Nil on Fire (41 page)

My grip tightened on my board. I ached to get out on the water; it was the only place my fury didn't rage these days. I hated touching Nil ground. Part of me envied Chuck, who'd caught a gate, a ticket out. The rest of me wanted to stay, to beat Nil senseless, to see it burn.

I hated this place.

Thad was moving faster than me this morning. He already stood at the water's edge, back to me, board tucked under his arm, gauging the swells. Or maybe he was gearing up, bracing himself against the water's chill. No wet suits here, and if you stayed in the water long enough, the cold crept in.

Classic Nil.

“Thad,” I called.

At the sound of his name, he turned and gave me an easy nod. “What's up, brother?”

“You still talking to Charley?”

“Absolutely.” He smiled. A chill smile, the lucky bastard.

“Well, the next time you talk to her, ask her what the hell I'm supposed to do to save Skye.” I wasn't kidding. I was grasping at straws, but it was all I had left. “I can't accept it, Thad. She's set on being last, on carrying a torch into the stationary gate. Nil's gotten in her head. But it's not her choice, it's Nil's.”

“I'll ask Charley. But it won't matter.” Thad gripped my shoulder. “Rives, Skye knows what she's asking.” His voice was heavy. “She's asking you to let her go.”

I threw Thad's hand off. “You don't get to tell me that,” I snapped. “You've got Charley back home, waiting for you. I'm losing Skye, Thad, I'm
losing
her. Forever. And you're asking me to let her go. To say it's okay. I can't do that. I
won't
.”

“It's what she wants.” Thad's voice was quiet.

“Wrong. It's what Nil wants,” I said bitterly.

Now it was Skye standing on the edge of a cliff; Skye, ready to fall. And Thad was asking me to stand back and do nothing. Let her fall, let her go.

Let her
die
.

“You don't know what Skye wants.” My tone ran cold.
You don't know
her
.

Thad didn't react. “I do. I've talked to her, Rives, every day. I've listened to what you don't want to hear. She can't take it.” He pointed to his head. “It's too much. The island changed her, and she can't go back. She can't rewind the clock, can't reset. Can't get all she knows—and
feels
—out of her head.” He swallowed. “Molly saw it. It's the only way.”

“Like hell it is.” My voice was a growl. “I didn't come back here to lose her. I came back to save her. Wait—” I paused. “What do you mean, Molly saw it?”

“You know how Skye saw the past? All of it?”

I nodded.

“Well, Molly sees the future. Totally whacked, but ever since she was in that cavern with Skye, she gets flashes of the future when she touches people. Like Ramia did. And Molly saw Skye walk through the gate holding a torch. She saw it, Rives. I wish it were different.” His eyes were pained.

“So what if Molly gets a flash? It's an image Nil stuck in her head. The island's playing games, Thad. You know how it is. And even if somehow Molly got a flash of the future, she's not getting the full picture. It's not over. Not by a long shot.”

I spun around, done with Thad. Done with this whole Nil mess. In that moment, the twin columns of Nil melded completely into one: cruel.

Thad had been right about Nil.

But he was dead wrong about Skye.

I strode back to the Shack, my dawn plans shredded. All I wanted to do was talk to Skye. Beg her if need be, make her see that sacrificing herself wasn't necessary. I had to convince her, rationalize with her, get her to see that she wasn't thinking clearly, that Nil had camped out in her head. That somehow there must be another way.

Back in the City, I headed for our hut. I was so deep in my head I didn't realize anyone was inside until I got close. Skye's voice stopped me short.

“So they're pieces of the future,” Skye was saying.

“Yes, different images every time, every touch. But—” Molly paused. “Not with you. It's weird. When I touch you, I get only one picture, every time. The
same
picture, as clear as day. You walking into the gate with a lit torch, a fireball exploding in darkness, and then nothing. Just black. But the black—” Molly shuddered. “It's intense.”

I stood in the entrance. Neither girl noticed me. Sitting on opposite beds, they were fully focused on each other.

“After the black, do you see anything?” Skye asked. The hope in her voice buoyed me, the first positive sign in weeks.

“No.” Molly shook her head. “The vision is over.”

Skye smiled, with a satisfied look that shocked me.

“It means nothing.” My voice ripped through the hut, hot and desperate, making both girls look up. “Skye.” I looked only at her. “This is what Nil wants. It's what Nil has
always
wanted. You. Dead.” My tone went flat. “Please don't do this. It's Nil talking, not you.”

Skye sighed. The pity in her eyes took me aback. “Rives, I know what Nil wants, and what it needs. Yes, Nil is in my head, in
me
. I won't deny it. But I'm here too.” Her eyes sparked. “And it's
my
choice to go last and end this thing once and for all. It's what I was brought here to do.” Her voice carried the same resolute tone as when she said she was going to the Death Twin weeks ago; it made me sick. She studied me, from a place much farther away than just a few meters.

“It's my choice, Rives,” she said quietly, her eyes on mine, her tone Skye-fierce and deeply sad. “Nil can't die if I live. I
will
be last. You have to let me go. If you love me, you'll let me go. This is why I'm here,” she whispered. Then she closed her eyes. “I'm sorry.”

I'm sorry.

Somehow we'd moved past excuses to apologies when I was still fighting for a chance, as if the discussion were over.

It is
, I realized.

She'd made her choice, and it didn't include me.

My heart froze. Shattered, then flatlined.

I turned away first.

 

CHAPTER

66

NIL

ALMOST NOON

The island left the humans alone.

Their pain was too much; there was no reprieve.

Instead, the island focused on the four-legged creatures; it wielded its dwindling power in bursts, perfectly timed, purging the island of beasts, especially those that preferred meat. If the humans failed, if she failed—the one called Skye—then the island would be helpless to guide or sustain human life in the eons to come. The beasts here would be the least of their worries, but for now, the island wished to preserve as much human life as possible with the end drawing near.

In three weeks, the crescent moon would rise.

The end was written.

Noon arrived, powerful and alluring, and with the island's help, a cat departed. His stay had been short, which was just as well. Still, three similar cats remained, all with glossy golden coats, one with a thick mane. They could be a problem.

The seam rippled with power surging from both sides.

It widened, and the island couldn't resist the call to look. To see the world beyond the seam, fascinating and raw, full of electria pulsing and flowing, in ribbons crisscrossing like light.

But as usual, the island's gaze was drawn to her, the other powerful female, the one beyond the seam. Her bond to her mate drew the island like the brightest of lights, and for a moment in time, the island paused, caught by the glow.
Yes
, the island thought. It would give her the chance for knowledge, and it would be up to her to pass it on.

*   *   *

Charley marched back up the steps to Rika's house and rapped hard on the door.

Maaka had vanished. If he
was
still on the island, no one would tell her. No one would tell her
anything
. In fact, lately she suspected people were outright avoiding her.

But Rika, she knew things. Rika's parting words gnawed at her heart.

The island will bleed, and people you love will be lost. That is the end you seek, child. Prepare yourself.

How can I prepare myself for? For the unknown?
Charley wondered. She needed to
know.

She lifted her hand to knock again.

The door flew open. Rika stood in the doorway, a slight smile on her face. “Come back for the pineapple muffins, did you, Charley?”

Charley found herself nodding. “Yes.”
Among other things.

“Then by all means, come in.”

Charley walked in, absorbing the same bursts of color in the house, coupled with the same eerie feel of knowledge and truth. But this time Charley was prepared. She didn't even flinch at the tray of muffins and cold bottles of Sprite waiting on the table.

“Please. Sit.” Rika gestured.

Charley sat. Slowly she opened the soda, took a sip, and smiled.

“Rika, thank you for having me, especially since I showed up unannounced.”

Rika tipped her head.

It's a game
, Charley thought. They'd both known she was coming. Charley cut to the heart of the matter; she had no time to play.

“You said people I love will be lost. What can I do to prevent it?”

“Nothing. They are
there
, you are
here
. If they are lost, they must find their own way. They must find themselves.”

Lost, not dead
, Charley thought.

“So they can be found, right?” Charley had the sense they were talking in circles.

“Some,” Rika said. “Not all. Three will be lost forever.”

“Not Thad,” Charley said. “Please tell me Thad is not one of the three.”

Rika stayed silent.

Charley's temper flared. “You can't tell me, or
won't
?”

Rika studied her. “A bit of both. The end is written, but the middle shapes it.”

“So basically you know nothing,” Charley snapped.

Rika's eyes held pity. “You are so young, as they all are. I know the island will keep three. Which three, well, that may change.”

Charley closed her eyes. “There is so much I don't understand.” Her voice ached with frustration. “I want to find something
here
to help them
there
.”

“Tell your friend to look, my child. Then she'll find what she's looking for, right, my child?” Rika's half smile was sharp.

Charley gaped. Those were her words, spoken months ago.
My nana likes to say that you'll find what you're looking for
, she'd told Natalie. And somehow Rika
knew
.

Rika nodded in approval. “Your friend already has the answers she seeks; the riddle's answer lies within. The end is written, but not the future. I will say no more. You can come back, anytime, for my muffins or my company. But I have no more wisdom to offer, no more insight to share. You already have the answers you seek, child, every last one. You know you do.”

She cocked her head at Charley. “Take heart, my child. All is not lost.” She flicked her hand. “Now go. You have somewhere to be.”

“I do?”

“It is noon, my child. There is always somewhere to be at noon. Or not to be,” she added.

So true
, Charley thought. She left, thinking of Thad, praying that he could hear her.

All is not lost
, she thought fiercely.
Tell Skye that she has the answers. Tell her to look inside, that the riddle's answer lies within. And tell her the end is written, but not the future. I love you.

As she ran down the steps, she knew she would not come back.

*   *   *

The seam narrowed, the island retreated.

In three weeks, all here would be lost. Time would declare a victor, as always.

It would be all that survived.

 

CHAPTER

67

SKYE

7 DAYS UNTIL THE AUTUMNAL EQUINOX, NIGHT

Rives won't talk to me, or look at me. He believes I chose Nil over him.
How can he not see that I have no choice?

I wish he could remember his own words.
I think maybe Nil is your destiny, so how can accepting your destiny be selfish?
he asked me the last time we were here. A different hour, a different Nil, but his words still rang true.

How could he forget? How has he lost sight of me?

My entire life has revolved around Nil, even when I didn't know the island existed. My destiny is to end this place, to end
with
this place.

To die. Here.

I don't have a choice.

Nil does have a heart; I know that now. It's black. Diseased. The darkness I've been seeing is the essence of Nil; it's cold and dark and cruel and dead. I see it now as never before. I'm the only one who can defeat it, because I'm the only one who truly understands it. Nil's heart beats with stolen life, powerful and sickening. It must be stopped.

And somehow, we're connected.

We both live, we both die.

It was Nil's plan all along.

If I had my journal, this is what I would write. Instead I write in my head, letting the words flow in my private room, spilling ink the color of Nil's heart on every white wall, erasing the lines each day and starting again. Pouring it all out, in my head.

I have seven days left.

I will make it.

I will write Nil's end.

My name is Skye Bracken and this is my destiny.