whatever. I'm still driving you.”

My stomach rumbled again when I looked at the waffles, so I gave in and took a big bite. They were Eggo, but they still tasted amazing after a night of drinking. I shoveled them in like I hadn't eaten in a week.

“Thanks,” I said between bites.

“No problem,” Mike said with a grin, then took a sip of his coffee.

He really
was
cute.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, but every once in a while Mike would look up and study me. I squirmed and looked down to make sure I hadn't forgotten an important article of clothing, but everything seemed to be in order. Still, the look he gave me was making me feel insanely self-conscious. I was sure my makeup was so smeared I could have passed for a member of KISS, and my hair had to be in huge knots. Was Mike trying to figure out why he'd brought me home with him the night before? He was probably marveling over the wonders of beer goggles.

“Listen,” he finally said, “I'm not looking for a serious relationship or anything, but I did have a really good time with you last night. Maybe you could give me your number and we can hang out some time?”

That wasn't exactly what I'd been expecting. I chewed my waffle slowly while I considered it. I was kind of dating Liam, but of course that hadn't stopped me from going home with Mike the night before. And I didn't want to give Liam the wrong idea. We could hang out and have a good time, but we weren't exclusive or anything. Plus, dating two guys at once did sound like a good alternative to the whole one-night stand thing. At least for the time being.

I nodded and finally swallowed my waffles. I'd been chewing them so long I probably looked like a cow. “Yeah. We could do that.”

 

Annie was still in bed when I got back to the dorm. She rolled over and blinked at me like she wasn't sure where she was or who had walked into her room. “What time is it?”

“Just after ten.” I tore my dress off and tossed it on top of my huge pile of dirty clothes. That was really something I needed to take care of, but it was Sunday. A day to rest. “Did you and Chris kiss and make up last night?” I asked Annie as I stared at the pile of clothes like they would get up and take care of themselves. They didn't.

She pulled her pillow over her head. “Not exactly.”

What did that mean? I looked up and narrowed my eyes on Annie, who was huddled under her blankets. When I'd left her, she had been standing between Chris and Jon. Did that mean . . .

I ripped the pillow off her head and grinned from ear to ear. “Did you go home with Jon?”

For a brief moment, she looked like she was going to be sick. “No. The drama kind of killed the mood.”

“That sucks,” I said as the smile melted off my face.

Annie rolled away from me, hiding her face in her pillow. “You're telling me.”

When I crossed my arms over my chest it occurred to me I was totally naked. Not that I cared. Annie had seen it before. I didn't have a whole lot of modesty. “So how did you get home?”

“Ryan got me a cab.” Her face was still buried in her pillow, so the words came out muffled.

“Bummer,” I said as I headed to the bathroom. It was starting to seem as if Annie was never going to lose it. I felt for the girl.

“I guess you had a good time,” she called after me.

“Yup!” I said before I could stop myself.

I couldn't decide whether or not that was true, though. There had been moments that were freaking amazing, and moments when I'd felt like I wanted to curl in on myself and disappear. But Mike had ended up being a nice guy, so the night hadn't been a total waste.

I went through the motions of getting ready for the day without really focusing on what I was doing. My mind was occupied with what had gone on the night before and my mouth was moving on its own. Without really knowing it, I found myself bragging about Mike like he was just another notch in my bedpost. Which didn't make a lick of sense considering I'd pretended to fall asleep. I had no clue why I was lying to Annie about it. Was it because if I admitted the truth I'd be letting Julie down even more? Sometimes even I didn't understand how my brain worked.

“I think I'm going to the beach today,” I declared. “It's gorgeous outside and pretty soon it will be too cold, so we should take advantage of the weather. I'll call Ryan. He'll give us a ride for sure.”

Annie finally dragged herself out of bed and headed to the bathroom without answering. I took it as a sign she was in and grabbed my phone. Unfortunately, Ryan's phone went straight to voice mail. Dammit. Now how was I going to get there? Ryan was the only one who had a car! Maybe I should have worked for Dad over the summer after all.

No, Mike had a car too. He'd given me a lift back to the dorm, and he'd mentioned he didn't have any plans for the day. Would it be weird to call him so soon? I wasn't totally sure how he'd react, but I wanted to go to the beach bad enough to risk it, so I pulled up his contact info and hit
SEND
. If he didn't want to talk to me, he'd just ignore the call. Right?

He picked up on the second ring. “Hey. That was fast. You miss me or something?”

“No, silly.” I giggled. “It's so nice outside and I want to go to the beach, but I don't have a car. What do you say? You interested?”

“So you're just using me for my car?”

“Of course not! We said we were going to hang out. Why not start now?”

“Good point. Of course, right before your call I made plans with my couch and Xbox, so you're going to have to make it worth my while. I'll drive you, but only if you promise to wear the skimpiest bikini imaginable.”

“Whose imagination are you talking about? Mine or yours? I'm not sure I have anything that would live up to what you have floating around in that filthy mind of yours.”

He chuckled. “See, we just met and already you know how my mind works.”

“You're a guy—you aren't that hard to read.”

“Good point. What time will you be ready to head to the beach?”

“Whenever you want to come get me.”

“Give me thirty minutes.”

After I hung up, I dug out all the swimsuits I owned. There were strings and little triangles in various colors covering my bed, but it only took me about two seconds to choose the red one. It was the one that always made my mama frown in disapproval.

After I was dressed and ready to go, I found myself staring at my desk drawer. Where I kept my notebook. I swear I stood there for ten minutes gawking at the desk as if I were in some kind of hypnotic state. It had a strange pull on me sometimes, like a spaceship being sucked into a black hole in some sci-fi movie. For some reason, though, I found myself pulling back. I wasn't sure if it had to do with the fact that I actually found myself liking Liam, or if it was because of my failed attempt at a one-night stand. Either way, I resisted.