No One But You (4 page)

Salty left the room before she could say anything else. He had lost his chance. He practically ran down the front steps and was halfway to the bunkhouse before he could take his first full breath. He hadn't realized he was so tense. Sarah's proposal had taken him by surprise. He'd thought he'd accepted that he wasn't going to have the kind of land he wanted where he wanted it. He'd thought he was even looking forward to working for George. The brothers were a difficult and restless bunch, but he liked all of them, even Jeff. Sarah's offer of half her ranch had knocked over his carefully pieced together acceptance of what the future held for him because he wanted a chance to earn that land.

He knew the chance she was offering would mean years of backbreaking work. He was certain there would be times when he questioned his sanity in being married to a woman he found attractive but couldn't touch. There were already nights when need racked his body so hard he couldn't sleep, and being close to a woman like Sarah would intensify it several times over. Why should he set himself up for that kind of torture?

Because of the land, the chance to own something of his own.

He entered the bunkhouse and headed for the corner that had been his home since the last board was nailed in place a few months earlier. He'd thought he could be happy here, would be content to have his own bed, a place for all his belongings, and some wall to decorate if he wished. No more sleeping out in all kinds of weather. No more eating meals cooked over a campfire. He was working for a family he liked and a man he admired. What more could a penniless ex-soldier want?

He plopped down on his bed. It would take very little to make him happy. First was a place of his own. Next would be friends. He really didn't need anything after that. He knew what kind of responsibility a wife and family would be. If things had been different, he might have thought differently, but they weren't so there was no point in thinking about it.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bunkhouse door opening.

Walter Swain came in shivering and rubbing his hands together. “I was hoping you'd have a fire going. That wind is as sharp as a knife.”

“No point in heating the bunkhouse when George will probably ask us to hang around after supper.”

“I hope so.” Walter walked to his bunk to take off his heavy coat and hang it up. “I get a chuckle out of some of the things Zac says.”

Walter Swain, a forty-seven-year-old widower with two grown children, was a big, burly man who was as strong as an ox and as easygoing as a summer breeze. He never complained. He could work from dawn to dusk and get up the next day and do it again. He would work as hard as he must to make Sarah's ranch successful, would probably grow to be fond of her children, and was the kind of man who would be respected in any community. He didn't drink, saved his money, and never seemed to feel the loss of female companionship. He would become so much a part of her family she'd probably never ask him for a divorce. He'd be a friend and companion, a partner and confidant, but he'd never be the kind of husband a woman like Sarah deserved.

Of course, Sarah didn't want a husband. She wanted a friend and companion. She wanted a partner and confidant. Salty could be all of those, but he wouldn't get the chance because Sarah was attracted to him. It didn't seem fair that something which should have brought him pride would make him unhappy.

He had to figure out how to talk Sarah into changing her mind. She was too young to turn herself into a middle-aged woman, which was what marrying Walter would do. He didn't want her need for security to cut her off from being open to finding a man she could love and want to marry.

“Whose horse and wagon is that I saw in the barn?” Walter asked.

“A war widow and her two kids,” Salty said. “I expect you'll meet them at supper.”

“Any particular reason why she stopped here?” Walter pulled off his boots to put on the shoes he would wear up to the house.

“She's looking to hire someone to help her on her ranch.”

“This is cow country.”

“I expect she has cows, too.”

“Why has she come here instead of Austin or San Antonio?”

“You'd better let her tell you that. I just met her myself.”

“I'll look forward to meeting her. Maybe she'll have some news.”

Walter didn't ask if the widow was young or pretty. That's why he would be perfect for her.

* * *

Sarah had remained in her chair after Salty left, more shaken than she cared to admit. She had never had any trouble telling a potential hand that he didn't fit her needs. Nor had she had any trouble replacing them when they failed to do their job. So why did she feel bad about telling Salty he wasn't what she was looking for?

Okay, so she found him attractive. It wasn't like he was so handsome she'd dream about him tonight. She probably found him attractive because he seemed very nice, had a sense of humor, and had been kind to Jared and Ellen. She was, however, annoyed at him for thinking she'd treated Jared like an invalid while forcing Ellen to do the work usually expected of a boy. She'd done everything she could to treat her children normally, but her situation wasn't normal. There was no sense in taking herself to task over Salty's disappointment. If he was as hardworking and dependable as Rose said, he'd find a way to own his own land.

Rather than give herself an opportunity to continue to think about Salty, she left the parlor and headed for the kitchen. The voices coming through the open doorway made it easy to find. She paused in the doorway. Jared was sitting on a stool next to Rose. Ellen was on her other side, as interested as her brother in what Rose was doing.

“I don't usually do this,” Rose was saying, “but you're company so I have an excuse.”

“Don't people like them?” Jared asked.

“They like them too much. If Zac had his way, I'd never cook anything else.”

“It sounds fascinating,” Sarah said, entering the kitchen. “Who's Zac, and why wouldn't he want you to cook anything else?”

“She's making doughnuts,” Ellen said, turning to her mother with a big smile. “She said she'd teach me how if I wanted.”

“Zac is my husband's youngest brother,” Rose told Sarah. “He's the same age as your children and spoiled beyond redemption.”

Ellen and Jared were cutting the holes out of doughnuts and handing the dough back to Rose.

“You can see why I don't do this often,” Rose said. “George has five brothers and we have three hands just now. With the three of you, that makes twelve. At two doughnuts each, that's two dozen.”

“You have that many already,” Sarah pointed out.

“They'll want a couple more before they go to bed. They'd eat a dozen apiece if I'd let them.”

Sarah felt a pang that she'd never made doughnuts with her children, but there had been no time or money for anything as frivolous as that. Over the next half hour, Sarah helped Rose cook the doughnuts in a pot of boiling fat. As soon as the doughnuts were laid out to cool, Jared and Ellen sprinkled them with sugar. When they were done, the children counted forty-two.

“I think that's enough for one day,” Rose said, surveying their work. “Now we have to put them in a tin before Zac and Tyler come in to help me with supper. Jared, I'm going to put you in charge of the tin. You're not to let Zac or any of the others have a doughnut until after supper. Would you do that for me?”

“How am I supposed to stop them?”

Rose handed over a large wooden spoon. “Give them a whack with this. That ought to slow them down.”

Jared looked at the spoon like it was a rattlesnake.

Rose pressed it into his hand. “I haven't been able to figure out how to keep Zac and Tyler from stealing sweets,” she said. “Zac has mastered the art of putting a whole cookie in his mouth and still being able to talk. I tell him he's got pouches in his cheeks like a squirrel.”

Sarah couldn't imagine having a child behave like that. She had done exactly what she was told as a child. On the few occasions she hadn't, the punishment had been quick and harsh. Her own children had never required punishment. Jared wasn't able to get in trouble, and Ellen never thought of anything except helping take care of her brother and helping with the ranch in any way she was able.

“It's time to think about fixing supper,” Rose said. “I wonder where the boys are.”

“I'll be glad to help,” Sarah offered.

“You're company.”

“Company that wasn't invited. I insist on helping.”

“I'm not sure I could get anything done with that many people in the kitchen.”

“Let Zac and Tyler have the day off.”

“If I did that, they'd be wanting a day off all the time. You don't know what it's like having to deal with six Randolph men. You can't give them an inch.”

Sarah didn't know quite how to take Rose's remarks. She doubted Rose was one to suffer mistreatment. Besides, she'd made her complaints with humor instead of rancor.

A commotion caught her attention, and she turned just in time to see a handsome but disheveled urchin burst into the kitchen. “I smell doughnuts,” he announced. His gaze swept the room looking for the source of the tantalizing aroma.

“Rose said she was never making doughnuts again after you stole so many last time.” This from a tall, skinny boy who entered on the first one's heels.

“I smell them,” the boy said. “I know they're here.”

“They're in this tin,” Jared announced, much to Sarah's surprise. “Rose said I'm to whack you with this spoon if you try to steal one.”

The boy turned his full attention on Jared. “I don't know who the hell you are, but get ready to die.”

Rose took the boy by the ear. “This impudent rascal is Zac,” she said to Jared. “Pay no attention to him. His bark is worse than his bite.”

“I don't bark and I don't bite,” Zac announced as he wiggled free. “I just shoot people.”

“Go get the wood,” Rose said, pointing to a box in the corner, “or I'll give your doughnuts to Monty.”

“You can't,” Zac protested. “He'd eat 'em.”

“Then you'd better hurry with that wood. The sooner I fix supper, the sooner you'll get your doughnuts. The tall one who's going for water is Tyler,” Rose said to Sarah. The boys had left as quickly as they'd entered. “You've probably heard the only words he'll speak all evening.”

Sarah had never been allowed to run outside much less inside the house. She'd had to keep her voice low and speak only when addressed. She had no idea what her mother would have done with a boy like Zac. Her father would have broken an endless string of sticks on his back until he'd broken his spirit. It was clear no one had broken Zac's, though he obeyed Rose without question.

“I really would like to help,” Sarah said.

“Okay,” Rose said, relenting. “I'll tell you what I'm planning to fix, and we can divide the dishes between us.”

The next hour was unlike anything Sarah had ever experienced. It was soon obvious that Rose knew what every person in the kitchen was doing even though she never seemed to take her eyes off her own work. She kept Zac and Tyler busy fetching and carrying, setting the table and filling glasses with milk or water, and setting out cups for coffee. Tyler made the coffee while Zac brought out bowls and laid out serving spoons. The whole time he kept an eye on Jared and the tin containing the doughnuts. Once everything was done and on the table, Rose told Zac, “Tell everybody it's time to eat.”

Remembering how the two boys had entered the kitchen, Sarah was prepared for a stampede, but seven men entered quietly and waited for Rose to explain the new seating arrangement. Sarah could tell the men had washed, combed their hair, and put on fresh shirts. It was a revelation. These men were so different from her father and husband. Could she come to like a man like that?

She put that question out of her mind. She'd already decided against Salty.

Rose introduced everyone at the table. It was hard to take her eyes off the twins—they were as striking in their similarity as in their differences—but she forced herself to concentrate on Walter Swain. She eliminated George's other cowhand because he was even younger than Salty.

As the meal progressed, she was more and more favorably impressed by Walter. He was open, genial, and apparently well-liked. His looks were average, but she wasn't looking for an attractive candidate. She was impressed that he didn't give her any more attention than he would any other stranger he was meeting for the first time. His enjoyment of Zac's high spirits led her to believe he might become a good father figure for Jared and Ellen. He wasn't as tall as Salty, but he was solid and well-built. He looked like a man who could hold up under the hard work necessary to save her ranch.

She was aware that Rose and George had noticed the direction of her gaze. George surely couldn't like the idea that she was hoping to take away his best and most dependable man. Still, she hadn't seen any indication that he was angry or upset over her proposal.

“Why doesn't everyone move to the parlor while the twins clean up?” Rose said when the doughnuts had been eaten and everyone started to leave the table. Zac was out of his seat before the last word left her mouth. “There are more doughnuts for everybody, so no sneaking off to the bunkhouse. Walter, Mrs. Winborne has a proposal that might interest you. Why don't you show her into George's office and let her tell you about it?”

Even though Sarah had been trying to think of a way to speak to Walter, Rose's suggestion took her by surprise. She didn't know why she should have looked at Salty at that moment. She turned away just as quickly, but not before she read his expression. Resignation. He was certain she was going to choose Walter. There was no reason for her to feel she was taking something from him, but she did.

“I'll be happy to speak with Mrs. Winborne if George has no objection,” Walter said.

“It could be a good opportunity for you,” George said.

Walter had to be curious, even a little confused, but if he felt it, nothing showed. Sarah considered that a good sign as well. He was a man who could take surprises or unexpected turns in stride. That was good because there would be plenty of both.

Sarah was surprised to find she didn't feel entirely comfortable being in a room alone with Walter. There was nothing she could put her finger on, but being alone with him lacked the ease she'd felt with Salty. Walter settled into a chair a comfortable distance from her and waited for her to begin.

“I feel a little awkward talking to a man I don't know,” Sarah began.

“Would you like me to start by telling you something about myself?”

“I'd appreciate that.”

His background was exactly what Sarah was looking for, but she found herself comparing it to Salty's. That was stupid and pointless, but she couldn't stop herself.

“That's about it,” Walter said when he'd brought his story up to the present. “Is there anything else you wanted to know?”

“No. Thank you for being so open.”

Walter's smile was fatherly. “There's nothing unusual about my story. There are probably a hundred men in Austin and San Antonio like me.”

Maybe, but she hadn't found any of them.

“Now how about you telling me about this proposal of yours.”

Sarah didn't want to have to bare the story of her life, but he had a right to know why she was in the position of having to hire a pretend husband. It was hard to tell him about her marriage, but Walter showed nothing but sympathy for her situation. By the time she was finished, she felt like she was talking to an old friend. “I think that's everything. Do you have any questions?”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

That wasn't the question she'd expected. “After what I've said, why do you ask?”

“A pretty young woman like you should be looking for a husband, not a man old enough to be your father.”

“I don't want a husband. I mean, not a
real
husband. I don't want any man to control my life ever again.”

“Not every man is like your father or your husband. I'm certain you could find a dozen young men who'd treat you like a princess.”

Sarah didn't want to be treated like a princess, either. She wanted to be treated as an equal, one whose opinions would be listened to, whose wishes would be valued. She'd been in control of her life for six difficult and frightening years. She wasn't willing to go back to being treated like a possession.

“Giving up your chance for a normal marriage is a big step,” Walter said.

“I'm determined to be the only one in control of my life. I'll need something in our agreement that says while you're legally my husband, you'll have no authority over me.”

“That might be awkward to put into some kind of legal language. It would probably be easier to keep it as an understanding between us. Or the man you choose.”

It probably
would
be difficult to find the right language, but she wanted something in the agreement that protected her. She had no reason to distrust Walter, but she had plenty of reason to distrust men.

“Would you be interested in my proposition?” she asked.

“Any man would be interested,” Walter said with another of his fatherly smiles. “I hadn't been thinking of having a place of my own again, but a man likes to feel he's in control of his life, too. I'll need to talk to George first though.”

“Take your time. I haven't made up my mind yet.”

That seemed to take him by surprise. “I didn't realize you'd talked to anyone else.”

“Just Salty. The other cowhand is younger than I am.”

“Salty is a good man,” Walter said. “And much closer to your age.”

“That's not a consideration.”

Walter paused a moment before saying, “I guess that's all I need to know. You'll let me know when you've made your decision?”

“Of course.”

He rose. “You're fortunate to be able to call the Randolphs your friends.”

Sarah nearly blurted out that she'd never met the Randolphs until a few hours ago. She wasn't sure what kept her quiet. She nodded and waited for Walter to leave the office.

The moment he closed the door, she fell back in her chair. He couldn't have been nicer, and he was exactly the kind of man she was looking for, so why had she been so tense? Why did she feel relieved he was gone? Maybe she was tense because she was about to make a decision that would affect her family for years to come. Maybe it was the result of meeting so many new people in such a short time. It could be that she was tense because she was on strange ground. Perhaps she was simply exhausted and would feel much more like herself tomorrow. More likely she was worried because she didn't know how her children were going to react when she told them what she had done. In some ways, her choice would have more impact on them than her.

Giving up all hope of figuring out what was bothering her, she was about to get up when she heard a knock on the door and Salty came in.

“I saw Walter leave. Do you want to join the rest of us?”

She would have preferred to be alone so she could clear away some of the fog in her mind. “Are you sure the men wouldn't prefer their own company?”

Salty smiled in a way that caused a flutter in her chest. “We have more than enough of our own company. Visitors are always welcome, especially when they're as pretty as you. Since we've
never
had a visitor like you, that makes you really special.”

No one had ever told Sarah she was special. It was a concept she had difficulty absorbing. Was she special only because she was a female and reasonably attractive? Probably, but she intended to enjoy the feeling. It wouldn't last long.

“What do you do in the evening?” Sarah asked Salty.

“Sometimes we talk about things we did during the day or ranch business in general, but mostly we listen to the twins tease Zac. It'll be a real treat to listen to someone else.”

Sarah felt something akin to panic. She had nothing to say that could interest a man like George Randolph. Zac and Tyler probably knew more about running a ranch than she did. Neither her father nor her husband had ever wanted her opinion. Everything she knew had been learned by trial and error or by picking the brains of hired men who made no attempt to hide their disgust at her ignorance.

“I'm sure they don't want to listen to me.”

“That's where you're wrong. Ellen and Jared have made everyone curious to know more about you.”

What could her children have been saying? She'd always cautioned them to be careful what they said around strangers, but they had virtually no experience with strangers, especially not a woman like Rose who treated both of them as normal children and fed them doughnuts. They'd never been around a spirited child like Zac, a charming boy who was bubbling over with enjoyment of life. He made everyone laugh and want to join in the fun. You wanted to throw off all restraints because Zac had none and was having more fun than you had ever thought was possible.

“There's nothing interesting about me,” she said.

“How often do you have women showing up at your ranch wanting to hire a man to marry her?”

She wouldn't have put it quite that way, but she could see his point. “That makes me unusual, not interesting.”

“Ma'am, anything unusual is interesting. Now are you going to join us?”

More than ever she wanted to be by herself, but apparently she was to be the night's entertainment. “Only if you promise not to expose my ignorance.”

She couldn't quite make up her mind what she thought of Salty's expression. It could have been a mixture of surprise, amusement, and disappointment that she would think so badly of him. Deciphering the expressions of people she didn't know was a guessing game that was liable to put her in the wrong more often than not.

“If we don't hurry, Rose is going to send somebody after us. If we're lucky, it will be Tyler. He hardly ever talks. If we aren't, it will be Monty. He makes up stuff just for the fun of it.”

“Come sit by me,” Rose said when Sarah entered the room. “Everybody has joined forces against me.”

“She says she hates cows and doesn't think much of horses,” Ellen said to her mother. “And she has a whole ranch full of them.”

“I've tried to point out that I married my husband
in spite of
his cows and his horses,” Rose clarified.

“I think she married George in spite of us,” Monty said.

“She certainly married him in spite of you,” Jeff said.

Sarah had noticed at supper that Jeff was missing his left arm. She wondered if he'd lost it during the war. She wanted to like him, at least be sympathetic, but his expression was so forbidding even some of his brothers avoided him.

Rose laughed. “I married him in spite of
all
of you.”

“She didn't marry George in spite of me,” Zac announced. “She loves me.”

Everyone laughed, but Sarah hadn't missed the angry glance Monty threw at Jeff, or the glance George gave Jeff that caused him to shrug his shoulders and look away.

Sarah enjoyed watching the brothers tease Zac because it was so clear he enjoyed the attention. It made her sad that Jared had no older brothers whose love was strong enough to overlook his physical imperfection. Neither Jeff's injury nor his bitterness had been enough to prevent him from being a valued member of the family.