Nil (23 page)

A dozen hands shot up at once. As he raised his hand, Sy looked guilty. Beside Sy, Bart’s arms stayed crossed, his expression furious.

“Okay.” I nodded. “Let’s get busy, and get lucky.”

The buzz was back. If anything, it had jacked up a notch.

I looked around for Charley. She wasn’t in sight. I wondered what she was up to, but before I could find out, Talla came up, asking about gliders. Jillian had concerns about supplies, and Johan was on Jillian’s heels, with news about one of the crops. Questions and problems, answers and guesses. Bart strode up as Johan moved away.
Problem
, I thought, taking in Bart’s hard face.

“Did you tell Miguel not to pick me?” he asked.

“No, Bart,” I said, working to keep my voice steady as I highlighted his lack of basic courtesy, “I asked him to name his team. And he did.”

Bart’s voice rose like he’d sucked down helium. “Well, I’ve helped him find wood to carve, and he said he’d pick me. He
promised
.” Now he sounded petulant. And seriously annoying.

“Look, that’s between you and Miguel. All I know is that he named his team, and you weren’t on it.” Even though I’d spoken the truth, I regretted my bluntness. “Maybe next time,” I offered lamely.

He launched into a new argument, decibel level set at full whine. Then like a switch flipped, Bart stopped. “Well, I may not be on this Search, but I have more time than you.” His smug smile erased my small shred of sympathy. “A lot more, like Charley. Think about that.”

I fought the urge to slam my fist into his face. “True. But if someone picks you, don’t forget you’re
support.
Priority rules. Otherwise, you’re on your own.” I returned Bart’s smile.

“People are getting tired of you and your rules,” Bart insisted. “You’ll see.”

“Not my rules,” I shot back. “City rules. And you’re either in or out.” Without waiting for a response, I left Bart, found Rives, and unloaded my Bart frustration in a near growl.

“Has anyone been banished for being a slacker?” Rives asked in a low voice.

“I’ve never known anyone to get banished, period. But if he doesn’t pull his weight, no one will pick him, and he’s pretty much screwing himself. Gates don’t drop in the City very often.”

Rives nodded, but he still looked troubled. We changed topics, and as Rives left, Charley’s hand slid into mine.

“You’ve been busy,” she said. “Is there anyone you didn’t talk to?”

“You.”

For a moment, we stood without speaking, staring at each other, which should have been weird but wasn’t.

Slowly, savoring each second, I lowered my head and kissed her. Long and soft, but I felt the heat and ached for more. With superhuman effort, I made myself break away.

Watching her eyes flicker open to firelight, I asked, “Can I walk you back?”

“Definitely,” she said. “Especially with those crazy Nil squirrels on the loose.”

“Insane rodent protection, at your service.” I grinned.

“So we head out in the morning?” she asked.

“Dawn.” I nodded. “Island adventure awaits.”

Charley smiled, then gave an odd laugh. “You know something funny? My dream was to travel. Back home, I have a huge world map across one wall. I’d sit on my bed, staring at the map, dreaming of all the exotic places I wanted to go.”

“Let me guess. Nil wasn’t on your map.”

“I don’t think Nil’s on anyone’s map.”

“True.” I thought of the island, nonexistent yet real, and of Li, out there alone.

“But it’s exotic, that’s for sure,” Charley said. “So, where’re we headed tomorrow?”

“The black lava field, the south one.”

“There’s two?” She frowned.

“Yeah. They bracket the red flow, the one where you found your clothes. Different colors, different flows.”

“Exactly how many hot spots are there?” she asked. “Places where gates flash the most?”

“We’re not sure. The current Nil software is a little dated.” I grinned sideways at Charley. “Right now people seem to be having the best luck in the lava fields and by the base of the mountain. I’d add Black Bay to the list, too. It’s a moving target, but it’s all we’ve got.” Frustration made my words sharp, but my beef wasn’t with Charley, it was with Nil. With the whole marionette game.

Three seconds later, Charley’s A-frame was right in front of us. I hated to leave; the idea of waking with Charley in my arms was killer. But something told me Nat needed Charley’s company more.

Another day
, I told myself.
I’ve got time.
Right.

Outside her A-frame, I pulled her close. “I hate to say good night, but I don’t think Nat should be alone. But,” I tucked her hair behind her ear, “as your island guide, I think this moment calls for a good night kiss. As part of the tour package, of course.”

“By all means, let’s stay on schedule,” Charley whispered.

As her hands wrapped around my waist, I kissed her, losing my fingers in her hair and my mind in the process. We broke apart at the same moment.

“Good night, Mr. Island Guide,” Charley said, smiling. She took a step, then stopped, surprise registering on her face. “I just realized something.”

“What?”

“How is it that I feel like I know you better than any guy I’ve ever met, but I don’t even know your last name?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. But since you’re curious, it’s Blake. Thaddeus Blake.” Smiling, I tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear. “What’s yours?”

“Crowder.”

“Charley Crowder,” I said, savoring the words. “I like it.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “You’re a mess.”

“Only with you,” I said, brushing hair away from her eyes. “Always with you.”

She squeezed my hand. “You’re definitely a mess. A hot mess. Now you’d better get some sleep. You’ve got a big trip tomorrow, Thaddeus Blake.”

When I went to bed, I felt like I’d just swept the men’s finals by a landslide, the rush was just that good. Charley’s feelings echoed mine, feelings that went beyond the borders of Nil.

If Nil lets them.

I sucked in air. The same fear I’d been fighting for days sliced deep, only sharper, and more concrete. Bart’s snide comment had struck a nerve. He was right; my time was dwindling.

Eyes wide open, I lay in the darkness, shockingly aware that my fate tracked Kevin’s—a boy waiting on the other side, with a heart as hopeful as mine—if I was lucky. And after 290 days, no one had to tell me that luck was as tough to come by on Nil as a gate.

CHAPTER

31

CHARLEY

DAY 24, AFTER DARK

The second I entered the hut, Natalie sat up. “I’m so glad you took my advice and kissed Thad.”

“How do you know I kissed him?”

“Please. I think everyone saw that kiss by the fire. And it’s about damn time.” She smiled, then she looked down. Twisting her covers between her fingers, she spoke quietly. “I know this sounds old school, but don’t waste a minute. Not one. Time flies here, faster than you’re ready for. No regrets, okay?”

“Okay.” I nodded.

Natalie looked up. “So if you want to stay with Thad tonight, I understand.”

I felt slow, realizing Thad had already considered it and decided against it. “The thought hadn’t occurred to me,” I admitted.

“Well, don’t feel like you have to stay with me. My feelings won’t be hurt, I promise.”

“It’s okay. Really.” I smiled as I curled up on the bed across from hers. “I’m good.”

I meant it. I wanted to be with Thad, but I also needed a minute to ground myself. Plus, Thad had sensed Natalie could use some company.

“You sure?” she asked.

“Totally.” I nodded. “I know how lonely this hut feels with only one person. I hate being alone, especially at night.”

“Seriously? You made it eleven nights by yourself in the creepiest place ever.”

“Barely.” I shivered. “At one point, I lost it. I mean really lost it. Bawled like a baby.”

Sometimes I thought there was something wrong with me because I rarely cried. I didn’t even cry at my granddaddy’s funeral, even though we were close and I missed him terribly. When I thought tears should fall, they didn’t. But I’d cried here, when I realized I was totally alone. And I hadn’t cried since.

Natalie was staring at me. “Honey, I lost it the minute I woke up. And for the next few weeks, I kept freaking about stupid stuff, like all the school I was missing, and how behind I would be when I got back. Then I realized I’d be lucky if I got back.” She shook her head. “Don’t feel bad about losing it. Nil has a way of getting to everyone, sooner or later.”

I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant.

“So you and Thad, huh?” Natalie grinned, a wicked Em grin. “I like it.”

“Me too.” I couldn’t help smiling. “You know what’s crazy? I didn’t even know his last name until tonight.”

“What is it?”

“What?”

“Thad’s last name,” Natalie said. “What is it?”

“Blake,” I answered, surprised.

“Kevin’s is Radford. Mine’s Bourdean. Natalie Bourdean.”

“Charley Crowder.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Charley Crowder.” She chuckled, but under the laugh, she sounded exhausted.

“I’m glad you’re back, but I’m not, ya know?” I said.

“Yeah.” Her voice was small. “I know.”

“How many gates did y’all see? Jason said one flashed near the rain forest, but too far away to catch.”

“So far away I didn’t see it, but Jason swears it was there. It doesn’t matter.” She sighed. “I didn’t catch it.”

“It just means that gate wasn’t yours. You’ll catch one, Natalie. You’ll make it.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Me too
, I thought, but I said, “Did you see any others?”

“One, the first day, near the hills. A bird flew into it, and it collapsed.”

“Any inbound?”

“Nope.”

I nodded, taking mental notes.

“Natalie, the big carving, the one by the Arches. Thad calls it the Man in the Maze. He said there’s an identical one across the island, only that one has a woman instead of a man.”

“There is.”

“So what do they mean?”

“Who knows?” Natalie yawned. “Maybe someone had a lot of time on their hands.”

“But the carvings are so precise, they must be here for a reason,” I insisted. “Maybe someone was trying to leave us a clue. Maybe Nil is the maze, and the carvings tell us how to escape.”

Natalie looked thoughtful. “It’s a nice thought, but I don’t see how.”

“I don’t either, but I think the carvings are important. I just don’t know why.”
I’m missing something
, I thought.
But what?

The night breeze wafted in, making me shiver. I missed being warm at night, which made me think of Thad and our kiss by the fire. Nothing missing there.

“So when you get home, what’s the thing you’ll miss most about Nil?”

“Nothing.” Natalie’s voice was flat.

“Really? Nothing? What about the sunsets, the black sand beaches? The coconut soap?” I joked.

“Nope. I’m over it. The stress, the running. The merry-go-round of noon. I’ve seen too much death, too many noons. All I’ll miss is the people, but if you think about it, that’s not really Nil.”

“I guess,” I lied. Because for me, the people
were
Nil. I realized that even though we shared this hut, Natalie was in a different place—one I hoped I’d never see.

We stopped talking as Natalie dozed off. I curled into a ball under the thin covers, trying to get warm. Despite the moonlight, darkness crept in, cold and complete, like the dying whisper of a gate. But it was the darkness in my head that was the hardest to shake. For the first time, the darkness had a name. It was the daywatch.

Thad had seventy-five days.

CHAPTER

32

CHARLEY

DAY 25, DAWN

Light peeked inside the hut, a perfect streak of gold. My first thought was
Thad
.

He had seventy-five days left. Exactly seventy-five noons.

Then I thought of Natalie, who had even fewer. Beside me, her bed sat empty. I had the weirdest flash of home, of Em’s empty bed hugging the other wall in my room. But while Em was probably out hunting the perfect fake ID, Natalie was out hunting gates.

And I was supposed to be with her.

I threw on my sandals, grabbed my satchel, and flew outside. The fire ring smoldered without flame. Two fresh logs sat on top, waiting to burn. And like my first morning here, Thad stood at the Wall, running his hands across the wood. His fingers traced carvings, which now I knew were names. His hand hovered over my name, tracing the
e-y
.

I kissed the back of his neck.

“Morning, Mr. Blake.”

“Morning, sleepy.” He turned and kissed my head.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Because you needed the rest. If you’d slept much longer, I would’ve woken you, but now you’re up. Let’s get you set and then we’ll roll.”

Talla jogged over as we met up with Natalie and Jason by the Shack. “It’s good to have our Leader back,” she said, shooting a pointed look at me. Then she gave Natalie a fast hug. “Good luck, Nat! Run fast.” Stepping back, Talla snapped a nod at the three of us. “Watch her back, okay? See you soon.”

Watching Talla trot away, her back ramrod straight, her intensity barely contained, understanding dawned.
Talla is Talla
, Thad had once said. I’d finally figured her out. She was a fighter. More than competitive, she was determined to win—to beat the island odds, and she needed a strong Leader to do it. And that Leader was Thad. Talla and I didn’t always click, but I finally understood her.

Rives pulled Thad aside, gesturing past the A-frames. Thad listened intently, and after clasping Rives’s shoulder, Thad walked back, his eyes scanning the City perimeter.

“Let’s pack and roll,” he said as he hefted his pack.

“And hope the gates roll, too,” Jason said. Spear in hand, he started after Natalie, who set a brisk pace. We followed, heading south.