Never Me (35 page)

To save others from a life like I had, well, that means more to me than anything. The shelter seems to be doing well from the updates I get from the girls. Do I make money at the shelter? Yes, only because Shawna said she wouldn’t accept it otherwise. Honestly, I make enough from there that I could quit my lousy job at the hospital, but I needed the mundane job to keep myself sane. Working from home would make me go crazy. I want to keep loving my home. So getting out to go to work allowed me to appreciate it at home, even if it was a demeaning job, as Felicia called it.

My job wasn't as bad as it seemed. Well, when Felicia wasn't working it wasn't bad. No one bothered me and I made money. You just can't complain. Was I rich with all my endeavors? No, but I was comfortable. I'd take comfortable over drowning any day of the week.

Once I was back in my apartment, I breathed a sigh of relief that everything was the way I'd left it. All these people that I've seen or watched on television leave their keys by the door. Not me, mine are in my room. If I left them by the door and a robber came in, they'd have access to all things under lock and key. Why not just leave them outside of my door. Then again, many people haven't seen the things I have either.

Headed straight for my bath, ran it, added my relaxing bubbles and walked out of the room while it filled. Preheating my oven, I grabbed some chicken, rubbed it with a spicy blend I made, then drizzled a bit of Extra Virgin Olive Oil over the top and popped it into the oven. Diced up some potatoes added them to water with garlic and put them on the stove to start to boil.

By that time, my tub is full enough to enjoy. I had just reached for my phone when it started ringing. Checking the number, I answered it.

“I was just getting ready to call you.”

“Great minds and all that shit,” Shawna laughed.

“Where are you at?” I asked, the noise in the background almost drowning her out.

“The café, one sec and I’ll step outside.”

The sound faded to a dull roar in the background.

“Much better,” I commented. “Okay, what’s up?”

“You know how we do the prelims for the paperwork before we send off to you?”

“Yes,” I answered cautiously.

“Well, there’s something that’s confusing Kass and I, but we aren’t as gifted with numbers as you are,” she tried to butter me up.

“Oh, it must be bad if you’re sweet talking me.”

“Well, there’s a little catch,” now sounding very nervous.

“What’s that?”

“It needs to be figured out before the end of business day.”

“Oh Shay,” I almost whined. “You know I work third shift at the hospital this week.”

“I know. I know. I’m so sorry too. How about we give you a vacation of your choosing for however long you choose, just not too long,” she added.

“Fine,” I ground out. “I’ll get started on it now.”

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

“That vacation will be redeemed soon. Do you understand?”

“Yes! Okay, I have to go. Thank you again Kim. We’d be sunk without you.”

“I’ll be in contact once I have it completed.” I sighed, “You’re welcome.”

Not even able to soak for ten minutes, I climbed out of the bath and let out the water. As I walked out of the room, I grabbed my robe and headed to my office. When my computer was up and running, I opened my email and found three unread messages from her. Apparently, she failed to mention the other two that had to be dealt with this week as well.

“Oh, she’s definitely giving me this vacation, paid,” I growled.

After printing off the needed documents and reading through the email, I began to work on the issue. It was four by the time I’d finished. I’m dragging as I call her to tell her that the issue was resolved and should be in her email. Then headed out to my kitchen to warm up my supper and cook up some green beans. I ate quickly, hoping to catch at least a two hour nap before I have to go back to work.

Practically just flopping on my bed, I fell asleep. It seemed I’d only closed my eyes when my alarm was going off to head back to work. Groaning, I pulled myself out of bed, into the shower, dressed and left for work.

I was on the surgical floor again. The other cleaners must know that Felicia is here this week. Remember how I said she only messed with me? Well, it seemed that everyone enjoyed the torture she put me through. Or at least that’s the way it seemed. It’s okay though. I didn’t come here to make friends. It was a job, not social hour.

The night dragged on. It seemed like an eternity before I finally got to my last room to clean. Quietly, I walked in and checked the garbage. When I started on the floors, that familiar voice came.

“I wondered if you were going to be in tonight.”

“It’s morning, but I’m here,” I said gruffly.

“Have a rough night?” I could hear the smirk in his voice.

I sighed, and then looked at him. “Sorry I’ve barely slept. Forgive my rudeness.”

“Forgiven,” he smiled. “Will you talk to me for a little bit?”

“I have a job, you know?”

“I know, but I like talking to you,” he said sheepishly.

“Right, you’ve talked to me once.”

“Once is considered talking and you can really get a feel of a person in that time.”

“What do you want to talk about?” I sighed as I stepped closer to the bed.

“You, please. I’d love to talk about you.” His voice seemed to get deeper.

“Ugh! My least favorite topic. Okay, here’s the deal. You ask the question and I’ll answer,” he started to smile. “Here’s the catch. Whatever question you ask, you have to answer as well.”

“Fair enough. What’s your name?”

“Kim,” I looked at him expectantly.

“You don’t know my name?” He asked, shocked.

“No, should I?”

“Guess not. My name’s River.”

“Hmm, a nature name. Let me guess, you don’t even like nature?”

“Remember pins removed from my leg…” He said, pointing to the leg in the sling.

He continued to ask me questions until I was finished cleaning his room. Honestly, it was the most I’ve revealed to anyone before. I was spraying the floor when I caught him
trying
to reach his leg.

“Do you need help with something? I can call a nurse.”

“No nurse, can you just massage my leg a bit. It’s throbbing and tingly.”

I removed my gloves tossed them in the trash and walked toward him. “I’m not touching…”

“No, I don’t want you to touch there either. I’m strong, but I think that’ll hurt. I just want you to massage the calf and right here above my knee. I can get the rest.”

As soon as I started squeezing his calf he leaned his head back and moaned. After a few minutes I switched to above his knee. His moaning got louder.

“A little more pressure please.”

Massaging a little tighter, I started to notice the sheets moving. Before long there was an impressive tent in front of me.

“I’m not massaging that,” I joked.

He opened his eyes, turned bright red, “Damn,” he whispered.

“It’s not a big deal. I was only joking.”

“I thought I had the blankets shifted enough.”

“If you weren’t so big it might have worked, but I don’t think a box would hide that thing,” I said before I realized it. Now it was my turn to blush.

He laughed softly. “I’m glad you like what you see.”

It wasn’t his ego talking there. It really sounded sincere, like he was glad I liked his erection. Hell, that was funny to say. I’ve known this man a total of two days.

“Does it feel better?”

“Yes,” he breathed.

I went to walk away and knocked a few things over. So I bent down to pick them up and I heard a groan from behind me.

“What? Are you okay?”

“Just fine. You have a very nice ass,” he whispered hungrily.

“Felicia will be in here soon. You can probably get
help
from her if you need it.”

It was as if the air had been let out of a balloon, his erection started to deflate. This may be mean, but I was curious.

“You like my ass, huh?” He nodded. “You should see my breasts.”

I grab them with my hands, toss my head back and moan slightly. When I brought my head down, I bit my lower lip. His hand started working his full on erection under the sheet.

“Yes, let me see your breasts,” his voice so deep I could feel the thickness in the air.

“Oh, I’m sorry babe, Felicia will be here soon and that will be harder to cover up than your erection.”

I kept talking about Felicia and soon his erection was gone, just in time too. I was collecting my things as Felicia walked in.

“Ugh! Do I have to smell you every fu- morning? Room Seventy needs cleaned before you leave.” She turned and walked over to River. “Mr. Monroe, I missed you,” she smiled at him.

Turning, I quickly left the room and went to room Seventy, so I could go home. I wanted to soak in my bath, but then I remembered the other two emails. Exhaustion already claimed me, even before these next two nights fully took me there.

Shelter Me

By Kathy Coopmans

Coming FALL 2014

Chapter One

I sit on my beach looking out at the beauty of Lake Michigan, absorbing all of its exquisiteness while remembering how I used to come here all the time as a child.

This beach, my beach, has always been a safe place for me. Somewhere that allowed me to escape the reality of life.

Even as a child, I felt the hardships of the world. My mother was a selfish person and my father was nonexistent. From an early age I claimed this beach, finding the comfort of coming here late in the afternoon to feel the warmth of the sand between my toes. Owned by the serenity of the softly clashing waves.

As the sun would set and the sand became cool, I would walk into the water and revel in the tickling feeling you get as your feet slowly sink into the wet sand beneath you. I loved escaping at night when the world became too much; lying down in the soft, cool sand to gaze up at the stars. They became my wishing well. I would talk to them, reveal my secrets and hidden thoughts. Ask questions I wouldn’t dare ask the people who could answer them.

This is also the same place that I shared with someone I held near to my heart. No, who owned my heart. Someone I thought loved me back with the same intensity. I introduced him to my haven and let him have something I could never give away again...my virginity. But he couldn’t have loved me. Not really.
Don’t think about him, Shayne
. I wish it was that easy.

I left my beautiful little beach town and told myself I would never return again. Life though, chose a different path for me.

After I left home, I never came back. It was a promise I made to myself, and one I kept. But a week ago, my aunt died at the age of fifty-two from a car accident. Now that she’s gone, I feel guilty and remorseful. I should have come home to see her, should have put my past behind me and made that leap. She knew my reason for not coming home and never faulted me for it. She actually made the extra effort. I only wish I would have been brave enough to do the same. Every day, I thank God that she visited me in Texas. That she was able to spend every Christmas and a few weeks in the summer with us.

My aunt took me in and raised me after my so-called mother decided that it was more important to travel the world with her boyfriend. She dumped me on my aunt’s doorstep, deciding I wasn’t worth the burden. Not once did my aunt treat me any differently than she did my cousin, Adam. With only a six month age difference between us, Adam and I became thick as thieves. We were pranksters and stubborn in our ways, but never once did Aunt Judy complain. She took our childish antics in stride and more importantly, lent a listening ear when we needed it the most. She was my rock, my mom, the one person I knew I could rely on.

My mind floats back to memories on this beach with the one and only man that I’ve ever loved. The only man I’ve shared my special place with.
Luke
.

After two years of being together, I woke one morning to a note and a single red rose. The note was beautiful yet heartbreaking, telling me how sorry he was that he had to leave. One note, that’s what I received. No goodbye, no telling of when he may return, just a standard ‘I’m sorry’ letter. I internally yell at myself for thinking about him. It’s been years. Years. Why he still enters my thoughts is beyond me.

According to my watch, I’ve spent two hours staring at the water. The waves crash against the shoreline enticing me to stay, but I can’t. Instead of heading back to my aunt’s house to help Adam wrap up the finals details of my aunt’s funeral, I evade.

This is becoming a pattern.

For months and months I traveled, determined to find him, the one that would forever plague me. During my journey I fell in love with another town, one that spoke of new beginnings. I moved to Texas and went to nursing school after finally finding a place to settle down. Now I work for a small private practice just outside of Houston. My life is so simple and yet so boring, but in the long run, I love it this way. My heart is guarded and my daughter is safe from the same heartbreak.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts and decide it’s time to get my sorry ass out of here. I cross the sandy lot to my car and the sensation of being watched makes my skin prickle. I carefully glance around the beach. Unfortunately, it’s full of people. Being so lost in thought, I didn’t realize how busy it had become. I can’t decipher one face from the next.

Getting into my car, I push the key into the ignition and listen as the engine comes to life. Even as I drive away, the sensation never leaves. It’s unnerving, and suddenly I can’t seem to get home fast enough.

Adam greets me with a smile and a Corona. Seriously, it feels so good to be home. I love Adam and have no idea what I’d do without him. He’s my best friend and my brother; he has been ever since I moved in with him and my aunt. He looks out for me, just as a big brother should.

“Hey, brat. How was the beach?” he asks.

"It was perfect, just as I remembered it. It’s so damn beautiful and peaceful there. What did you do all day while I was gone?” I ask him.