No Regrets (10 page)

I gasped when his mouth moved away from mine. He trailed kisses down my neck, to my chest. His hands moved up my thighs. His lips stopped just above the neckline of my dress, and he traced his tongue across the swell of my breasts.

“We can't stay here,” I gasped.

I didn't want to move, but we were in the hall where anyone could see us. We needed privacy.

Liam's right hand cupped my breast, but otherwise he didn't respond. His mouth moved back up my chest and I was eternally grateful for the wall at my back. I was one hundred percent positive I would have collapsed without it. He kissed up my neck and across my chin to my ear. A sharp pain cut across my lobe when he gripped it between his teeth, and another gasp forced its way out of me. I closed my eyes.

My brain was so fuzzy I had a difficult time thinking, but I knew we needed to move.

“Liam.” His name came out sounding like a gasp of ecstasy, and I was greeted with a low grunt from him. “We have to go somewhere else.”

He didn't stop kissing my neck as he said, “Where?”

I stared at the ceiling and tried to focus through the haze. My dorm was so far away, but I didn't have any other ideas. If only I had . . .

“A car?” I said, even though I didn't have one and I knew he didn't either.

Liam pulled back and smiled. He stuck his hand into his pocket, and when he pulled Ryan's keys out, I almost did a cheer right there in the hall. “Good thing I forgot to return these.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the stairs. We moved so fast it felt like only seconds passed before we stumbled outside. Luckily, Ryan's car was parked right in front of the building. Liam pushed the button to unlock the door, and I squeezed my way into the backseat. Ryan had an old two-door Civic, so getting in was a bit of a challenge, but it was worth it once Liam climbed in behind me.

He shut the door and I practically shoved him into the seat. My lips were on his while I hiked up my skirt and climbed on his lap. By that point, I felt feral. Like I was ready to hold him down until he begged.

We picked up right where we'd left off. Liam's mouth attacked mine as his hands went to work on my body. Running down my back, gripping my ass, pulling me closer until his hardness was pressed right up against me. It sent a shiver of desire shooting through me. I moved my hips, rubbing my body against him. Gasping as his lips trailed down my neck once again.

I gripped the back of his neck when his mouth stopped just above my breasts. He ran his tongue across my chest as his hands squeezed my ass, pulling me closer. Liam's hair was damp as I ran my fingers through it, and mine wasn't much better. The car was hotter than a sauna and the windows were so steamed up we couldn't see out. I had a brief, crazy thought that I should slam my hand against the window like in
Titanic
. Anybody passing the car would know exactly what was going on, anyway.

Liam's mouth made its way back up to mine, and we stayed like that. Making out until my lips felt swollen, and my body hummed with the need for more. It was so sexy and thrilling that I didn't want it to end, but it was too freaking hot in the car. My skin was covered in a layer of sweat and Liam's hair was so damp it had curled around his ears. We needed to get these clothes off. That would help us cool down.

I moved back a bit and reached for Liam's zipper, but his fingers wrapped around my wrist.

He pulled his lips away from mine and took a deep breath. “Stop.”

“What?” I gasped.

There was no way I'd heard him right. I knew he wanted me. Hell, I could feel how much he wanted me. So it didn't make any sense that he'd be telling me to stop.

Liam closed his eyes and took a couple more deep breaths. His fingers tightened on my wrist. “We need to slow it down.”

He opened his eyes and I half expected him to burst out laughing. But he was dead serious.

“What are you talking about? Isn't this why we came out here?”

Liam moved my hand farther away from his zipper and let go of my wrist. Then he eased me off his lap. My skirt was practically up around my waist, but I didn't give a shit. All I cared about was the fact that Liam had put on the brakes for some insane reason. Again!

He ran his hand through his wet hair. “I just can't be that guy anymore, Cami.”

“What guy? What are you talking about?”

“The wanker who shags every girl he meets.” He flashed me a lopsided grin that was just barely visible in the darkness of the car. “I'm turning over a new leaf.”

“Now? You made this decision now, right in the middle of this?” I was starting to sound slightly hysterical, but I couldn't help it.

His smile faltered and he shook his head. “No. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I don't even know why I was doing all this, you know.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Okay, that's a bloody lie. I know why I was doing it.”

I still couldn't wrap my brain around what was happening. It seemed so out-of-the-blue. Liam wanted to be a better man, and that was great. But what had brought it on?

“I don't understand.”

Liam pressed his lips together and there was just enough light in the car to see how torn he was. Something was going on, but I wasn't sure what. It reminded me of the day he'd yelled at me. He'd sounded like he was having an argument with his mom. Family stuff, that's what Ryan had said. What the hell did his family stuff have to do with me?

“My dad's a tosser,” he finally said. “I barely know him, really, but what little bit I do know, I hate. He's a rich guy, and I guess he thinks that means he can treat everyone around him like rubbish. He screwed my mum over pretty badly. Knocked her up, then just ran out.” Liam took a deep breath. “I always hated how much I was like him, but I never did anything about it.”

Liam was pouring his heart out to me right there in the back of Ryan's car. He looked so young and vulnerable, and his words sounded so sincere that I found myself wanting him more than ever. Feeling more attracted to him than ever before. There was something so sexy about the fact that he could be that vulnerable and gentle when we talked, yet so commanding and in control when we made out. It was the perfect combination.

Of course, it didn't mean I loved that he was about to walk away from me. “You're not doing anything wrong, Liam. I'm willing, and I get that you don't want to date me. I'm okay with it. You don't have anything to feel guilty about.”

He exhaled, and even before he said it, I knew what was coming. “Ryan.”

Damn Ryan! Why the hell couldn't he just let me make my own mistakes?

I scooted closer to Liam. “Ryan doesn't have to know.”

“I can't do that, Cami.” He studied me closely, and I held my breath while I waited for him to say something. Anything that would help me understand.

He opened his mouth just as there was a tap on the window. A light shone through the glass, and even through the steam it was blinding. I held up my hand to cover my eyes.

“Charleston PD. Come on out of there, kids.”

Shit. My heart went into overdrive. Getting arrested would not convince Ryan I was responsible.

“Bloody hell.”

Liam pushed open the door and climbed out. I was right behind him, pulling my skirt down as I sucked in a mouthful of fresh air. Compared to the stifling heat of the car, it felt cool and crisp outside.

Two cops stood on the sidewalk in front of us. The first guy was probably twenty-five at the most and good looking. Like someone you'd see on one of those cop TV shows. But the other guy was big and middle-aged, and had a gray mustache in desperate need of a trim. He was more what I pictured a real cop looking like.

Liam flashed them a dazzling smile. “How you doing tonight, officers?”

“You two realize it's against city ordinances to have sexual relations in a parked car?” the older man said.

“We were just talking,” I snapped.

Liam frowned in my direction and shook his head.

The younger cop chuckled. “Like we've never heard that one before.”

A few people had stopped to see what all the commotion was about. One of the bystanders, a guy about our age, laughed right along with the cop. Which made me cross my arms over my chest and scowl.

Liam ran his hand down his face, and I swear his cheeks were red. He may have been embarrassed, but I wasn't. I was annoyed. I was being accused of doing something I hadn't even done, and Liam wasn't saying a damn word!

I shoved a mass of sweaty hair out of my face. “I'm sure you have heard that before, but in our case it's true. I came out here all ready to have sex, but he decided he couldn't do it because he's friends with my brother.” I jerked my thumb toward Liam. “Can you imagine how annoying it is to have a guy go all honorable right when you're about to seal the deal? No? Well let me tell you, it's freaking irritating as hell.”

Liam's mouth dropped open and laughter broke out in the small crowd that had gathered to watch us. The younger cop had a huge grin on his face, and even the older cop cracked a smile. Suddenly, it hit me how ridiculous the situation was, and I burst out laughing. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I ever keep my mouth shut?

“I'm sorry,” I said between giggles. “I don't know why I just told you all of that! My mouth kind of has a mind of its own.”

The older cop took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. “You two from around here?”

“My brother lives there,” I said, pointing to the apartment building at our backs, then toward Liam. “This is his roommate.”

“Damn.” The younger cop was still smiling. “You two head on back to your place. Next time, I'd advise you to just do it in your apartment. That way you won't get arrested.”

Liam grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the building. “Thank you, officers. We'll do that.”

I was still laughing so hard I couldn't talk, so I just waved over my shoulder as I jogged after Liam.

Once we were inside, Liam turned around to face me. Thankfully, he was smiling. “I thought for sure we were going to get arrested back there.”

“Please!” I said, heading back up the stairs. “There isn't a jail cell in this state that can hold me.”

I scanned the words I'd written one last time before I shut the notebook. I'd avoided writing in it for a few days and I knew it had to do with the guilt I felt over Liam. As much as I wanted to try to convince myself we were just having a good time, I couldn't. There was more to it than that. It was obvious now that Liam really liked me. What's more, I liked him.

Spending so much time with Liam made me feel like I was abandoning Julie. On top of that, I'd found myself talking to her less and less. It felt like she was slowly fading from my life, and it scared the shit out of me. But it also made me feel lighter. Once I was able to push away the guilt, that is.

My appointment with Dr. Houseman was in fifteen minutes and I knew I needed to hurry, but I was having a difficult time getting motivated. I'd lied the previous week when he asked about the journal. After Annie's party, I'd stopped writing in it every day. Only I couldn't admit that to Dr. Houseman. I just wasn't sure if it was because I was worried he'd judge me, or that he'd be proud of me.

When I got to the office, Jeannie was reading as usual. I was right on time, so she didn't bother with the lecture, and Dr. Houseman's door was already open. He stood in the middle of the room looking over a piece of paper. He waved me in when he saw me.

I took a seat on the couch while he settled into his chair. My notebook was clutched in my hands instead of in my bag, as if I wanted to prove to him I was still writing in it. His eyes moved over it, then up to my face. I squirmed.

“You're still writing in your journal?” Dr. Houseman asked, motioning toward the notebook.

My fingers wrapped around it tighter. If I wasn't careful, I was going to end up with a couple hundred paper cuts. “Yup. Giving Julie all the juicy details,” I said, trying to keep my voice light.

Dr. Houseman raised his eyebrows, and I knew right away I'd made a mistake. I never joked around in his office. Ever. Outside those walls I was the bubbly Cami who could never stop talking, but on that leather couch I turned mute. It was hard for me to get an entire sentence out.

“Do you want me to read it?” he asked.

My eyebrows shot up and my eyes got so big they felt like they were about to pop out of their sockets. He never wanted to read my letters to Julie, so I wasn't sure what had changed. “You always say it's between me and Julie.”

“I just thought you might
want
me to read it. You usually keep your journal in your bag. Today it was already out when you walked into the office. I thought it might mean something.”

I frowned at the pink notebook in my hands. He was right. I never took it out of my purse. Sometimes, I didn't even bring it. Why did I have it out today? I couldn't remember if I'd carried it in my hands the whole way from my dorm room, or if I'd pulled it out when I'd arrived.

“Is there something you want to talk about? Something you wrote to Julie?” he asked when I didn't respond.

I tore my eyes away from the notebook and met Dr. Houseman's gaze. He was so good at keeping his expression neutral.

“I lied last week,” I blurted out before I could think better of it.

“What did you lie about?”

“About writing in the journal every day. I've been slacking off. I wrote in it before I came today, but it had been almost a week since the last time.” Saying it out loud made me break into a sweat.

“Why?” Dr. Houseman kept his voice even, but it didn't help me relax.

I shifted in my seat while he remained totally motionless. Watching me calmly. Waiting for me to answer. I licked my lips. “Why did I lie or why haven't I written in it?”

“Either one,” he said with a shrug. “Whichever one you want to answer.”

“I—I don't know why I lied. Probably because I felt guilty.” I gnawed on my lower lip as I considered what to say next. “I stopped writing in it because I felt guilty too.”

“What do you feel guilty about, Cami? What's happened since your friend's birthday party that has you feeling like you've let Julie down?”

“Liam.” It came out as a whisper.

“Ryan's roommate?”

I nodded and squeezed the journal closer to my chest. “I like him. We've been seeing each other for lunch and dinner. He asked me to come to his place Friday night. He wants to cook me dinner.”

“So you're dating?”

“I don't know. Maybe.”

Dr. Houseman tilted his head and studied me before saying, “Do you want to?”

I sucked in a deep breath and held it until my lungs burned. When I let it out, my body slumped forward. Like I was inflatable and someone had pulled the plug out. “I don't know.”

Dr. Houseman leaned forward and narrowed his eyes on me. I couldn't tell if he was trying to get a read on me or if he was just thinking something through, but his gaze made me squirm. The leather squeaked under me.

“I think if you didn't want to date this guy, then you wouldn't feel guilty. Right?” I nodded and he responded by nodding his head as well. “You aren't doing anything wrong by allowing yourself to be happy, Cami. Understand?”

I licked my lips again and squeezed the notebook so close to my chest the metal spiral holding it together dug into my ribs. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to think that if I went out with Liam it wasn't betraying Julie. I wanted to feel that I was free. That I didn't owe her every second of my life. But I couldn't.

 

By the time Friday rolled around I had talked myself into believing the whole thing with Liam was nothing serious. He'd invited me over to his place because Ryan had a date, which I took to mean he wanted to be alone with me. In my head, I was kind of picturing the evening being more like a booty call. We'd enjoy a quick romp in the sack while Ryan was out on his date, then order a pizza. Maybe go for round two if we had time.

That wasn't exactly what happened, though.

When I got there, Liam answered the door with a big smile on his face and a dozen pink roses in his hand. It was adorable and definitely made my heart skip so many times I wondered if it was playing jump rope. He'd really thrown me off my game.

“Wow,” I said, taking the bundle of roses and giving them a sniff. “I wasn't expecting flowers.”

“I noticed your mobile case was pink, so I thought you'd like the color.”

Okay, so maybe it was a little cliché, but pink was my favorite color. And the fact that Liam had noticed was so sweet I found it difficult to speak. Which for me meant a lot. It also made him about a million times hotter, and made me want him about a billion times more. Go figure.

Liam held the door open so I could go inside. He didn't even make a move to kiss me, which totally blew because at that moment I was imagining sucking on his bottom lip.

The guys didn't have a table in their apartment, which was why I'd kind of figured Liam and I would be lying naked in bed with a box of pizza between us. There was, however, a small bar between the living room and kitchen. That's where Liam had set out two plates and two wineglasses, along with a bottle of what appeared to be champagne. He even had a candle lit. And the apartment smelled a-
maz
-ing!

“Did you cook?” I asked, standing in front of the bar with my mouth hanging open.

I'd never had a guy buy me flowers before, and I definitely hadn't thought for a second Liam would. Plus, he'd actually cooked. For me. It was like his body had been taken over by pod people.

“Of course.” He grinned and picked up the bottle of champagne. “I invited you over for dinner. What did you expect, pizza?”

“Umm . . .yes?”

Liam laughed and ripped the foil off the bottle. He turned it away from me while he worked on getting the cork out. The pop was so loud it made me jump, and the cork flew about three feet through the air before hitting the kitchen cabinet. I was kind of wishing he had aimed at me. Right at my head. Maybe the jolt would have helped me make sense of the situation, because I was totally confused.

Liam filled the glasses and handed me one. “We have about fifteen minutes before dinner is ready.”

I stared at the champagne in my hand and frowned. “You know you don't have to get me drunk, right?”

“What are you talking about?” He paused with his glass halfway to his lips.

Liam looked hurt, which made me feel like a total bitch. He'd gone to so much trouble with the whole thing, but I couldn't even enjoy it because all I was thinking about was jumping his bones. Yeah, I was being a mega bitch.

“I'm kidding.” I forced out a smile and held up the glass. “This is awesome. Thanks!”

He relaxed and returned the smile, and we clinked our glasses together.

Even though I didn't get the booty call I'd been hoping for, the night was pretty sweet. Liam turned out to be a really good cook. He'd made spaghetti, which didn't sound like a big deal until he revealed he'd made his own sauce. Color me impressed. Plus, he'd made the meatballs too.

I was pretty full after stuffing my face full of Italian food, so I couldn't eat dessert right away. Cheesecake drizzled with caramel, chocolate, and chopped pecans. Where the hell did this guy come from? While we waited for our food to digest, we sat in the living room and talked.

“So you mentioned you have a sister. Any other siblings?” I asked, sipping the champagne. The bubbles tickled my lips and made me giggle.

“Just the sister,” he said. “Half sister, really. We have different dads. My mum was married to Elisabeth's dad for about ten years. They split up, but he's still around. Treats me like a son too.”

“What about your biological father? Does he live in England?”

“No, actually. He lives in the States, which is why I'm here.”

He took a drink of his own champagne while he studied me. I got the feeling he didn't talk about his dad a whole lot and he was debating whether or not to tell me more. I honestly wasn't sure how much I wanted him to share. I was really starting to like Liam—
like
him like him—and I was afraid if I got too attached, it would thwart some of my wilder plans for college life. I couldn't really pick up guys in bars and go home with them if I was in a relationship.

Plus, I'd promised Julie I wouldn't settle down until I was a hundred years old. At least.

Liam must have decided I was worth making himself vulnerable, because he said, “He has a place here, actually.”

“Really? In Charleston?” It was a bit of a surprise since he hadn't mentioned it before, but it explained why he was here. Kind of. He did say his dad was a jerk.

Liam nodded. “Isle of Palms. You remember the beach house the frat party was at?”

Was he kidding? How could I forget the beach house? Not only was it pretty much the nicest and most expensive building I'd ever set foot in, we'd shared a pretty amazing moment in that upstairs bedroom. Just thinking about it made my body shiver with pleasure.

I put my hand on his leg and smiled up at him. “I remember very specific things about the beach house.”

“You did seem to have a pretty brilliant time.” Liam flashed me a lopsided grin that showed off those adorably crooked teeth of his. God, was I glad his mom never got him braces.

“It wasn't nearly enough, trust me.” I ran my fingers gently up his thigh.

Liam cleared his throat and shifted his whole body until he was sitting almost out of my reach. My hand was still on his knee at least. “You know you're making it bloody difficult for me to turn over a new leaf, right?”

“I like your old leaf,” I said, flashing him a pout.

“Right.” Liam chuckled and shook his head. “That house belongs to my dad.”

My hand froze on his leg. There weren't many things that could have distracted me from all the dirty thoughts going through my head, but that was definitely one of them.

“Your dad owns that mansion on the beach?”

“He may be a tosser, but he happens to be a very rich tosser. He's why I came here, really. He threw my mum money over the years, but it wasn't much. She couldn't pay for me to go to uni, and it was either beg my dad for the money or work my own way through. I really wanted to tell him to sod off, but I felt like he owed me. Anyway, he agreed to pay my way, but only if I came here. Said he wanted to get to know me. Maybe he's gone soft in his old age, I don't know. Whatever the reason, I saw it as my only option.”

“So he's not a total
tosser
then?” I loved all the British slang, so was sure to emphasize the word.

Liam chuckled again. “No, I guess he's not a total tosser.”

I mulled the whole thing over as I emptied my glass. Liam wanted to turn over a new leaf. His dad was a prick and he didn't want to be that way, which I could understand and even respect. But what did that mean for us? He'd made me dinner, bought me flowers, and opened up to me all in one night. It was starting to feel dangerously close to girlfriend territory.