Never Turn Away (Kellington Book Six) (17 page)

Evelyn was frozen to the spot, still holding her
skirts above her knees.  Joseph grasped her arm, pulling her from the room. 
“You can put your skirts down now,” he hissed, as he more or less carried her
back to his office.  Fortunately, she’d left the door open or he would have had
to kick it in.

He sat her down, bolted the door, then paced.

“You were very brave,” she said.  “I thought for
certain he would kill that young man, but you…”

“What in the devil did you think you were doing?  I
told you to stay here and lock the door!”  All the emotions of the last several
minutes were now raining down upon him.  The readiness for battle, the anger,
the fear he’d felt when he’d seen his man in peril.  Then on top of that was
the terror he’d known when he’d seen Evelyn in the same room as that murderer. 
To think she could have been hurt.  It was all too much.

She tilted her head and looked at him.  “Did I
embarrass you?  I wanted to distract him and that was the only way I could
think to do it.  You were splendid when you…”

Once again he cut her off, but this time he lifted
her out of the chair and tossed her onto the desk.  He stood between her legs
and began kissing her.  Not in the polite way a gentleman would kiss a lady. 
But like the raw, common, uneducated bastard that he was.

His hands were all over her, divesting her of her
coat, gloves and bonnet.  His lips took her mouth hungrily, then slid down her
neck, sucking at her pulse point.  He was using every trick he knew to seduce
her and didn’t care that he wasn’t playing fair.  If she told him to stop, he
would.  But he wasn’t about to volunteer.

His hands had already deftly untied the laces
holding her bodice closed.  He slid one hand to her breasts, squeezing both
until she moaned.  Her hands were roaming his body.  One was at his back to
keep her balance.  The other was sliding down his chest until it reached his
cock.  He moaned.  Loudly.  But he could not be quiet.  She smiled, but her
fingers stilled.  He placed his hand over hers, pressing her to him, hard. 

“Rub me, sweetheart.  Grip me hard.” 

She did as he asked and he almost exploded.

He reached down to pull up her skirts, then he laid
her down so her back was on the desk.  He found the slit in her drawers with
one hand, while with the other he freed himself from his pantaloons.  Her
fingers wrapped around him and he almost came.

He was holding on to sanity by the thinnest of
threads.  But he was lucid enough to know he could not make her first time be
on top of his desk at Bow Street.  That would make a mockery of what this was. 
He looked into her beautiful green eyes.  “I’m not going to take your
innocence.  Not here.  Not like this.  But I want to do things to you no gentleman
should do.  May I?  Will you allow me?”

Words seemed to fail her, so she nodded
enthusiastically.

He pressed his cock through the slit of her drawers,
until he was pressed against the wet heart of her.  And she was very wet.  She
must feel at least some of the attraction he did.  He began moving against her,
wanting nothing more than to be inside her, but using whatever restraint and
honor he still possessed to be satisfied with rubbing against her.  It became
more difficult when she began riding him.  She’d caught on to the rhythm
quickly, matching his pace, rubbing against him.  He wouldn’t last long, not
with her behaving like the wanton he loved.

Loved. 

He did not dwell on the emotion long.  But he would later.

“Come for me, sweetheart,” he said.  “Come for me.”

She did as bid and not a moment too soon.  As soon
as she crested, he pulled away, turned his body and with two quick strokes found
his release.

They were both breathing heavily and he could barely
stand.  He looked down at her, hoping he wouldn’t see the recrimination he
surely deserved – he’d taken her on a desk at Bow Street – but her face and
chest were flushed.  Her eyes were still dilated, her lips were swollen and
parted and all he wanted was to drive himself into her.  This time all the way
into her and not just near the place he wanted to be.

He stepped back just in time.  She tried to sit up,
but wobbled.  He was there immediately, helping her to right herself.  He laced
her up as best he could.  Her hair was in disarray and she looked like she’d
just been thoroughly tumbled.  But no sooner had she focused her eyes than they
went wide with horror.

She must have just figured out what they’d done.  He
braced himself, but once again she surprised him.

“You’re bleeding!” she cried, gently running her
hands over his shoulder where blood was indeed seeping through his shirt. 
“That man cut you with his knife.”

“No, love,” said Joseph, as he opened his shirt to
check the bleeding.  “I simply reopened my wound when I fought with him.  This
is from when I was shot while helping Liam rescue Rosalind.”

“Someone shot you!” 

“A few people have had that honor.  But I am fine, I
assure you.  Jane did an excellent job tending to my wound before.”

“Then you must see her again now.”

“I’m fine.”

“Joseph Stapleton!  I will not be denied in this
matter.  Your health is too important to me.  You are too important to me.  You
will see Jane forthwith and that’s all there is to it.”  With that, she hopped
off the desk, and set about putting herself to rights.

Joseph had no choice but to do the same, after
eliminating all evidence of what they’d been doing.  “I’m still upset with you for
putting yourself in danger.  I told you to stay in here and lock the door.”

“I’m upset with you for wrestling with that big oaf
so soon after being shot.”

“It’s my job.”

“And it’s my job to look after you,” she said,
marching to the door and opening it.  “Pray be quicker about leaving.  Or must
I enlist Sergeant Fisk in my cause?”

He had to laugh.  This elegant lady was determined
to look after him.  “No, Evelyn, I shall come with you now,” he said, as he
kissed her lightly on the lips.

She relaxed against him.  “I could not abide it if
something happened to you,” she said quietly.

“Nor I if something happened to you, love.”  

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

With the exception of Vi, who was playing with her
dog Merry Man while she was supposed to be napping in the nursery, everyone was
in Evelyn’s bedchamber at Lynwood House watching as Jane examined Joseph’s
shoulder.  Ned had already called for a bottle of Liam’s best Scot’s whisky,
both for sterilizing the wound and to help with the pain.  Then he took a shot
of it himself.

“I’m not sure why Joseph needed to take his shirt
off.  Couldn’t he have bared just his shoulder?”

Jane smiled as she pulled the last stitch.  “I
needed to check for signs of infection.”

“He looks bloody well healthy enough to me,”
muttered Ned before taking another shot.

“You were very brave today, Joseph,” said Lizzie,
“though we’ve come to expect that of you.  And Evelyn you were remarkably
clever in your choice of diversion.”

“She shouldn’t have been in there!” said Joseph,
still trying to stop reliving the fear he’d been engulfed with when he’d seen
her enter the room.  “Ladies should not put themselves in harm’s way.”

Arthur snorted.  “Try convincing my wife of that.”

“Or my wife,” said Hal.

“It’s not like mine is particularly well-behaved
under any circumstances,” said Marcus.

“I admire Evelyn’s quick thinking,” said Vanessa.  “She
likely saved that young man’s life.  If you ever want a position at the Home
Office, Evelyn, you need only ask.”

“Don’t even think about it,” said Joseph. 

“Might I remind you, Joseph, that I met Ned near the
battlefield in Belgium?” asked Jane.  “If I had not been there, I would not be
here.  Who would tend your shoulder then?”

“I must admit there’s no shortage of courageous,
willful women in this room.  But I cannot like it when any of you put
yourselves in harm’s way.”

“Perhaps you should just put on your shirt and
refuse further treatment,” said Ned. 

“Ned, you’re an idiot,” said Lizzie.  “At least this
settles the question of where Joseph shall be tonight.”

“My home,” said Joseph.

“Absolutely not!” said Lizzie.  “You must stay
here.  If Rosalind were here she’d insist upon it.  After all, you injured your
shoulder when you rescued her.”

“My shoulder is fine.  I simply ripped a few
stitches today.”

“But I am worried about you,” said Evelyn.  “What if
they tear open tonight at your home when there is no one to care for you?”

“Jane has done an excellent job.  They will not tear
again since I have no plans to wrestle any more madmen.  At least for the
nonce.”

“It looks like Ned wouldn’t mind wrestling you,”
said Hal.  “He’s ready to forcibly clothe you.”

“I would prefer it if you stayed here, Joseph” said
Jane.  “I would like to check you for signs of infection in the morning.”

“Then you must stay,” said Evelyn.

“Excellent,” said Lizzie, heading for the door as if
it were all settled.  “I shall tell Rak to ready the adjoining bedchamber. 
That way if you need Evelyn, you only have to call out to her.”

The last thing Joseph wanted was the temptation of
having Evelyn in the next room.  But there was no stopping the Kellingtons when
they wanted something.  And, apparently, they wanted him to be with Evelyn.

*                    *                    *

“Might I interest you in a game of chess?”

Joseph welcomed Marcus’s invitation.  Evelyn was
with the ladies discussing Jane’s and Lizzie’s impending childbirth.  Ned,
Arthur and Hal were building a dollhouse for Vi, under the girl’s strict
supervision.

Joseph watched as Marcus set up the board in Liam’s
study.  “Lizzie seems to be in fine health.  I know you must be concerned about
her confinement.”

“Concern does not begin to convey the depth of my
emotions.  I am, of course, happy to be a father, though I’m also frightened by
the very prospect of being responsible for a child.  I do not want to make any
mistakes, though I know that is a standard no one could achieve.  I’ve already
told Lizzie I do not wish to hold the babe until he or she is unbreakable.  And
when I think of the myriad things that could go wrong with the birth, I am
beside myself with fear.  I could not bear to lose either one of them.  I
cannot imagine how I would ever go on.”

“There is a dark side to love.”

“There is.  One of great pain and suffering.  Yet, I
cannot think to avoid the pain by avoiding love.  If they are necessarily
joined, then at least the one shall be balm for the other.”

Joseph moved his pawn.  “Is there something you wish
to say to me, Marcus?”

Marcus moved his pawn.  “Only that when love
presents itself, a man is wise to take it, regardless of potential difficulties
down the road.”

“But what if the difficulties do not affect him? 
What if the most severe penalty would be directed at the woman he loved?  Not
that it’s love, of course,” he hastily added.

“Of course.  I think it would be appropriate for him
to be concerned for her welfare, but the lady herself should have a say in her
future.”

Joseph made a move that was quickly countered by
Marcus.

“Have you spoken to Evelyn about a future with you?”
asked Marcus.

“There can be no future.”

“If I may be so bold,” said Marcus, as his bishop
entered the play, “it appears there is a physical attraction between the two of
you.” 

Joseph stiffened.  He had not wanted it to be so obvious. 
But how could it not be when he fairly vibrated every time he was near Evelyn?

Marcus continued.  “While I have only just met Lady
Evelyn, she does not strike me as a woman who would give of herself – in any
physical way – to a man she did not care for very much.  If she has done so,
there is every possibility that she has an emotional attachment to him.”  He
captured Joseph’s rook.  “It does not make sense that you would not at least
broach the subject of a future together.”

“I am not good enough for her.”

“We all disagree.”

“You’ve spoken of this as a family?”

“Of course.  You know this family.  You’re part of
this family.  How could you think it wouldn’t be a topic of conversation?  You
might also consider that marriage to you would enable Lady Evelyn to keep her
land and fortune, as well as help her tenants and servants.”

“She could marry anyone and do that.”

“I do not think she wants to marry just anyone.  I
believe she wants to marry you.” 

Joseph could not afford to allow himself to even
consider the possibility.  But he couldn’t imagine a better life than one spent
with her. 

“Check,” said Marcus.

“Are you purposely trying to distract me to win this
game?”

“Yes.  And I see that it’s working admirably.”

Joseph shook his head, then turned his concentration
to the board.

Hope filled his heart, but it was tempered by
practicality.  He could not allow the woman he loved to suffer.  He would not
allow it.  And in the end, that was all that mattered.

*                    *                    *

“What I would like to know, Jane,” said Lizzie, from
the overstuffed chair in the sitting room where she had her feet on an ottoman,
“is why you did not warn me of the swollen ankles and the sudden crying and
everything else I’m going through.  I love this babe more than life itself, but
I thought pregnancy would be a more serene, goddess-like state.”

Jane laughed so hard she snorted.  Daintily. 
“Dearest, there is nothing serene about it.  You will go through the whole
range of emotions, cry at the smallest provocation and, by the time you get to
my stage, stay awake all night while your husband sleeps peacefully at your
side.  It’s enough to make me want to poke Ned in the ribs to wake him, if I
didn’t know he would awaken in a panic, certain the babe was on the way.”

Melanie laughed.  “You’re making me frightened to
ever attempt to have a child.”

Now it was Lizzie’s turn to snort.  “With Hal as a
husband, I imagine you attempt it on a thrice daily basis.”

Mel’s only response was a vivid blush.  She did not,
however, contradict her sister-in-law.

Vanessa smiled shyly.  “I like hearing you talk
about it.  The good and the bad.”

“Have you seen a physician yet, dear?” asked Jane.

Vanessa sat up straighter.  “Why do you ask?”

“You’re expecting, are you not?” asked Jane with a
smile.  “I’ve been wondering for about a week, but didn’t want to pry.”

“I’ll pry!” said Lizzie.  “Is it true?  Are you
going to add to the Kellington family?”

Vanessa could not stop her broad grin.  “I do not
know for certain.  But I have not had my courses for almost two months.”

“Arthur must be excited,” said Mel.

“He does not know.  I didn’t want to say anything
until I knew for certain.” 

But a probable pregnancy was enough cause for
celebration for the Kellington ladies, as they all hugged Vanessa.  Evelyn
hugged her as well, but felt like an intruder at this important family moment.

“I should leave you alone,” she said.

“Please stay,” said Vanessa.  “I never had sisters
until marrying Arthur and very few friends.  I am blessed to finally have
them.”

“None of us had sisters,” said Lizzie.  “Imagine
growing up with my four brothers.  Although I did manage to stand up for
myself.”

“I would have liked to have had sisters,” said
Evelyn.  “Or a brother.”

“It must have been especially difficult after your
father passed away, being as alone as you were,” said Jane.

“It was.  But I made do.”

“Mayhap, you won’t have to go through life alone
anymore,” said Lizzie.  “Perhaps you’ve already found your soulmate.”

Evelyn felt her face grow heated.  Was she so
obvious that everyone knew?

“Joseph is a very good man,” said Vanessa.  “He’s
risked his life for just about everyone in this family.  But I sense a real
sadness about him.  A deep loneliness.  I believe you two would be happy
together, though I know what it would mean socially.”

“I do not care about the
ton
,” said Evelyn. 
“I have spent most of my life out of it.  I do not care to be in it, although I
have enjoyed being with all of you.”

“That would not change,” said Lizzie.  “Personally I
have very little use for society as well, and almost got myself kicked out all
on my own.  It was one of the reasons Marcus proposed.”

“Nonsense,” said Jane.  “He was besotted with you
for years.  He simply used that as an excuse to approach Liam.”

“Liam would be an ally for you,” said Mel.  “If
anyone can restore a person’s place in society it is he.  Please say you’ll
consider marrying Joseph.”

“I would marry him in a heartbeat, if he would but
ask,” said Evelyn, who found the confession tumbling out of her.  “But he does
not love me.   I cannot see him moving to the country and I’m not sure I could
watch him go into danger every day.”

“That part can be difficult,” said Vanessa.  “But
perhaps there is a way for him to have a position that would involve fewer
risks.”

“Perhaps,” said Evelyn.  “But the point is moot
because he has never even broached the subject of marriage with me.”

“Are you telling me Joseph has never kissed you?”
asked Lizzie.

“Lizzie,” said Jane.  “That is a very forward
question.”

“It is,” agreed Lizzie.  “So, has he?”

“Yes,” said Evelyn, unable to keep anything from her
friends.  “And…more.”

“More is a very good sign,” said Lizzie.  “I am
confident he would not have done such a thing if his intentions were not
honorable.”

“I cannot imagine Joseph being anything but
honorable,” added Mel.

“Then why won’t he tell me what his intentions are?”
asked Evelyn.  “He knows I must marry to save the tenants.  The least he could
do is tell me he’d be open to such a possibility.”

“Men can be most obtuse about such things,” said
Jane.  “I believe you must bring it up.  And since he will be staying in the
adjoining room, you shall have every opportunity to bring him up to snuff.”

“Indeed,” said Lizzie.  “I shall return early
tomorrow in hopes of hearing an announcement.”

Evelyn looked at the ladies around her.  She could
not remember a time when she’d been so welcomed into a group.  They would not
desert her, she was certain of it.  Could it be possible that she might gain a
husband and friends such as these?  Suddenly, her life seemed so much fuller.

Half an hour later, the ladies walked Lizzie to the
door, where her husband waited.  “Where is Joseph?” Lizzie asked.  “I wanted to
say good-bye.”