Nightshade (17 page)

I inclined my head to Logan, while Ren’s face remained livid. The rest of the pack murmured acknowledgment of his orders.

“Very well, then. I believe that brings you up to date. Should any questions arise, your alphas should bring them to me. Lumine and Efron have agreed on this point.”

Logan smiled, descending from his perch. The assembled wolves began to stir from their seats, but he snapped his fingers, commanding our attention.

“There is one last matter to discuss.”

Ten pairs of eyes focused on their new master.

“Ren raised the very important question of how you will be paired in the future.”

Ice-cold fingers wrapped around my throat as I waited for Logan to speak.

“Guardian mates have always been selected by Keepers so as to ensure the most beneficial outcome for our packs,” he said. “I’m sure you can understand the utility of such a practice.”

No one spoke. Logan’s casual tone tore at me like barbed wire. “I will, as my ancestors did, seek the counsel of your alphas in such matters when the time arises. You are all very young; I don’t anticipate making such decisions for some time. However, it is clear that you’ve already begun to form strong attachments to each other.”

His slow smile revealed the gleam of perfect teeth. “This pleases me; it signals a strong pack whose loyalty will aid them in their duties. But I must remind you that the only sanctioned pairing in the Haldis pack is that between Ren and Calla, the alpha mates. Though you might be inclined to form your own matches, I hold the
only authority
to choose your mates. This law is one of our oldest and most important. Failure to respect it will be dealt with summarily and severely.”

I couldn’t breathe.

Logan reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a pack of Djarum Blacks. He tapped the box on the back of the chair, withdrew a cigarette, and placed it between his lips.

“That will be all.”

For a moment no one moved. Silence covered the room like heavy fog. Then Ren stood, jerking his head toward the door. The other Banes slowly rose. I hoped my legs wouldn’t give out as I got to my feet. I couldn’t look at my pack; my stomach slammed around inside me like a pinball. I had taken only a few steps when Logan’s silky voice trailed after the departing wolves.

“Mason, could I have a moment?”

I froze. Mason stood just behind me, his body locked in place. I looked at Logan; his eyes gleamed in the red haze of the setting sun that filled the room. Smoke spilled from his lips and the scent of cloves wafted around us.

Mason’s eyes met mine. A thin smile appeared on his lips and he began to turn. I stepped toward him, clasping his wrist.

“No.” My whisper cut sharply between Mason and me. He tensed and gave an almost-imperceptible shake of his head, twisting out of my grasp.

“Calla!” Logan’s whip-like exclamation lashed at me. “You have been dismissed.”

An arm reached around my shoulders and I was pulled toward the door. When I’d been led well away from the commons, I wrenched free of the strong arm that held me, glaring at Ren. Dax and Fey stood nearby, faces grim. Ansel and Bryn disappeared around a corner without looking back.

“I have to go in there.” I tried to walk away, but Ren grabbed my upper arms, wheeling me around.

“You can’t.” He glanced down the hall.

I followed his gaze, watching Sabine lead Neville toward the school’s main entrance. Her arms were around his waist. I could see her lips moving rapidly as she leaned against him. Cosette trailed after them, though she kept a respectful distance.

“I will not let this happen,” I said. “He is in my pack, Ren. His welfare is my responsibility.”

“He’s in my pack now too,” Ren murmured. “I’m so sorry, Calla. I wish you didn’t have to go through this. I know how hard it is.”

Dax made a disapproving sound and Ren threw him a sharp look.

“Don’t let it eat you, Cal,” Fey said, eyes bright and hard. “You haven’t done anything wrong. This is Mason’s mess.”

“How can you say that?” I gasped.

She looked away. “Because it’s true and you have more important things to focus on.”

“She’s right,” Dax said with a rumbling growl. “We can’t be mixed up with this nonsense. Let it go.”

A stinging filled my eyes. I looked at the floor, digging my nails into my palms, reopening the wounds there. Ren watched the crimson drops hit the floor. He bared his teeth at Dax and Fey.

“Get out of here.”

Dax bristled, but he jerked his head at the school entrance. Fey took his hand and they walked away.

“Calla.” Ren’s hands slid from my upper arms to my waist and he tried to pull me toward him.

“Don’t.” I squirmed out of his grasp. “Don’t try to tell me it gets better.”

His jaw clenched, but he didn’t attempt to touch me again.

“It never gets better.” A sheen of moisture covered his dark eyes. “It gets worse.”

I wrapped my arms around my waist, not caring about the blood that stained my dress.

“Find Ansel. Please get him home. I need to stay here.”

I heard him draw a sharp breath of protest and I held up my hand. “I’ll wait for Logan to leave. I have to see Mason.”

Ren shook his head. “I’ll stay with you. We’re in this together now. You can ask Bryn to drive your brother.”

“Bryn needs to stay away from my brother! Or did you miss the lecture we just got?”

“Calm down.” His voice dropped low. “Logan hasn’t rung the death knell for relationships in the pack. He said he’d take advice from us, and we’ll give it. Your brother and Bryn just need to be careful. We can help them.”

“I can’t think about that now,” I said, staring at my hands, watching the punctured skin close up before my eyes. “Please, just go. I want to talk to Mason alone.”

“Fine.” He pulled on the leather jacket he had draped over his arm. “I’ll make sure your brother gets back to your house.”

He had already taken several long strides down the hall when I murmured, “Thank you.”

I made my way to the girls’ bathroom and turned scalding hot water on my palms, rinsing caked blood off the now-closed cuts. Steam rose around me as I gripped the sides of the basin. When grief’s attack subsided, I walked slowly back toward the commons, pausing frequently to listen for approaching footsteps or voices. When I neared the double doors, I ducked behind a row of lockers and waited, my forehead pressed against the cool steel.

After what seemed like hours, but I knew had only been minutes, I heard the doors swing open. I peered around the row of lockers and watched Logan walk away in a smooth loping gait. When he’d disappeared around a corner, I left my hiding place. Once through the doors I paused, forcing myself to move with care.

Smoke tendrils twisted through the air, a heady mixture of cloves and tobacco. Mason sat in the center of the room. He leaned forward, his elbow propped on one knee, hand covering his eyes. A slender black cigarette burned in the fingers of his other hand.

I took slow steps forward and Mason lifted his face, smiling wearily. He slouched in the chair and took a drag of his cigarette.

“Hey, Calla.” He tilted his head back, blowing rings of smoke into the air.

I opened my mouth to speak, but my throat closed. Mason watched me inch across the space between us. When I was close enough to touch him, I hesitantly stretched my hand toward his shoulder. I jerked back when he jumped to his feet, stepping out of my reach. He dropped the cigarette and crushed it out with his foot.

“Let’s get out of here.”

He swept past me and through the door so quickly I had to run to catch him.

“Mason.” I at last found my voice.

“Don’t say anything. It’s not worth it.” He stopped in front of his locker, rapidly turning the dial.

“Tell me what happened.”

He swore as he missed a number in the combination and had to start over again. “Nothing happened. Not yet.” The lock clicked and he flung the door open.

I took a deep breath, but my relief was quickly replaced by anger. “What did he want from you?”

A low sound, half laugh, half growl, emerged from his throat. “What do you think? He’s Efron Bane’s son.”

“No.” I closed my eyes, leaning against the locker next to his. “I just can’t accept it.”

He slammed the door shut, turning to face me. “Neither can I, Cal. Logan’s had his eye on me for some time, but I didn’t know if he’d make an issue of it. Now I have my answer.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked, hating Logan and Mason’s inability to disobey him.

He threaded his arm through the strap of his messenger bag, keeping his eyes averted. “I don’t know. But I think I bought myself some time.”

“Time?”

He ran his hands through his hair, pausing to rub his temples. “Logan might be inheriting our pack, but he’s still young . . . and he’s afraid.”

I couldn’t imagine any Keeper being afraid. “Of what?”

“Of his elders, especially his father. I said that if he pushed me, I’d get Ren to tell Efron about it.”

I picked at the scab on my hand, ignoring the stinging it brought to my still-tender skin. “You think that will make a difference?”

“It will,” he said. “This is the one time where the Keepers’ ‘traditions’ might work in my favor.”

“Traditions?” I frowned.

He struck the locker with his fist, leaving a dent. “It’s a nice way of saying ‘bigotry.’ Until he has more power, Logan is still under the close watch of Efron and the other Keepers. Taking our pack on is like a trial for him—to see if he’s worthy of the post. If I keep reminding him of that, I think I can stop him from . . .” He couldn’t finish.

“You have to stop him. You can’t—”

“I won’t.” He finally looked at me. “The Keepers tolerate a variety of tastes, but only in a recreational sense. Logan would never admit to his father or any of the rest of the Keepers that he’s gay.”

I bit my lip. “Mason, why didn’t you tell me?”

“About me and Nev?”

I kept my eyes down. “You don’t trust me.”

He put his hand on my shoulder. “It’s not that, Cal. I do trust you.”

I raised my eyes to his, balking at the sadness I found there.

“But you’re one step away from the Keepers,” he continued. “Who I am, who I love . . . they’d never accept it. Neither would the elders in the pack, not my parents. No one. It would be the end for me and for Nev. And not just for our relationship. It would be
the end.
”

He seemed so calm, I couldn’t stand it any longer.

“How long can you stall Logan?” I blurted. “How long will you be safe?”

He pulled out his cell phone and sent a quick text. “What makes you think I’m ever safe, Calla?”

“Maybe I could talk to Lumine,” I said.

“Don’t go there, Cal,” he murmured, reaching for my hand. “If you do anything, try to interfere at all, Logan will make an example of you. What good would it do any of us if you were handed over to a wraith? Or to Efron? You don’t have a choice. None of us do. This is who we are. Guardians serve. Right?”

I couldn’t answer, so I just gripped his fingers tighter.

For a moment, his voice trembled. “It isn’t your fault. I’ll be okay.”

Then he pulled his hand from mine and walked away.

I SLID DOWN THE LOCKER AND TUCKED MY
legs beneath me.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been sitting there when I caught the scent of unfurling leaves and clouds heavy with rain.

“Calla?”

I looked up. Shay stood a few feet away.

“Are you all right?” he asked, but didn’t come closer.

I shook my head, not trusting my voice, certain if I tried to speak, I’d snarl at him. It wasn’t Shay I was angry with. Not anymore.

He crouched so he was at my level.

“What are you doing here?” I managed to ask without growling.

“A hike sounded better than class,” he said. “But I still need to grab my homework.”

“Oh, okay.” I started to rise, suddenly desperate to get out of the school, but in my haste my foot caught on my bag and I stumbled.

Shay darted forward, taking my faltering as a sign of imminent emotional breakdown. “Calla, what happened to you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, feeling my outrage boil up again.

Shay’s grip on my arms tightened. “Did someone hurt you?”

I shook my head, watching him, running my tongue over my lips. What if I didn’t get mad but got even?

Shaking away the slight pinch of guilt, I took advantage of his assumption that I was ready to cry and let him pull me into an embrace.

“Can’t you tell me anything?” he asked. “I’d like to help you.”

I rested my forehead against his neck, knowing that what I wanted from him wasn’t help. The cool scent of his skin soothed my temper, but I heard his heartbeat jump when I touched him. It only made me want him more. I let myself press into him, reveling in the way the tensing of his muscles ignited my skin.