Authors: Patricia Watters
Jerry let out a
snort of derision and said nothing. But Andrea knew if he had responded
,
it would have been something hurtful, like telling her to
find a new stud because he was through servicing her, as if she were the only
one who liked what they once had. But what they had was over, and she felt
humiliated that she'd all but begged Jerry to make love to her again, and he'd
silently turned her down. So she made a silent vow. She would
never
bring up the subject of having sex
with Jerry again...
When they
stepped out of the taxi onto the docks, a warm, gentle breeze from the Atlantic
swirled around them, bringing with it the scent of salt sea air mingled with
fresh fish from the bins of the fishing vessels tied to the wharf. Among the
vendors set up on the docks, a rake 'n' scrap band was making a terrible
musical racket, presumably to welcome the cruise ship. A short distance beyond
the band, passengers who Andrea recognized from the ship had gathered at a
thatched-roof tiki bar, the Danforths among them.
Lillian Danforth
caught sight of them and motioned for them to come over. When they did, Lillian
said, with enthusiasm, "It's so good to see you. When the steward went
around from room to room asking about the two of you, we wondered if something
happened. And when neither of you showed up for dinner, we were very concerned.
But then they announced over the loud speakers that you had food poisoning and
would be rejoining us later, we were very relieved."
"Moral to
the story," Andrea said, "don't eat conch chowder or drink unbottled
water at dingy little greasy-spoon hideaway."
Lillian
laughed. "Well
it's
fortunate Jerry was with
you," she said.
Andrea realized
the Danforths had no idea who she'd really been with that
evening,
and that they hadn't seen her leave the ship in her outrageous Armani outfit.
She was also certain the news of Alessandro's death hadn't reached the island
papers or the cruise ship. But in another day or two it would and it would be a
hot topic of conversation aboard.
"Yes,
Jerry was a big help," she said. "I'm not sure how I would have
gotten to the medical clinic without him." She looked at Jerry, who said
nothing.
Lillian didn't
seem to read anything into Jerry's lack of response, continuing by saying,
"I mentioned the first night at dinner that there wasn't a better place to
get to know each other than on a cruise, and now the two of you have had two
days alone on a tropical island to get better acquainted." When neither
Andrea nor Jerry replied, Lillian said, while looking from one to the other,
"I assume you're better acquainted than when you left. At least you have
matching batik outfits, which I find kind of... sweet."
Andrea looked
down at her batik shirt and slacks, then at Jerry's, which were not identical,
but a close match, and said, by way of explanation, "Jerry bought the
outfits when I was in the medical clinic and the ship sailed off with our
clothes. All there was on the island was batik from the batik factory. Even our
swim suits are batik."
Lillian looked
at Jerry, then at Andrea. A puzzled expression crossed her face as she said to
her, "You know, it just occurred to me, when the steward asked about you,
he asked about Andrea Porter. Are you and Jerry somehow... related?"
Andrea looked
at Jerry, who shrugged indifferently, as if he didn't care at this point what
she said, and replied, "Well, as a matter of fact we're... married."
Lillian said
nothing, just stared, speechless.
"It's a
long and very complicated story," Andrea offered, "but to sum it up,
Jerry and I were planning to get a divorce, but before we had a chance to tell
our three daughters, they surprised us with a cruise for our twenty-fifth
wedding anniversary, so here we are." She felt an odd sense of relief in
finally coming clean with the truth.
"I
see," Lillian said. "That explains a lot. Maybe your girls gave you
the cruise to get you two back together."
"Oh
no," Andrea replied. "They know nothing about what's going on with
us. It will be a complete surprise for them. Well, maybe more of a shock. They
were already married and gone when things began to... unravel."
...when all the focus turned to Scott...And
today would have been his eighteenth birthday and no one cares...
She caught
Jerry staring at her, a grim look on his face, and knew he was thinking the
same thing. Still, nothing was acknowledged...
She looked
around and realized Charlie Danforth and his father, Edward, had been standing
there and also knew of the marital troubles of Mr. and Mrs. Jerry Porter, not
something she had intended on passing around the ship. Lillian gave Andrea's
arm a little empathetic squeeze, looked beyond her, and said, "Well, here
comes our guide, so now we can put everything else aside and go see the little
monastery Monsignor Hawkes built."
Wanting to go
to the ship and close herself in Val's stateroom for the duration of the
cruise, and avoid all further questions, Andrea said, "No, I don't think
we'll be going."
"Of course
you will." Lillian said. "Both of you." She looked at Jerry, who
nodded as if he really didn't care at this point, then at Andrea, who shrugged
in reluctant agreement, deciding it was easier to give in than to explain why
not...
Their tour
guide from the ship approached and instructed the group to get into the three
vans which would take them to the monastery, and after a very bumpy ride on an
uneven road, they arrived at their destination. The group hiked up a path to
where the small medieval monastery sat on a cliff's edge, two-hundred feet
above the ocean. While their tour guide explained about how Monsignor Jerome Hawkes
hand-carved the steps to the monastery out of solid rock, and set all the
stones of the building in place by hand, Andrea looked to where Jerry stood
close to the edge of the cliff, gazing out across the ocean. The look on his
face was distant, and very sad, and she knew his thoughts were on Scott, just
as her thoughts were. Her parents were right. They needed to put aside the
blame game, if only for today, even though she sensed if she attempted to do
so, it would result in another futile foray into pointing fingers at each
other.
Casting aside
that idea, she walked up to Jerry and stood next to him and gazed at the vast
pink and white sand beaches and an endless turquoise sea lapping against the
shore. Jerry didn't seem to mind that she was standing with him, or if he did,
he said nothing.
Bringing up a
subject she hoped would not press any hot buttons, she said, "All the time
I was growing up, I knew nothing about what my father had done in Vietnam. I
always figured my grandfather pulled strings to make sure my father wasn't in harm’s
way while he was there. Funny that my father never talked about it."
"Yeah,
there are some things you just don't want to talk about," Jerry said, and
they both knew exactly what he meant. And neither spoke. Just stood looking off
in the distance, watching the water lapping on the shore. Restless. Relentless.
Inexorable...
When Jerry
started to turn and walk away, Andrea grabbed his arm and said, "Jerry, we
can't keep avoiding it."
Jerry shrugged
from her grip. "Yeah, well, we're missing the tour." He headed back
to join the others, and Andrea followed silently at his side.
One of the
things Andrea could not fail to notice about the Danforths, from the moment
they first met them, was the strong connection between the couple. Little
things, like what Andrea was seeing now as they walked toward them—Lillian
looking at Charlie and Charlie beaming. Charlie whispering something in
Lillian's ear and she socking him playfully on the arm. And at the dining
table, Lillian laughed at Charlie's every joke, even when it was inane. They
radiated a joy in being married to each other, something she and Jerry once
had, and somehow managed to lose along the way to where they were now.
While the tour
guide was explaining that Monsignor Hawkes had once been a famous architect,
who came to Cat Island to seek solitude and live as the poorest of the poor,
Edward Danforth stepped up to walk beside Andrea, who was walking with Jerry,
and said, "My wife and I were married fifty-seven years. I learned a lot
during that time."
Andrea wasn't
sure she wanted to hear this, and she knew Jerry didn't, but the old man didn't
come across as meddling, so she looked at him, and said, "Fifty-seven
years is a long time to be with the same person." She didn't mean to imply
it the way it sounded, and knew Jerry would take it as a barb—twenty-five years
was too long to be with the same man. She could almost hear his snide comeback.
Instead, Jerry surprised her by saying, "I imagine when you're with the
right woman,
it's
not long enough."
Meaning that when you're with the wrong
woman it's too damn long
... Andrea had to bite her tongue to keep from
saying.
"Yes,"
Edward said, wistfully. "Ethel and I talked about taking a cruise to the
Bahamas for our sixtieth wedding anniversary, but we found out she had cancer,
and she was gone soon after that. She was quite a woman," he said. His
lips curved in a little pleasant memory. "So Lillian and Charlie decided
we should take this trip for Ethel. Yesterday would have been our sixtieth
anniversary. But we had fifty-seven good years."
"I guess
that can happen when it's right," Andrea said.
Edward glanced
at Andrea. "No," he corrected. "It happens when you negotiate.
This, I learned over the years. When you marry, you enter into negotiations to
love and honor till death do you part, but the negotiations never stop at the altar.
It's not like cutting a deal and you're done. Families grow. Needs change.
Unexpected things happen, and you have to change to meet those needs, which
means renegotiating. When the kids are babies, family needs are different than
when they're school kids. And while the kids are growing up, you use all the
skills you've learned so far to meet the new changes and needs."
Andrea thought
about that. Were she and Jerry stuck in a rut? When had they ever negotiated
about anything in the past few years? It was either her way, or Jerry's way. No
in between. They were both always right when dealing with Scott, no matter how
wrong they were. She glanced at Jerry, who eyed her soberly for a moment before
looking away...
Edward walked
silently with them for a while before peering around Andrea at Jerry, and
saying, "We were well into our married years when I learned not to take
for granted that I knew how my wife felt." He gave a little chuckle.
"In our earlier years, I assumed when Ethel was quiet, she was upset or
angry. Then we'd go to our own corners of the ring and sulk. Which solved
nothing. We'd probably been married fifteen years before I learned that when
she stopped talking, I needed to ask, have I done something to make you feel
bad? It might take a little coaxing after that, but then we'd talk, and the air
cleared, and we were back to being in love again. Worked every time."
A wise old man,
Andrea decided. Wise, but not meddling. She glanced at Jerry, who looked a
little uncertain with all of this, but he didn't walk away as was his usual
pattern when he didn't like what he was hearing...
"Stress is
wearing," Edward continued. "It leaves you alternating between being
depressed and being quick to anger, until you feel on the verge of desperation
and decide to call it quits. Instead of bonding during difficult times, you
snap at each other or stop talking all together. And that's when it's time to
figure out what you need to do to break the marital bad spell and negotiate a
solution. Ethel and I were constantly negotiating, not like ongoing business
deals, just little common courtesies... whose job it was to cook or clean the
house a particular day after the kids were grown and gone and we'd both
retired."
No problem,
Andrea realized. Jerry always provided her with a cook and a daily housemaid.
And now that the girls were gone, and it was just the two of them, Jerry was
still working, and she still had the maid, just like Jerry promised to provide
the day they married.
A small tremor
of guilt rippled through her.
"You take
care of your kids and your spouse, but you still have to take care of
yourself," Edward said to both of them. "When you're involved with
something that brings you joy, you're energized. You may have fewer hours to
spend with your spouse, but the hours you have together will be quality hours.
But you can't just state your plan for yourself without thought of how it will
impact your spouse. You need to negotiate. You got into this marriage
together,
you need to resolve things together..."
Jerry was
energized when he'd successfully cleaned up an oil spill, Andrea realized. But
when he'd come home after several days of mopping up a mess, she was usually
quick to remind him how long he'd been gone while she'd been running the house,
and carting kids to lessons, and breaking up fights...
...I learned that you married a good man.
Don't be too quick to let him go...
Carter Ellison
III might also be a wise man. She'd think on that a bit...
"But after
the kids are gone," Edward continued, "you have to work at getting to
know each other again. Before then, the focus was always on the kids. Now it's
on you. Embrace this time in your lives. Give yourselves credit for what you've
accomplished together. Not what I did or what you did, but what we did. And be
proud of each other as a team."
Edward Danforth
wandered off to rejoin his family then, leaving Andrea and Jerry standing on
the path alone, and staring at one of the hand-carved Stations of the Cross
that neither of them really saw.