NO ORDINARY ROOM (11 page)

‘Only Lofty Gibbs.  He didn’t have a lot to do during the trial, but he’s a great keeper.’

‘What about your mate, Jason?’

‘He’s not on the list and he’s still off school.  According to one of his mates the hospital can’t find anything wrong with his voice which went back to normal soon after the match finished.’

‘So, he won’t have to settle for a place in the choir?’ Kevin joked.

‘Dad, that’s cruel,’ Jamie said and he actually felt sorry for Jason.

Jamie had been banned from using his PC for the last few days because he had been spending too much time on it, so he thought he would take advantages of his good news and asked permission to use the PC.  

‘Go on then,’ replied Kevin in response to his request. ‘But not for long.  Hang on a minute I haven’t told you the news about Auntie Helen.’

Jamie gave an inward groan and asked if she coming to pay a visit.

‘No, she isn’t coming to visit.  It seems that your Uncle didn’t get that job he was after, thanks to Auntie Helen.  Uncle Alistair telephoned your mum last night to say that Helen hasn’t been well since their visit to that hotel.  Apparently she made a real show of herself and insulted the Managing Director while speaking in a really broad Liverpool accent.  She called him an ugly little git or something similar and made comments about his wig.’

‘Was she drunk?’ asked Jamie, who wasn’t sorry that his snooty auntie had messed things up.

    ‘According to Alistair she wasn’t until she started swigging wine straight from the bottle while she was dishing out the insults.  The doctor thinks she must have had some kind of a breakdown.  Alistair reckons he might have to look for another job, but they are thinking of, wait for it, emigrating to Australia.  So, we’ve had two lots of good news in one day.’

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The driver of the ice cream van pulled up on the hillside overlooking the Rosser Farm and any thoughts of not attracting attention were shattered when the elderly man knocked on the driver’s door.

‘Ignore the old goat,’ Sligo ordered, from his seat in the control area set up in the back of the specially kitted out Special Intelligence Vehicle 3 (SIV3).

Sligo studied the features of the nuisance on the CCTV screen and his fear that he wouldn’t go away was confirmed when the man rapped again on the side of the vehicle with his walking stick.

‘Don’t you want my business?’ the man shouted.

‘Best open the window and make some excuse,’ rapped Sligo, showing his annoyance that things had got off to a bad start.  If his hunch was right about Kevin Tranter then his long search would soon be over and he was certain that promotion would come his way.  Now that he was operating without the interference of the cautious Brits he would get his man.  Why would a man like Kevin Tranter who had been living in a lively city like Liverpool end up swilling out pigs?  No, Tranter was involved in the secret transmissions and he might have moved the operation to the farm.

‘Holy catfish, the old nuisance only wants an ice-cream,’ said Sligo as he listened in on the conversation between the old man and the driver. 

‘Sorry, old timer, but it’s my day off and I’ve just come here to chill out while watching the lovely view,’ said Scott Valance in a failed attempt at a Devon accent that was unm

istakably an American drawl.

‘It’s disgraceful, enticing people up here with a false promise of an ice cream.  And why are you wearing that white coat if it’s supposed to be your day off?  I wouldn’t be surprised if you are some kind of a peeping tom.’

Scott Valance was struggling with an excuse when the old man wondered off muttering something about him being a ‘typical yank’ and threatening to report him to someone named, Constable Woolley.

Sligo waited five minutes to make sure that the old man had left the area and then ordered his main support man, John T Doolan and rookie Marine, Scott Valance to prepare for their mission.

Sligo was proud that his hard work had finally convinced his superiors to authorise an undercover operation behind the Brit’s back.  As far as Sligo was concerned, Kevin Tranter, codenamed Pigman was connected with the suspicious transmissions that had been filling the ether above Hog’s End Lane.  If the Brits were too dumb or cautious to tackle Tranter then the US would go it alone.  The Brits were nice enough people, but at times they were too polite and too damned democratic for their own good.  No wonder they’d lost an empire and were always in economic trouble
. 
The idiots were always playing by the rules.  Damn, if corporate America played by the rules then the country would be in one heck of a hole.  It was all about the ‘big picture’ and American’s role as the world’s do-gooder.  Swings and roundabouts is what it’s all about.  Okay, so we fight dirty sometimes, but we aren’t the bad guys.  It’s not as though we’re selfish.  No sir, we’re quite happy to encourage our way of life on the rest of the world.  It wouldn’t be fair if only Americans could be big and healthy.  Some folks in Europe and other countries call it a funny name like obese, but it never did us any harm.

Sligo snapped himself out of his patriotic thoughts and watched Valance remove the ice cream man’s white coat to reveal his camouflaged combat uniform.

‘What weapons are we taking with us, sir?’ Doolan asked.

Doolan was from one of roughest areas of New York and had been fascinated by guns ever since he’d owned his first weapon at the age of fifteen when he was a member of a notorious street gang.  He had never fired his gun with any evil intent, but he’d faced going to a prison for a series of petty crimes until he’d been persuaded to join the army to escape a custodial sentence.

Sligo was thoughtful before he eventually answered Doolan’s question, ‘We won’t be taking any weapons, but Valance will have us covered from up here and if necessary he can call in air support.  We’ll try and keep this operation low key, but if there are any problems then we’ll blast that  alien lover to bits and let the diplomatic boys sort things out if they have to. ‘

Valance looked worried. ‘You said alien lover, sir.  I thought the guy down on that farm was just a communist sympathiser.’

Sligo looked uncomfortable, realising that he had let slip some classified information and he tried his best to correct himself without any real success.

‘So, what is he, sir?  I think we ought to know.  If he’s got some support from outer space he might be protected by unconventional weapons.  Valance’s weapon isn’t going to be much use if they put up a force field.’

‘He’s right, sir.’ said Valance. ‘I thought this guy and any supporters he might have are just some political agitators.  I didn’t figure we were tackling men from outer space.  Are they located here because that’s a special landing pad down there in the valley?’

‘Do we even know if that dude who pretends to look after the pigs is really human?’ Doolan asked.

‘Whoa,’ Sligo shouted, ‘What’s with all the questions? Of course he’s human.  I only mentioned aliens because some of our intelligence guys think that the commies are trying to make contact with outer space.  If they succeed they could form an alliance and that would make our satellite surveillance and Star Wars Defence systems vulnerable.’

Doolan frowned. ‘I remember reading somewhere that pigs are extremely intelligent creatures.  Maybe they are using them for special operations.  You know like we use dolphins?’

‘Now that’s a thought,’ Valance said.

‘Let’s cut all the theorising and prepare for the mission,’ Sligo snapped before one of his men suggested that the pigs might be trained in combat. 

 ‘Remember now, we grab the pig man and bring him back up here to interrogate him and then take it from there.  He mustn’t know that we are Americans, so let’s have a last practice at the local accent.  You go first Doolan.’           ‘Right you are, sir.  I’ve been practising real hard.  I think I’ve got the hang of the sonofabitch accent,’ Doolan said in his rapid fire New York accent, coughed and then continued.  ’Good morning, Nigel.  Golly, those are a fine pair of Wellington boots you’re wearing today.  According to the local forecast we should have some heavy rain later and so the cricket match will probably be cancelled and that will be most unfortunate.  It will probably affect the croquet game as well. ’

‘That was real good, Doolan,’ said Valance. ‘I couldn’t understand a word that you said, but that must be because you spoke funny like folks do around these parts.  Do you want me to have my go now, sir?’

Sligo was remembering Valance’s feeble attempt when he had been conversing with the old nuisance earlier and he told Valance that he wouldn’t be involved in the interrogation.  Sligo was confident that he could mimic Slater’s accent when he needed to having spent so much time cooped up with the Brit on surveillance.            

Scott Valance had joined the marines when he was eighteen years old and thanks to his bulk, height and short cropped hair could have passed off as Sligo’s younger brother and he hadn’t expected to see any action when he had been posted to England.  According to Agent Sligo their mission was of great importance and their progress was being followed by the President himself.  He had telephoned his Mom in Crook’s Creek, Arizona last night and wished he could have told her that he had been specially chosen for today’s mission.  Who would have thought that he’d be first person from his home town to be accepted for the marines?  If all went well today he might be in line for a medal and invited to the White House to have it presented and his mom would be so proud.

Valance had lowered the door at the back of the vehicle and continually adjusted the sights of his machine gun while watching Sligo and Doolan slowly walk down the slope towards the farm.  Doolan was a tough cookie, but if things went wrong then this Arizona boy would save the day. Should there be any trouble then he would shoot anything that moved.  He’d learned from his favourite western movies that you didn’t wait for the other guy to go for his gun.  This was the real world and you shoot first.  That was the American way and was why we ruled the world.  Kick butt and kick it first that was his motto.  He was here for the President, for America and for his mom.  Valance swallowed hard and wiped away the tear from his eye.  He saluted the small American flag that he had placed beside him and then positioned a finger on the trigger of the machine gun.

 ‘Bring them on, ‘Valance shouted and then gave a whelping cry that would have been new to any of the resident creatures that might be sleeping, or taking cover nearby.  Valance took a deep breath and then tried to remember his sergeant’s advice and muttered. ‘Cool heads in battle wins wars, or was it fast trigger fingers win wars.’

Kevin was carrying a pitchfork as he directed the pigs out of the sty when he spotted the two men in uniform and he figured that they must be on some sort of training exercise. When the men came closer to him he decided they might not be about to pass the time of day or other pleasantries.  One of them had some sort of stripes on his uniform and he was the one with the biggest scowl on his face which was replaced by a look of terror as he dived to the ground when Kevin waved his pitchfork to greet them.

Kevin thought he heard the man shout. ‘Dive for cover, he’s got a weapon.’

Doolan faltered and it needed a second order from Sligo before he dived and landed alongside a terrified Sligo.

Sligo welcomed the attention of the pigs that were just inches away from him, because they provided some cover from the man they had come to interrogate and perhaps kidnap.  He looked towards the hillside, wondering why Valance hadn’t opened fire on the gun wielding pig man.

 ‘What’s keeping that damn Arizona hillbilly, he should be firing away by now,’ Sligo roared, but then relaxed when he heard the sound of the helicopters.  

‘Now we’ll see some action,’ declared a smug Sligo, but his gloating soon disappeared when he realised that the black helicopters with the strange markings were not like any he had seen before and they weren’t American.

‘Sufferin catfish, lets run for it,’ roared Sligo when he saw the armed troops who had jumped from the helicopter before it touched down and were running towards them.

Doolan was much fitter than Sligo, but they were neck and neck as they ran clear of the farm with Sligo being spurred on by the fear of what he’d seen.  They were some fifty yards from their vehicle when Valance began firing, causing both men to glance behind them.

‘Hell fire,’ shouted Sligo.  There’s a small army of them and there’s a monster animal breathing fire, but Valance will soon ...,’ Sligo was about to say  that Valance would come to their rescue and then he realised that Valance’s bullets were getting closer and closer to them. Valance had just realised that firing in action was a bit different to target practice on the range.

Kevin called out to Benbow, the Rosser’s Border Collie in an effort to stop it chasing the two terrified men and he was surprised when it gave up the chase and came back to him, because it was the first time that the dog had obeyed him.  He was still shaking his head at what had happened during the last few minutes when Pat Rosser called out and asked him what all the fuss was about.  Kevin looked up at the hillside and saw the ice cream van drive away at speed.

‘A couple of soldiers were on some sort of cross-country run when Benbow sent them packing.  I’ve never seen grown men so scared of a dog before and I think they were American.  Then gun fire started, but I don’t know where it came from and then everything went quiet.’

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Valance and Doolan might have passed as strangers judging by their body language as they sat in the waiting room next to the office of General Ellison D Kruger at USAF Base Donninggraw.  It was the first time they had met since their operation at Rosser Farm.  Doolan was bemused, but Valance was looking depressed and thinking about what would happen to him.  What would his mom think when it came out that he had nearly shot his comrades!           Both men had expected Sligo to be here, although Doolan was relieved because he was going to have to dispute Sligo’s version of what had happened, He hadn’t seen any of the things that Sligo had like being threatened with a weapon by the pig man or chased by a weird looking animal and soldiers, nor had he seen any helicopters.