Next to Forever (Never Letting Go) (21 page)

“Here you are
, Mr. Simpson. Your spa appointment is in about thirty minutes. If you and Ms. Costella follow Clara, she’ll get you situated.”

“Thank you.” I look at Erin and her mouth is open with a shocked look in her eyes. I close her mouth and kiss the top of her nose. “Come on baby, don’t want to be late or anything.”

Two-hour massages, body wraps, facials and body treatments later, we’re sitting at Pitons Restaurant, drinking wine and admiring the ocean.

“I feel so good, Connor. Thank you for this. So, you like facials now
, huh?” She asks, sipping on her white wine.

“Let’s not talk about that
, please.” I pop some grapes in my mouth and take her hand. “I just want you to have the best time here and feel relaxed. We’ve been through so much, and I hate seeing you sad and stressed out.” I kiss her hand. “I love you, Erin, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep that smile on your face.”

“Oh, Connor.” Erin leans in to kiss me
. “I love you so much. You’ve been the best and picked up all the pieces when I fell. Thanks for never giving up on me.”

“Never. We’re in this together
, and there’s nothing that can keep me away from you.”

Our dinner comes and Erin and I talk about the session with Doctor Taylor and other things we are planning
on the vacation. Our main goal is to be on the beach as much as possible and forget out the drama that’s at home waiting for us when we return.

Erin

The days are amazing here in paradise with the love of my life. We spend the morning in bed making love and enjoying the beautiful beach. The stress of what’s going on at home stays with me, but I don’t let Connor know. I’m worried and scared about what Vander is capable of doing, and it kills me that I’m not back in North Carolina helping but I have to move on. Vander took away Aria; I won’t let him take away my life.

A part of me feels guilty that I’m having fun
, but I know I have to move on with my life. I’ll always remember Aria and love her until the day I die. Life is all about moving on and never forgetting the moments that test our ability to live. Once we’re able to overcome the sadness, we can embrace life again. Connor and I know it’s not going to be easy, but together we can get through this.

The room is quiet when I wake up. Connor’s arms are holding me
, and I don’t want to move. I love waking up in his arms and feeling safe. I turn around facing my sexy fiancé. Giving Connor kisses, he holds me tighter and groans.

“I love waking up to your kisses, babe.”

“Well, let me show you what I love waking up to.” And I do show him, a few times.

Once our hot little sessions are over, we get ready and head down to the restaurant for breakfast. “What do you think you’re going to get?”

Connor flips through the menu. “Not sure,” he says, drinking his coffee. “The omelet looks good.”

“Yeah
, I’m thinking about getting that too, and fruit.”

Our
server comes and takes our order. We have an excursion in about an hour and want to make sure we eat before heading out. It’s an all day excursion and we get to go to the different islands. I lean back in my chair and think about the last few days.

We’ve gone scuba diving
, and we went swimming with dolphins, sharks, and string rays. Connor has been the best fiancé and always making sure that I am satisfied. The sex has been unbelievable and the things he does with his tongue, makes me wet and ache for him again. We’ve tried new things and experienced a new world while here in St. Lucia. Connor’s phone went off a few times but he told me not to worry. I worry about him and our family and friends back home. Sophia texted me and kept me updated since Connor wasn’t telling me anything. No one has heard from Vander and Olivia has been helping out Sophia since I’ve been gone. She told me about what happened at the bar and how Olivia helped me back home. I still don’t trust her completely but I owed her for helping me.

We finish breakfast and head down to the lobby to wait for the bus to take us on our next adventure.

* * * * *

After almost eight hours away from the hotel, we finally make it back and head to the room. A day filled with zip lining, snorkeling, drinking, eating,
tanning, and shopping. Yeah, it’s time to get some sleep.

Connor rolls on his stomach with his hand on my bare back, muttering in his sleep. The way he makes me feel with each touch. Each kiss. Each time he says he loves me. I can’t describe it but my heart beats for just him and the support he’s constantly giving me. I’m glad he saves me every day
, and my heart breaks thinking about the night I almost took my life.

“Where’s your head at, baby?” Connor asks, lifting his head from the pillows, giving me a look of want and desire. 

“Just thinking about things. Connor, have you thought about trying to get pregnant again?”

He closes his eyes
, and I know this is the topic he hates to talk about but I need to know what he’s thinking and what he wants. He throws his right arm over his head and lets out a tense breath. “I mean,” he starts to say, pausing, and thinking about how he wants to tell me how he feels. “I want a family with you, but I think we need to take some time and make sure we’re okay.”

I shoot up from the bed and push him. “Like make sure I’m not crazy and don’t try to kill myself again, right?!”

“Baby…” He strokes my leg. “I just want us to be healthy and okay. I think we need to slow down and get everything straight before we can talk about having a family. Don’t you want to wear your beautiful white wedding dress and walk down the aisle to me?”

He has a point. If I’m pregnant, I’ll be
waddling down the aisle, and that’s not sexy. “Okay, okay. I get it. I just want to know what you’re thinking.” He’s so hot right now, and I want him but I know he wants to rest and sleep a little longer. “I’m going to walk the beach. Go back to bed, babe.”

That sleepy smile I love forms on his face
. “You sure?”

“Positive.” I give him another kiss on his lips and get up from the comfortable plush king sized bed.

Later, we pass out and miss dinner but it’s no biggie. We lay in bed together, talking and getting to know each other again. We talk about the wedding and the possibility of having a baby soon. It kills me knowing that we don’t have our baby girl and there’s a pain in my heart that’ll never go away. I try to close my eyes, but all I see and hear is Aria’s heartbeat. I wake up in a dark room. My face and body are wet from sweating. I look over and see that Connor’s still sleeping. It’s six in the morning and there’s no use trying to fall asleep again.

After brushing my teeth and putting my hair up in a messy bun, I grab my shorts and tank top and put on my Puma
sneakers. Looking back at Connor again, I leave our hotel room and head down to the beach.

It’s about seven in the morning and the calm blue ocean splashes amongst the waves. The bright sun, full of colors, rises from its sleepy gaze and shines the brilliant pink,
orange, and yellow lights on the quiet beach. I put in my ear buds and pick out ‘The Way’ by Ariana Grande. The volume is up on my iPhone and I start running through the soft sand. My mind clears as I run faster and the song switches to ‘Make Me Better’ by Fabulous. “Come on, Erin. Faster, keep going.” I slow my breathing and focus on each time my foot hits the sand.

After running for nearly thirty minutes, I slow down and start walking again. “Shit,” I say, still walking
. “That was good.” I sit down on the sand and watch the ocean waves. It calms me and helps me put things back in perspective. The blue ocean is breathtaking. I can live here forever and never be bored or tired. I get back up and head to the resort. Another day at the beach is definitely needed.

Connor and I are lying on the sand, beneath the blazing sun and humid air. With a content sigh, I roll over on my stomach and let the sun hit my skin. “Can we stay here forever?”

Strong hands are on my back, putting sunscreen all over my back, neck, thighs, and legs. “You know,” Connor starts to say, massaging my shoulders, “this bikini is too small and barely covers anything. Who said you could wear this?”

I turn over and start laughing. He’s right. My pink and white bikini is tiny
, but I think I look pretty hot in it. “I wear this because you know I’m hot, and I want to look good for my babe.” I see the girls eyeing my sexy guy. “Well, look at you. Looking hot and sexy in your blue shorts,” I jump and straddle him, not caring who can see us. “You’re mine, mister.” I lean down and kiss him. “Always.”

We laugh and get up from the sand to run into the clear
blue ocean. The warm water hits us as we laugh and run faster. Connor picks me up and spins me around before throwing me.

“Ahhhhhh!” My body hits the water and I go down. Fast and hard. I pop back up and spit out the salty water. “I hate you!”

“I love you too, baby!”

We swim around and play in the water before heading back to our spots on the sand. Connor puts on his aviator sunglasses
, and I pick up my kindle and start reading again. The afternoon sun intensifies but it feels so good on my skin. Connor’s phone goes off and I wonder who’s calling him. He discreetly looks at his phone and it irritates me that he feels the need to hide this shit from me. Doesn’t he know Sophia will tell me anyway?

“I don’t get why you feel the need to hide everything from me, Connor
,” I fiercely say, glaring at him.

“Baby, stop. It’s just Adam and he’s filling me in on more things with California. Business, just business.” He puts his phone away and gets up
. “Do you want a drink?”

“Nope,” I respond, enunciating the
‘p.’

Shaking his head, he walks away. Making sure he’s gone, I take out my phone and text Sophia.

Me: What the hell is going on?

Sophia: Don’t even get me started! Adam’s been a maniac, running around and trying to find Vander. I got something in the mail today.

Me: What?? You ok!?

Sophia: I’m fine
, but um, someone sent two dozen roses.

Me: I’m not following
...

Sophia: Roses had blood in them
...

I get up from the towel and freak out. What the hell is going on?

Me: Soph, omg! I’m sorry! Be careful!

Sophia: It was from Vander but there’s no tracking of where
it came from or any other messages.

Me: Then how do you know it’s from Vander?

Sophia: He left something in some of the roses and yeah. Gross.

Trying to think about what was in the roses and how they can figure out it’s Vander. “What’s she talking about,” I mumble.

Me: You lost me.

Sophia: He came in some of the roses
, Erin =(

Me: Oh, shit.

Sophia: Yeah. Adam has the house on 24/7 watch and I’m to stay at home and not do anything stupid.

Me: OMG I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry. We’ll be home soon
, and then we can spend time together.

Sophia: Yes
, because I so miss you.

Me: I miss you too!
Hey, can you check and see if the alarm system is on? I completely forgot when we left!

Sophia: I’ll tell Adam to go do it.

Me: Thank you! I love you!

Sophia: Love you too! Have fun and relax k?

Me: Trying!

This shit’s getting crazy
, and I hate that it’s happening. I have to do something, anything. I can’t have Vander ruining my life and the lives of my family and friends. My heart hurts thinking about everything that’s going on and it makes me wonder. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I try to keep positive and fight through this. All I know is this is my life.

There’s a disconnection between Connor and I. We’re not on the same page. I need him to understand that he can tell me things
, and I won’t break down. It’s not fair that he keeps things from me. How can we get married and have a life together when there are walls of secrets? I take a sip of my wine and try to think of something to convince Connor to trust me. To trust us.

Vander

Looking at their pictures and imagining them, my two sweet girls. I touch their lips and stroke their hair. There’s pain going through my body, down to my hard member. God, what I’d do to have them with me. I pull out my photo album and look through the pages.

Sophia Burns, daughter of Doctor Tom Burns, to wed Adam Simpson, son of Lydia and Frank Simpson.

Adam and Connor Simpson named CEO of Optimax.

CEO, Adam and Connor Simpson, donation
toward a new wing for the children’s hospital.

Paul Moore sentenced to twenty-five years for the deaths of his wife, Ester Moore, and Belinda and Brandon O’Brien.