New Beginnings (New Beginnings Series) (39 page)

Walking into the hotel they were both taken by surprise at how bright it was. Around the walls of the lobby were fixtures that shone and made everything clear. Without asking they both knew after seeing the lights outside these must be the interior style of electric lighting. Even the inside of the elevator was well illuminated with a bulb they did not notice before. Continuing into the hallway they were again greeted by the almost daylight brightness, much different to the kerosene or gas lighting they were accustomed to. Entering their darkened room, Sam reached on the wall for a switch he turned and immediately the light in the small chandelier in the middle of the sitting room ceiling came on. Sara looked closely at the porcelain base with a key-shaped handle on the wall. She couldn’t resist and gave it a turn and with a ‘click’ the room again became dark. Another turn and the room was bright once again. Sara laughed in amusement at this new discovery. Not being used to such convenience they both had to stand for a few moments, with little to say other than, “Amazing”.

The appointment was set for 9:30 a.m. with Dr. Evans at the Jefferson Medical College on Saturday morning. Sara had a hard time sleeping the night before, being in an unfamiliar place. More than that, she worried about what the outcome would be from the pending appointment and if the doctor agreed with her suspicions. She rose before six, enjoying the convenience of their private suite and ran herself a warm bath and relaxed in the tub. She was amazed again at the progress made in technology, with running water, lights and telephones, many things she had never considered as being possible and started to wonder if medicine may have advanced the same way.

Sam woke to find her side of the bed empty, pulled on his robe and went searching for his wife. As she was not on the balcony he turned to the bathroom. Seeing the light was on inside and the door slightly ajar, he quietly pushed it open slightly farther. He leaned against the door jamb watching as she lay back in the water, her eyes closed. He stood for a short time, until her eyes opened and she softly smiled to see him watching her. “Do you think there is room for two?” he quietly asked.

“Only one way to find out,” her eyebrows gave a quick rise offering the suggestion of an invitation. She leaned ahead so he could slide in behind her, then sat upon his lap, as he wrapped his arms around and pulled her close. As she rested her head back against his, feeling his cheek against hers, he ran his hands over her body, feeling the gentle curves. He lathered his hands with the soap and proceeded to tend to his wife, insisting she rest quietly. He loved the smell of her lavender soap and bath oil, as he identified it as her scent. He rinsed the soap and with knowing hands eased the tension in her shoulders with a soothing massage. He took her hands, kissed her hard and whispered, “Let’s go to bed, I want to make love with you.”

They quickly rose out of the tub, splashing water as they did and spent little time toweling off before he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the next room. He always made love to her gently, as if he was scared she could break, or he would hurt her and never wanted to harm her in anyway.

Afterwards they lay in each other’s arms. “I always thought I wasn’t supposed to like ‘it’. That ‘it’ was just a duty for the wife to satisfy her husband,” Sara said.

“So you have said before,” Sam answered smiling at her, “many times.”

“You are always so eager to make sure I am happy. I hope it is always good for you, too,” she said, quite seriously.

“It’s like going to heaven, I think and if heaven feels half as good, it will be a good place to spend eternity … but only if you are with me.”

They both slept after, holding each other as close as possible. They stayed until the light from the day came into their room, gradually waking them, leaving little time to prepare for the appointment.

They walked five blocks along Chestnut Street, then continued south on Tenth Street to the college. Dr. Evans’ office was in the only building which housed the new medical school. The building was large, but was almost empty of people and the halls echoed with their steps on the wooden floors.

Realizing Sara was rather anxious about the visit, Sam held her arm, his hand placed over hers, offering a gentle squeeze occasionally.

Dr. Evans was a kind, older man and he explained most of the students went home for the Christmas break. He was sorry he would be away until after the New Year. Any tests they complete would have to wait for the results.

The three sat in his office and talked over cups of coffee, although Sara still left hers untouched. A nurse came in to make notes of the interview as the doctor confessed, “I can’t read my own writing and I really can’t imagine how anyone else could.”

Doctor Brown from Brandon and his brother from Montreal had sent him a relatively complete history, but Dr. Evans wanted to hear everything from Sara. He wanted to learn about all the children she gave birth to, every pregnancy and how it progressed. It was hard on her and Sam tightly held her hand, or put his arm around her as she told the long story. There were times she stopped for a moment, as the words caught in her throat, but after what felt like hours she completed the information. The nurse occasionally had to stop, feeling Mrs. Fielding’s grief in the situation.

Sara finished before she told about the last birth, but Sam knew it was important and told the doctor all he knew. Sara’s eyes stared down at the floor and the occasional tear fell from her chin onto the front of her dress leaving a wet mark which gradually grew. She sat completely still, not wiping her eyes. Sam continued to tell about Catherine’s baby, which may not have been physically important, but probably was emotionally. The nurse stopped writing to get more coffee. Her look of total empathy told the truth when she returned as to why she had to leave.

“It sounds like the syndrome we have been trying to do a study on,” the doctor started, “although we really have not made any progress. We don’t understand yet, why some people, we are guessing at less than ten percent, are missing an element in the blood. Like you, everything is fine until the second and generally subsequent babies are born. You mentioned you thought your mother also had this same condition and you wonder why you were spared the same fate as your siblings. From time to time it seems to happen and that child’s blood also misses the element.

“The only people we see already have the problem so therefore a complete study has not been done and we really don’t understand it yet. The only thing we are certain is the element is always lacking in the mother’s blood and is always present in the father’s when there are problems. We have reached the conclusion when both the mother and father have, or do not have this element in the blood, normal babies are born. We will test the blood from both of you, but I must warn you, it is a slim chance they are both lacking the element.”

“Mrs. Fielding, I would like to give you a complete examination. I realize that you probably have not had this done before. In my opinion every woman of childbearing years should have it done, but as yet few of my colleagues agree. This will help rule out other problems which could exist, whether or not the element is present in the blood test.”

The doctor and the nurse rose from their chairs, but Sara remained sitting, squeezing Sam’s hand tightly, until her own knuckles were turning white.

“It’s all right, I’ll go with you,” Sam encouraged her.

“Actually, we prefer the husband to use the waiting room while we do the exam,” Dr. Evans explained.

Another tear fell from Sara’s chin, splashing onto her husband’s hand. He stood up and spoke sternly to the doctor, the days of his power showed their advantage. “We are in this together. I will stay with my wife as you are doing this exam. I will hold her hand and I will stay out of your way, but I will stay with her.”

“Most husbands will find this disturbing, Mr. Fielding.”

“I am not most husbands, Dr. Evans. I stayed with her when Doc Brown pulled the baby from her and I will stay with her now.”

“You weren’t in love with me then,” Sara’s voice trembled.

He sat down beside her, “I have always been in love with you, Sara. Do you want me to stay with you?”

To this, she slowly nodded her answer.

“Well, this is unusual, but I guess seeing as you have come so far, I will agree, as long as you sit by your wife’s head and stay out of my way.” The doctor, too, was stern, but did appear to understand.

The nurse took Sara to the examination room so she could change out of her street clothes. As the doctor and Sam waited, he said, “I loved my wife like that, too. In fact, it was when I lost her during childbirth I decided to go into this specialty, to help other women who have birthing problems.” He put his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I wish I could say there is any amount of hope for this, but I’m afraid I have very little.”

In the room next to the doctor’s office, Sara lay on the table with only a light gown and a sheet covering her. The doctor directed Sam to the stool by her head and he immediately sat looking deeply into his wife’s eyes, holding one hand and brushing her hair back with the other.

The doctor worked quickly and as gently as possible, asking Sara often if anything hurt or was tender. He seemed to be deep in thought when he asked, “It was what, about two months ago when you gave birth?”

“Yes,” she answered.

“And your cycle hasn’t started again yet?”

“No,” she answered simply.

 
“You can get dressed, Mrs. Fielding,” Dr. Evans said as he went to the sink. “Then come back into the office and we will take a small sample of blood from both of you.”

Sam stayed with Sara to help her redress, as she still trembled slightly. He held her close for a moment. “The hard part is finished.”

“The hard part will be waiting until the new year to hear the results.”

“We will forget about everything for ten days and enjoy Christmas and our honeymoon.”

The doctor was sitting behind his desk with his chair leaned back when they returned to the office. The nurse followed behind them to take more notes if needed.

As soon as they took their seats, the doctor spoke. “It seems physically you are fine.” Sara was almost holding her breath, waiting for his words. “I suspect your problem is exactly what we have been discussing. We will take those blood samples before you leave, but I am afraid the results won’t be ready today and everyone is leaving at noon and won’t be returning until Monday after next. I am sorry to make you wait like this but I have already made arrangements for the holidays. Mr. Fielding, could you go with the nurse to give your blood sample?”

Sam gave Sara’s hand a quick squeeze and waited for her nod before he left, the nurse closing the door behind them.

Doctor Evans looked directly at Sara, “I have a feeling you are not telling me something, Mrs. Fielding. Would you be able to share it with me now?

“I believe I am pregnant again, possibly four weeks?” she quietly answered.

“Because you have been sick this last week?”

“That is one reason. I have also been so very tired but when I lost my taste for coffee I was quite certain as it happens every time I am pregnant.”

The doctor stayed quiet then asked, “And how do you feel about this, Mrs. Fielding?”

She looked down at her hands again and shrugged her shoulders and shook her head slightly. Quietly she said “Please don’t tell Sam yet.”

“No, I would expect that would be best coming from you. But remember, it isn’t the end of the world. There is a chance.”

“A very small chance.”

“But a chance nonetheless,” he answered her look of disappointment.

Sara took her turn going to the small laboratory with the nurse to leave the sample of blood. Sam was waiting in the hallway as she walked by. “There’s nothing to it,” he answered her questioning look.

She answered with a smile which looked more or less sincere, but the shine was missing from her eyes, which he learned to read so well. It made him wonder how he could keep her mind off of the pending results for nearly two weeks, almost an eternity when waiting for such an important report. It would be hard but he was determined to try his best.

Stepping out onto the street from the medical building Sam stopped, looked east and west along Samson Street, wondering for a moment what they should do. Sara was quiet and her face showed an expression he had not seen in a long time … or rather the lack of expression. When he asked what she would like to do, she shrugged her shoulders, offering no hint of a suggestion.

It was near noon, but he knew she would have little appetite until he could ease her mind, something he may gain a lot of experience at in the next two weeks.

“Let’s walk,” he offered. “Maybe toward the waterfront.”

Sara took his arm as he offered it to her. At the moment she wished she had a place to hide again, a place where she could watch time pass by in front of her and not participate. She tried to remind herself how isolated she had been in those days in the Brandon Hills but for some reason could not pull herself out of the loneliness she felt. She looked at the man who held her arm in his, who would do anything for her. This was the man she could tell anything to, her deepest, darkest secret … but today she had one she didn’t know how to tell him. Talking to Sam, she could fix any worry, any problem, but not this one … no amount of discussion could fix this one and how heavily it weighed on her.