No One But You (5 page)

“Did you find anything interesting when you were in Austin?” George asked Sarah during a lull in the conversation.

“I don't know much, but I do know I don't like the Reconstruction. They tried to tell me I owed a lot more taxes than I did.”

Monty's laugh was angry. “They did the same to us, but Rose sent them packing.”

“What did you do about the taxes?” Rose asked Sarah.

“I told them they'd have to see the president of the bank because he held the mortgage. They never bothered me after that.”

“That was right clever,” Salty said.

“Of course she's clever,” Rose said. “She's a woman.”

That got a good-natured laugh from everybody, as well as a slighting remark from Monty and a spirited rebuttal from Zac.

“I knew you'd defend Rose,” Monty said, teasing, “because she spoils you.”

“She'd spoil you too, if you weren't so mean.”

That generated another round of mirth.

The talk turned general with all the brothers except Tyler taking a part. It wasn't hard to see that though there were many sharp edges in the brothers' relationships, they were bound by a love that enabled them to look beyond their differences. Sarah had never known it was possible for men to do that. If her father and husband had been like any of these men, her life would have been immeasurably different. She was still thinking of that when Rose announced she was tired and was going to bed.

“We haven't had our doughnuts,” Zac reminded her.

“You don't need me to eat doughnuts, do you?” she asked the boy.

“You have to eat
your
doughnuts.”

“I think I'll save mine.”

“If you don't eat them now, Monty will get them.”

“Tell on me, will you?” Monty grabbed for Zac, but knowing where to find the safest place in the room, the boy had already ducked behind Rose.

“Salty, will you get the doughnuts from the kitchen?” Rose asked. “I wouldn't trust Zac or Monty not to eat half of them before they got back. Jared will show you where I put them.”

Sarah's heart jumped into her throat. Her gaze flew to Jared, who looked stricken. Why would Rose do something that would expose Jared's weakness to everybody in the room? She was about to make an objection when Salty got up, went over to Jared, and held out his hand.

“Let me help you up.”

Sarah held her breath when Jared reached for Salty's outstretched hand. Taking a firm grasp, Salty pulled her son out of the chair and to his feet. Once Jared had his balance, Salty picked him up. Sarah couldn't decide whether she was still angry or whether she was so relieved to see that no one seemed to pay any attention. She had always tried not to draw attention to Jared's leg, while keeping him busy with the things he could do. The Randolphs had apparently done the same with Jeff's arm. She wondered if he rode a horse or was limited to a buckboard. He didn't have the look of a man who avoided hard work. She wondered how he did it. Maybe Salty would tell her.

She was reassured a moment later to see Salty and Jared return. More important, he had a look of happiness on his face. Salty allowed Jared to settle back in his chair before handing him the tin.

“Jared is going to parcel out the doughnuts,” Rose said. “He has my permission to penalize anyone who tries to take more than two.”

“You'd better watch Monty,” Zac warned. “He likes doughnuts better than girls.”

“I don't like anything better than girls,” Monty said, “but Ellen is too young and I'm afraid of her mother.”

Sarah raised an eyebrow, but Monty only winked at her.

Zac jumped in front of everyone else, but the brothers kept picking him up and passing him back to the next person in line. Even Jeff entered into the fun. Zac made it known that he thought it was unfair that he was the last one to get his doughnuts, but when he looked in the tin and found there were only three left for him and Jared, his attitude changed. He took one doughnut, broke a second and handed half to Jared.

“I don't mind sharing.” He cast an evil glance at his brothers. “The littlest kid never gets treated fair.”

That brought an outcry from his brothers who promptly offered him part of their doughnuts. Zac ended up with twice what anybody else got, but he was generous enough to share his bounty with Jared. And Jared was greedy enough to accept.

Watching the whole exchange brought tears to Sarah's eyes. She had never imagined families could be like this. There were differences of temperament and inequities all around, but their love for each other bound them together. She didn't know how she was going to do it, but that's what she wanted for her children.

“Is anything wrong?”

Sarah had forgotten that Salty had been watching her closely since she and Walter entered the parlor. She wiped away a tear. “No. I'm just a bit emotional. I don't think I realized how tired I am.”

“Then you'll go straight to bed,” Rose said. “If your children want to stay up a little longer, I'll make sure they get to bed.”

“I couldn't ask you to do that.”

“It's no problem. Jared is going to share a bed with Zac. I'm putting Ellen in the room I'm saving for the baby.”

“Whose bed am I taking?”

“I offered up mine, ma'am,” Monty said. “I don't mind sleeping in the bunkhouse. That way I don't have to listen to Hen snore.”

“Hen doesn't snore,” Zac said, “but you do.”

This time Monty caught Zac before he could take refuge behind Rose or George. Monty tickled him—Zac shrieking he was going to pee in his pants—until Rose asked him to stop.

“Next time I'll catch you when neither Rose nor George is around,” Monty threatened.

“I'll hide in the henhouse.”

“Behave,” Rose said. “What will Sarah think of you?”

“Just that I wish I'd had brothers like them.”

Much to Sarah's surprise, that embarrassed the men so much they scrambled to get ready to leave.

“Men don't handle emotion well,” Rose explained to Sarah as she was showing her to her room. “They show their affection for each other by verbal abuse and wrestling. Don't ask me to explain it. Men are strange creatures, my men probably strangest of all.”

“I hate to force Monty to sleep in the bunkhouse.”

“You're giving him a treat,” Rose said with a laugh. “Living inside and having to wash and watch what he says is a severe trial to him. If I didn't keep his room straight, you wouldn't be able to get past the door.”

The room Sarah entered was too Spartan for her taste, but it was clean and neat. There was nothing on the walls, and the only furniture was a plain bed, a plain wardrobe, a small table, and a single chair. The only object out of place in the room was her own small valise.

“Monty insisted on minimal furnishings. I saw no reason not to indulge him. I'll have one of the boys bring up a pitcher and basin. Monty prefers to use the pump outside.”

“You don't have to bother.”

Rose grinned. “It's no bother. I'll have Tyler do it. What's the use of doing for eight men if you have to run your own errands?”

After Rose left, Sarah set the small kerosene lamp on the table. Since she had to wait until Tyler brought the water to begin undressing, she crossed to the window and looked out. The sky was clear except for a few small clouds that rolled slowly from west to east. A three-quarters moon provided enough light to make out the dark hulk of the bunkhouse. It seemed like an unlikely place for a man to prefer to a room in his own house. She wondered if Salty preferred it.

She turned away from the window. Why was she thinking about Salty when she should be thinking about Walter? He filled every one of her requirements as well has having none of the disadvantages. By asking him to meet with her, George and Rose had vouched for his character. She should be relieved and grateful rather than trying to find an explanation for this increasingly strong feeling she was making a mistake. She had found exactly the kind of man she was looking for, and he seemed interested in accepting her offer.

She dropped down on the bed with a grunt of disgust. In actuality, she didn't have to look far for the source of her disquiet, her dissatisfaction, her inability to focus her thoughts on Walter; her attraction to Salty was so strong it had thrown her thinking out of balance.

Sarah got to her feet, determined to put Salty out of her mind. She picked up her valise, placed it on the bed, and opened it. There wasn't much inside beyond her night clothes. Neither she nor the children had more than three complete changes of clothes—two for work and one for company. Everything else had been worn out by hard use and frequent washing.

She was relieved to hear a knock. She opened the door to find Tyler standing there with the promised water and basin which he held out to her. When she took them, he turned and left without speaking. An odd boy, made even more unusual by being so tall and thin.

It didn't take long to wash and put on her night clothes. After putting out the lamp, she let her body sink into the mattress with a sigh of pleasure. She couldn't understand why Monty would prefer the bunkhouse to this bed. It was so soft she was sure she would oversleep if she didn't leave the curtain open for the morning sun to wake her.

Grateful for the barrier against the night cold, Sarah pulled the thick quilt up to her chin. She was afraid she would lie awake fretting over her fascination with Salty, but once her body heat had warmed the bed, she sank blissfully into a deep sleep.

She was mortified to find that everyone was up by the time she got dressed and down to the kitchen. “Why didn't you wake me?” she asked Ellen who was busy cutting out biscuits, something she never did at home.

“Mrs. Randolph said to let you sleep.”

Jared looked up from where he was cracking eggs into a large bowl. “Mrs. Randolph said with all of us helping, you'd only be in the way.”

Zac was cutting sausage while Tyler was grinding coffee. The aroma of roasted beans that filled the room brought back memories of Sarah's mother's kitchen when she was a little girl. But rather than the atmosphere of cheerful industry that filled Rose's kitchen, Sarah remembered an urgency to get the meal prepared quickly, the fear her father would find something wrong with it.

“I could set the table.”

“That's my job,” Zac said without looking up from his work.

“Put food in bowls and carry them to the table.”

“I do that.” Tyler sounded as protective of his job as Zac.

“You can cook the eggs as soon as Jared is finished cracking them,” Rose said. “I have to fry the rest of the sausage and keep an eye on the apples to make sure they don't burn.”

Not to mention what looked like a pot of grits and a pan of beef and gravy. Sarah had never seen so much food, nor had she ever had to cook about two dozen eggs. Even after dividing them into two batches, it felt more like she was stirring a pot of soup. When the first pan was done, she turned to ask for a platter only to find Tyler had already placed one at her elbow. By the time she finished the second batch of eggs, the first biscuits were out of the oven and the rest of the food was on the table.

The men, who'd apparently been waiting to be called, came in talking and laughing. In a matter of moments everyone was seated, every platter or bowl had been passed around the table, and hot biscuits were dripping with butter or wrapped around a sausage. The sound of talk and laughter had been replaced by that of spoons in bowls, forks scraping plates, and of sugar and/or cream being stirred into cups of hot coffee.

“I hope you aren't bothered by the quiet,” Rose said to Sarah. “To a cowboy, nothing is more important than eating.”

“I'm not bothered at all,” Sarah replied. “I'm used to it.” Her father had never allowed conversation when he was eating, and Roger had been interested only in his own opinions.

The quiet ended as soon as everyone was through with their first servings. Sarah was intrigued to note that while everything had been passed only to the right when the meal started, bowls and platters were passed the quickest way when it came to seconds. Or thirds. Monty seemed to have a hollow leg.

As soon as their appetites were satisfied, the men turned back to their conversations over coffee. George parceled out the duties for the day. He listened to suggestions or objections and made a few changes. Once the work assignments were settled, the men swallowed the last of their coffee and left as a group.

“What can we do to help clean up?” Sarah asked Rose.

Rose surveyed the kitchen. “Zac can hand the plates to Jared. Once he's scraped them, Ellen can stack them on the counter.”

“I can wash the dishes if Tyler will dry while you put away the food,” Sarah suggested.

“Ellen can help Zac put the food away. Meanwhile, I'll set Jared to shelling some dried peas for supper.”

It was impossible to have six people in a kitchen without getting in each other's way from time to time, but everything was washed, dried, and put away in a short period of time.

“Now it's my turn to relax with a cup of coffee,” Rose said to Sarah. “Want to join me?”

Sarah would have liked nothing better, but that would keep Rose from the nap she'd promised George she would take.

“There's nothing much to do until it's time to fix supper. Until I have this baby, the men have to clean their own rooms. The twins stay home on the day I do the washing, and Zac and Tyler do everything else before they can join their brothers. George will help any time I ask.”

“That's all the more reason I shouldn't be causing you extra work,” Sarah said.

“Pshaw,” Rose said. “When you have to cook for ten, three additional mouths don't make much difference. Besides, it's worth it to have a woman to talk to. Do you know what it's like to be confined to a ranch with only men for months at a time? George and his brothers do their best, but they understand their cows better than they understand women.”

From what Sarah had seen, she'd have traded any one of them for her husband. “I think you're fortunate.”

“Oh, I know that,” Rose said, “but I can't let them know it. I wouldn't get half as much work out of them.”

Sarah had seen enough to know it was love rather than guilt that caused the men to help Rose. She felt guilty for being jealous that Rose had something in such abundance that she'd never had at all.

“Now stop worrying. Tyler is taking Ellen to see the horses, and Zac has offered to show Jared around the ranch in his pony cart.”

Sarah gave in. “You sit and I'll get the coffee. I'm as starved for female conversation as you. A seven-year-old girl is no substitute.”

For the next hour Sarah talked about things she hadn't talked about in years, and over the course of that time their conversations moved from the general to the particulars of having a baby. It eased some of Sarah's burden of guilt that she could, in a small way, step into the role of the sister or cousin Rose didn't have.

Once they'd exhausted the subjects of childbirth, breast feeding, teething, and the best time to start toilet training, Rose asked Sarah, “Have you decided which man to choose?”

The abruptness of the question caught Sarah by surprise. “Yes, I have.”

“But you're not happy about it?”

By now she shouldn't be surprised by Rose's powers of perception. “No, I'm not, but I'm just acting silly.”

“Does that mean your brain and heart aren't in agreement?”

“How did you know?”

“It's a situation every woman finds herself in sooner or later. Men figure out the most practical solution and they're happy. We women want to go with our hearts first and hope the practical follows along.”

“And if it doesn't?”

“I can't answer that.”

“What did you do when you married George?”

“I followed my heart, but I took the job of housekeeper because I didn't have another choice.”

Sarah was getting married because she didn't have any other choice. For that reason she had to be very careful when she chose the man to marry. She would be handing over a lot of legal rights she was depending on him not to exercise.

Rose lifted her bulk from her chair. “It's time I took my promised nap. George is going to want to know how long I slept. Why don't you take a nap, too?”

“I'm too keyed up.”

“Then take a walk. If you'd like to ride, Tyler will saddle a horse for you and show you around.”

“I don't want to get in the way.”

“You won't. We don't get many visitors out here so we like to enjoy the ones we have.”

“You've been more than generous.”

“Nonsense. You saved me a trip to Austin to restore my sanity.”

After Rose left the kitchen, Sarah washed the cups and rinsed the coffeepot. Once she had looked around to make sure there was nothing else she could do, she decided to follow Rose's suggestion that she take a walk. She'd spent her whole life on her father's ranch, but she still felt she didn't know enough about running one. Maybe she could learn something here that would help her turn the corner. Even a small advantage could be crucial to their survival.

The weather had changed overnight and the day was clear and bright with only a mild breeze. It was one of those refreshing days when the sun was warm, and the air was crisp, when it felt good to be alive. Standing on the front porch, she let her gaze sweep over the land from the packed dirt that formed the yard to the hills that met the distant horizon. Seeing the land lie quiet before the burst of cosmic energy that would bring it to life in a few weeks, it didn't look like a place that would harbor hostile Indians or Cortina's raiders. It appeared far too welcoming to conceal poisonous snakes, nearly impenetrable thickets of bushes and vines armed with vicious thorns, or arid soil that refused to support the nourishing grass her cows needed or the fruits and vegetables her family needed.

Shutting out the dispiriting images, she walked down the steps and turned toward the barn. She was less than halfway there when Salty came out. She had thought her attraction to him was something she could easily overcome, but this morning it hit her with numbing force. She stopped, hoping he wouldn't see her, but there was nothing to conceal her from his view. When he waved, her arm didn't wait for a conscious command before giving an answering wave. She started forward, dragging her feet, because each step increased the attraction she was trying to forget.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked when she drew near.