Newlywed Games (14 page)

“This
is
the first time!” She stopped, horrified. How had she let that come out? She scrambled to explain her words away before he could do or say anything that would make her humiliation total. “What I mean is, this is the first serious relationship I’ve ever had. Or
supposedly
had. Oh, you know what I mean!”

She risked a peek at his face and saw he was just watching her, considering her words.
Please, please don’t let him realize what I said was the truth.

Because it was. She’d never been in love before. Not even once. She’d had crushes from time to time, but never felt she’d met a man she loved. Really loved. As in forever.

Except for maybe now.

Why did Bruce have to be so nice about everything? Why did he have to be so wonderful and caring and beguiling? Why did he have to be the one man she’d ever fallen in love with? She should have chosen someone she didn’t even like. Someone who made her skin crawl.

Then her heart wouldn’t have to break when this was all over.

His silence unnerved her. She couldn’t quite read his expression. A little smile curved up the corners of his mouth. Was he pleased? Or could he be laughing at her?

“Have you ever been in a school play?”

His question was so unexpected, Meghann could only shake her head.

“Pretended to be someone else?”

She continued to shake her head.

His soothing voice probed further. “You were never Dorothy landing in Munchkinland? Never played dress up? Didn’t you do anything fun as a child?”

“I suppose when I was real young. After my dad died, I mostly helped Mom with the housework. In high school she wouldn’t let me get a job to help. She was afraid my schoolwork would suffer. I studied extra hard to make her proud.”

He studied her in silence. When he spoke, his voice was low. “It’s hard for you to lie to your mother, isn’t it?”

She nodded. “I’m not very good at it.”

“Neither am I. Believe it or not, this is all a first for me as well.” His eyes grew serious. “All of it.”

She frowned. What was he saying? Before she could think it through, he went on.

“But I do know this much, if you are going to play a part, you should try to be believable.”

“I can’t make this believable.” She was too close to the edge as it was, too close to letting her heart get the best of her.

“I realize pretending to love me isn’t easy—”

She glanced at him quickly. Was he offended?

“But I’d like to think it’s not impossible.”

“Well, of course not—”

“Just think of it as a game. You are acting out a part.”

“I’m not sure how.”

“For starters, take my hand.” He held out his hand.

She looked from it to his expression. Was he serious?

“Meg, are we or are we not supposed to be happily married?” He waited for her to nod. “Then
act
like you’re in love. Newlyweds touch and hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes.” His voice dropped to a low growl. “Like this.”

Her breath caught in her throat. The look he gave her now bespoke of love and affection. So much so that it made her a bit dizzy. The man was good at this “game,” as he called it. Could she play it as well? Without losing her heart in the process?

Too late,
a small inner voice mocked. Ignoring it,
she took a step toward him and wrapped her hand around his.

“See, that wasn’t so bad. I don’t bite.” Bruce’s smile was pleased.

“How do you know
I
don’t?” she said, turning up one side of her mouth. “You could be risking your very life.”

“I’ll take my chances.” The reply was quiet and firm, and so full of conviction that she looked up in surprise.

He studied her face, and she felt caught by his searching. A cool breeze blew a strand of hair across her cheek. Bruce closed the gap between them and reached up with his free hand to brush the wayward lock back behind her ear. His hand settled on the side of her neck as he continued to gaze at her. Her skin tingled at his touch. She forced herself to breathe.

What was he going to do now? He was so close he could…no, he wouldn’t do that! He wouldn’t kiss her. Maybe she should just kiss him…just to see what it would be like…just to prove she could play this game with the best of them.

He lowered his head, his eyes still on hers, and touched his lips to hers with featherlightness. At least, she thought that’s what happened. Either that or she reached up to kiss him.…

She couldn’t remember. But then, she was hardly capable of coherent thought at the moment. All she could do right now was float on the cloud of pure joy and pleasure of Bruce’s kiss…the feel of his lips on hers…the faint awareness that he was shifting slightly,
drawing her closer—

The sound of a throat being cleared behind them sent a shock through Meghann, and she jumped back and spun around.

“Perfect,” Bruce whispered in her ear as she leaned back against him. The pleasure in his voice was nothing, though, compared to the approval on her mother’s face.

Bruce wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and held her against him. “Hi, Mom,” he said over Meghann’s shoulder.

Even though she couldn’t see him, she could hear the smile in his voice. And she was embarrassed for being caught kissing him. But she knew she shouldn’t be, so she tried to slough it off. But her legs felt like jelly and she needed a moment to get her strength back. She wasn’t sure she could stand on her own and was grateful for the support of his arms around her.

“I’m sorry, Mom. We—we didn’t mean to ignore you.” Meghann brushed at an imaginary piece of dirt on Bruce’s sleeve.

Her mother waved off the apology. “Don’t worry about me. I’m glad to see you kids having fun. I just wanted to say good night. I’m a little tired, so I’m going to bed.”

“We’re going to turn in soon as well.” Bruce nuzzled against Meghann’s hair.

She closed her eyes at the contact. If only she could stay there, leaning against his strength and warmth, his arms securely around her, his lips brushing against her hair. But as soon as her mother was gone, he released her and stepped away, moving back inside. Meghann
stood at the railing, her hands clenching the metal fiercely, struggling to get her roiling emotions under control.

“Play the game,”
he’d said. Well, she had. And suddenly he was acting as though the touch of her burned him and he couldn’t wait to get away from her.

Had he sensed how deeply their brief kiss had affected her? Was he embarrassed by that? Or maybe he’d been repulsed to kiss someone so inexperienced?

She waited out on the balcony for a few minutes, hoping he would come back out and invite her inside or say something encouraging. He never came.

She wandered in and found him in the bedroom. He had left the door conspicuously open. His dark hair looked mussed like he had combed it with his hands. He looked at her and frowned when she closed the door. Was he mad at her? What had she done?

He brushed past her without really touching her on his way to the door. He grabbed the knob.

Why was he leaving so suddenly? She knew her mother couldn’t possibly be asleep yet. What if she heard him leave? “What—Where—”

He turned and looked at her, drawing in a deep breath. “I’ll slip out quietly. She’ll never know I’ve left.” His voice broke with huskiness.

He stared at her a moment longer, then reached up to caress her cheek with the delicateness of a butterfly’s wing. She sighed. He wasn’t mad at her. His touch told her as much.

Then he was gone.

She readied herself for bed in a daze, then lay
awake for a long time, feeling his caress and replaying his kiss. It might be the only time he kissed her and she wanted to cherish it. When this was all over, at least she would have the sweet memories.

Bruce carefully latched the apartment door so as not to make any noise, then sagged against it and raked a hand through his hair. He made it. He got out of there before he gave in to temptation and wrapped Meg in his arms and kissed her—
really
kissed her. With all the passion and emotion raging through him…emotions that had exploded into life when his lips met hers.

He thought kissing her would remove the mystique. It had only intensified it. And it hadn’t been enough. Not by a long shot. He wanted to kiss her again. And again. Could he play this game without losing his heart? Did he even want to try to hold on to his heart? Or was it already hers?

You’re fooling yourself into thinking this is something more than it is. You could have ruined it tonight. Tread lightly or you’ll scare her off. She already thinks you’re a cad, don’t prove her right.

Dear Lord, help me.

For the next week and a half, Meghann made a conscious effort to hold Bruce’s hand or put her arm around his waist in her mother’s presence. It didn’t take long, though, for the actions to become second nature. She was holding his hand without being aware of doing so,
as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

Which it was. What wasn’t going to be natural was stopping.

But she couldn’t go back. As Bruce so often reminded her, appearance was everything. If only it didn’t leave her heart unprotected and vulnerable. If only it didn’t mean, in the end, the hurt would be that much greater.

E
ARLY THE NEXT MORNING
, B
RUCE WALKED IN THE KITCHEN
and was surprised to see Meghann up already. She stood at the counter with her back to him. “Good morning.” He kept his tone casual, trying to rein in his zealous emotions at the sight of her.

She straightened and raised her hands to wipe her face before turning around. The remains of errant tears on her lashes caused an iron fist to clamp around his heart. In an instant he was at her side. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.” She turned away from him.

He took a firm hold of her upper arms and turned her back toward him, then touched her cheek. “You missed one.”

She gave up her denial and began to cry. “I didn’t sleep well. She kept dying over and over in my dreams.”

He tentatively wrapped his arms around her. When her tears had subsided, he smiled down at her, nestled against him. This was good. This was right.

But as though the intimacy of the moment were too much, she stepped back. A chaos of emotions thrashed
around in him as they gazed at each other. He wanted desperately to wrap his arms around her and kiss her. Instead, he caressed a tear from her cheek with gentle fingers.

“Your mother will be fine. Why don’t you go back to bed and try to get some sleep. Don’t worry about coming into the hotel today.” He tried fervently to calm the storm within.

With a sniff and a nod, Meg moved to do as he’d suggested.

Later after Gayle had gotten up and he saw she was looking better than the day before, Bruce slipped into his suit coat and picked up his briefcase. “Tell Meg I’ll call her later.”

She looked up from her tea. “I’m surprised she’s not up already.”

“She didn’t sleep well. Bad dreams. See you later.” He felt uncomfortable knowing…as though he were telling Meghann’s secrets. He exited quickly, hoping her mother hadn’t picked up on his discomfort.

He pressed the elevator button and waited, then the sound of an opening door caught his attention. He turned, and his pulse quickened at the sight of Meghann’s hurried approach. The elevator door slid open. He held it with his hand until she reached him. Her honey-colored hair looked soft and luxurious against her violet sweater. His gaze continued down her jeans and landed on her bare feet. She darted inside the elevator and waited for him. Stepping inside, he released the door. What was she up to? She certainly wasn’t going anywhere without shoes. The doors slid shut.

“I wanted to talk to you before you went off to the hotel.” She looked a bit distressed.

His gaze slipped back down to her bare feet. “I figured as much.”

She wiggled her toes. “Oh.”

He waited through her silence. She fidgeted with her fingers. The elevator stopped on the fifth, third, and second floors to collect more passengers. Bruce didn’t think she was going to tell him what it was that brought her out without her shoes in a small, crowded space. He had stepped closer to her with each group of new passengers until the two of them were tucked securely in the corner, and he drank in her sweet, soft scent. Had they been alone, he seriously doubted he could have resisted the temptation to kiss her. But had they been alone, he wouldn’t have been standing mere inches from her, being enticed.

The elevator came to a stop at the garage level and emptied quickly. He held the door and waited.

He noticed her take a deep breath before starting. “I wanted to apologize for…well, for earlier…when I was upset and everything. You know, crying all over your shirt and all that. I really don’t know why I let a silly dream upset me so much.”

She was babbling again; it seemed to be a habit of hers when she was nervous. He set his briefcase in the doorway to keep the elevator doors open.

She shrugged, going on. “I was crying all over you, and I’m sure your shirt was all wet. I guess I just kept my fear of losing her all locked inside and it finally broke loose.”