Nights with Uncle Remus (40 page)

“Brer Wolf say he feel sorter dat away hisse'f, un he ax Brer Rabbit w'at make 'im change his min' so quick.

“ ‘Bless you, Brer Wolf, I had needs ter change it,' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee.

“Brer Wolf, he ax 'im how come.

“ ‘All about bein' burnt up in a holler log, Brer Wolf, en w'en you gits time I wish you be so good ez ter bu'n me up some mo',' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee.

“Brer Wolf, he ax 'im how so. Brer Rabbit say:

“ ‘I'm fear'd ter tell you, Brer Wolf, kaze I don't want de news ter git out.'

“ ‘Brer Wolf vow he won't tell nobody on de top side er de worl'. Brer Rabbit say:

“ ‘I done fin' out, Brer Wolf, dat w'en you git in a holler tree un somebody sets it a-fier, dat de natal honey des oozles out uv it, un mor'n dat, atter you git de honey all over you, tain't no use ter try ter burn you up, kaze de honey will puzzuv you. Don't 'ny me dis favor, Brer Wolf, kaze I done pick me out a n'er holler tree,' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee.

“Brer Wolf, he wanter put right out den un dar, un Brer Rabbit say dat des de kinder man w'at he bin huntin' fer. Dey took deyse'f off un 'twan't long 'fo' dey came ter de tree w'at Brer Rabbit say he done pick out. W'en dey git dar, Brer Wolf, he so greedy fer ter git a tas'e er de honey dat he beg un beg Brer Rabbit fer ter let 'im git in de holler. Brer Rabbit, he hol' back, but Brer Wolf beg so hard dat Brer Rabbit 'gree ter let 'im git in de holler.

“Brer Wolf, he got in, he did, un Brer Rabbit stuff de hole full er dry leaves un trash, un den he got 'im a chunk er fier un totch 'er off. She smoked un smoked, un den she bust out in a blaze. Brer Rabbit, he pile up rocks, un brush, un sticks, so Brer Wolf can't git out. Terreckly Brer Wolf holler:

“ ‘Gittin' mighty hot, Brer Rabbit! I aint see no honey yit.'

Brer Rabbit he pile on mo' trash, un holler back:

“ ‘Don't be in no hurry, Brer Wolf; you'll see it un tas'e it too.'

“Fier burn un burn, wood pop like pistol. Brer Wolf, he holler:

“ ‘Gittin' hotter un hotter, Brer Rabbit. No honey come yit.'

“ ‘Hol' still, Brer Wolf, hit'll come.'

“ ‘Gimme a'r, Brer Rabbit; I'm a-chokin'.'

“ ‘Fresh a'r make honey sour. Des hol' still, Brer Wolf!'

“ ‘
Ow!
she gittin' hotter en hotter, Brer Rabbit!'

“ ‘Des hol' right still, Brer Wolf; mos' time fer de honey!'

“ ‘
Ow!-ow!
I'm a-burnin', Brer Rabbit!'

“ ‘Wait fer de honey, Brer Wolf.'

“ ‘I can't stan' it, Brer Rabbit.'

“ ‘Stan' it like I did, Brer Wolf.'

“Brer Rabbit he pile on de trash un de leaves. He say:

“ ‘I'll gin you honey, Brer Wolf; de same kinder honey you wanted ter gimme.'

“Un it seem like ter me,” said Aunt Tempy, pleased at the interest the little boy had shown, “dat it done Brer Wolf des right.”

LII

The little boy had heard Uncle Remus lamenting that his candle was getting rather short, and he made it his business to go around the house and gather all the pieces he could find. He carried these to the old man, who received them with the liveliest satisfaction.

“Now dish yer sorter look lak sump'n, honey. W'en ole Brer Jack come back, en Sis Tempy git in de habits er 'hangin' 'roun', we'll des light some er dese yer, en folks'll come by en see de shine, en dey'll go off en 'low dat hit's de night des 'fo' camp-meetin' at ole Remus house.

“I got little piece dar in my chist w'at you brung me long time ergo, en I 'low ter myse'f dat ef shove ever git ter be push,
⁸⁸
I'd des draw 'er out en light 'er up.”

“Mamma says Daddy Jack is coming back Sunday,” said the little boy.

“Dat w'at I year talk,” replied the old man.

“What did he go off for, Uncle Remus?”

“Bless yo' soul, honey! Brer Jack bleedz ter go en see yo' Unk Jeems. He b'leeve de worl' go wrong ef he aint do dat. Dat ole nigger b'leeve he white, mon. He come up yer fum down de country whar de Lord done fersook um too long 'go ter talk 'bout—he come up yer en he put on mo' a'rs dan w'at I dast ter do. Not dat I'm keerin', kaze goodness knows I aint, yit I notices dat w'en I has ter go some'rs, dey's allers a great ter-do 'bout w'at is I'm a gwine fer, en how long is I'm a gwine ter stay; en ef I aint back at de ve'y minit, dars Mars. John a growlin', en Miss Sally a vowin' dat she gwine ter put me on de block.”
⁸⁹

Perhaps Uncle Remus's jealousy was more substantial than he was willing to admit; but he was talking merely to see what the little boy would say. The child, however, failed to appreciate the situation, seeing which the old man quickly changed the subject.

“Times is mighty diffunt fum w'at dey use ter wuz, kaze de time has bin dat ef ole Brer Rabbit had er run'd up wid Brer Jack w'iles he comin' fum yo' Unk Jeems place, he'd er outdone 'im des ez sho' ez de worl' stan's. Deze days de Rabbits has ter keep out de way er folks, but in dem days, folks had ter keep out der way er ole Brer Rabbit. Aint I never tell you 'bout how Brer Rabbit whirl in en outdo Mr. Man?”

“About the meat tied to the string, Uncle Remus?”

“
Shoo!
Dat aint a drap in de bucket, honey. Dish yer wuz de time w'en ole Brer Rabbit wuz gwine 'long de big road, en he meet Mr. Man drivin' long wid a waggin chock full er money.”

“Where did he get so much money, Uncle Remus?”

“Bruisin' 'round en peddlin' 'bout. Mr. Man got w'at lot's er folks aint got—good luck, long head, quick eye, en slick fingers. But no marter 'bout dat, he got de money; en w'en you sorter grow up so you kin knock 'roun', twont be long 'fo' some un'll take en take you off 'roun' de cornder en tell you dat 'taint make no diffunce whar de money come fum so de man got it. Dey won't tell you dat in de meeting-house, but dey'll come mighty nigh it.

“But dat aint needer yer ner dar. Mr. Man, he come a drivin' 'long de big road, en he got a waggin full er money. Brer Rabbit, he come a lippity-clippitin' 'long de big road, en he aint got no waggin full er money. Ole Brer Rabbit, he up'n tuck a notion dat dey's sump'n wrong some'rs, kaze ef dey wan't, he'ud have des ez much waggin en money ez Mr. Man. He study, en study, en he can't make out how dat is. Bimeby he up'n holler out:

“ ‘Mr. Man, please, sir, lemme ride.'

“Mr. Man, he tuck'n stop he waggin, en 'low:

“ ‘Heyo, Brer Rabbit! how come dis? You comin' one way en I gwine nudder; how come you wanter ride?'

“Brer Rabbit, he up'n scratch hisse'f on de back er de neck wid he behime foot, en holler out:

“ ‘Mr. Man, yo' sho'ly can't be 'quainted 'long wid me. I'm one er dem ar ole-time kinder folks w'at aint a keerin' w'ich way deyer gwine long ez deyer ridin'.' ”

The little boy laughed a sympathetic laugh, showing that he heartily endorsed this feature of Brother Rabbit's programme.

“Atter so long a time,” Uncle Remus went on, “Mr. Man 'gree ter let Brer Rabbit ride a little piece. He try ter git Brer Rabbit fer ter ride up on de seat wid 'im so dey kin git ter 'sputin' 'bout sump'n n'er, but Brer Rabbit say he fear'd he fall off, en he des tuck'n sot right flat down in dey bottom er de waggin, en make lak he fear'd ter move.

“Bimeby, w'iles dey goin' down hill, en Mr. Man hatter keep he eye on de hosses, Brer Rabbit he tuck'n fling out a great big hunk er de money. Dez ez de money hit de groun' Brer Rabbit holler out:

“Mr. Man look 'roun' en ax w'at de marter. Brer Rabbit 'low:

“ ‘Nothin' 'tall, Mr. Man, 'ceppin' you 'bout ter jolt my jaw-bone a-loose.'

“Dey go on little furder, en Brer Rabbit fling out n'er hunk er de money. W'en she hit the groun', Brer Rabbit holler:

“Mr. Man look 'roun' en ax w'at de marter. Brer Rabbit 'low:

“ ‘Nothin' 'tall, Mr. Man, 'ceppin' I seed a jaybird flyin' long, en I make lak I had a gun.'

“Hit keep on dis away twel fus' news you know Mr. Man aint got a sign er money in dat waggin. Seem lak Mr. Man aint notice dis twel he git a mighty fur ways fum de place whar Brer Rabbit drap out de las' hunk; but, gentermens! w'en he do fine it out, you better b'leeve he sot up a howl.

“ ‘Whar my money? Whar my nice money? Whar my waggin full er purty money? O you long-year'd rascal! Whar my money? Oh, gimme my money!'

“Brer Rabbit sot dar en lissen at 'im lak he 'stonish'd. Den he up'n 'low:

“ ‘Look out, Mr. Man! folks 'll come 'long en year you gwine on dat away, en dey'll go off en say you done gone ravin' 'stracted.'

“Yit Mr. Mann keep on holler'n en beggin' Brer Rabbit fer ter gin 'im de money, en bimeby Brer Rabbit, he git sorter skeer'd en he up'n 'low:

“ ‘Sun gittin' low, Mr. Man, en I better be gittin' 'way fum yer. De sooner I goes de better, kase ef you keep on lak you gwine, 'twon't be long 'fo' you'll be excusin' me er takin' dat ar money. I'm 'blige' fer de ride, Mr. Man, en I wish you mighty well.'

“Brer Rabbit got de money,” continued Uncle Remus, gazing placidly into the fire, “en hit's mighty kuse ter me dat he aint git de waggin en hosses. Dat 'tis!”

LIII

“Eve'y time I run over in my min' 'bout the pranks er Brer Rabbit,” Uncle Remus continued, without giving the little boy time to ask any more embarrassing questions about Mr. Man and his wagon full of money, “hit makes me laugh mo' en mo'. He mos' allers come out on top, yit dey wuz times w'en he hatter be mighty spry.”

“When was that, Uncle Remus?” inquired the little boy.

“I min' me er one time w'en de t'er creeturs all git de laugh on 'im,” responded the old man, “en dey make 'im feel sorter 'shame'. Hit seem lak dat dey 'uz some kinder bodderment mungs de creeturs en wud went out dat dey all got ter meet terge'er some'rs en ontangle de tanglements.

“W'en de time come, dey wuz all un um dar, en dey hilt der confab right 'long. All un um got sump'n ter say, en dey talk dar, dey did, des lak dey 'uz paid fer talkin'. Dey all had der plans, en dey jabbered des lak folks does w'en dey call deyse'f terge'er. Hit come 'bout dat Mr. Dog git a seat right close by Brer Rabbit, en w'en he open he mouf fer ter say sump'n, he toofs look so long en so strong, en dey shine so w'ite, dat it feel mighty kuse.

“Mr. Dog, he'd say sump'n, Brer Rabbit, he'd jump en dodge. Mr. Dog, he'd laugh, Brer Rabbit, he'd dodge en jump. Hit keep on dis away, twel eve'y time Brer Rabbit'd dodge en jump, de t'er creeturs dey'd slap der han's terge'er en break out in a laugh. Mr. Dog, he tuck'n tuck a notion dat dey uz laughin' at him, en dis make 'im so mad dat he 'gun ter growl en snap right smartually, en it come ter dat pass dat w'en Brer Rabbit'd see Mr. Dog make a motion fer ter say a speech, he'd des drap down en git und' de cheer.

“Co'se dis make um laugh wuss en wuss, en de mo' dey laugh de madder it make Mr. Dog, twel bimeby he git so mad he fa'rly howl, en Brer Rabbit he sot dar, he did, en shuck lak he got er ager.

“Atter w'ile Brer Rabbit git sorter on t'er side, en he make a speech en say dey oughter be a law fer ter make all de creeturs w'at got tushes ketch en eat der vittles wid der claws. All un um 'gree ter dis 'cep' hit's Mr. Dog, Brer Wolf, en Brer Fox.

“In dem days,” continued Uncle Remus, “ef all de creeturs aint 'gree, dey put it off twel de nex' meetin' en talk it over some mo', en dat's de way dey done wid Brer Rabbit projick. Dey put it off twel de nex' time.

“Brer Rabbit got a kinder sneakin' notion dat de creeturs aint gwine do lak he want um ter do, en he 'low ter Brer Wolf dat he speck de bes' way fer ter do is ter git all de creeturs ter 'gree fer ter have Mr. Dog mouf sew'd up, kaze he toofs look so venomous; en Brer Wolf say dey 'ull all go in fer dat.

“Sho nuff, w'en de day done come, Brer Rabbit he git up en say dat de bes' way ter do is have Mr. Dog mouf sew'd up so he toofs won't look so venomous. Dey all 'gree, en den Mr. Lion, settin' up in de arm-cheer, he ax who gwine do de sewin'.

“Den dey all up'n 'low dat de man w'at want de sewin' done, he de man fer ter do it, kaze den he 'ull know it done bin done right. Brer Rabbit, he sorter study, en den he 'low:

“ ‘I aint got no needle.'

“Brer B'ar, he sorter feel in de flap er he coat collar, en he 'low:

“ ‘Yer, Brer Rabbit; 'yer a great big one!'

“Brer Rabbit, he sorter study 'g'in, en den he 'low:

“ ‘I aint got no th'ead.'

“Brer B'ar, he tuck'n pull a rav'lin' fum de bottom er he wescut, en he 'low:

“ ‘Yer, Brer Rabbit; yer a great long one!'

“Ef it had er bin anybody in de roun' worl' he'd er 'gun ter feel sorter ticklish,” Uncle Remus went on. “But ole Brer Rabbit, he des tuck'n lay he finger cross he nose, en 'low:

“ ‘Des hol' um dar fer me, Brer B'ar, en I'll be much 'blige ter you.
Hit's des 'bout my time er day fer ter take a walk!
' ”

Uncle Remus laughed as heartily as the child, and added: