Nightshade (20 page)

“It’s forbidden.”

Shay didn’t back off. “That’s what makes it interesting,” he teased. “Plus I’m in the middle of your world and don’t know why. Neither do you. Maybe this book will explain it to us.”

I put my hand on his chest, pushing him against the passenger door.

“Listen to me, Shay. The laws in my world are final, punishments severe. I thought I’d made that clear. Forbidden means forbidden. If a Keeper found out that I’d read that book, they would kill me.”

“Like they’d kill you if they knew you saved me from the bear?”

“Exactly. That’s how serious it is.”

“These Keepers sound like model citizens.” He shoved the book in my face, making me shrink back.

“Don’t!” I fisted my hands on my thighs, hating how uneasy I felt. I wanted to know more about my masters, but I was terrified of what it might cost me.

Shay covered one of my hands with his, pulling my fingers out of their tight clench. I shivered when his wrist brushed the bare skin of my leg. “Calla, there’s a map of the cave in this book. It has information that can help us.”

I watched his fingers stroke my palm. “We can’t let anyone know that we’re reading it.”

His hand stilled. “Does anyone from school go to the public library?”

“No,” I said. “We all use the school library.”

“I like the Vail library; it’s much better than the one at the Mountain School. Too many gum-snapping bimbos there more interested in gossip than reading.”

“Don’t knock gossip.” I pinched his hand. “It makes the world go round.”

“Too true,” he said, laughing softly. “We can find out what’s in this book. It might be slow, but we’ll be able to pull a translation together.”

“I can’t read it,” I said, twisting my fingers tightly around his. “I’m just too afraid. And I suck at Latin.”

“So you want me to do all the work and just tell you what’s in the book?” Shay said. “Nice try, grasshopper.”

“I can still help,” I said. “While you translate, I’ll do research. Look up secondary materials that you need to understand the history. I can also answer questions about my world, things that might not make sense as you read them.”

He nodded, sliding the Keeper’s text into his backpack. “That would be helpful. But how are you going to manage to keep it quiet? I thought you weren’t supposed to mix with humans.”

I leaned against the headrest. “Well, one of the new orders I just received is to spend more time with you. The exact words were that I should be your ‘de facto bodyguard.’”

His eyes lit up. “That doesn’t sound bad at all.” I stopped his hand when he began moving it up my thigh.

“I still have rules to follow.”

“Your rules, not mine,” he teased before I pushed his fingers onto the seat. “The library is open until 8 p.m. Monday through Thursday. As much as I’d like to cut school every day, I’ll probably just work on this from four to eight on those nights. Can you meet me?”

“Yeah. I only have patrol on Sundays.” I chewed on my lip as I committed myself to treason.

“Good. Then that’s our plan.” A devious grin split his face. “It’s going to be fun.”

“Risking our lives is fun?”

“Why not?” he said, opening the passenger door. “I’ll start on this tonight and maybe I’ll have some research questions for you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Shay.”

“It’s been a pleasure, she-wolf.” He climbed out of the Jeep before I could hit him.

A SHINY BLACK GRAND CHEROKEE WAS
parked in our driveway. I frowned, wondering why Ren’s SUV was still at our house. I walked in the front door and heard piano chords in a minor key lilting from the living room. Ren was seated at the kitchen table. He stood as I approached.

“What are you doing here?” The question came out more sharply than I intended; the Bane alpha had never visited my home before.

“I spent some time talking with your brother,” he replied, glancing toward the stairs. “And then I waited for you to come home. Your parents said it would be all right.”

“Why?” I rested my hands on the back of a kitchen chair. “I mean, why are you waiting for me?”

“I wanted to talk with you.”

“About what?”

He looked back at the stairs. “Can we go to your room?”

I bit my lip, suddenly feeling a little dizzy. “I guess. It might be messy.” I envisioned dunes of clothes we’d have to navigate. “Just let me check in with my mom and dad, okay?”

“Of course.”

I rolled my tense shoulders back as I walked to the living room, trying to loosen the muscles.

I had paused in the hall, staying out of sight, when I heard their anxious voices. Something was up.

“The boy’s nearly a man and built like the best sort of warrior,” my father said. “There’s no sense worrying over it. And Calla’s always been a good fighter; she’ll hold her own.”

“Maybe,” my mother replied. “But why the change? Neither of them will expect it. It’s a harsh trial. They’re so young.”

“Only a few years younger than we were, Naomi. The point of the trial is to prove their ability to fight as a pair,” my father said. I heard the clink of glass as he poured himself a drink. “It’s still a kill like any other.”

“It is
not
.” My mother’s voice shook. “She’s never killed a—”

At the word
kill,
I dropped my bag. Their voices stopped when it thudded on the hardwood floor.

Great. No sense in hiding now.
I kicked my bag toward the kitchen.

When I walked into the living room, my parents looked startled.

“Good evening, Calla,” my mother said, working to compose herself. “We didn’t hear you come in.”

My father leaned back in his leather chair; his eyes were closed, but I knew he was awake. Chopin’s notes trickled around me like a slow-moving stream under a moonless sky.

“Hi.” I clasped my hands behind my back. “Ren and I are going upstairs to chat for a while.”

“That sounds lovely, dear,” my mother said. “Don’t you think that will be nice for Calla, Stephen?”

“Should be fine.” An uncharacteristic smile curved along one corner of my father’s mouth. “Ren is an impressive young man . . . nothing like Emile. That was a pleasant surprise.”

I blinked at him in disbelief. He continued to smile.

“Trust me, Cal. Your life will be much more pleasant than if you’d been mated to Ren’s father.”

“Uh, okay.” I started back toward the kitchen, wishing I knew what they’d been talking about earlier.

“Calla.” My mother’s coaxing voice stopped me. “It is of course perfectly acceptable for Renier to call on you, but remember that you are a lady. Don’t bring shame on yourself by making poor choices.”

“No, of course not.” I kept my eyes on the hardwood floor, thinking about Shay’s kiss and how much more I’d wanted from him.

A sly smile hovered on Ren’s lips when I returned to the kitchen table.

“Let’s go, then.” I waved for him to follow me upstairs. “So you talked to Ansel?”

“Mason called me while I was driving your brother home. He wanted to make sure Ansel didn’t get any ideas about vigilante justice.”

I paused in front of my bedroom door.

“Why did he call
you
?” The news stung; Mason really didn’t trust me.

“You don’t have to be territorial, Lily,” Ren said with a quiet laugh. “He suggested that because you’re Ansel’s sister, the cub might not take your warnings to heart. Besides, I’m the alpha wolf of the pack now. It’s protocol that they come to me first. Even before you.”

“I guess.” I felt a spike of resentment. With Ren as my partner, I could no longer claim final authority for my packmates. Alpha males had more clout than females. Ren ruled the pack. It was my job to support him and keep the others in line.

“It’s not about you, Cal,” he said. “It’s just the rules.”

I nodded, opening the bedroom door. “Oh no.” It was much worse than I’d imagined.

He whistled. “If you hate clothes so much, why do you have so many? I can’t see the floor.”

“Give me a sec.” I gathered clothes in my arms, throwing them at my closet.

“Don’t trouble yourself on my account.” When I’d cleared the bed, Ren stretched out on it, pulling over a couple of pillows so he was propped up.

He crooked his finger at me. “Come here.”

My heart stuck in my throat.

“I won’t bite, Lily.” He flashed his teeth. No sharp canines in sight.

I walked slowly to the bed, pausing at its side. “Ren, did you know about Mason and Nev?”

He nodded.

“How long?”

“About six months, I guess.” He shrugged.

“Is the rest of your pack okay with it?”

“More or less.” He sounded uneasy.

“What does that mean?”

He sighed. “Sabine has no problem with it. She loves Nev, always has. And Cosette pretty much lets Sabine think for her, so she’s fine too.”

“So it’s Dax,” I said.

Ren didn’t reply, but he rolled onto his side, reaching out to grab my wrists.

“Dax isn’t okay,” I pressed, even as he pulled me onto the bed next to him. My pulse went wild.

“Dax thinks it’s too much of a risk to let Nev and Mason be together,” he said as he tucked my body next to his. “He sees it as a weakness. A threat to the pack.”

“That’s too bad,” I said, marveling at the steadiness of Ren’s voice.
How can he be so calm?

My stomach twisted.
That’s right, he does this all the time.

“It doesn’t matter.” I felt the muscles of his chest tighten. “Dax knows I’m the alpha, and I gave Nev the okay. He and Mason should be together if it’s what they want.”

“You and I are on the same page, then,” I said, hiding my doubts. I had the feeling that Dax hadn’t swallowed Ren’s order happily.

“We are.” His face hardened into sharp angles. “It won’t be a problem.”

“Good.” I was pressed so tightly against him, I wondered if I’d ever be able to relax. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“I need to know that you’re okay.” His eyes softened and his voice became incredibly quiet. “So much has happened lately, it’s been hard on all of us.”

He paused, lowering his voice even further. “But it’s different for alphas.”

“It is.” I held my breath when his fingers traced the shape of my collarbone.

Ren pushed his fingers through the waves of hair that spilled over my shoulder. “I can be here for you, if you let me.”

He bent his face toward mine.

“What are you doing?” I tried to pull away, but his hand slipped from my hair to cup the nape of my neck.

When he whispered, his warm breath brushed over my lips. “Just let me kiss you, Calla. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to. No one has to know.”

My lips parted as I drew a sudden, startled breath and in that instant his mouth was on mine, soft as velvet. I closed my eyes against the rush of a hundred wings that suddenly beat in my chest and soared through my body. His scent was all around me. Leather, sandalwood, bonfires in autumn. He pulled back, but only for the sake of moving his lips to trail over my neck.

My blood was on fire and I was shaking.
Is this really happening?

I couldn’t stop thinking about Shay in the clearing. About asking him to kiss me. The electric touch of his lips on mine.

But this is where I belong.
I tried to push the memories back.

Ren stroked my knee, his fingers wandering up my thigh, sliding beneath the hem of my dress.

I grabbed his wrist. “Wait.”

He didn’t free his arm from my grasp but continued kissing my collar bone.

“Let’s skip the waiting part,” he murmured into my skin.

“Please, Ren.” The frenzied beating of my heart was overwhelming. “It’s too fast. We’re supposed to wait for the union.”

He rolled onto his side with a low growl. “I think you’ll discover that delayed gratification is overrated.”

“I’m sorry.” I took his hand. “It’s not that I don’t want . . .”

I lost the words, realizing I didn’t actually know what I wanted.

“I can help you with that.” He reached for me and I jumped off the bed.

“I’m serious, Ren.”

“Right.” He slowly stood up. “This is new territory for you. Stupid sequestering, the Keepers better not have turned you into a nun or something.”

I snatched a book off my nightstand and threw it at him. “Get out of my room!”

He caught the book in midair and laid it on the bed. “Easy, Lily. That was a bad joke. I didn’t mean any offense.”

I shook with humiliation. “You don’t know what it’s been like.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” He came to my side and cupped my face. “I’m sure it hasn’t been fun. You deserve better.”

I nodded. He lowered his head, softly brushing his lips over mine. “I’ll show you how much fun it can be. You need to trust me.”