New Love (Angels Warriors MC Trilogy Book 0) (2 page)

I leave the cemetery in a hurry once I hear the sound of a motorcycle pull up. I know who it is—who it always is. I don’t know why, but ever since she was buried, I’ve been coming here. Just to talk to her. I feel so guilty, loving her husband. She was still alive when I fell for him. Well, she was and she wasn’t, all at the same time. I only caught bits of it as I walked the halls
—
something about her brother shooting her in the head, being brain dead, and Mason refusing to turn off the machines keeping her alive.

There also may have been a kiss— one stupid kiss that I started. I shouldn’t have done it; I know I shouldn’t have. But, oh my God, when he came in the NICU, demanding that Cindy wasn’t doing a good job watching over his son, he was so damn hot. He is so primal and commands a woman’s attention. He caught mine that day, all of it.

It was completely wrong, and when we were alone, I let him have it. As I yelled back at him, he looked almost amused. He just let me berate him with my fury, waving my hands, shaking my fist. I gave it good, and he just took it all in, smirking at me with a curled lip. Then I don’t know why, but at that moment, I stretched up and kissed him. It didn’t even last a second before he started kissing me back, heavy, wet, deep, with his hands grabbing at my ass. His mouth opened, and our tongues collided, wrapping around each other angrily. It was hot and passionate. So hot, so beautiful. When the buzzer went off, letting someone in the unit, he threw me away from him and wiped his mouth, like I had burned him.

He looked pissed, sad, and disgusted all at the same time, and left without a word. When he left, I felt dirty. I just made a move on another woman’s man. I felt ashamed, but I was also hot for him. I wanted him to turn around and come back and reclaim my mouth, but he didn’t. He probably went to his wife.

From what I had heard, her situation didn’t look good. All the doctors said she would never pull through, considering she had no brain activity. But Mason was still holding onto hope. He loved her, I knew, but I still wanted him.

So there I was, a whore, a stupid ass whore, throwing herself at a married man. I was no better than that slut, Lacey, who had slept with my husband.

The husband I left when I found him in bed with her. I married Sam three years ago, thinking he was the man of my dreams. Boy was I wrong. I didn’t know anything about him in the end, not when he was sleeping with that cow. I was so stupid. What does that say about me now, wanting Mason…?

I later found out she used to be a club girl, one of the old club girls from back in the times when the Angels were the Satan’s. Since all the club girls had been kicked out when Jasper took over, some of the girls became either strippers or escorts.

I didn’t live here during those days. I lived in Red Deer, only moving here to Airdrie once I got my nursing degree. I decided to apply to be a nurse at this hospital, mainly because I had no family left, and since this is where my parents and grandparents all were buried, it was like fate when I was accepted.

My first year in, I met Sam. He was an ER doctor here, and at the time, I was working in the ER as a nurse. It seemed too good to be true, because it was. Sam was a no good cheat, and I was the dumbass who fell for him.

Sam no longer works at the hospital. Apparently, he didn’t make many friends, and once it came out we were divorcing because he cheated on me with a hooker... well, people were openly hostile toward him.  I was bitter and made a big scene about the ordeal. He was shamed, and though I didn’t feel any better about the situation, he deserved it. He ended up moving to New Brunswick as soon as he signed his name on our divorce papers. Good riddance!

I drive off in my beat up old car and head home to my apartment. Sliding a few times coming to stops because of the slick roads, I realize I really need to get some winter tires. I’ve kept putting it off, mainly because I’m still paying off my school loans. I’m sort of strapped on cash.

I make it home safe and sound, and grab the phonebook, searching for somewhere to get my tires done. I end up calling Angel’s shop. He apparently has a sale going on with his tires right now, and said they can set up a payment plan. I just have to go by the shop on Monday on my way to work, and he’ll get it done quickly for me.

I hang up the phone and go to the fridge, seeing that I’m out of just about everything. Sighing, I shut the door and call in for a pizza.

I wake up to the sound of my son crying. Looking over at the clock, I realize it’s two in the morning. I rub my face and throw back the covers, then walk over to the playpen on the other side of my room—of mine and Hilary’s room. My wife should be here, taking turns waking in the night to feed him. I’m not cut out for this shit—parenthood. Hunter needs way more than I can give.

I lean over and watch him cry for a moment before gently picking him up. “Hey, little man,” I say softly. His cheeks are red, but he doesn’t have any tears. I never leave him to cry for long. He instantly quietens at my voice, soothed by my embrace. His warm head is resting against my shoulder. “Are you hungry or need a diaper?” I feel of his diaper, but it feels dry. He must be hungry. The boy has an appetite like his old man.

As I cradle him in my arms, I move out of the room and down to the kitchen to warm him up a bottle. He whines, getting impatient, wanting to be fed. A few seconds later, I’m sitting on the couch, feeding him. Looking down at him in my arms as he sucks on the nipple of the bottle, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed. His greedy mouth suckles hard; his eyes are wide open, staring at me in wonderment. I can only stare back, wondering what he sees when he looks at me. Does he see a gentle loving man, or does he too know the monster that rages under my skin?

Hunter finishes his bottle, and I continue holding him for a little while longer, just staring at him. I hurt for him. He’ll never know the light that was his mother. He’ll never grow up with her reaming him out for doing something stupid with his friends. He’ll never get Hilary’s lectures on how to properly treat a woman.

I can’t teach him that shit. What do I know about treating a woman right?

Maybe I should call Mona or even Lilly up, see if they want to raise Hunter. They’d do a fuck of a lot better job than I ever would.

He grins lazily at me as his eyes flutter. One tiny fist is curled around my large thumb. A soft burp sounds from his tiny mouth, sending the rancid smell of formula to my nose. I don’t know how the boy drinks this shit, but he sucks it down like I would a beer. With my son cradled against my chest, I pace the room, bouncing him gently. Just when I think he has fallen back to sleep, he begins to cry again. He needs a new diaper.

I have one hand on his warm swollen stomach to hold him still as I reach for a wipe.  When I unlatch the dirty diaper, cool air hits his little pecker, and he pisses all over my damn shirt.  I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry. “You little asshole,” I grit out with a snarl. His little lips pucker, and he begins to wail at my harsh tone.  I pick him up, feeling like a pure loser for scaring him. “I’m sorry. Daddy is sorry, buddy.”

Fuck, I can’t do this. I can’t believe I just got so fuckin’ pissed at him. I carry him out to the living room and grab my phone. I know it’s extremely early in the morning, but I just can’t fuckin’ do this.

“Hello?” I hear Henry’s sleepy voice answer Mona’s phone.

For a moment, I want to hang up and throw the phone. Instead, I grit my teeth. “Put Mona on the phone.”

“Mason? It’s three in the morning. Is everything okay?” he asks me.

“As I said, put Mona on the fuckin’ phone,” I growl out, scaring Hunter again. Hunter is pouting, his small frame trembling. My son is scared of me. He knows I am not a good man.

I hear shuffling and Henry whispering for Mona to wake up.

“‘Lo?” she answers.

“Hey, I need you to take Hunter,” I tell her.

“Why? Is everything okay?” she asks, suddenly sounding wide awake.

“No. No, everything is not okay. I can’t do this.”

“Mason,” she says softly. “You don’t have a choice. You are his father. You need to figure out this fatherhood thing.”

“Mona, you aren’t hearin’ me. I can’t do this.” I stress to her.

“Well, that’s too bad for you.” She hangs up on me.

“Fuck!” I bark out, once again startling Hunter. “I can’t fuckin’ do shit right at all.”

I dial Lilly’s number and put the phone to my ear. Ring three, it finally gets picked up. “Reaper, man, why the fuck you calling so late?” Zippo asks, answering the phone.

“I need you guys to take Hunter.”

“No. He’s your son. Lilly will babysit any time you need, but you don’t need that right now. Grow the hell up, man. Take care of your son.” He hangs up on me, too.

I fight the urge to throw my phone across the room when Hunter starts making little noises. Fuck, they are cute. I look down at him, and his huge eyes look right back at me. I can feel the love he has for me through those eyes, and I feel like fuckin’ shit.

No one should love me. I’m nothing.

His finger curls around mine, and he sucks on it for comfort. Fuck. I pry my finger from him and find his binky. He settles back to sleep, but I can’t sleep a motherfuckin’ wink.

“Hilary,” I choke out her name. “I cannot do this on my own. Fuckin’ need you, baby…” I place her photo down on my chest as I lie in our bed, listening to the sound of Hunter sucking on his binky.

I get up a little early, since every Monday morning I stop by the cemetery. Today, I have to get up even earlier since I also need to drop my car off at the shop. I go to the counter and grab the bundle of flowers I bought yesterday, and head out to my car.

I don’t even get the chance to pull into the cemetery gates before I start sliding and crash into it. “Shit!” I shout at myself.

I get out of my car, bundled up in my coat and mittens, and go inspect the damage. Should have gotten winter tires way before now. Such an idiot. Sighing and kicking my car, I grab my cell phone out of my purse that’s sitting in the passenger seat.

“Angel’s,” the voice on the phone answers as I put the phone to my ear. Huh, that was fast. Not even a full ring.

“Hey, um, I have an appointment this morning with Jasper to change my tires and all that. However, I just crashed my car. Any way I can get a tow?”

“You betcha, just hang on and I’ll send someone out right away. Where are you at?” This girl is bubbly. Holy moly is she bubbly! It’s only seven in the morning; it should be illegal.

I tell her I’m at the Cemetery, and she says someone will be here to grab me in a few minutes. I put my phone back into my purse and call my work, letting them know there is a slight chance I’ll be a little late.

Before I finish my call, I hear a truck coming down the road. I look up and freeze. Inside the tow truck is Mason.

He climbs down from the truck, and looks at me without speaking, as a muscle in his jaw ticks. “Why are you here?”

I frown at him. “Placing flowers.”

“You the one putting ugly ass flowers my wife hates on her grave?” he asks.

“Um...”  Shit, he is not happy. He is irritated at me. I can feel the anger pouring off him. He cracks his neck, and my stomach drops. I don’t like the way he is scowling at me. At the same time, as scary as he appears, he is also hot. He has on dark denim jeans with a few holes around the pockets from wear, and a dark, long-sleeved tee under his cut. He scratches his beard in thought as I take all of him in. I don’t know if I want to run or chance kissing him again. I should run away and stop having these thoughts about him, but I can’t help the attraction I feel.

He walks around me, looking in my car, then opens the door and takes a bundle of flowers out. Before I can ask him what the hell he’s doing, he takes them and tosses them across the street. The glass vase they were in smashes, pieces of it flying everywhere.

“Oh my word! Why would you do that? Do you not think of children, ever? What if some kids are playing and they step on it, huh? Or they fall down and cut their hands, arms, or legs, or hell, their faces!? It would be your fault. How dare you!” I shout at him. I know he is angry, but this… I wasn’t expecting this reaction over some flowers. I thought he might yell at me or something, but to destroy my property... Jerk!

“It will get cleaned up, but don’t ever fuckin’ come here again,” he growls at me.

I place my hands on my hips. “You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do, you jerk! It’s a free country. Plus, not sure if you noticed the graves beside your wife’s, but those are my grandparents’.” I also point to the other bundle of flowers I have in my car. I was actually going to use the flowers of the bundle he threw to spread across my parents’ graves, too, but I don’t feel the need to just randomly blurt out about my parents being dead, too. Don’t need that sympathy. “You threw the wrong flowers, asshole. Thanks a lot.” I snarl at him. “You think you are the only person who has ever lost someone they loved. Well, think again… you aren’t the only person on the planet that knows what loss is!”

His face loses his nasty glare, and he just stares at me in shock.

“Hitch my car up, you asshole, and on the way to the shop, don’t even bother talking to me, not unless you want me to gouge your eyes out with my nails.” I stomp around him and get into the passenger side of his tow truck. Unbelievable! This is not how I planned on starting my day. He just ruined my whole week with his shitty attitude.

It takes him a few minutes to hitch my car, and then he climbs into the truck, turning the heat down. Once we’re on the road, I turn the heat back up. We drive in silence, and the second we pull into the parking lot of the shop, I jump down... and wipe out. In front of everyone, I totally fall on my ass. My face is flaming red, and not from the cold chill of the air.

A hand grabs my arm and pulls me up, pulling me tight into a hard solid body. I look up and see Mason, glaring at me. “Watch what you’re doing.” He lets me go and walks around to the back of the truck. He infuriates me and turns me on. I hate it. I love it. I want him. I shouldn’t have these feelings swirling inside me, but I do.

I walk into the office, ignoring the people that are standing outside staring at me, and see a girl sitting behind the desk. “Hey, you are Moira, right?” she asks.

“Yes,” I say curtly.

“I’m Shawn, new girl here.” She catches the look on my face when she tells me her name, because honestly, Shawn has to be short for Shawna, right? “My parents thought I was a boy until I was born, then named me Shawn anyways. Parents, eh?” she says, shrugging with a smile, then looks behind me. “Jasper, hey,” she says smiling.

“Shawn, can you get Moira here the keys to Eden’s SUV that’s parked out back?” he asks her.

“Sure thing, boss!” She salutes with a smile.

“Moira, it will take me the day to buff out that dent you put on the front end, and then do the tires. What time you get off work?” he asks me.

“Four,” I tell him, glancing at my watch. I love my watch; it belonged to my grandma. She gave it to me for my birthday one year, and I have never taken it off except to replace the battery.

He scratches at his beard. “Won’t be ready by then, but Eden doesn’t need the SUV back until tomorrow, so I can drop your car to your place and switch it out with hers. Sound good?”

I smile. “Yeah, that’s fine. Thank you.” That is really considerate. Glad to see Angel has manners, even if Mason doesn’t.

Shawn comes back to the room with the keys and passes them to me. “Don’t crash please,” Jasper says, a smirk playing at his mouth.

“I’ll drive even slower than my gram. Don’t worry,” I tell him with a grin.

I’m about to walk out of the office to locate the SUV I’ll be using, when he stops me with a hand on my shoulder. “Sorry about Mason. He’s still having it rough,” Jasper says quietly.

I shrug and shake my head. “Doesn’t excuse him from talking to me the way he did today. He’s lucky I’m wearing my winter boots, or my pointy heels would have been embedded in his crotch.”

With that, Jasper throws his head back and bursts out laughing.

“I’d love to see that.” He laughs again.

I walk out to the lot and hit the button on the key fob to find out where my loaner is. Once I spot it, I open the door and hop in. Before I close the door, though, I hear a growling noise. Looking out the passenger side window, I see Mason standing there, glaring at the SUV.

Wonder what that’s about?