Nightfall: Book Two of the Chronicles of Arden (45 page)

Kirk Bhadrayu winced as though he’d stepped on a shard of broken glass. Even in the low light, Joel could see the remorse flash behind the Imperial’s eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Kirk said, hesitating beneath the doorframe. “I didn’t know anyone was in here.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Joel’s voice came out sounding strained and tired. “You’re allowed to go wherever you’d like in the estate.”

Kirk played with the long sleeves of his tunic, one of many outfits that had been gifted to him by Joel’s mother. The deep jade and rich yellow fabric brought out the green in his eyes.
The Ardenian styles suit him well
, Joel thought to himself.
His accent is the only hint anyone will have that he’s not native to Silver City
.

“I’m on my way to meet with Dean Marc,” Kirk said.

“Moving to the dormitory then?”

The trainee nodded. “My classes have been set. Dean Marc sent word that he found a room for me. I suppose it’s just as well. I don’t want to impose on your family any more than I already have.”

Joel shook his head. “You’re not imposing. We wouldn’t have made it out of Teivel alive if it wasn’t for your help. Letting Kenisha and you stay here is the least we can do.”

After proper questioning by the King, Kirk and his sister had been deemed trustworthy, and Koal had even offered to house them at the Adelwijn estate until the siblings found their feet. It was a nice gesture, especially by the seneschal’s standards.

After learning that Kirk and Kenisha saved our lives, Mother wouldn’t have had it any other way
. Lady Mrifa, always the doting host, had been spoiling her new guests to no end.
Which is probably a good thing. I haven’t exactly been in my right mind. Kirk must think I hate him
. Joel winced. That was far from true, of course. He owed his life to the young mage trainee.

Kirk stared into the burning hearth as though the flames held him spellbound. “Thank you, Joel. For everything. I haven’t allowed myself to hope in so long—” He took a deep breath. “But now, I can. Keni too. This is a new beginning for both of us. And it’s all because of you. I’ll never be able to properly express my gratitude but—but I just want you to know how much your kindness means to me.” He remained quiet for some time, watching the twirling fire. Then Kirk’s gaze shifted to Joel, and his hushed voice could be heard above the blaze. “I hope we can still be friends.”

Joel could barely meet his eyes. “Of course we can. I’m just—I—it’s a difficult time—”

“I know it is.” Kirk’s voice was sympathetic. He took one step forward but seemed unwilling to move from his position beneath the doorframe. “And I’ll have you know, the way you’re feeling is perfectly justified. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.” He offered a weak smile. “You deserve as much space and time as you need.”

“I—” Joel’s words caught in his throat. “I don’t mean to be so distant. It’s just—it’s how I grieve.”

Kirk absently traced the embroidered sleeve of his tunic. “Cenric seemed like an honorable man.”

“He was.” Joel swallowed.
Not now. No more tears
.

Silence threatened to smother out even the roaring fire.

“Well, I should be going,” Kirk said at long last. “I wouldn’t want to keep Dean Marc waiting.”

“Good luck,” Joel replied. He tried to sound spirited but knew the attempt fell flat.

“Goodbye, Joel.”

Kirk departed, leaving Joel alone. The solitude was both a solace and a miserable reminder of his loss. With arms wrapped around his legs and chin resting gently on his knees, he uttered a choked sob.
Will this pain ever fade?
 

Gib shoved his hands farther into the pockets of his overcoat as he walked. Snow sloshed around his boots and even more fell from the sky to settle amongst his curls.
I should have worn a hat. After sixteen winters, there’s no excuse. Good thing I’m not far from where I need to be
.

Face burning from the sharp wind, he all but ran the remaining furlong. The impressive grounds of the Adelwijn estate loomed ahead, and Gib stopped only long enough to pry the icy wrought-iron gate open before slipping into the courtyard and continuing on his way. A breath later and he stood before the tall, oak door. Habit and mannerism told him to knock, though Seneschal Koal and the rest of his family had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t need to.

That was before though. When Joel and I were
—

Gib winced. Would Joel be here now? In his rush to be out of the cold, he’d allowed himself to forget the reason he’d been worrying himself sick for the past five days.

Memories of Joel’s pale, bloodied face and terrified eyes came back to haunt Gib’s mind. The vision of Joel, crumpled in the snow beside the ruined portal, unable to speak coherently or even sit up without help, was a constant wrenching in his gut. Whatever nightmare the mage had faced in the Northern Empire had scarred him deeply. Bearing witness to his terrible sobs and tear-stained cheeks had wedged a blade into Gib’s heart, and he could think of nothing else but ensuring Joel was all right.

He pushed through the heavy door just as Tabitha came to answer it. A young girl trailed the loyal servant, and Gib faintly recognized her as one of the two people who had come through the portal with the Ardenian envoys.
That’s right. Koal mentioned in passing that they were staying here
.

Tabitha ushered him inside. She seemed genuinely surprised to see him. “Gibben, it’s been a while since you’ve visited.”

“Duty has kept me busy,” he replied, knowing how lame he must have sounded. It wasn’t the truth. He’d been avoiding coming here because he felt that the privilege was no longer his. He and Joel were no more. Didn’t it make sense that he not come barging in as though he lived there?

“Of course,” Tabitha replied. “You did a great service by assisting Lord Marc Arrio in the seneschal’s absence.” She motioned toward the Imperial girl. “This is Kenisha Bhadrayu, our honored guest.”

Gib bowed his head, pushing aside the twinge of distrust that flared in his chest. “Thank you for helping my friends, Lady Kenisha. Without your assistance, they never would have escaped the evils of the Northern Empire.”

A dusting of pink sprinkled the young girl’s oval face. “Just Kenisha, m’lord. I’m no lady, only a humble servant.”

“I’m Gibben Nemesio, and I’m no lord either, just a humble understudy.”

Gib’s words were rewarded with a shy smile. Briefly returning the gesture, he turned his attention back to Tabitha. “I’m here for Seneschal Koal. We’re to travel to the council meeting at the palace together. Can you tell him I’ve arrived?”

“The seneschal is in his study,” Tabitha replied. “I’m sure he won’t be long. You’re welcome to wait in the sitting room for him. Otos just stoked the fire.”

Gib sighed with relief. “Oh wonderful, my hands are freezing. Thank you, Tabitha.”

The two young women giggled as they went toward the kitchen while Gib rambled through the long corridor leading to the sitting room. As he passed by the elegant staircase that led to the second story, his heart beat a little faster in his chest. Was Joel up there? Was he all right?
Should I go see? Just to make sure he’s okay? No. Stop being an idiot. He hasn’t made any indication he wants to see you. Give him his damned space. Do you want to chase him farther away?
Gib forced himself to keep moving.

I should have just met Koal at the palace. I shouldn’t be here
. He knew exactly why he’d come though. He wanted to see Joel. But only to ensure he was all right.
Is there something so wrong with that? He’s been part of my life since the day I came to Silver. I can’t pretend his welfare doesn’t matter
.
I just want to hear it from him—that he’s okay without me
.

The promise of fire and warmth helped lift Gib’s spirits and he quickened his pace, but his mind was so full that he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. He nearly collided with a person traveling in the opposite direction.

The Imperial boy who’d come through the portal with Koal and the others jumped out of Gib’s way, gasping sharply. Dressed in a green tunic and trousers, with deep brown hair and fair skin, he might have passed for an Ardenian if Gib hadn’t known better. Gib fished for the boy’s name.
Kris? Kurt? Kiran? No. Kirk! That’s it
.

“O–oh, pardon me,” Kirk said, pressing his back against the wall even though the corridor had more than enough room for both of them. The Imperial boy’s face contorted, and confusion clouded his wide eyes. The boy was clearly trying to place Gib’s face.

So many people were in the courtyard that night. I suppose he wouldn’t recognize me
.

Sparing the boy further embarrassment, Gib huffed a sigh. “I’m Gibben, Seneschal Koal’s understudy.” He didn’t mean for his voice to come out sounding so curt. Really, he had no reason to dislike Kirk, but just knowing he came from the same people who’d murdered Ambassador Cenric and nearly killed Koal left a bitter taste in Gib’s mouth, and he couldn’t shake the feeling.

“Seneschal Koal is in his study,” Kirk whispered, giving no indication Gib’s name had meant anything to him.

“Yes, I know. Thank you.” Again, Gib’s voice clipped without consent.
Stop it. It’s not his fault Koal’s injured and Joel’s an emotional wreck. He helped them escape
. Gib opened his mouth to issue an apology, but Kirk scooted past and Gib lost his chance.

“Good day,” the Imperial boy said. He turned his back to Gib and departed. A few moments later, Gib heard the front door open and close.

Nerves still frayed, Gib stuffed his hands into his pockets and continued to the sitting room.
Stop. Just stop. Koal has entrusted these Imperials. There’s no reason to be so hostile
.

He’d already blundered into the sitting room before he realized someone occupied the couch. Hollow sapphire eyes rose to meet him, and Gib froze in place. “J–Joel.”

Joel’s pale face looked ghostly in the firelight, and the dark rings beneath his eyes matched the horrible bruise on his nose. The mage’s shoulders were slouched, with frail arms wrapped around his legs, and the wet streaks on either cheek were proof enough that he’d been crying. Gib’s soul ached, the desire to rush to Joel’s side overriding any common sense he still possessed. He caught himself after only one step, however, and forced his feet to remain planted on the hard marble floor.

“Gib,” Joel rasped. He wiped a sleeve across his face, but it was too late to hide the tears. “What—what are you doing here?”

Gib winced. That hadn’t been the reaction he’d hoped for. A sudden thought dawned on him. When Gib had passed Kirk in the corridor, the Imperial had come from this very room. He hadn’t made Joel cry, had he?
Why
had Kirk even been in there? What could he possibly have to say to Joel? Irrational jealousy sprang to life in Gib’s chest so sharply it startled him.
Just stop. You’re being ridiculous!
He cleared his throat. “I, uh, I’m here to see Koal. I didn’t—didn’t know you would be here.”

“O–oh. You’re here for my father.” Joel sighed, and his shoulders lost a bit of their rigidity. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.” His hands flopped in the air, gesturing weakly at himself.

Gib snorted. “Oh hell, you’ve never looked better.” When his comment was met with silent skepticism, he added tersely, “Well, you’re still prettier than me anyway.”

Joel’s laugh was broken. “Stop it.”

“Seriously. I especially love what you’ve done with your snout. The ladies at court will be jealous.”

A single tear rolled down Joel’s cheek, and Gib knew his joke had fallen short. Unable to stop himself, he reached a hand toward the other man. “If—if you need someone to talk to, you know I’m here for you, don’t you?”

Joel glared at the floor. “I’m fine.”

Gib didn’t want to push Joel too far, but he called the bluff for what it was. Three steps across the cold tiles found him standing before the mage. “That’s horseshit. No one would be ‘fine’ after what you’ve been through.”

Joel still refused to meet Gib’s gaze, and his heart sank.
He’s doing it again. He’s shutting me out. Dammit, it took so long to get him to open up. I can’t let him barricade himself inside a shell again. He needs to talk to me!