No One But You (12 page)

“It won't be easy, and you might have to grow stronger first, but we're going to try.”

Jared let go of the wall and staggered forward to clutch Salty about the waist. “I'm glad Mama married you.”

Salty had to swallow a couple of times before he could reply. “I'm glad I married her, too. Now, we'd better figure out what to do with these pigs and chickens until I can fix up pens tomorrow. I don't want the coyotes getting them before we get a chance to eat them ourselves.”

“We can't eat the chickens, remember? We want them to give us eggs.”

He winked at the boy. “Glad you reminded me. I'd have wrung their necks and had them in the pot before dark.”

“I know you're teasing me,” Jared said, “but I don't mind.”

“Well, your mother won't be teasing us if we don't get our work done before she has supper on the table. If anyone is willing to cook for you, don't make them wait or you're likely to be cooking your own food.”

Jared shook his head. “Mama won't starve you. You have to work hard.”

“Which neither of us is doing, so we'd better get busy. We can leave the chickens in their cage, but what are we going to do with the pigs?”

* * *

“Do you like Salty?”

Ellen's question didn't exactly surprise Sarah, but she wasn't sure how she wanted to answer. While she tried to decide what to say, she carried the clothes Rose had given the children to the room they shared. Bare walls and floor cast their bunks in stark relief, quilts made out of scraps providing the room's only color. A single chest held their few clothes. Everything else had been sold.

“Of course I like Salty,” she said. “I wouldn't have married him if I didn't.”

Ellen tried on everything Sarah handed her. She might be a tomboy, but she had a woman's interest in new clothes, even if they were only new to her. “I don't mean like that.”

“How do you mean?” Sarah didn't want to ask, but she had learned that both her children were tenacious in pursuing a question until they got an answer that satisfied them.

“Like Mrs. Randolph likes her husband.”

Sarah had never believed it was possible for a woman to love her husband the way Rose loved George. She also had been certain there was no man in the world who would treat his wife as George treated Rose.

She told her daughter, “I hardly know Salty, and he hardly knows me. Two people have to be together for a long time before they care for each other that much.”

“Oh.” Ellen sank into such deep thought she didn't follow when Sarah went to her own room to open the bag of clothes Rose had given her.

Sarah's room was as bare as that of her children. The primary difference was that she had a real bed and a bureau that had belonged to her mother. A blue print dress from Rose's bag caught her attention. With her fair complexion and blond hair, blue had always been one of her favorite colors. She pulled the garment out, unfolded it, and held it up against her. She looked at her reflection in a small mirror on her bureau. It made her look younger. It was almost the same sky blue as her eyes.

“Why don't you put it on?”

Sarah whirled around to find her daughter standing in the doorway. She was embarrassed to be caught admiring her reflection in the mirror, just as she'd complained Roger used to do. “I was just looking to see if they might fit,” she said.

“It makes you look pretty,” Ellen said.

“It doesn't feel right.” Sarah began to pack it away.

“If it's all right for us to wear the clothes Mrs. Randolph gave us, why isn't it for you?”

It wasn't a matter of right or wrong, exactly. It was a matter of pride—something that was as useless in this instance as it was vital in others. Sarah changed her mind, folded the dress, and laid it on the bed.

“I bet Salty would think you were pretty if you wore it,” Ellen said.

That was exactly what Sarah didn't need to hear. “I don't want to make Salty think I'm pretty.”

“Why not?” The hole under her feet was getting deeper and deeper.

“I only married Salty because I needed someone to help me with the ranch.”

“I know, but he likes you.”

Sarah sat down on the edge of the bed and drew Ellen toward her. “We have a business arrangement. He'll help me with the ranch, and I'll give him half of our land if he's successful.”

Ellen stared at her. “Jared and I like Salty. How come you don't like him?”

Sarah shook her head. “Why is it so important that I like him?”

“We don't want him to go away like all the others.”

Sarah glanced away from her daughter. “He won't leave. We're married.”

“Papa left, and you were married to him.”

Sarah sighed and put her arm around Ellen. She pushed the girl's hair out of her eyes. How could a seven-year-old look so grown up? It was impossible to explain why Roger's leaving was different. He hadn't been mature enough to take on the responsibility of a family, to do the hard work necessary to keep a ranch going, or accept the lack of adventure that accompanied going to bed with the same woman every night.

She reached for her daughter's hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and settled on the simplest truth. “Your father left because he was needed to fight the war.” Roger really left because he'd grown disenchanted with the work it took to run the ranch, had fallen out of love with his wife, and couldn't accept that he had a handicapped son. Sarah had learned long ago not to quibble over a little lie. It was more important to protect her children.

“I look like him, don't I?”

Sarah guided her daughter to the mirror. “More and more each day. He was a very handsome man. You're going to be a beautiful woman.”

Ellen turned away from the mirror. “I don't want to be beautiful.”

Sarah was surprised. “Why not?”

“I don't want a man to marry me then leave me.”

Heart breaking, Sarah drew her daughter to her. “The war is over. Men won't have a reason to leave their wives and children.” She prayed that was true.

“Salty won't leave?”

“No. He won't leave,” Sarah promised. And he wouldn't. Not even after the divorce. He would have half of her ranch. He wouldn't be her husband anymore, but she'd be connected to him forever. Surprisingly, that thought gave her a feeling of security she'd never had before. There'd be someone to depend on, to talk to, to share her concerns about her ranch. And it would be even better because he was fond of her children.

She shook her head to dislodge these foolish daydreams. She had to stop letting her imagination run loose. She had no assurance he wouldn't simply sell his part of the ranch. She just hoped he wouldn't. She was hungry for someone she could talk to as a friend and confidant, an equal, someone she wasn't responsible for.

Ellen's countenance brightened. “I'm glad Salty won't leave. I hope he stays forever.”

Sarah hadn't put the thought into words, not even in her own mind, but she hoped he would, too.

She thought about Arnie. She would never have married him under normal circumstances, but would she have done so for the sake of her children? Chills ran down her back. Despite the lies he told, Arnie had been her best hand. She would have married him if she'd had no other choice. After all, she'd married Salty, about whom she knew even less. Of course, Salty wanted her land more than he wanted her. Now that she'd gotten what she wanted, she didn't want it any longer, but how was Salty to know that if she didn't tell him she'd changed her mind?

“Do you think you could learn to like Salty a lot?”

Sarah had almost forgotten her daughter was still there. “I don't know. He seems like a very nice man, so I think I could. Why?”

“I want you to have a baby with him.”

Sarah felt like she'd been slammed face-first into a stone wall. “What made you say a thing like that?”

“You had us when you married Papa,” Ellen pointed out.

“That was different.”

“How?”

Sarah felt so weak she sank back down on the bed. “I married your father hoping to start a family. But I have my family now, so I don't need to have any children with Salty.” She breathed a sigh of relief. That covered the issue without involving any lies.

“Don't you
want
to have a baby with Salty?”

No. She didn't want that kind of relationship with a man ever again. It wasn't about having a baby, though. It was about the emotional commitment that would have to exist between them before she would consider entering another physical relationship. She hated to think of growing old alone, but that seemed preferable to the hell she'd endured with Roger.

She told Ellen, “I don't need any more family than you and Jared. Besides, when you two grow up and get married, you'll give me lots of grandchildren.”

“I'm not going to get married, and Arnie said no one would marry Jared.”

Sarah blamed herself for not being more vigilant, for not knowing more about what Arnie was saying to her children. She reached out, put her arm around her daughter's shoulder and said, “When I was your age, I didn't want to get married, either, but I changed my mind. I eventually wanted a family. Most women do.”

“I don't.”

“You may change your mind. As for no one wanting to marry Jared, that's nonsense. He's a wonderful boy.”

“But he's a cripple.”

“Lots of men have come back from the war without arms or legs, but their families are glad to have them back.”

“Do you mean like that mean man at the Randolphs'?”

Sarah dropped her arm from Ellen's shoulder and looked her daughter in the eye. “I'm sure Jeff isn't really mean. But now it's time for me to stop chattering and see about starting supper.”

“Can I go see about the horses?”

This was one of the many times she couldn't monitor what the children were hearing or saying, but there was too much work to be done to keep them by her side all day. She didn't feel so concerned about them with Salty as she had been about them with the other men who'd worked for her. “You may go. Ask Jared if he's ready to come to the house.”

Ellen was through the door so quickly she could barely have heard Sarah's last words. Her daughter's love of horses brought a smile to Sarah's lips. She just hoped her daughter wasn't planning to join a cavalry unit when she got older.

It was a blessing that her children liked Salty, Sarah decided. That took some of the burden off her shoulders, because she no longer had to be both mother and father. They now had a man they liked and admired who would be part of their lives for several years to come. By the time of the divorce, they would be mostly grown, able to stand on their own feet.

Yes, she was grateful Salty liked her children and that he was making an obvious effort to be a positive part of their lives. She'd have to figure out how to thank him. One way would be to fix his favorite meals once she found out what he liked to eat.

Another might be to wear that blue dress.

* * *

Salty was ready to eat. He was hungry and worn out from both trying to do his work and keep two energetic seven-year-olds occupied. He'd never realized children could be so exhausting, even when they were helping! Ellen had so much enthusiasm it wore him out. Jared wanted to be involved, but there was very little he could do without assistance or some imaginative planning. At least Bones had the good sense to stay out of the way and just watch.

He drove the last nail into the last board and stepped back to consider his work. “I think this pen will hold the pigs until we can build something better.”

“Will you put the pigs that ran away in the pen?” Ellen asked.

“Mama said we don't have enough feed to keep them in a pen.” Jared was sitting on the chicken cage. Occasionally one pecked at him, but that didn't seem to bother him. “Enough pigs always survived before for us to have something to eat.”

Salty tousled the boy's hair. “We'll need a lot more pigs now that I'm here.”

Ellen giggled. “If you eat that much, you'll get fat.”

“Wouldn't you two like to get fat?”

“I wouldn't like to be fat,” Jared said. “I might hurt my leg even more.”

That drained what little humor there had been in Salty's joke. “Your leg is going to get better,” he promised, “not worse.”

Jared shrugged. “A doctor told Mama it might get a little better when I got older, but he said I'd never be able to walk.”

Salty had already picked out the piece of wood he would attempt to make into a workable crutch. “There's more than one way to skin a cat. We just have to figure out how to skin your particular cat.”

Ellen giggled again. “Jared doesn't have a cat.”

Salty grabbed her and rubbed his knuckles across her head to produce more giggles. “Maybe I should have said ‘particular problem.'” He tweaked her nose and let her go. “Now let's head up to the house. I can hear my stomach growling.”

He started to let Jared lean on him for support, but he could tell from the boy's eyes that he was too exhausted to make it to the house. Hoping to make a game of it, he picked the child up and settled him on his shoulders. “Now you're taller than your sister.”

“I want to ride, too!” Ellen cried.

“Maybe tomorrow, if your brother doesn't break my back.” Salty pretended to stagger under Jared's weight. “I didn't know he was such a big boy.”

Ellen bounded inside the house as soon as they reached it. Salty put Jared down and they followed.

The first thing to catch his attention was the aroma of sausage and corn bread. It smelled so good it caused his mouth to water. The second thing was Sarah wearing a blue dress. What that did to another part of his body was something he hoped no one would notice.

“Salty gave Jared a ride on his shoulders,” Ellen announced. “He's going to give me a ride tomorrow.”

Sarah looked up from the pan she was watching. “You're both too big to be riding on Salty's shoulders. If you give him a bad back, you'll have to do all his work.” Then she winked at Salty, which caused his body further confusion. Maybe she was just teasing the children, but it looked more like a thawing in the stiff-backed resistance of the last few days. With the thaw, the wink, and the blue dress…well, if things continued in this direction, he was in for some sleepless nights.

“He says he needs lots of pigs to eat because he's real hungry,” Ellen continued.

“Ellen said he'd get fat if he ate that much.”

Sarah looked at her children then at Salty. “While you were doing all this talking, did you get any work done?”

“I took care of the horses while Salty made a pen for the pigs,” Ellen replied.

Jared reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out three eggs. “I got some eggs our new chickens laid.” He laughed. “They didn't like it, though. They pecked at me.”

“What did you do with the chickens?”

“We left them in their cage. Salty says he's going to build a pen around one of the trees. It'll be my job to let them out in the mornings and close the pen in the evenings. He says he's going to make me a walking stick so I can do it by myself.”

Apparently Salty could expect everything he said to be related to Sarah at the first opportunity. He could also tell from her frown she didn't like him making promises she wasn't certain he could keep. “My father was badly injured in an accident,” he explained. “I made several crutches for him.”

Sarah didn't appear appeased. “Ellen, set the table.”

The girl moved quickly to help her mother.

“Is there anything I can do?” Salty asked.

“You can make sure you and Jared are washed and ready to eat in five minutes.”

“Come on,” Salty said to the boy. “You pump, and I'll put my head under the water.”

“You'll get all wet!”

“That's the point.”

“Do I have to put my head under the pump?” Jared asked.

“You do if you're dirty.”

He turned to his mother. “Am I dirty?”

He looked like he hoped she would say no, but she laughed and replied, “Any boy who has had to fight with chickens for their eggs is bound to be dirty.”

“I took care of the horses,” Ellen said. “Can
I
put my head under the pump?”

“You can wash up inside,” her mother said.

Salty had never thought of washing up before dinner as a game, but by the time he and Jared got through pumping water over each other, they were both laughing so hard they couldn't understand half of what the other said.

“It sounded more like you were playing in that water than washing in it,” Sarah accused when they came back into the house.

Salty grinned at Jared, who was nearly as wet as he was. “I think we did a little of both. Dinner smells mighty good.”

“What did you do with Bones?” Sarah asked.

“I left him to watch the pigs and chickens. Don't want anybody stealing them.”

Sarah shook her head. “There's nobody but Mr. Wallace within miles, and I'm sure he's got enough pigs and chickens of his own.”

“Don't tell Bones that,” Salty joked. “He needs to feel useful.”

That made the children laugh, but Sarah was now looking at him a little strangely, like she couldn't quite figure him out. It served her right for changing the rules of their relationship, because he couldn't quite figure things out, either.

That blue dress wasn't helping. It wasn't just the color. The garment was made to fit snugly at the waist and bosom. It was wreaking havoc with his thinking processes, as well as having physical effects on the rest of him. After many years of celibacy, he hadn't expected that. Apparently, all that had been lacking was the right woman.

He'd just married that right woman and promised not to touch her. He could foresee having to douse his head under the pump a lot more often.

The front half of the house was a single large room with space for the kitchen, a large table, and a sitting area focused around a fireplace. The kitchen area was made up of a cast iron stove, a larder built into the corner, and a work table. Long use had polished the surface of a rough-hewn supper table until it glistened in the fading sunlight coming in one of the two windows. A rough bench placed against the wall and two ladder-back chairs comprised the rest of the furniture. The walls were unadorned, and two doors led to what he assumed were two bedrooms.

As basic as this was, it was a step up from the dog trot Rose and George Randolph had occupied before the McClendons burned them out. Apparently Sarah's ranch had been successful at one time. He hoped he could make it so again.

That's what he should be thinking about, rather than Sarah's slim waist, her breasts, and the smile that still puzzled him. If he interpreted it correctly, she had stopped fighting her attraction to him. That could mean one of two things: she could have decided to admit her attraction and see where it would go, or she could have decided to admit her attraction but rely on his indifference to keep it from developing into something stronger. Which left him in a quandary. If it was the first, there was no problem. He would simply let his own attraction develop. She was his wife, after all. If it was the second, he didn't know if he could hold up his end of the bargain. When he'd made his promise, he'd been depending on her resistance to help him keep it.

“Serve Salty first,” Sarah told Ellen.

“Why?”

“Because he's the head of the family now. It's a sign of respect.”

Jared grinned at him before turning to his mother. “And he has to do the most work.”

Life with his new family was proving to be more complex than Salty had expected. He was no longer simply a man contracted to manage their ranch in exchange for land; he was being incorporated into their family, not merely as a member, but as the head. He didn't know how that was going to fit with Sarah's need to retain control of her own life as well as be involved in all decisions affecting the ranch or the children, and least of all did he understand how it was going to affect the relationship between them.

“As soon as I make that crutch, you'll have your share of work,” Salty promised the boy. But the words were hardly out of his mouth before he remembered Sarah's earlier reaction. The crutch had better make life better for Jared, or the recent thaw could become a chill just as quickly.

“Can I ride one of your horses?” Ellen asked. “We don't have any that good.”

“I don't know,” Salty said. “A man needs to rest his horses. I could use three or four riding horses instead of just two.”

Ellen nodded. “Mama said Grandpapa had more, but they ran away.”

“We've recaptured some of them over the years,” Sarah said, “but they keep getting out of the corral.”

Salty was reminded he had a lot of work to do before he could tackle the problem of the ranch's cattle.

“Before we worry about extra horses, we need to plant the garden,” Sarah pointed out.

“I can sort the seeds and cut the potato eyes,” Jared volunteered.

“I hate working in the garden,” Ellen said. Salty would have guessed that.

The discussion of what to plant and when took up the rest of supper, but Salty wasn't so preoccupied he failed to notice Sarah had made the plain meal of sausage, corn bread, and beans taste a lot better than it sounded. He got the feeling she was embarrassed to serve him such a meager meal; she hadn't looked at him when she put the food on the table.

“I don't have any dessert.” She flushed with embarrassment. “We ran out of sugar a while back.”