Never Me (36 page)

“Not much, really. Just bought us some groceries and cleaned up a little. I was thinking about going down to Bubba’s and watching the baseball game tonight. Do you want to go with me?”

“Sure, I haven’t had a Bubba burger in years. Let me shower and get all this sand off me. I’ll be ready to go in about an hour.”

After showering, I dry my long dark hair, deciding to just let it hang loose down my back in natural soft waves. I apply a little bit of makeup and since it’s the middle of June and so damn hot, I pick out a pair of shorts and my favorite tank top.

Pulling into the parking lot of Bubba’s, I check out the overflowing lot. “Shit. I forgot how packed this place gets.”

“Yeah, this place is always hopping, but you know Bubba’s going to love seeing you. He always had a soft spot for you, Shayne. I remember back in the day having to tell to him back off one night, that you were way too young for him. As a matter of fact, I remember telling half this fucking town to stay the hell away from you.”

“Oh, I remember. If anyone as much as looked at me you were all up their ass. ‘Stay away from Shayne, you asshole.’ ‘Don’t look at Shayne, you asshole.’ ‘What the fuck are you looking at, you asshole.’ I swear, Adam, asshole was your favorite word.”

“It still is asshole. Now get your ass out of my truck and into the damn bar.”

“You’re an asshole, Adam," I say, bursting into laughter. Adam joins and we both exit the car, laughing hard as we walk into Bubba’s. I look around, trying to find anyone I recognize from school. Someone scoops me up from behind and I let out a little screech of excitement. I would know those arms anywhere.

“Shayne Andrews, let me take a good look at you, girl,” Bubba says. I turn around and look at my dear old friend. He lets out a long whistle.

“Damn, girl, I thought you were hot at nineteen. At twenty-six, you’re fucking gorgeous. Come here and give me a proper welcome.”

“Bubba, you look amazing. How are you?”

“Great, girl. I got married two years ago. Jen and I have a daughter, she’s one. Come on over to the bar, I’ll introduce you to my girl and get you both a beer. You still drinking Corona?”

“Hell, yeah. Nothing but that for me.”

Bubba escorts me to the bar and introduces me to his wife, Jen.
My God
, she's beautiful. Jen and I start chatting, getting to know one another. When she goes down to the other end of the bar, I nudge Adam and give him a kiss on the cheek.

“What was that for, cuz?”

“Thank you, Adam. This is what I needed today. When I was at the beach earlier, my mind kept drifting to Luke and all the memories. I just…needed this, so thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Shayne. I know how hard all of this is for you, and I know better than anyone that what happened destroyed you. But I hope that by you being back here, you can finally let go and move forward; get that happiness that we both know you deserve. Now, enough talking about that asshole." Adam and I both burst out laughing at his use of his favorite word,
again.

Three Coronas later, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. As I’m walking out of the bathroom digging through my purse and, of course, not paying attention to where I’m going, I slam into someone and fall flat on my butt. A big hand reaches down to help me up and a voice that is so deep, yet so familiar, says, “Give me your hand.”

I just stare at the hand. After what seems like forever, but is probably no more than a few seconds, I shake my head back and forth. That hand…
oh God
. That hand is going to lead me to the face of the one person I prayed I would never have to see again.

I can’t move, can’t think, I just stare at that hand.

That beautiful fucking hand. His deep voice calls out to me again, but this time, it’s just a whisper at the base of my ear.

“Shayne, please look at me and give me your hand.”

Automatically, I extend it to him and let him pull me up, but I can’t find it in me to lift my head and look at him. With my head down and my eyes closed, I suddenly feel that beautiful hand underneath my chin. Slowly, he lifts my face and says, “Shayne, please look at me. I need you to look at me, my
tesoro bella
.”

Instantly, my eyes snap open. It’s as if he willed them open with the words of endearment that he used to call me every day. I squeeze them shut again.

“Beautiful treasure.”

I want to scream. I want to slap him across his handsome motherfucking face, but I don’t. Instead, I open my eyes and look up into the green orbs of Luciano Schavone. Luke.

The man who nearly destroyed me when he broke my heart as he ripped it clean out of my chest.

I instantly take a step back. I need to be away from him.

Dear God
.

I fight the urge to ask him all the questions going through my mind.
Years
of questions.

What’s he doing here? Why did he leave? Where has he been?

My mind is a jumbled mess of queries, and my body is reacting with the same uncertainty of emotions. I’m paralyzed. My heartbeat is intensifying so swiftly it feels like I’m going to combust at any moment. I have to get out of here. That’s the only thing that I can think. I need to be away from him.

We both just stand there, staring at each other for the longest time. I fidget, feeling like every person in this bar is looking at us and wondering what the hell is going on.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Adam approaching. By the fuming look on his face and his rigid actions I can tell that he knows it’s Luke.

“Shayne, are you all right?” Adam asks.

I’m so flabbergasted and overwhelmed that the words lodge in my throat. I think I may be in shock. Adam, the sweet, caring man that he is, steps in between us and brings his warm hands up to cup my cheeks.

“Come on, Shayne. Let’s get you home.”

He links his arm through mine and while I know I’m walking, it feels like I’m floating. Like the world is happening around me and I become ethereal. I can hear people talking, but I have no clue what they’re saying…or if they’re speaking to me. Adam gets me into his truck and it’s in that moment that I burst into tears.

I don’t remember returning home or how I even got into my bed. But I do know that last night was not a dream. It was more like a nightmare.

I roll over and stare out the window. The sky is the most beautiful of blues and the breeze coming through the open glass pane is uplifting. Unfortunately, my heart feels so heavy and my mind immediately goes back to last night.

What in the hell is he doing here?

It’s been seven years. I haven’t seen or heard from him and the one time I need to come home, he’s here. How long has he been here? Did Adam know he was here?

I mentally slap myself again. I’m over him. He may have broken me once, but now I’m healed. I’m not the same naïve girl that I was when he left me all those years ago. Yes, I was shocked to see him, but if he thinks he can look at me and call me ‘my beautiful treasure’, he has another thing coming.

I stretch and get out of bed to get myself ready.

After dressing, I head downstairs to go for a run. I slept in a little longer this morning than normal and Adam is probably already waiting for me. We used to run together all the time when we were growing up. I love to run, love how I feel after I’ve got my heart pumping hard and the blood rushing through my veins. After last night, I really need it to get rid of the stress. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, Adam’s sitting on the couch with his running gear on, ready to go.

“Good morning. Sorry about sleeping in. How long have you been waiting?”

“Only about an hour. It’s all good.” He walks over to give me a hug. “Are you okay?”

I respond the best way I know how. “Not really, but I will be.”

“Do you want to talk about it? You scared the shit out of me last night when we got in the truck.”

“I’m so sorry, Adam. To be honest, I don’t even remember getting into the truck. I mean, shit, seeing Luke like that after seven years just doesn’t make any sense to me at all. I’m still a little shocked, I think. I mean…what is he doing here? And, how coincidental is it that he would be right there as I was coming out of the bathroom? Did you know he was in town?”

Adam’s eyes quickly glance from me to the wall and then back again. “Yeah, Shayne, I did. But hear me out before you go all bat-shit crazy, okay?” Adam leads me to the red leather couch and sits us both down. He takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his dirty blonde hair. I have this feeling that I’m not going to like what my cousin is about to tell me.

Adam turns and looks at me with an expression on his face that I’ve never seen before. It’s a look of regret and shame. I can see by the way that he’s searching my face that he’s trying to find a way to tell me whatever it is he needs to say.

“Adam, it’s okay. I’m okay. You want to tell me what’s going on?”

“Luke’s been back here for years.”

“What do you mean he’s been back here for years? Are you kidding me?”

“No, I’m not kidding you, he moved back two years ago. He stopped by to see mom and me… trust me, we were just as shocked to see him at the door as you were last night.”

“Where did he go?” I ask.

“That’s his story to tell, not mine.”

"That’s bullshit and you know it! I don’t want to talk to that man or see him ever again. I mean it, Adam. Don’t you dare have him over here until I’m gone, do you understand me?” I seethe. I’m angry. More so, hurt. Why even bring the subject up if he’s not willing to give me the answers I’ve been searching years for? I take a deep breath. “If that’s all you’re going to give me after everything I’ve been through, the least you can do is keep him away from me. You of all people know why he has to stay away. You didn’t tell him where I live, did you? Promise me you didn’t tell him, Adam. He can’t know. He can’t find out, he just… can’t.” I sob, feeling completely overwhelmed and lost. How did this happen? What if he finds out?

Adam walks over and kneels in front of me. “I didn’t tell him where you live and he doesn’t know,” he says softly. “We’ve kept you hidden from him and his family and I’ll continue to protect you, but I really think you need to listen to him. Believe me, Shayne, he’ll come here. He’s never stopped loving you and I know you still love him.”

“No,” I repeat wildly. “I don’t want anything to do with him. I mean it. If either one of you thinks that he can just waltz back into my life, then the two of you are seriously more fucked up than I am. We aren’t just talking about me here, Adam. I need to protect my daughter from him. I will not have my baby girl get hurt by a man who walks away from people he claims to love.”

I stand and start pacing the floor. Adam is just sitting there, watching me like I’m some crazy madwoman. I stop and look at him. There is only one thing I can get to come out of my mouth. “Adam, don’t let him break me again,” I plead. “I don’t think I can take it for a second time. I really don’t. I know that if I talk to him or see him again, it’s going to destroy me. I’m begging you, tell Luke to stay away from me. I can finish up here and be gone in a week.” I look at him imploringly as I run my hand through my hair. “Give me my week, please?”

“I’ll talk to him, that’s the best I can give you. But he knows you’re here and I know he isn’t going to give up that easily. Prepare yourself for Luke to find you.”

About The Author

Kathy is married to her wonderful husband Tony. They have two sons, Aaron and Shane. She is a hairstylist by day. Kathy has always been a reader and a year ago she started the
Panty Dropping Book Blog
. With the love and support of her family and her best friend Barri, she decided to take the plunge to write her first novel and so she did!

Kathy would love to hear from you! She can be reached at
[email protected]

Please also check her out on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Kathy-Coopmans/1436758106573941

Fate’s Mistake

By Brandace Morrow

Book Two in the
Los Rancheros Series

Available August 20
th
, 2014

Chapter 1

I’m not dead today. I made it through the night. Another sunrise, another goodbye kiss. While stepping on the treadmill, I pray I get to run tomorrow too. My ribs ache as I pick up speed. I breathe in through my nose and slowly exhale through my mouth. My kidneys feel like giant boulders with each hurtful movement. For two hours I run, and not only because I have to. I run because this is the only time I am allowed out of my prison.

My eyes stare, unseeing, out of the floor to ceiling window overlooking the city below. The city goes about its business five stories down, but I don't see sky, glass, metal or traffic. I see the images conjured up by the ear buds blasting music through my head; images of my mom as I was growing up, teaching me everything she loved; images of my father imparting sage advice. I think about how things used to be, and it’s the only time I allow myself to go to those memories. If I didn't lock them away, I'd lose my mind.

Shrill beeping goes off in my ears, startling me so much I trip as my sneaker drags over the conveyer belt of the treadmill. I snag the arm rails desperately and move my feet quickly to the sides. I breathe deeply and push the big red stop button on the machine, then set up a five minute cool-down walk. When the speed is set, I force my hands to let go of the bars and move naturally at my sides. I don't want to think about where I have to go in five minutes, or where I'll be in five hours, five days.

My skin breaks out in a new kind of sweat; one different from what’s currently coating my skin. This one is cold and stinks of fear. I stare straight ahead to the building of windows across the street and try to wipe this perspiration away. But it keeps secreting itself from my pores, stinging my eyes, making them water. My skin feels overheated, yet chills break out over my body. My breathing gets shallower, and I can feel my heart picking up speed, rather than slowing.