No One's Hero (Chadwell Hearts) (15 page)

Seriously? Kevin and I were back and in bed—separately—by ten. I’m ready to strangle her, but judging by the look on Kevin’s face I won’t have to. If I’d ever taken the time to imagine what a bear would look like if suddenly awoken from hibernation, I think it would have been a close resemblance. “Stephanie,” he says through gritted teeth. “You have five seconds to turn that off and be quiet, or tomorrow, I’ll send a copy of your quiz from yesterday to your parent’s house. You know, the one you got a ‘B’ on?”

Stephanie’s cheeks flush, and for a moment, I think she looks almost afraid. Then her gaze hardens. “You wouldn’t.”

Kevin lays back down and covers up. “Four. Three—”

“Okay! Fine!”

The awful song quiets, and my ears throw a mini party of relief.

“The light too,” Kevin says as I settle back into my mattress and squeeze my eyes closed. Maybe having a bodyguard has its perks.

I swear I’ve only just fallen back to sleep when my own alarm goes off at six. Kevin scoots off his blow-up mattress, and it’s sickening how awake and together he looks, as if he’s fully rested. Maybe he is, but I know I’m freaking not. The only bright spot this morning is that Stephanie is blessedly absent, although her laptop is sitting open on her desk, so she probably hasn’t gone far. I can’t help shaking my head at the screensaver:
Perfect is the only possibility
. I wonder if her head will explode when she learns the truth: Perfect is a pipedream.

My muscles move like they’re covered in sludge as I lace up my new boots. Stifling another yawn, I follow Kevin out of the dorm and down to the parking lot. “About last night, are we okay?” he asks as he holds the door open for me to climb into the SUV.

For what feels like the first time in days, my smile isn’t forced. “Yeah.” I understand Kevin better now, and I think that makes accepting his protection a little easier to swallow. And as for swallowing his blatant rejection, I think I get that too. No matter how much fiery love-hate chemistry there is between us, he’s never going to give into it, so it can never be more. But maybe knowing that will open the doorway to us actually becoming friends.

Behind me, someone calls my name and I turn to look. Tanner is hurrying across the parking lot, with his hands tucked in the front pocket of a large gray hoodie. “Lexi,” he calls again, “I just want to talk for a minute.”

Kevin moves so his body and the door of the truck completely box me in, leaving me to peer around his arm. “She’s got somewhere to be. Get lost.”

“Take it easy, man, I just want to talk to her. I need to apologize, and to explain.”

“To explain what? That you don’t live in her dorm like you led her to believe?”

“That, and—”

“Save it.” I climb into the seat of the SUV and turn my head away so I can’t see him. I was so stupid taking him at his word. Who knows what other lies he would have fed me. For all I know, the other car tailing us last night was his plan all along. Maybe he was going to take me somewhere and turn me over to Nick’s people.

Or maybe I’m just crazy, and I’m concocting insane conspiracy theories. Either way, I don’t plan to be taken for a fool.

“It seems she doesn’t want to talk to you. Get out of here, and stay away from her.” There’s a low growl resonating from Kevin’s chest as he speaks, and I have to force myself not to turn and see if it sends Tanner scurrying. It must, because a moment later, Kevin is climbing into the driver’s seat. “You okay?” His voice softens.

Am I? My entire body trembles for a moment before I get it under control. I can see with sudden clarity that I’ve completely underestimated just how much potential danger I’m in here. Trusting anyone is a risk. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Hey, don’t worry. I swear to you Lexi, I will keep you safe. And don’t think that this means you can’t trust anyone—I see it in your eyes—you just have to play it smart, and give me a chance to vet them before you trust them. I’m good at what I do.”

“I know you are, and I’m glad
you
know that.”

Kevin tilts his head questioningly as he puts the SUV in drive.

“I just mean that some people might have their confidence shaken after what happened with Nuri. I’m glad you still realize how good you are.”

As soon as I mention her name, Kevin’s entire posture stiffens. “It did shake me, enough that I ended up being discharged early. I didn’t feel like my unit could trust me anymore to make the right calls, and I didn’t trust myself. I was unpredictable, a loose cannon. But I’ve had time to process, and despite the fact that I constantly second guess myself, I do know that I’m good at this. When you’ve lost everything, you realize just how important life is. That’s a supreme motivator.”

I don’t even know how to respond to that, so I don’t. An uncomfortable silence settles around us. It suddenly occurs to me that I’ve been sharing a room with the man for nearly a week, and yet I don’t know much about him. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“What do you like? I mean like, what do you like to do when you aren’t working?”

He sort of chuckles. “If I had it my way, I’d always be working. Less time to think that way. It keeps the ghosts away.”

“Well what did you used to do, before?”

Kevin dips his head and rubs his hand along the back of his neck. It’s a motion I’ve seen him make before, and it seems to come out when he’s nervous. Right now, he looks almost bashful. Finally, he looks right at me. “Photography. I used to love to take photos.”

“Do you still?”

He turns away, staring out his window. “I take photos for cases, but it’s not the same. Now, like everything else, it’s just work.”

“How come you stopped?”

“Because it’s hard to see the beauty in the ordinary anymore. Now, no matter where I look, I can’t help seeing the darkness. I don’t really want to immortalize that, you know?”

My heart breaks for him. Although, in an odd sort of way, I can understand. My world has felt lifeless for as long as I can remember, strangled by the thought of never being enough. The difference between Kevin and I is that I’m determined to change it, so I snatch at every moment where I can feel alive. But Kevin’s given himself over to the darkness, and he’s drowning in murky waters of regret.

“Do you want to come in with me?” I ask when we reach the equestrian center. I’m going to try to make it a point to be more open to his presence. “There’s an observation deck. I think you could go up there while I ride.”

If Kevin notices my changed attitude, he doesn’t comment. He silently follows me into the barn, shooting wary glances at the horses who poke their heads out of their stalls as we pass.

I hear Madison before I see her. She’s cussing up a storm about God knows what, although I’m sure I’m about to find out because it sounds like she’s headed our way. I put my saddle on the saddle tree outside Vandal’s stall and brace myself.

Madison flies down the barn aisle, eyelashes and hair fluttering. She manages to look like both a blonde Scarlett O’Hara and Bimbo-Bitch Barbie all at once. Her thin nose is upturned indignantly. “You!” She practically spits as she jams her finger into my chest and I have to resist the urge to wipe my face just in case.

“Me?” I flutter my own lashes and clutch at my chest. “Why, I do declare, I shall never use my own name again.”

Madison momentarily pauses, while Kevin chuckles beside me. “Huh?”

My Scarlett impression must not have been as good as I thought. I really can’t help myself, something about spoiled southern princesses and conflict brings out my sarcastic side. “What’s the matter now, Madison? Did I mistakenly breathe your air again?”

“No, worse!”

She obviously didn’t get the joke.

“Look!” Madison triumphantly holds a girth out for my inspection and my stomach churns. It doesn’t matter how much I dislike her, she—or her horse—could have been seriously hurt. A few inches below the buckles, her girth has been cut halfway through the elastic. Had she saddled up without paying attention, it might have held for a brief amount of time, but a fall would have been inevitable.

“Madison, I didn’t do that. I wouldn’t.”

“Oh please, like I’m going to believe you.”

Mrs. Blessing, most likely drawn by the commotion, walks over and stands between me and Madison. “What’s the problem here?”

“Lexi is still mad that I claimed
my
locker, and thinks it is hers. I put my saddle on the rack beneath it, and she cut the girth.”

Mrs. Blessing cocks her head in my direction. “Is this true, Alexis?”

“No, Ma’am. I don’t care if she keeps the locker she wants, and I certainly didn’t cut her girth.”

“She’s lying. Look.” Madison points to the Velcro that holds the excess straps, where a few blonde hairs are stuck. They could just as easily be hers as mine, although if I’m being honest, they are a bit too dark to be hers. Regardless, I
know
they aren’t mine.

“Madison, you cannot just make baseless accusations. Those hairs don’t prove anything. So unless you saw her do it, I don’t want to hear another word of this. But let me remind the both of you that stunts like that could get someone kicked out of our program, so I highly suggest you two set aside whatever this mess is between you and focus on what you’re here to do: learn.”

“Was that as serious as I think it was?” Kevin asks after Mrs. Blessing and a still-huffing Madison march away.

I bite my lip, trying to settle my nerves. “Yeah, yeah it was. Either someone seriously wanted to hurt her, or they seriously wanted to frame me. Either way, someone is up to no good.” My stomach flip-flops just thinking about it.

“Could someone have mistaken the girth as yours?”

“It’s possible. The girths actually belong to the school, because each horse uses a different size. We keep them with our stuff because we’re each responsible for maintaining them, just like our assigned mount’s bridles. But it could have happened at any time, and it does still say my name above the locker she claimed.”

“Check your stuff.”

I nod, then go over every inch of my saddle, girth, and Vandal’s bridle. There’s no sign of damage or wear. At least not this time. But from now on, I’m going to have to be extra cautious. I came to college hoping to make friends, but so far, all I’ve gained are enemies. As if I didn’t already have enough of those.

—-♥—-

K
evin

I make my living watching people, but I’m not used to doing it so openly. The observation deck on the second floor of the equestrian center is obviously designed to cater to the wealthy parents who send their darlings here. Comfortable chairs offer ample seating overlooking the arena below through an entire wall that’s made of one-way glass. While I can see Lexi below, she can’t see me. I can only assume that was done to make sure the riders aren’t made nervous by spectators, but if they want to compete, don’t they have to be used to people watching them?

Maybe it’s so that parents can’t distract the students by calling out instructions and interrupting class time. Either way, I’m enjoying the chance to watch her so blatantly. Although I’m not enjoying what I see. It’s not that Lexi isn’t graceful and amazing, it’s just that she’s off. I don’t know whether it’s nerves, anger, or exhaustion, but she’s visibly rattled. Strain mars the beautiful lines of her face. The corners of her lips are turned down, as if someone tied weights to them, and no matter how much she struggles, she just can’t smile. Her eyes are missing their spark; instead they’ve become flat steel. Unyielding, but also unalive. I think it’s her sheer determination that’s keeping her on that gray horse’s back. On one hand, I think she’s finally realizing how serious the threat against her is. Between being followed last night and the tampered equipment today, that point’s been driven home. And the more she realizes she needs my protection, the more pliable and agreeable she is to me doing what I need to do. I can’t say I miss her fighting me at every step. But I do miss seeing that fight, that fire in her eyes. The more afraid she becomes, the more her wings are clipped.

I’m severely tempted to thrust my fist through the glass, the fury that comes over me is that all consuming and sudden. That bastard Nick is winning without even touching her.

I can’t hear what is being said below, but the instructor is saying something to Lexi, and it only seems to make things worse. Her shoulders are hunched over and she’s actually grimacing. The instructor continues to talk to her, and slowly, Lexi seems to relax. Her back develops a graceful arch, her hands soften, and her heels sink deep in the saddle. I don’t know what that teacher said, but she’s obviously getting through to at least one of her students. Rather than seeming to be at war, Lexi and her horse now look like extensions of each other, and I almost wish I had my camera.

I pull my phone from my pocket and snap a picture as they come diagonally across the ring, the horse’s legs stretching long and landing with springy steps, as if she’s dancing. My notification light is blinking, telling me I’ve got a missed call.

I don’t recognize the number, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary. I get unknown calls all the time from prospective clients, law enforcement, and others in the industry. The area code gives me pause though, because I recognize it as coming from near Camp Pendleton, where I used to be stationed. My finger hovers over the call back button, my attention stolen by Lexi as she guides her horse around the ring. Whatever emotions were wrecking her performance earlier have obviously been shrugged off, because even to my untrained eye, the way she’s riding now is absolutely beautiful and I cannot tear my eyes away from her.

Her body is lithe, supple, lean, and watching her move is intoxicating. My chest tightens with a strange mixture of pride and longing. She looks so regal right now, I can’t help noticing that she isn’t as young as she sometimes seems. I’ve been trying so hard not to think of our kiss last night, but now the memory of her lips beneath mine comes crashing back. She rides to the far end of the arena and I’m finally able to shake free of her spell and turn my attention back to my phone.