Newlywed Games (10 page)

She blinked at him. “Looked…good?”

“To your mom.”

“That’s not why I did it. You know that.”

“It doesn’t matter why, it only matters how it appears to your mother. Appearance is everything.” He removed his hand and made a gesture as if tipping an imaginary hat. “Have a nice day.”

She watched as the doors slid closed on his endearing smile.
Appearances. And you are so good at them.
If she didn’t know better, she would swear he was in love with
her. But then it was all in the way it appeared, wasn’t it? Since he appeared to have deep feelings for her and nothing was as it seemed in reality, he wasn’t in love with her. Right?

Bruce leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on his mahogany desk. What had he done? What had he gotten himself into? He knew better than to get involved in this kind of deception. The Bible was clear on the consequences of lying, on the importance of living in truth.

But when it had come right down to it, a woman’s gratitude had seemed more important than the truth.

Of course, this wasn’t just any woman. It was Meghann Livingston! With any other woman he’d just have brought out the truth as kindly as possible, even if it caused discomfort or some pain. After all, he hadn’t started the lie.

But when he’d looked into those eyes, seen the alarm on that sweet face…he hadn’t thought twice. Just jumped into the fray, playing the gallant hero, joining the charade.

It had made sense then. But now…with every passing moment he teetered between the truth, keeping up the charade, and taking Meghann up on her mythical business trip.

The Bruce Halloway of three years ago wouldn’t have thought twice about pressing his advantage with Meghann if he had ever found himself in a similar situation. He would have been more than happy to manipulate
the circumstances to get exactly what he wanted, to charm his way back into his bedroom.

But he wasn’t that man any longer. What was it Scripture said? He was a new man. Made new from the inside out. Must be true because what used to matter most was him, his desires and wants. And now what mattered most was helping Meg.

He wanted—needed—her to trust him, so in return maybe he could trust, too. There were too few people in his life, if any, that he felt he could truly trust. Instinct and life taught him to rely only on himself.

But there was something about Meghann that drew Bruce in. He found himself wanting to trust her, to tell her all about himself and his past, sordid though it may be.

Don’t be stupid. Let people know too much about you, and they can and will use it against you.

No, Meghann wasn’t like that; he knew it in his heart. Still, he just couldn’t bring himself to risk it just yet. He had to be sure of his own feelings first. Had to be sure she really was someone he could trust. All he knew now was that he had never felt for another woman what he felt for Meg.

Of course, the easiest solution would be to follow Meg’s suggestion, to pretend to go away on some business trip. But he didn’t want to do that. No, what he wanted was to be near Meghann. And while their bogus marriage might have a lot of drawbacks, it did allow him that. Time with Meg.

Besides, they weren’t doing this just as a lark. It was for Meg’s mother. The woman was clearly still fragile, and if this would help her regain her health, then it was
worth it, wasn’t it? It wasn’t as though he were toying with Meghann’s affection. She knew as well as he that this wasn’t real.…

Even as he made the assertion, he saw again the way she’d looked at him this morning: the uncertainty, the questions swirling in those big, green eyes; eyes he could easily drown in.…

He shook his head, then uttered a sigh. With any luck, down the road they would laugh about this, and they would draw closer together because of it. And when her mother was strong enough to hear the truth, he would be the first to tell her.

Who are you really serving? Meg’s mom, or yourself?

Bruce stared at the wall.
Meg’s mom,
he insisted.
This whole charade is for her benefit.

“Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example.…No deceit was found in this mouth.”

But He was never in this situation! What if I’d told on Meg? What if I’d told her mother the truth and she’d relapsed?

Do not use deception.
…

I didn’t have a choice!
But even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t true.

The ringing phone interrupted his internal debate. He lifted the phone. “Yes?”

“Didn’t we have a meeting at two o’clock?” George Phenton said over the line.

Bruce glanced at his watch: 2:20. “Yes, George, we did. I’m sorry. Time got away from me. I’ll be right there.”

Bruce grabbed a couple of files and marched down the hall to the general manager’s office. George’s secretary waved him to go on in.

George wasn’t waiting behind his desk but was seated in one of the brown leather chairs flanking the matching leather couch, files strewn across the coffee table.

Bruce sat in the other chair and tried to focus his attention on the business at hand. But for the life of him, he couldn’t keep his mind from drifting back to Meghann Livingston and her problem. She needed his help, and it was within his power to give it to her. Surely God wanted him to help her.

When he came back to the present, George was spouting something about the renovations. And he was sorry the work wasn’t going to get done on schedule. Since when did anything get done on time? After they had hashed out what to do about the renovation problems, discussed the upcoming ball and various other hotel matters, George asked, “Is something on your mind?”

The question took Bruce by surprise. “Why?”

“You’re never late for a meeting and time doesn’t just ‘get away from you.’ You’ve only been half here since you walked in.” George settled back in his chair. “What’s up? Anything I can help you with?”

Bruce took a deep breath and thought for a moment. He did want advice, but how much should he tell? “Have you ever done something that was maybe technically wrong, but it was to help someone else?”

“The end justifying the means?”

“Something like that.”

“This ‘something’ wouldn’t be illegal or have anything to do with the hotel, would it?” George shuffled
some papers and straightened a few files.

Bruce shook his head. “No, nothing illegal or to do with this place.” He raised one foot and rested his ankle on the opposite knee, trying to appear relaxed. “It’s…personal.”

“Well, if it’s not illegal and it’s helping someone, I don’t see any problems.”

“But something doesn’t have to be illegal to be wrong.”

“If it’s bothering you, then put it right.”

Bruce slipped his foot down and leaned forward. “Then I hurt two people.”

George, too, leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “Is it something you can live with?”

“I guess so.” The truth was he couldn’t just abandon Meg, but he wasn’t so sure he could live with their lie for much longer, either.

“Then accept it, forget it, and move on.”

He would try to accept it, but he could neither forget it nor move on, not when he was living with it daily. Meghann had become very important to him, and he felt a deep need to help her in any way possible.

If only the way presented to him didn’t make him feel as though he were selling out on something even more important than Meg.

Lord, help me out here.
…

But there was no reply. Just silence—and a small but undeniable sense of divine displeasure.

M
EGHANN AND BRUCE RETURNED TO HIS APARTMENT AFTER A
Saturday afternoon visit to take care of Lucky while Gayle rested. Revived from her nap, she greeted them energetically. “What time do I need to be ready to leave for church in the morning?”

Oh, dear…church.
Meg glanced at Bruce in dismay. The three of them couldn’t show up at church together! Her mom would wonder why no one knew Meg was married and had never seen her husband before. A wave of guilt rushed through her for not having considered church services. She racked her brain for a reason not to go but came up empty.

“I’ve been wanting to check out Grace Bible Church. If you ladies are game, I’d like to take you,” Bruce said.

Perfect.
She sighed.
That solved that problem.

“Fine with me,” Gayle said.

He turned to Meghann for her answer. When she failed to respond, he nudged her gently. “Darling, is it okay with you if we go to a new church?”

“I’m sorry,” she said, coming out of her daze. “That sounds great. I’d love to.” Good thing she’d picked a man who thought so quickly on his feet for her make-believe mate.

And it doesn’t hurt that he is handsome, wonderful, Christian, kind, considerate, thoughtful
…

No, she admitted, it didn’t hurt in the least. And the list could go on and on. Bruce Halloway was, in a word, perfect.

What a pity their relationship wasn’t. Wasn’t perfect. Wasn’t…period.

Meghann turned away, suddenly depressed. This month had better go quickly, or she was going to need therapy to recover!

Going to a new church was harder than Meghann had thought it would be. From the moment she walked through the doors on Bruce’s arm she felt oddly conspicuous, as though she was on trial. She wondered what the verdict would be?

A man who looked to be in his seventies greeted them. His name tag read
Bill Neilsen.
He was a friendly man who obviously enjoyed his role as greeter, but when he smiled at her, she felt as though he could see straight into her soul. As though somehow the wisdom of years could see beyond the facade.

He introduced them to another couple, Margaret and Frank, who in turn introduced them to their son and daughter-in-law, Frank Jr. and Sue.

“I could tell you two were newlyweds,” Sue whispered
to Meghann as the men exchanged pleasantries about their jobs. “You have that shy, self-conscious, new-wife look with the glow of young love still on your face.”

It was more like that fear and trepidation, I-hope-no-one-guesses-we’re-frauds look. As for the glow, nervous perspiration could account for that.

Was it her imagination or were people staring at them? She glanced around but no one seemed to have their eyes fixed on them. An occasional nod of acknowledgment and friendly smile but no overt attention.

Meghann couldn’t wait to escape into the sanctuary, to get away from any prying eyes. Once in the pew, she found herself wedged between Bruce and her mother.

Singing the opening hymn wasn’t nearly as refreshing as it usually was. That hymn was followed by another before the welcoming and announcements were made.

The Scripture reading was from Colossians 3:1–12. Meghann felt adrift without her Bible, but Bruce slid his over so it straddled both their laps.

As the man read, Meghann followed along until verse 9. Her brain came to a screeching halt. “Do not lie to each other.…” It echoed in her head over and over, louder and louder, until it was all she could hear.

Bruce cupped her elbow to bring her to her feet. Everyone around her was standing. She got up quickly and looked at the hymnal Bruce held open. The hymn was unfamiliar to her, but she found the place and joined in. Her voice trailed off on the second verse when
one of the words was
lies.
When the song finally ended, she slumped back in the pew. This was going to be a
long
service. One where God’s piercing darts of truth seemed aimed straight at her heart.

Meghann shifted uneasily as the pastor began to preach. The closer he got to verse 9 the more fidgety she became. Her mother gave her the look she had received many times as a child. It meant sit still and quit squirming.

“Do not lie to one another,” the pastor quoted. Did he really say it louder than the rest or was it her imagination? “What about bending the truth? If it is not 100 percent the truth, it is a lie. Even Satan speaks truth 95 percent of the time. It’s the 5 percent you have to watch out for. Though you may never get caught, it will eat you up inside. It will haunt you and hound you, plaguing your innermost being. If you are a child of God, He won’t let up until you confess and make yourself right with Him and others.”

How could she tell the truth now? Her lie was so big. It involved so many people. It was only supposed to affect her, but lies have a way of growing and being found out…and hurting people. She wanted to run and hide. To start over.

She breathed a sigh of relief as they exited the church. It was finally over. She always looked forward to and even longed for Sunday morning worship. It was life and breath to her. This morning it was all she could do to endure. The verdict was in—GUILTY!

Next Sunday she planned to be sick.