No Matter What (140 page)

She closed her eyes as he kissed her gently, his fingers tightening around hers.

“I can do anything if I know you’re there, Joe.
 
So, thank you, baby.
 
Thank you.
 
For understanding, for being there.
 
For loving me.”

He kissed her again, a little longer and a little harder this time.
 
“So, are we gonna show him then?
 
Are we gonna go out there and show him that whatever he’s doing it isn’t working?”

She nodded, resting her forehead against his, still holding tightly onto his hand.
 
“Yeah.
 
We’re gonna show him.”

He smiled again, stroking the hair from her tired and red eyes.
 
“Do you want to go to bed now then, princess?
 
I think we could both do with some sleep.”

She nodded. “Yeah.
 
We could.
 
And, Joe?
 
I love you.
 
Never forget that. Whatever happens in the future just, never forget that I love you.”

CHAPTER 66

NORTH
EAST ENGLAND

“This place is incredible!” Reece said, as he walked with
India
and Ellie through the grounds of the almost castle-like mansion they were staying in whilst
India
, Kenny and Ray were filming in and around the area.

“Well, seeing as we’re all going to be in the same place Joe and I thought it made sense to rent a place big enough for us all to stay in.
 
But it
is
amazing, isn’t it?”

It was a huge, sprawling yet still cosy house with four reception rooms, seven bedrooms, nine bathrooms, three kitchens, a private cinema, indoor swimming pool and gym and vast private grounds containing two guest cottages.
 
Bobby had bagged one of those, Kenny the other one.

But even in the main house there was more than enough room for everyone to stay there and not get in each other’s way, although having Ray in such close proximity still felt a little uncomfortable for
India
.
 
But she was just going to have to deal with it.
 
Along with everything else.

They were staying in the heart of beautiful Northumberland, North East England, a place very close to
India
’s heart because it was a place that brought back childhood memories of Sunday afternoon walks, her and Terry running about on the sandy beach at Bamburgh, eating chips and playing football.
 
She could still hear the seagulls, taste the fresh salty air.
 
She’d forgotten what a beautiful place it was and she’d wanted to visit these places again, with her own family.
 
She’d wanted to show her kids where she’d come from, and how beautiful parts of this cold but wonderful island could be.
 
She may have lived in southern
California
for the past eighteen years but
India
was very much an English girl at heart - and a North East English girl at that.
 
She always would be, and it was important for her that her children knew that, that they knew that part of her.
 
She wanted them to think of her as more than just mommy the movie star.

The house was surrounded by the most stunning views, which, even in winter, were still incredible, and not too far from the coast.
 
Not the warmest time of year to visit but she’d wanted to see these places again, and remember the times she’d had there with her brother.
 
She’d wanted to be India Steven again, just for a short time.
 
She’d wanted to get that girl back for a little while because, sometimes, she felt as though she’d been lost amongst the crazy pace of things in
L.A.
 
Lost amongst the men in her life.

She shook herself back to reality and smiled at her father.
 
“And don’t you think it’ll be the most idyllic place to spend Christmas?
 
I know we talked about going back to
Los Angeles
but the break in filming just doesn’t warrant us de-camping the kids back over there for only a few days, especially as we’ve just got here, really.
 
It’ll be cold – and God knows I still can’t get used to this weather – but it’ll be lovely.
 
Joe’s going to get a huge tree and decorate the place; the kids are going to love it!”

“Talking of family ...” Reece began, and
India
knew exactly what he was going to say.
 
“Ethan wants to see him,
India
.”

“I know that, dad,”
India
said, as they reached the main house.
 
“I’ve heard nothing else since you all got here.”

“So?”

She looked at Reece.
 
“So, we’re taking him with us today.
 
He can see Michael on set.”

Reece opened the main front door of the house as
India
guided the pushchair through.

“You have to let him come here, sweetheart.
 
For Ethan’s sake.
 
You have to think about that.”

She gently lifted Ellie up, taking off her hat and stroking her dark hair.

“I don’t have to do anything where Michael’s concerned.
 
Ethan can see him whenever he likes, I’d never stop that, and I’ll work with him, I’ll do my job, I’ve got no choice there so I’ll make the best of it.
 
But I don’t know if I want him here, ok?”

That might just be too close for comfort as far as
India
was concerned.

“Don’t want who here?” JJ asked, coming into the hallway, smiling at his baby daughter.

“Michael,”
India
replied, handing Ellie over to him.

JJ said nothing, just kissed his little girl and looked at
India
before taking Ellie off into the kitchen for her breakfast.

Reece watched his daughter as she parked the pushchair in the corner of the hallway, taking off her own hat and coat and hanging them up, shaking out her blonde hair.
 
Something was going on, Reece could sense it.
 
He’d seen the look on JJ’s face when
India
had mentioned Michael.

“What was up with him?”

India
turned around and looked at Reece.
 
“Who?”

“Joseph.
 
You mention Michael – no reaction.
 
Apart from that look, I didn’t miss that look,
India
.
 
What went on before I arrived here?”

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.”

Reece looked at her, more than aware that she wasn’t telling him everything, absolutely certain that something had gone on that she didn’t feel like telling him about and that hurt a little.
 
Because he was sure it was something important, something concerning Michael, something he’d been trying to find out since their marriage had ended.
 
India
had loved that man, she’d loved him so much, and they’d survived things that most marriages would never have come through, and suddenly one thing happened that she’d refused to talk about and it was over.
 
It was over and she wouldn’t even talk to him on the ‘phone and that had never sat right with Reece. Not when a child was involved, not when they had Ethan.
 
For
India
to do that then something must have happened, and the look on JJ’s face told Reece that
he
now knew what that something was.
 
And her own father didn’t.

“
India
... do I need to know?”

She stopped what she was doing and looked at him.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,
India
, and all I’m asking is, do I need to know?”

“Dad ...”

“Do I
need
to know,
India
?”

She looked at him for a second, knowing this was a secret she’d kept hidden for far too long, something she should have shared with those closest to her, something she’d handled – was
still
handling - so badly, but to tell Reece now, what would that gain?
 
It was going to be hard enough having to deal with Michael as it was.
 
Telling her father the truth now could only make that worse, so she shook her head as she looked at him, feeling like crap but knowing it was the right thing to do.

“No,” she said quietly.
 
“No. You don’t need to know.”

“Then I won’t ask about it again.”

“Ok,” she whispered, turning to walk away.

“
India
?”

She turned back around.

“I’m your father and I love you, and I know the circumstances of our relationship have been so complicated but ... I’m your father.
 
I love you so much, and all I want to do is make sure you’re ok.”

She smiled.
 
“I know that, dad.
 
I know.”

***

This was a situation Michael was having to get used to.
 
He had a movie to make, a movie starring his ex-wife - a woman he was still very much in love with, that was more than evident now.
 
He had a studio to answer to and a schedule to keep.
 
But he also had a family to get back, and the timeframe in which he had to achieve that was frighteningly short.

He had to see
India
again, alone, and soon.
 
He had to speak to her before time ran away with them.
 
He hadn’t really had a chance since that night at the hotel and every day was becoming more painful and tiring than he’d ever imagined it could be.
 
Should he go to her trailer?
 
Should he push so hard so soon?
 
Probably not the way to go about it, not right now.
 
None of this was playing out quite the way he’d planned, but it was all he had to build on, so he had to make the best of it.
 
He had no other option.

***

Bobby was sitting at the table in the corner of
India
’s on-set trailer, sorting through paperwork, checking e-mails and organising some publicity photos for her to sign whilst
India
sat curled up on the sofa going through her script.
 

It was mainly scenes with Ray today.
 
Being close to him again, even though it was just on a movie set, was still making her slightly nervous but she had to get that under control, she had to deal with that.
 
And being directed by Michael, that only added to the pressure and surreal-ness of the whole situation.
 
None of it was ideal but all of it was unavoidable.

“So, you were born here then, angel?” Bobby asked, sorting the photographs into a neat little pile beside the laptop.

India
didn’t look up from her script.
 
“Well, no, I was born a bit further down the coast in a place called
Whitley
Bay
.”

“Is it by the sea?”

“Yes, it’s by the sea.”

“A bit like
Malibu
then.”

She looked up at him.
 
“No.
 
Not really.”
 
Bobby laughed and she smiled at him.
 
“Funny bugger.”

“Have you ever thought about getting a place here in the
U.K.
, princess?”

She looked up from her script again.
 
“No.
 
I’ve never actually thought about it to be honest.”

But now he’d put the idea in her head
India
thought it might actually be an idea worth considering.
 
It could be somewhere to bring the kids as they grew up, somewhere to keep them familiar with her roots – to keep
herself
familiar with her roots.
 
Maybe she
should
have a place here.
 
It wasn’t as though she couldn’t afford it.
 
Eighteen years in the
U.S.A.
and she’d never even thought about buying a bolt hole in
Britain
.
 

Bobby started typing away on the laptop again, his reading glasses perched on the end of his nose.
 
“Does it ever get warm here, angel?”