Nic's Devotion: An Endless Series: Book One (22 page)

     A real smile lifted up those lips and her eyes crinkled
in amusement. She pointed her fork at me. “What are you going to help me move?
Are you going carry my one suitcase or do you want my backpack.

     I grimaced at her comment which was stated in modest
amusement instead of bitterness at having basically nothing.

     “They giving you a bed at least?” Seth grumbled.

     She grinned at him. “Yes, the room comes with a bed and
a desk. That’s all I need.”

     I thought about my room filled with a 52” screen T.V.,
DVD, computer, and all other forms of the latest electronics. Carrie didn’t
even have a cell phone, and she was fine with it. I didn’t like it, and I could
handle that she didn’t have all those things since she didn’t seem to care, but
the cell phone was a real problem for me. Not being able to get a hold of her
whenever I wanted sucked.

     “Maybe when you move in we could hit a store and get
some things you might need.” I said as artlessly as I could. I knew she would
baulk at the thought of me buying things for her, but maybe I could be sneaky
about it, and I didn’t feel bad at the idea of that plan at all.

     She raised a brow at me, the one with the mole. I loved
it when she did that. “Maybe,” she responded suspiciously.

     Seth snorted over the last bit of his Mac n’ Cheese.
“She’s got your number.”

     Carrie grinned. I gave Seth a dirty look. “Shut up.” I
muttered irritably, which only made Carrie’s grin morph into a giggle. My heart
lightened at the sound.

Chapter Nineteen

Carrie

     “What did you make?” I asked in eager curiosity. It was
Friday night and Nic had brought me over to his house for dinner and a movie.

     The school had informed me just this afternoon that the
dorm room was ready for me, but I wouldn’t be able to move in until tomorrow
because my stuff was at the shelter and it was too late to move tonight.

     Nic had been picking me up and dropping me off at the
woman’s shelter for the last week. When I tried to tell him I was fine taking
the bus, at least in the mornings, he wouldn’t listen. He would just give me a
kiss and drive off telling me he’d be there in the morning.   

     “It’s a surprise. You’re going to have to wait and
see.” Nic stated firmly helping me out of the passenger seat of his truck. He’d
given me the evil eye telling me to wait for him to come around to help me out
notifying me that this was an official first date and that part of the package
was helping the lady from the vehicle.

     “You’ve been telling me that the entire ride over, but
we’re at your house now.” No one had ever done anything like this for me before
and the suspense was killing me. I gripped his arms almost bouncing on my feet.
“Please, please, please.” I begged.

     Nic laughed. “I’m not spilling, but we’re only fifty
feet away from the answer. You can hold out two more minutes.”

     His eyes twinkled down at me, but they also held heat,
and hands that had been holding me loosely, tightened, pulling me closer. I
went willingly, knowing he was going to kiss me. He had been kissing me every
morning and night for the last week. Each one left me wanting more.

     His hands cupped my cheeks both of which had healed,
and then his lips molded over mine. Pushing upward I press harder into his lips
loving the feel and taste of his mouth on mine; the way his soft facial hair
felt against my skin. I’d at first shied away when his tongue moved past my
lips, but I didn’t now. I met it ardently.

     He groaned and his arms wrapped around me pulling me
tightly to his body, and my breath caught at the hard impact of his solid frame
against my softer one. The gentle slow strokes of his lips and tongue become
harder and deeper and I couldn’t stop the trembling that shook my limbs.

     This was the first time I’d had full contact with his
body. He felt so good, but at the same time it was a bit shocking because the
hard evidence of his arousal pressed against my belly. An ache formed in my
breasts and groin and had the urge to rub against that hardness, but at the
same time my mind shrank back from the thought.

     We each pulled away from the other simultaneously; me
because of excited agitation, and Nic, maybe because he’d felt my agitation. We
gazed at each other breathing erratically. Nic’s eyes smoldered down at me.

     “I made shrimp scampi as an appetizer, and for dinner
there’s beef stir-fry with garlic bread.” Nic breathed huskily.

     I stared at him for a second before his words
registered. Blinking and taking a deep breath to clear my head I gave him a
mock scowl. “You ruined the surprise.” I complained breathlessly. 

     Nic returned my look with one of mock outraged
resignation. “You wrangled it out of me. That was very sneaky of you. That
might deserve some retribution on my part.” He bent and nipped my neck.

     Tingles raced through my body and my eyes widened as my
thoughts ran wild at his words.

     Nic growled. “God…that look on your face!” He grabbed
my hand pulling me toward the house. “Let’s go eat, I’m starving.”

     He led me into the house, and the smell of garlic and
seafood permeated the air. It was extremely quiet.

     “Is anyone here?” I asked looking around. It looked
much cleaner than last Sunday morning when I’d snuck out.

     Nic escorted me into the kitchen. “It’s Friday night;
everyone’s out.”

     The first thing I saw when we walked into the kitchen
was the table. There was a large bouquet of different colored roses positioned
in the middle and it was set with two plates. There was also a candle stick
situated between the bouquet and plates. My eyes stung with tears that he would
go to so much trouble for me.

     “It’s beautiful, Nic. Thank you.” I choked out.

     Arms wrapped around me from behind and Nic breathed in
my ear. “You’re beautiful.” His fingers lifted and combed through my hair. “
Thank
you
for letting your hair down for me.”

     My hair had been in a braid all day until Nic had come
to pick me up. I’d used the last few minutes of work to change into black yoga
pants and an overlong dark green sweater. I had than unbound my hair so it hung
down my back in small waves.

     I leaned my head back against his shoulder and clasped
the arms holding my waist. Inadequacy filled me. “You do so many nice things
for me, I wish there was more I could offer this relationship besides letting
my hair down for you.”

     Nic turned me around in his arms. His expression was
severe. “You alone bring everything I could want into this relationship.
Meeting you, being with you, it’s made me different, better…” Bending down he
whispered against my lips. “…happier. Don’t ever underestimate what you bring
to this relationship.”

     I stared up at him in wonder. For three years I’d lived
in a deprivation of emotion. I’d come home from the clinic and my mom had
basically ignored me; well, except for the hate filled glances she would throw
my way. She hadn’t wanted me there, and had only put up with me for possible
legal or left over maternal reasons...I’m not really sure why she had.

     Now Nic was saying and doing all these wonderful things
for me. It was overwhelming.

     I gave him a nod. “I’ll try.”

     He gave me a shorter kiss and smiled. “Let’s eat.”

     Nic sat me down and went about serving dinner. Shrimp
scampi wasn’t something I’d ever eaten before and I wasn’t able to hold back
the sounds of appreciation as I ate it. The beef stir-fry was also great. Nic
seemed to have cataloged my favorite vegetables because they were all there.

     “I can’t eat another bite. I’m stuffed.” I groaned,
leaning back in my chair. “But it was sooo good.”

     Nic laughed. “Well, we know you like seafood. You went
after that shrimp like you were afraid it was going to swim away.” I giggled at
his analogy as he stood up and grabbed our plates. I forced myself up and
picked up the glasses and other dishes.

     Nic scowled. “You sit right back down. I’ll take care
of this.”

     I scowled back. “You cooked, it should be me cleaning
up, but I will let you help.” I walked past him to the sink hiding my smile.

     “I saw that.” He growled coming up behind me.

     And I’d thought I had snuck it by him. I shrugged an
‘oh well’. Setting the dishes on the counter I started the water in the sink.
Nic stepped up behind me caging me as he set the plates in the rising water.
Folding his arms around me he kissed my neck.

     “That’s twice you’ve been tricky with me. You’re
racking up the penalty points.” His breath tickled my ear and his hands splayed
over my belly. I could actually feel his touch close to the underside of my
breasts. It had me inhaling deeply; in excitement or edginess I wasn’t sure. 

     His hands didn’t go any further, but his kisses slid up
by my ear and his whiskers grazed across my skin making me shiver and causing
my breathing to become uneven.

     I was able to squeak out. “What will you do?”

     He took my earlobe between his teeth and sucked. I
seemed to feel that sucking in both of my girl parts. I drew in a shuddery
breath, clutching at his arms as my legs grew wobbly.

     The arms around me constricted and he whispered
gruffly. “I don’t think I want to tell you. I spilled my guts to you earlier
and I think the suspense will do you good.” With one last lick to my ear he
stepped back.

     Holding onto the counter ledge for support I breathed
deeply to get back some control. The sink had filled enough so I shut off the
water. We washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen together with only a few
words spoken on where something was to go. I endeavored to utilize the quiet to
calm my nerves, but found myself staring at Nic instead. He really was gorgeous
with that blond wavy hair, short stubble, green eyes, and athletic body.

     I was wiping the counter and unobtrusively checking out
Nic’s thighs and butt as he put away some pans when he suddenly stood up and
snatched the rag from me throwing it in the sink. I looked at him in surprise.

     “You’re driving me crazy.” He growled. Placing an arm
on either side of me on the counter he leaned his face in close to mine.

     “What?” I asked self-consciously.  

     “You’ve been checking me out.” Reaching out he grabbed
a hunk if my hair and stroked it from root to end.

     My face flamed at his correct assertion. “What!” 

     Nic chuckled. “But that’s okay, because I was checking
you out too.” He said huskily, lips closing over mine.      

     The heated glide of his tongue made me forget any
embarrassment I was feeling. All my attention became focused on the kiss; how
his tongue explored, glided, and swirled. My breathing became broken and ragged
sounding and I grabbed on to his upper arms as my legs grew weak. The feelings
cascading through me were so delicious. The taste of Nic, his heat and
strength, the slight roughness of his cheek and chin, his teeth, tongue, and
lips all made my head spin.

     My mouth opened further to take in extra air as I grew
light headed. Nic latched on to my bottom lip with his teeth, nibbling and
sucking it, and then licking and soothing it. A whimper escaped me at the
sensations that swept through me and I found myself capturing his lip to do the
same thing.

     Nic groaned and his body surged into mine. Hands
grasped my waist and lifted me so I was aligned completely with his frame from
chest to thigh with the counter at my back. I gasped at the confinement and for
the first time a shiver of unease shot through me.

     Nic’s lips left my mouth to trail kisses down my chin
and neck, but I barely felt his touch, I was completely focused on trying to
control my thoughts and breathing. The counter at my back…Nic at my front…I was
feeling trapped. I pushed at Nic as memories tried to overwhelm me…a heavy
weight and pain. My eyesight went fuzzy.

     Distantly I heard the words ‘
no, no, no’
, and
realized it was coming from me as the surroundings gradually came into focus. I
found myself snuggled up against Nic’s chest…sitting in his lap…on the couch in
the living room. When did we move to the living room? We’d been in the
kitchen…kissing.

     Hopelessness washed over me as I realized what
happened. I’d freaked out again. I was never going to be normal. I let out a
low anguished breath.

     Nic was rocking me while rubbing my shoulder and back
repeating. “Shhh, it’s alright. I’ve got you.”

     I held back my tears forcibly. He didn’t need to deal
with me crying all over him on top of one of my episodes. “I’m sorry.” I
apologized gruffly. 

     His arms hugged me and lips kissed the top of my head.
“Oh, thank god. No, I’m sorry. I got carried away. I told myself I was going to
go slow with you and I about mauled you in the kitchen.”

     A tear escaped against my will that he would blame
himself when it was all on me. “You shouldn’t have to be careful about going
slow. I mean, I wouldn’t fall into bed with you…wait, I did do that. I meant to
say I wouldn’t fall into sex with you,” His chest vibrated under my cheek, “But
we should be able to kiss without me having a breakdown. I want so much to move
on with my life, but my episodes just seem to be getting worse.” God, I felt
drained.

     “Can you tell me what I did to make this happen?” Nic
asked.

     “You didn’t do anything, it’s all me.” I sighed
wearily.

    “Shhh, it is not you, don’t even think that.” Nic gently
messaged the back of my scalp. “Can you tell me what you think caused it?”

     I moaned at the feel of Nic’s fingers, they were
magical. It felt soooo good. My head lolled on my neck and my eyes rolled back
in bliss.

     “Carrie, what happed?” Nic whispered.

     A sigh escaped me at having to talk. All I wanted to do
was go to sleep. I frowned, thinking. “The counter was behind me…and you were
pressed tightly to my front…it made me feel claustrophobic. It was like a
weight was pushing all the breath out of me; I was trapped and couldn’t get
away.” I shivered at the memory and then yawned. “It had been so nice before
that. I really like it when you kiss me. I think I’m getting pretty good at it
too.”

     Nic chuckled and I could feel the rumble of it in my
ear and on my hands since both were resting against him. His chest felt so
solid and warm. He made the coldness that was always within me disappear.

     I unconsciously rubbed at his chest seeking to sooth
him like he was me, but also because I just liked touching him. “You know it’s
funny; your strength and heat normally make me feel so safe and comforted…among
other things.” I grinned and snorted sleepily. “But with the counter behind me
it just made me feel…helpless.” My arms wound around his waist and I snuggled
in closer. “But you feel great right now.”

     I fell asleep feeling secure in his arms again.