Nights with Uncle Remus (35 page)

“Lil gal, 'e say yassum, un da Affiky oomans gone off. Snake stay still. 'E quile up in 'e quile; 'e yent moof
⁷⁵
'e tail. Bumbye, toze night-time, da Affiky oomans come bahck wey 'e lif. 'E stan' by da do'; 'e talk dis sing:

“ 'E v'ice 'come finer toze da las' tel 'e do git loud fer true. Da lilly gal, 'e do mek answer lak dis:

“ 'E know 'e mammy v'ice, en 'e bin pull out da peg queek. 'E run to 'e mammy; 'e mammy der hug um up. Nex' day, 'e da sem ting; two, t'ree, sev'm day, 'e da sem ting. Affiky oomans holler da sing; da lilly gal mek answer 'pon turrer side da do'. Snake, 'e lay quile up in da bush. 'E watch da night, 'e lissun da day; 'e try fer l'arn-a da sing; 'e no say nuttin' 'tall. Bumbye, one tam wun Affiky oomans bin gone 'way, snake, 'e wait til 'e mos 'tam fer oomans fer come bahck. 'E gone by da do'; 'e yopen 'e mout'; 'e say:

“ 'E try fer mekky 'e v'ice come fine lak da lil gal mammy; 'e der hab one rough place in 'e t'roat, un 'e v'ice come big. Lilly gal no mek answer. 'E no y-open da do'. 'E say:

“ ‘Go way fum dey-dey! Me mammy no holler da sing lak dat!'

“Snake, 'e try one, two, t'ree time; 'e yent no use. Lilly gal no y-open da do', 'e no mek answer. Snake 'e slick out 'e tongue un slide 'way; 'e say 'e mus' l'arn-a da sing sho nuff.

“Bumbye, da Affiky oomans come bahck. 'E holler da sing:

“Lilly gal say: ‘Da me mammy!' 'E answer da sing:

“Snake, 'e quile up in da chimmerly-corner; 'e hol' 'e bre't' fer lissun; 'e der l'arn-a da sing. Nex' day mornin' da Affiky oomans bin-a gone 'way un lef' da lilly gal all by 'ese'f. All de da long da snake 'e tink about da song; 'e say um in 'e min', 'e say um forwud, 'e say um backwud. Bumbye, mos' toze sundown, 'e come at da do'; 'e come, 'e holler da sing:

 

“Da lil gal, 'e tink-a da snake bin 'e mammy; 'e is answer da sing:

 

'E mek answer lak dat, un 'e y-open da do' queek. 'E run 'pon da snake 'fo' 'e is
shum
.
⁷⁶
Snake, 'e bin-a hug da lilly gal mo' sem dun 'e mammy; 'e is twis' 'e tail 'roun' um; 'e is ketch um in 'e quile. Lilly gal 'e holler, 'e squall; 'e squall, 'e holler. Nobody bin-a come by fer yeddy um. Snake 'e 'quees'
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um tight, 'e no l'em go; 'e 'queez' um tight, 'e swaller um whole; 'e bre'k-a no bone; 'e tekky da lilly gal lake 'e stan'.

“Bumbye da lil mammy come home at 'e house. 'E holler da sing, 'e git-a no answer. 'E come skeer'; 'e v'ice shek, 'e body trimple. 'E lissun, 'e no yeddy no fuss. 'E push de do' y-open, 'e no see nuttin 'tall; da lilly gal gone! Da ooman 'e holler, 'e cry; 'e ahx way 'e lilly gal bin gone; 'e no git no answer. 'E look all 'roun', 'e see way da snake bin-a cross da road. 'E holler:

“ ‘Ow, me Lard! da snake bin come swaller me lil Noncy gal. I gwan hunt 'im up; I gwan foller da snake pas' da een' da yet.'
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“ 'E go in da swamp, 'e cut' im one cane; 'e come bahck, 'e fine da snake track, un 'e do foller 'long wey 'e lead. Snake 'e so full wit de lilly gal 'e no walk fas'; lil gal mammy, 'e bin mad, 'e go stret 'long. Snake 'e so full wit da lilly gal, 'e come sleepy. 'E lay down, 'e sheda'e y-eye. 'E y-open um no mo',” continued Daddy Jack, moving his head slowly from side to side, and looking as solemn as he could. “Da ooman come 'pon de snake wun 'e bin lay dar sleep; 'e come 'pon 'im, un 'e tekky da cane un bre'k 'e head, 'e mash um flat. 'E cut da snake open, 'e fine da lilly gal sem lak 'e bin sleep. 'E tek um home, 'e wash um off. Bumbye da lilly gal y-open 'e y-eye, un soon 'e see'e mammy, 'e answer da sing. 'E say:

“Well, well, well!” exclaimed Aunt Tempy, sympathetically. “Un de po' little creetur wuz 'live?”

“Enty!” exclaimed Daddy Jack. No reply could possibly have been more prompt, more emphatic, or more convincing.

XLIV

“Uncle Remus,” said the little boy, one night when he found the old man alone, “I don't like these stories where somebody has to stand at the door and sing, do you? They don't sound funny to me.”

Uncle Remus cross his legs, took off his spectacles and laid them carefully on the floor under his chair, and made a great pretence of arguing the matter with the child.

“Now, den, honey, w'ich tale is it w'at you aint lak de mos'?”

The little boy reflected a moment and then replied:

“About the snake swallowing the little girl. I don't see any fun in that. Papa says that have snakes in Africa as big around as his body; and, goodness knows, I hope they won't get after me.”

“How dey gwin git after you, honey, w'en you settin' up yer 'long side or me en de snakes way 'cross dar in Affiky?”

“Well, Daddy Jack, he came, and the snakes might come too.”

Uncle Remus laughed, more to reassure the child than to ridicule his argument.

“Dem ar snakes aint no water-moccasin, not ez I knos un. Brer Jack bin yer mighty long time, en dey aint no snake foller atter 'im yit.”

“Now, Uncle Remus! papa says they have them in shows.”

“I speck dey is, honey, but who's afear'd er snake stufft wid meal-bran? Not none er ole Miss gran-chillun, sho'!”

“Well, the stories don't sound funny to me.”

“Dat mought be, yit deyer funny ter Brer Jack, en dey do mighty well fer ter pass de time. Atter w'ile you'll be a gwine 'roun' runnin' down old Brer Rabbit en de t'er creeturs, en somehow er n'er you'll take 'n git ole Remus mix up wid um twel you won't know w'ich one un um you er runnin' down, en let 'lone dat, yo won't keer needer. Shoo, honey! you aint de fus' chap w'at I done tole deze yer tales ter.”

“Why, Uncle Remus,” exclaimed the little boy, in a horrified tone. “I
wouldn't;
you
know
I wouldn't!”

“Don't tell me!” insisted the old man, “you er outgrowin' me, en you er outgrowin' de tales. Des lak Miss Sally change de lenk er yo' britches, des dat away I got ter do w'ence I whirl in en persoo atter de creeturs. Time wuz w'en you 'ud set down yer by dish yer h'ath, en you'd take'n holler en laugh en clap yo' han's w'en ole Brer Rabbit 'ud kick outen all er he tanglements; but deze times you sets dar wid yo' eyes wide open, en you don't crack a smile. I say it!” Uncle Remus exclaimed, changing his tone and attitude, as if addressing some third person concealed in the room. “I say it! Stidder j'inin' in wid de fun, he'll take'n lean back dar en 'spute 'long wid you des lak grow'd up folks. I'll stick it out dis season, but w'en Christmas come, I be bless ef I aint gwine ter ax Miss Sally fer my remoovance papers, en I'm gwine ter hang my bundle on my walkin'-cane, en see w'at kinder dirt dey is at de fur een' er de big road.”

“Yes!” exlaimed the little boy, triumphantly, “and, if you do, the patter-rollers will get you.”

“Well,” replied the old man, with a curious air of resignation, “ef dey does, I aint gwine ter do lak Brer Fox did w'en Brer Rabbit showed him de tracks in de big road.”

“How did Brother Fox do, Uncle Remus?”

“Watch out, now! Dish yer one er de tales w'at aint got no fun in it.”

“Uncle Remus, please tell it.”

“Hol' on dar! Dey mought be a snake some'rs in it—one er deze yer meal-bran snakes.”

“
Please,
Uncle Remus, tell it.”

The old man never allowed himself to resist the artful pleadings of the little boy. So he recovered his specks from under the chair, looked up the chimney for luck, as he explained to his little partner, and proceeded:

“One day w'en Brer Fox went callin' on Miss Meadows en Miss Motts en de t'er gals, who should he fine settin' up dar but ole Brer Rabbit? Yasser! Dar he wuz, des ez sociable ez you please. He 'uz gwine on wid de gals, en w'en Brer Fox drapt in dey look lak dey wuz mighty tickled but sump'n n'er Brer Rabbit bin sayin'. Brer Fox, he look sorter jub'ous, he did, des lak folks does w'en dey walks up in a crowd whar de yuthers all a gigglin'. He tuck'n kotch de dry grins terreckerly. But dey all howdied, en Miss Meadows, she up'n say:

“ ‘You'll des hatter skuse us, Brer Fox, on de 'count er dish yer gigglement. Tooby sho', hit monst'us disperlite fer we-all fer to be gwine on dat a-way; but I mighty glad you come, en I sez ter de gals, s'I, “ 'Fo' de Lord, gals! dar come Brer Fox, en yer we is a gigglin' en a gwine on scan'lous; yit hit done come ter mighty funny pass,” s'I, “ef you can't run on en laugh 'fo' home folks,” s'I. Dat dez 'zactly w'at I say, en I leave it ter ole Brer Rabbit en de gals yer ef 'taint.'

“De gals, dey tuck'n jine in, dey did, en dey make ole Brer Fox feel right splimmy-splammy, en dey all sot dar en run on 'bout dey neighbors des lak folks does deze days. Dey sot dar, dey did, twel after w'ile Brer Rabbit look out todes sundown, en 'low:

“‘Now, den, folks, and fr'en's, I bleedz ter say goo' bye. Cloud comin' up out yan, en mos' 'fo' we know it, de rain 'll be a po'in' en de grass 'll be a growin'.”

“Why, that's poetry, Uncle Remus!” interrupted the little boy.

“Tooby sho' 'tis, honey! Tooby sho' 'tis. I des let you know Brer Rabbit 'uz a mighty man in dem days. Brer Fox, he se de cloud comin' up, en he up'n 'low he speck he better be gittin' 'long hisse'f, kaze he aint wanter git he Sunday-go-ter-meetin' cloze wet. Miss Meadows en Miss Motts, en de gals, dey want um ter stay, but bofe er dem ar creeturs 'uz mighty fear'd er gittin' der foots wet, en atter w'ile dey put out.

“W'iles dey 'uz gwine down de big road, jawin' at one er n'er, Brer Fox, he tuck'n stop right quick, en 'low:

“ ‘Run yer, Brer Rabbit! run yer! Ef my eye aint 'ceive me yer de signs whar Mr. Dog bin 'long, en mo'n dat dey er right fresh.'

“Brer Rabbit, he sidle up en look. Den he 'low:

“ ‘Dat ar track aint never fit Mr. Dog foot in de 'roun' worl'. W'at make it mo' bindin',' sezee, ‘I done gone en bin 'quainted wid de man w'at make dat track, too long 'go ter talk 'bout,' sezee.

“ ‘Brer Rabbit, please, sir, tell me he name.'

“Brer Rabbit, he laugh lak he makin' light er sump'n n'er.

“ ‘Ef I aint make no mistakes, Brer Fox, de po' creetur w'at make dat track is Cousin Wildcat; no mo' en no less.'

“ ‘How big is he, Brer Rabbit?'

“ ‘He does 'bout yo' heft, Brer Fox.' Den Brer Rabbit make lak he talkin' wid hisse'f. ‘Tut, tut, tut! Hit mighty funny dat I should run up on Cousin Wildcat is dis part er de worl'. Tooby sho', tooby sho'! Many en manys de time I see my ole Grandaddy kick en cuff Cousin Wildcat, twel I git sorry 'bout 'im. Ef you want any fun, Brer Fox, right now de time ter git it.'

“Brer Fox up'n ax, he did, how he gwine have any fun. Brer Rabbit, he 'low:

“ ‘Easy nuff; des go en tackle ole Cousin Wildcat, en lam 'im 'roun'.'

“Brer Fox, he sorter scratch he year, en 'low:

“Eh-eh, Brer Rabbit, I fear'd. He track too much lak Mr. Dog.'

“Brer Rabbit des set right flat down in de road, en holler en laugh. He 'low, sezee:

“ ‘Shoo, Brer Fox! Who'd a thunk you 'uz so skeery? Des come look at dish yer track right close. Is dey any sign er claw anywhar's?'

“Brer Fox bleedz ter 'gree dat day want no sign er no claw. Brer Rabbit say:—

“ ‘Well, den, ef he aint got no claw, how he gwine ter hu't you, Brer Fox?'

“ ‘W'at gone wid he toofs, Brer Rabbit?'

“ ‘Shoo, Brer Fox! Creeturs w'at barks
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de trees aint gwine bite.'

“Brer Fox tuck'n tuck n'er good look at de tracks, en den him en Brer Rabbit put out fer ter foller um up. Dey went up de road, en down de lane, en 'cross de turnip patch, en down a dreen,
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en up a big gully. Brer Rabbit, he done de trackin', en eve'y time he fine one, he up 'n holler:

“ ‘Yer n'er track, en no claw dar! Yer n'er track, en no claw dar!'

“Dey kep' on en kep' on, twel bimeby dey run up wid de creetur. Brer Rabbit, he holler out mighty biggity:

“ ‘Heyo dar! W'at you doin'?'

“De creeture look 'roun', but he aint sayin' nothin'. Brer Rabbit 'low:

“ ‘Oh, you nee'nter look so sullen! We 'ull make you talk 'fo' we er done 'long wid you! Come, now! W'at you doin' out dar?'

“De creetur rub hisse'f 'gin' a tree des lake you see deze yer house cats rub 'g'in a cheer, but he aint sayin' nothin'. Brer Rabbit holler: