Authors: Patricia Watters
"I
know," Andrea said. "I feel it too. The problem is, we're never
taught what to do when tragedy hits. No one said to us,
'Here's the plan for getting back to life now'
. They tell us time
heals, and maybe one day we'll be able to think of Scott without feeling a hole
in our hearts, or maybe we'll never heal completely, but we can get past this
and go on, and I think we should start by reading whatever the girls wrote to
him. That's why I stopped in. To sit with you and read their letters." She
offered the unopened envelope to Jerry. He took it and looked at it.
"Honey,"
Andrea said, "I want to celebrate Scott's life tonight, not mourn his
death. And I want us to stop kicking ourselves and each other for a past that
can't be changed."
Jerry sighed.
"I suppose you're right." He pulled his knife from his pocket,
flipped opened a blade and slipped it into the envelope flap, slicing slowly,
as if it were something precious. Closing his knife, he removed three letters,
one from each of the girls, and started reading the one on top, hand-written by
Megan, that began...
Dear Scott, Today you would have been
eighteen, and I'm sure you would have been a lady killer. You had that little
glint in your eye that you got from Dad, and he's a lady killer, at least with
Mom. But while you were growing up, you were so precious to us, with your
craziness, and
your
teasing, and yes, your silly
thirteen-year-old boy jokes, usually pretty gross. I still think of you as
thirteen, little brother, because that's the age you were when I left home to
marry John. I wish I had been around more during your teenage years. I know you
sometimes gave Mom and Dad hell, maybe more than we knew, since we'd all left
home by the time you were going through the transition from boy to man. But the
one thing we all know. You had a good heart. I remember the night you brought
the old wet dog home, more dead than alive. Dad wanted to put him out of his
misery but you put up such a fuss, Dad gave in and let you nurse the poor
thing. We had Bandit for three more years after that. You and Bandit were
kindred spirits, I'm sure. I decided that night that you'd someday be a doctor.
Who knows? Maybe you would have. So here's to you, little brother. I love you.
Your annoying sister, Megan
.
"He did
have a good heart," Andrea said. "I'd almost forgotten." She
looked at Jerry. "Do you remember the incident with the crabs?"
Jerry
snickered. "Yeah, I remember. I thought we'd be having crabs for dinner
but by the time you were ready to dump them into the crab boil, they all had
names."
"Elmer,"
Andrea said, smiling in memory. "Scott named one of the crabs Elmer. He
was the big one with only one claw."
Jerry chuckled.
"The first one to scurry into the water when I turned them out." He
reached for the second letter, the one from Bailey, and began reading...
Dear Scott, I imagine you in Heaven putting
on a magic show that even has God chuckling. You were so talented, not so much
with your magic tricks, which were so incredibly obvious it had us in stitches,
but because of your knack for holding people's attention, whether it was
pulling a rubber chicken out of a top hat, or waving your magic wand and having
Bandit roll over dead and give us a dog smile. Like Megan, I also missed your
teenage years, but now you're eighteen, a man angel, and I imagine you up there
flirting with the angel chicks. I saw you doing that a time or two, when I was
home visiting. But little did I know then that the few short years we had with
you would come to be more valuable than I could have ever anticipated. You were
my first love. Of course I loved Mom and Dad and Megan and Stefanie, but when
Mom and Dad brought you home from the hospital, you were so tiny and sweet, and
you were my little brother. I've never regretted a day of it, even when you
were a total pain in the butt. Keep those sexy little angels in heaven
blushing, Bro. We love you. Bailey.
"Bailey
always was the one to stick up for him when he was in trouble," Jerry
said, staring at the letter. "And those magic shows," he laughed
lightly. "I don't know how Scott got Bandit to smile. Funny, I didn't
realize how much patience he had, at least he had with an ugly old dog."
"You
thought Bandit was ugly?" Andrea asked, remembering Scott's old dog with
nothing but affection.
"Sweetheart,
he was the ugliest damn dog on the face of the earth," Jerry said, his
endearment curling around Andrea's heart like a warm glove. "His face had
wrinkles and jowls, his front legs were so bowed he looked like he'd been
riding the range, and his paws were so big, only God knows what he descended
from. But Scott loved that old dog, wrinkles, flaws and all. Now that I think
about it, Scott never was very hung up on looks. That little girl he liked in
middle school, the chubby one with the crooked teeth... he took on three boys
when they teased her. Millie, I think her name was. He used to call her a lot.
I wonder what ever happened to her?" he said, musingly.
"Last I
heard she started dating one of those boys," Andrea said. "I guess
Scott made him see beyond the surface."
Jerry smiled in
memory. "Seems that way," he mused. "I'd forgotten that about
him. In fact, I don't remember him ever dating a good-looking girl. But whoever
it was at the time, he made her feel good about
herself
."
He reached for Stefanie's letter, and read...
Dear Scott, First I want to apologize for
those times I sulked and threw a tissyfit because you took the spotlight off
me. I was Mom and Dad's baby until you came along, and you burst my baby
bubble. But you were also my playmate for many years. Sorry little brother,
that I had you playing with Barbies, but thankfully, Dad set things straight.
You were always such a good sport though, letting me choose the games and set
the rules. But when I let you have your way, every once in a while, you always
came up with unique things to do. Making giant wings out of Mom's sheets and
the curtain rods in the basement wasn't one of them though. I hit the ground
pretty hard when I jumped off the garage. But the kangaroo shoes weren't half
bad, even though you refused to tell me where you stole... er... got the
springs for them. When I look back now, I'm certain your call in life would
have been to pick up where Leonardo de Vinci left off. Keep things active up
there in Heaven. I'm sure they love you up there as much as we do down here.
I'm smiling now, little brother. You bring back happy memories. Love, Stefanie
.
Andrea slipped
her arm into the crook of Jerry's elbow. "Honey," she said,
"It's time we lay Scott to rest. From now on I want to remember only the
good times we had with him. And this has to go." She slipped the photo of
Scott's car out of the plastic sleeve, lifted a book of cruise-line matches
from an ashtray, and walked into the bathroom. Striking a match, she held it to
the picture and watched the tongues of the fire lick at the photo, curling the
edges,
then
she dropped the burning picture into the
basin. While she watched the image of Scott's car bubble and fade, Jerry came
up behind her and kissed the side of her neck. She turned in his arms and
kissed him, and he kissed her back, a long, slow kiss filled with tenderness
and love. Then he pulled her closer to him, and rested his head against hers
and held her, and she knew they had finally laid Scott to rest. But she also
knew there was still a bridge between them that needed mending.
Jerry picked up
on that when he said, "So, where do we go from here?"
"Home,"
Andrea replied. "When we set out on this little adventure I was feeling
unlovable and unappreciated and I decided I'd have a shipboard romance. The
problem was, you're the only man I want because you're not just the love of my
life, you are my life. I still haven't given up the idea of taking a lover, but
you're the only lover I want. Is that asking too much?"
Jerry looked at
her, and said, with a glint in his eye that told her a fun-filled romp in bed
was just ahead, "I tell you what, baby. I'll be your lover if you'll agree
to be my sugar baby, which is a long shot because what would a good looking
chick like you want with an old fart like me?"
Andrea gave him
a sultry smile. "You might have been an old fart when we started out on
this trip, but I can tell you right now, you're one hot hunk." Releasing
the buttons on his shirt, she placed a kiss on the hollow of his throat, and
said, "But we need to talk about this waxed chest thing. I want my snuggly
huggy bear back."
Jerry
laughed." Actually I was thinking about waxing something else..."
"What?!"
"Just
kidding..."
***
All three girls
were there to welcome Andrea and Jerry as they walked hand-in-hand down the
gangway at Charleston Harbor. Jerry released Andrea's hand long enough to hug
each of his daughters, then took Andrea's hand again, and they walked with the
girls to the van they had waiting. "So how was the cruise," Bailey
asked, looking down at their clasped hands. "Romantically, passionately,
adoringly, kissy-kissy-face?" she kidded.
"It was
all of the above, and more," Jerry said, giving Andrea's hand a little
squeeze.
Andrea looked
at him, and that little glint of fire was in his eyes again, reminding her that
they had a long-overdue date in their own bed tonight, and a longer one in the
big, double-wide shower afterwards. A little tremor of anticipation coursed
through her.
Stefanie
laughed. "Well we hope a few sparks were lit, and we're not just talking
candles on the table during your anniversary dinner."
Jerry winked at
Andrea. "There were sparks," he said, smiling at her.
"Yes,"
Andrea agreed, returning his smile. "Most definitely sparks."
"So then,
what was the absolute highlight of the cruise?" Megan asked. "Maybe
the marching flamingoes?"
Jerry laughed.
"Flamingoes, definitely a highlight."
"And
snorkeling?" Megan asked. "Did you go snorkeling?"
"Yep,"
Jerry said. "And afterwards, your mom and I stretched out on the beach and
let the surf roll over us."
"How
sweet," Bailey said to her dad. "I can see you teasing Mom the way
you do."
"Yeah,
well, I did a little of that too," Jerry said, eyeing Andrea, his wry
smile reminding her how it had been their second to last night of the cruise,
when the other passengers went ashore for a Bahamian luau, and they stole away
from the group and wandered down the beach to an isolated spot where they had
another fiery coming together. But this time, it had been preceded by
frolicking, and splashing, and tussling together, and laughing and enjoying the
abandon that was once again part of their lovemaking, before settling on the
beach to make passionate love under a silvery moon, to the rhythmic undulations
of the warm sea lapping against them...
"But those
are just little incidents," Megan insisted. "Was there one thing that
stood out above all else?" she asked. "One thing that made the whole
trip worthwhile?"
"Yes,"
Jerry said, "and I think your mom will agree with me when I say it was
when we renewed our wedding vows in front of the captain and all the passengers
last night. Your mother bought a gown for the occasion, and she was even more
beautiful than the day I married her, and afterwards we danced the night
away." He released Andrea's hand and curved his arm around her waist,
giving her a little kiss on the temple.
"How
romantic," Megan said, dreamily.
Andrea cuddled
against him, and as she did, a sense of deep satisfaction settled over her, and
when he looked down at her and smiled, she knew their love would endure, no
matter what rough roads might lay ahead for them.
They arrived
home in a flurry of excitement, grandchildren rushing up to greet Nana and
Papa, husbands hugging wives, son-in-laws giving Andrea a hug and shaking
Jerry's hand. After the homecoming, Jerry carried their bags up to the master
suite and heaved Andrea's largest bag on the bed, then excused himself to take
Sammie for a ride on his shoulders.
Andrea had just
opened the bag to get the gifts for the girls and grandkids, when she decided
to take a few minutes to make a slight change in her memoirs.
Opening her
laptop, she pulled up the file and scrolled to where she'd left off before all
hell broke loose when the girls announced that she and Jerry would be going on
an anniversary cruise, and made one slight adjustment...
...I was three hundred miles from home,
completely on my own to arrange my belongings, make up my bed, run my life—at
least without the daily micromanaging of my parents (i.e. my father), and make
my own decisions. Little did I know, my first day at college, that I was about
to make the biggest mistake of my life...
She was about
to change
biggest mistake in my life
to
best decision in my life
when she
heard Bailey exclaim, "Oh, my gosh!"
Andrea rushed
down to find Bailey holding up the octopus briefs, staring at them in
disbelief. She looked at Andrea, eyes anxious, and said, "Are these...
Dads?"
"Oh for
heaven's sake no!" Andrea said, mortified that she'd left the briefs in
plain view. A hot flush rushed up her face as the scene of Jerry gyrating in
them filled her mind's eye. From the way he'd been bumping and grinding he'd
looked like the thing was stuck to him and he was trying to thrust it off.
She'd laughed and pointed and told him those tentacles were clutching something
that belonged to her alone, and she wanted the thing off him immediately. Their
lovemaking that night eclipsed anything she'd ever experienced with Jerry
before...
"Mom? Are
you blushing?"
"
It's
menopause," Andrea said quickly. "I get hot
flashes at odd times." She took the briefs from Bailey and tossed them
into a bag of clothes ready for the thrift shop.