NO ORDINARY ROOM (7 page)

Jamie Tranter

Jamie hit the send button and sat waiting in anticipation.  Perhaps Mr Koolebron was out playing bowls or tending his vegetable patch.  He assumed that that he was an older person and not some kind of three headed alien.

‘
Sorry, Mr Koolebron I didn’t mean to be personal,’ Jamie said fearing that if Koolebron was some sort of super intelligent, whatever, then he might be able to read Jamie’s thoughts.  Jamie continued with his apology, ‘It’s just that I have no idea what people from outer space look like and I ………
’
Jamie stopped his apology, realizing that he sounded stupid.  He couldn’t believe that he would actually consider that Koolebron could read his mind or that he was out in space somewhere.  He was more likely some old techie with a computer in his garden shed.

 It was nearly an hour later before he felt the familiar buzz when he heard the sound that heralded the arrival of a new email.

Jamie quickly scanned the email which read:

Jamie,

I am sorry you received the old message that was sent in error.  I already knew that Soranmalvor your Uncle Stanley had passed away.  We were very good friends and I shall miss him.

 I hope the names didn’t confuse you.  My name is Gordon Cartwright and your Uncle Stanley and I used to have a bit of fun with our make-believe names and I (Koolebron) was supposed to reside on the Planet Titantula.  Your Uncle did mention once that he wanted you to inherit his machine and I’m sure that you will respect his wishes regarding the secrets of his old computer.  I have a grandson, Daniel, who is your age and I will ask him to contact you.  He will address you as, Nerosmalvor.

Goodbye,

Koolebron

Jamie watched the flashing message that followed, signalling that Koolebron’s message would be erased in ten seconds.  While Jamie was wondering how a message on his computer could be erased other than by himself, the message disappeared from his screen and Jamie turned his thoughts to the next message he was told to expect.

‘Wow, I’m going to have a cyber pen pal.  I’m not sure about my name though,’ Jamie laughed out loud at the thought.

The email alarm sounded again and Jamie was excited as he prepared to read the incoming message.  Once again he imagined someone with three heads and it was fun going along with this game.  It seemed that Uncle Stanley’s old friend, Gordon Cartwright, wanted his grandson and Jamie to take over the game, at least that’s how it appeared to Jamie. 

There was a short blast of sound that was like a football crowd cheering and then the following message was displayed.

Email Received

Hi ,Nerosmalvor,

This is Soupinpota.

You needn’t worry.  I won’t use your galactic name of Nerosmalvor again, unless you want me to.  You must         have guessed by now that I am not from your world and I hope you won’t find our conversing too strange.

Make sure your speakers and microphone are active and I will make voice contact with you.

Your new friend,

Soupinpota

Jamie already knew that the speakers were active because of the aircraft engine noise that had blurted out when the system was started up and he positioned the old fashioned microphone in front of him.

‘Hi, Jamie.  Can you hear me?

‘Loud and clear, Sopinpot.’

‘Great, but my name is Soupinpota.  The soup in my name is pronounced like soup and it is pota and not pot.  Soup in pota and not Sop in pot.  Shall we use our galactic names like my Granddad used when communicating with your Uncle, or shall we just use our proper names of Jamie and Daniel?’

‘To be honest, I would feel a bit of a diffy using those names and if you and your granddad are from another planet, then my dad’s Bill Gates.  Although I suppose it would be fun using the names sometimes.’

‘I’m disappointed that you doubt my word, earthling.  I take it that diffy is a Liverpool word which I have never heard used in Scarborough where me and my granddad live.  Is it the same as dumbo or muppet?'

‘You are right about the meaning of diffy, but I expect you have some words that I have never heard of and we’ll have to exchange the lingo sometime if you know what I mean.  Before I forget what was that your granddad mentioned about keeping things secret which is what my Uncle Stanley said in a message left for me?’

‘What Koolebron (Granddad) told you about secrecy is true.  We both have very powerful computers, thanks to your Uncle and my Granddad; I think it might be easier to keep calling him Koolebron.  It is important that you don’t reveal its specification to anyone.  I have a similar machine to you and I have had the same instructions about keeping its power a secret.’   

Daniel confirmed that they were a similar age, but Jamie was disappointed to learn that his new friend had no interest in sport.  It soon became obvious to Jamie that Daniel was a bit of a clever clogs, but not boastful.  By the time they signed off Jamie knew that he was going to get on with Daniel, although there was something not quite right about everything connected with his mysterious inheritance.

CHAPTER TEN

Kevin Tranter was trying his hand at gardening when he saw the blue van pull up outside Rufus’s house and two men dressed in dark green overalls get out.  Whatever Rufus was having done to his gas boiler must be costing him a fortune because it was the third time that the van had called since they had moved in three weeks ago.  Kevin gave them a cheery good morning in his usual friendly way and both of the men nodded, the heads moving together as though they had practised the move like members of a synchronised swimming team.  Kevin smiled as he returned to hoeing the weed patch, but he had noted that neither of the men looked like typical gas boiler engineers or whatever they called themselves these days.  The men didn’t look a bundle of laughs either, but maybe Rufus was giving them a hard time. 

Rufus was an odd ball, no doubt about that, but he seemed friendly enough and he had obviously taken a shine to Jamie.  Rufus had put Kevin to shame with his interest in computers and it seemed that he was a real keen surfer.  Kevin had imagined Rufus searching the Internet for information about his treasured cucumbers and runner beans.  Debbie still thought that Rufus was a nosey old so and so and had shifty eyes, but Debbie didn’t really trust anyone she hadn’t known for ages.  She wasn’t rude to Rufus, but she didn’t encourage him to talk for long.

Kevin was stretching himself to help ease the pain and stiffness in his back when Debbie came out of the front door carrying a mug of tea.

‘Time for a break, Dave,’ she said.

‘Very, funny,’ Kevin replied at his wife’s reference to him as Dave, the television gardener.

‘Are you trying to compete with old Rufus?’ she asked with a smile before heading back to the house and didn’t hear Kevin say, ‘Heh up, here he comes with the gas men.’

    ‘Have you been having some trouble, Rufus?’ Kevin asked when his neighbour peered over the hedge after he’d seen the gas van drive away.

    ‘I wasn’t having any trouble until those two messed up my gas boiler.  It was fine, but they told me that there was a problem with the pressure.  They offered to fix it for free, so I let them get on with it, but they’ve been back and forth.  Anyway, they tell me it’s fixed now, so let’s hope I’ve seen the last of them.’

Kevin asked him if he was sure that they were genuine and not checking out his house for a future burglary.

‘Burglary!’ replied Rufus who was clearly surprised by the suggestion. ‘We don’t have such things in these parts, at least not at present, but with all these outsiders coming in it might change.  They seemed genuine enough and showed me their identification cards and you must have seen that they were wearing uniforms.’

Kevin was wondering if Rufus included them as outsiders.

‘I wonder why it only affected your property and how they found out about it if you didn’t report any problems?’  Kevin asked.

Rufus stroked his chin before he replied, ‘I was wondering about that myself and when I asked one of them  he told me that it’s all done by computer monitoring.  It was the same one who seemed more interested in my computer than fixing the gas problem.’

Kevin smiled and asked Rufus if he had anything dodgy on his computer, like pirated software.  Rufus screwed up his face, puzzled by Kevin’s remarks and then asked, ‘What’s pirated software and how could I have anything, what you call dodgy, on my computer?  I don’t download anything illegal if that’s what you mean.’

Kevin was about to ask Rufus what sort of things were illegal or if he had ever hacked into someone’s computer, but decided that he’d teased him enough.

‘Anyway, I think I’ve just about finished here, so I’d better make a start on the back garden.’

 Rufus closed his front door and was taking his shoes off when he heard a call from his mother.

‘What did you say, Mother,’ he asked when he joined her in the living room?’

‘Those workmen have left their tools, which means that they’ll probably come knocking on the door again, disturbing the peace.’

Mother Cranleigh brushed aside the wisps of grey hair that had fallen across her eye before she repeated, ‘Those workmen have left their tools, which means that they’ll probably be back again, so we’ll have to be careful they don’t use it as an excuse to come inside the house again.’

 ‘I’ll leave them by the front door,’ said Rufus, not wanting to have the men back inside the house again.

* * *

The tools that the gas men left behind had been on the doorstep for three days when Rufus decided to telephone the gas people to make arrangements to have them picked up.  It seemed the right thing to do, but he wished he hadn’t bothered.

‘Why were you shouting down the telephone,’ Mother Cranleigh asked when he had replaced the telephone.

‘Because the gas company woman was trying to say that I must have made a mistake.’

‘What sort of mistake?’

‘She asked me if I was sure that it was gas engineers that called here and not men from the electricity company.  I told the stupid woman that they’d arrived in a van with the GAS sign displayed on it.  According to her there was no record of the work being booked on their computer system.’

Rufus calmed down and retrieved the tools from the front step intending to put them in his garden shed.  He was troubled as he recalled the remarks made by the newcomer next door that the men might have been impostors and up to no good.  Well, if any burglars tried breaking in to his house then they’d end up with a sore head.  It would probably be the first time that a man had defended his property with a giant sized cucumber.  Rufus was thinking that it would make a perfect weapon! 

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Jamie had never used a soldering iron before or even seen one until he had rummaged through Uncle Stanley’s tool box, but he was pleased with his effort as he soldered the last component on to the circuit board.  He still wasn’t sure whether his friend Daniel, otherwise known as Soupinpota really was winding him up this time.   It was just as well that he had been sworn to secrecy because they would have carried him off to the funny farm if he’d told anyone what he was trying to do. 

It had all started last week when Daniel had told him about a space action game called, Ultimate Planet Wars.  According to Daniel it was the most exciting computer game that he had ever played and it was just like flying a space craft for real.  The problem was that even Uncle Stanley’s wonder PC couldn’t play it because the program required some more memory.  He had told Jamie that his granddad in Scarborough could have loaded the game onto a communications satellite that he had access to if Jamie could get a military radar dish, but it would have to be mounted on the roof.  Jamie was confident that his dad wouldn’t mind the dish as long as he could receive the satellite sport’s channels, but a radar dish wasn’t the sort of item that you could buy in the Army and Navy surplus stores.  When he’d told Daniel that the dish was a no, no, Daniel had suggested another solution that would allow Jamie to be able to play the game. 

Jamie had been worried that Daniel was going to suggest that he should hack into some company’s mainframe or even a government computer and use their free space.  He was relieved to learn that the idea didn’t involve hacking, but something called natureram.  The first part seemed reasonable enough when Daniel sent him a diagram of an interface with instructions of how to build it.  Jamie didn’t know what the components that he had found in Uncle Stanley’s treasure chest of electronics actually did, but Daniel had just told Jamie to trust him and he had seemed so confident.

Jamie had felt a bit of a Muppet when he’d gone to Jones’s the greengrocer’s and bought a yucca plant.  He wondered if there was any connection between the plant and yuk, the word that came to mind whenever one of his aunties or his mum’s friends kissed him and left a lipstick mark on his cheek, even if he liked them.  Mr Jones had asked him if it was a present for his mum and had given Jamie a surprised look when Jamie told him that it was for himself, because he was interested in horticulture.  Mr Jones had advised him to make sure that it was regularly watered and when he’d told Jamie that some folks claimed that the yucca had secret powers, Jamie had been tempted to reply, ‘I’ll let you know if mine has.’

Jamie carefully trailed the wire from the interface board across the desk and clipped the sensors on the leaves of the Yucca plant that was on the window sill.  As far as his mum and dad were concerned he was testing for moisture changes as part of a school project he had been assigned. His dad had been well impressed and had called Jamie, Prof, a few times since he’d told him about it.

‘I don’t believe I’m doing this,’ Jamie said to himself as he rebooted the machine ready to test if the Yucca plant would provide him with the extra computer memory that he needed.