Never Letting You Go (Being Yours Novella Series Book 1) (8 page)

Chapter 17

Present

Ava

I wake up feeling as if I’m gonna barf all over the place. I bolt out of bed, run down the hall, and into the bathroom, without even realizing someone is already in there, and empty my stomach out. After it’s empty, all I do is dry heave. This is awful. I hate it. I wish this was not happening right now. It’s then I realize that someone is the in the shower and sense them watching me.

Turning my head, I see Cameron, the curtain pulled back. His eyes are soft, looking at me. “You okay?”

Nodding, I take some toilet paper to wipe up my mouth. I flush, put the seat down, and go to the sink to brush my teeth. Thankfully, my parents have separate tanks for the toilets and showers, so the water temperature change doesn’t shock him.

After my second spit, Cameron finally closes the shower curtain to finish his shower. I rinse my toothbrush and leave the bathroom, locking the door for Cameron, in case someone else bursts in on him. I go back to my room and sit on my bed, mostly because I feel dizzy, but also because it was awkward in the bathroom. He didn’t just stick his head out; his entire, beautifully naked body was on display.

These stupid pregnancy hormones almost made me jump him, but I didn’t. Instead, I just brushed my teeth and left.

Once the dizziness passes, I get up and get dressed, throwing my hair up in a messy bun, since I don’t have time for a shower before my appointment.

I say a quick bye to Mom and Dad. Cameron is nowhere in sight as I head to the front door.

“Where you going?” I hear Cameron ask just before I open my car door.

I look up, and he’s standing at the end of the walkway, glaring at me.

“Um, I have a doctor’s appointment,” I tell him.

He narrows his eyes at me. “You didn’t think to let me know?”

“No
,
” I say simply, shrugging a shoulder.

He moves, coming around my car, straight at me, and snatches the keys from my hand. “Get in the car, other side,” he demands, moving me from my door.

I stare at him stupidly. “Huh?”

“Get in. We’re going to be late,” is all he says before opening my door and climbing in.

I grudgingly move to the passenger side and climb in. “Need directions,” Cameron says beside me as I buckle up.

I tell him, and we drive off in silence. How awkward is this?

“From now on, you tell me about these appointments. I am not missing any of them,” he says. “Am I understood?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. “Yeah,” I say quietly.

Turning away from him, I grab my phone to distract me. I search around on Facebook and see that Kristi posted a pic of herself with a new boyfriend. “Oh shit,” I say out loud.

“What it is?”

I show Cameron my phone, and his eyes go wide.

“I have to call Alana.”

“You sure about that?” Cameron asks hesitantly.

“If she knew about my boyfriend cheating on me, I’d want her to tell me right away.” He winces slightly at that as I put the phone to my ear.

“That reminds me, we have to talk.”

I shake my head at him. “No, we really don’t.”

He goes to say something more when I hear Alana pick up.

“Alana!” I say extremely loud. Maybe too loud.

“Ava, what’s up?”

“Um, shit, I hate doing this, but I know if it was the other way around, you’d tell me.”

“Uh, okay?”

“Bryce is cheating on you,” I blurt.

Alana chuckles. “No, babe, he’s not.”

“But, he’s dating my best friend. I just saw pictures,” I say, confused.

“Kristi?” she asks in a shocked voice.

“Yes, Kristi, my bestie, the girl I’ve told you about.”

“Oh no. Think I can come visit you this week at some point? We need to talk. And you can’t talk to Kristi about this,” she says quickly.

“Yeah, sure, but I don’t know. I like Bryce. You know this, always have, and Kristi is my best friend.”

“Please, Ava, it’s not what you think. I really just need to talk with you.”

“Okay, fine. Wednesday?”

I click off my phone and stare at it in shock. How can she be okay with this? I’m so confused.

“What did she say?” Cameron asks.

“She knows and said she’ll explain when she comes to visit this week.” I roll my eyes and look away from him. Everything still feels so raw.

“Don’t let other people’s issues get between what we have.”

“What do we have, Cameron? If you can, explain it to me.”

“I know I love you and that I want us to be a family. Isn’t that enough, Ava?”

“I don’t know…” He’s hurt me so much. I’m not sure if my heart can take it, us trying to work out.  I look into his eyes. I’ve loved him for so long. I’ve also hated him at times, but I’ve always wanted him. It’s just so hard.

Cameron

We drive the rest of the way to the doctor’s office in silence. I can tell this whole Alana and Bryce thing is bothering her. I’d say something to maybe make it better for her, but I’m afraid anything I say right now, she’ll turn it around on me.

I pull into the parking lot, and Ava already has her seat belt off. When she looks up to see where I parked, she snorts. “Seriously? You still do that?”

“Of course.” If I can’t pull straight through a spot, I don’t bother parking, especially in busy lots. I hate backing out of spaces.

She shakes her head and gets out of the car. I follow her into the building, watching her ass move with each step. What I wouldn’t give to put my hands on her right now. I could make her see that she’s mine, and that I’m hers. Always.

I take a seat as she goes to the counter to check in, and then I grab a magazine that’s on the little table beside me. Before I can flip through the pages, her name is called and we head on back to the room.

“Okay, Ava, lie back now. We’re going to see how far along you are,” Dr. Griggs says.

She lies back, and I watch as the doctor puts jelly stuff on her stomach.

“Sorry it’s so cold. My nurse didn’t put this one in the warmer this morning,” he says. He moves the stick around on her stomach, coming up with nothing. “Well, it looks like you are too early to hear the heartbeat right now. So I’m going to send a request off to the lab tech to see about getting you in for an ultrasound to determine your dates.”

“Okay, when would that be, do you think?” Ava asks him.

“You should get a phone call within a week or so, and they’ll give you a date.” He wipes the stuff off her stomach and helps get her sitting back up. He starts going over different testing they could do to detect birth defects and other issues, but also says since she’s still so young, that it’s her choice.

The minute he talks about a giant needle being poked into her stomach, Ava’s face turns pale. “No, no, I’m good. We’ll skip that.” The doctor chuckles at how fast she says that.

“Okay, well, looks like I won’t need to see you again for six weeks. After that, it will be once a month, then once you hit thirty weeks, we’ll see you every two weeks. Once you reach thirty-five weeks, I’ll need to see you once a week.”

“Thank you, Dr. Griggs,” Ava says to him.

“My job,” he returns with a smile. “I’ll give you some privacy and let you get dressed. When you’re done, just go on out to the front desk, and Jackie will give you your next appointment card and the paper you will need for the ultrasound.”

Ava silently gets off the bed and gets dressed, asking me to turn around. I almost tell her to suck it up, because she’s my wife, but I don’t. Not right now anyway.

“I’ll just step out then,” I tell her.

I close the door behind me, and I see her doctor walk toward the next room. “Wait up for a moment.”

“What can I do for you?” he asks me with a smile.

“Sex,” I blurt out. I didn’t mean to just blurt it out.

He chuckles at my embarrassment. “Sex is perfectly fine. As her stomach grows, you might have to try a few different positions to figure out which is comfortable, but that’s it.”

“Uh, okay. Thanks, Doc,” I say, just as Ava comes out of the room dressed.

“Ava, just go up to the nurse’s station. She’ll have all your paperwork about the ultrasound ready for you, so you just have to wait for the phone call.”

She smiles at him and nods. I follow behind her. Now, I just need to figure out how I can get her alone to talk to her. I’ve got to make her listen to me.

Chapter 18

Cameron

2 years into marriage

We get home from my business supper and Avalynn is quiet. She didn’t talk to me the rest of the evening, and every time I tried to put my arm around her or smile at her, she’d stiffen.

I even got glares from Alana Townsend and her friend all evening. Once they started to talk to Ava, it was like a freeze out had commenced. I was their target. I know Alana, over the last few months, has expressed she doesn’t want her father merging his company with mine, but I’m starting to think there is a whole other reason.

Ava quietly moves through the house and up the stairs. “Ava,” I call to her.

She stops and slowly turns around to look at me. “Yes?”

“Is something wrong?” I ask her.

“No, nothing, just tired,” she lies. I know she’s lying.

But I let it go. “Okay, well, have a good night,” I tell her.

“Yeah, you too,” she whispers, and I almost don’t hear it. Her voice sounds dead.

I watch her walk upstairs and lose sight of her when she walks down the hall. I thought she’d have fun tonight. I only take her to these dinners once in a while, but for the last year, I’ve been taking her to almost every single one of them.

I want her around me all the time. I’ve even stopped going on dates with other women, hoping to win Ava. Nothing is working. We spend all our free time together. We hang out, we talk; we watch movies and have the occasional food fight.

Last week, we went to my mom’s together, and I thought we were getting somewhere. But tonight, after she came back to the table after using the washroom, she was different. I knew she was bored with work talk, but this was different. Every smile was fake, and she didn’t speak to me for the rest of the night or throw her two cents in on any topic, like she was doing before she left the table.

I go to the kitchen, pour myself a drink, and take the glass up with me to my room. I stop just outside of Ava’s, listening at her door. I don’t hear anything except her clicking at her computer. I keep moving to my room, shut my door quietly, and sit on my bed.

How do I show her I want her? What more can I do?

Chapter 19

Present

Ava

Cameron gets a phone call on our drive home, and he pulls over, telling me he doesn’t like driving while on the phone. He gets out of the car, pacing slightly. I almost want to roll my window down to listen to what’s being said, but I don’t.

My phone dings with a text, and I see it’s Kristi.

What the fuck? You text me that shit instead of calling me? – K

I called you to tell you, but you had to go. – A

Yeah, and you wouldn’t answer my calls or texts after you sent that. – K

I know. I’m sorry. - A

Well, shit, can I call you now? –K

Busy now, but I’ll call you when I get a chance later today. Promise – A

You better – K

I tuck my phone back into my purse, knowing I won’t be calling Kristi later today. I can’t talk to her, not until Alana tells me what the hell is going on.

Cameron gets back into the car with a grin, and we drive off. Something about his grin pisses me off.

Getting on the highway to go home, my phone rings, and, of course, it goes right to my car since I have it all connected with Bluetooth. I hit go on the dash.

“Ava?” Sam’s voice fills the car when I say hello.

“Yes?” I ask timidly. Cameron is sitting right next to me, and I don’t know if I want to have a conversation with my lawyer with him around.

“We’ve run into a problem. Are you pregnant?” he asks.

I don’t say anything for a moment, and Cameron speaks up. “Mr. Mayer? This is Cameron. Yes, Ava is pregnant.”

Sam clears his throat. “Sorry, Mr. James, I wasn’t expecting you to be around. Can I take this as you are working on your marriage and the divorce is off?”

“Yes
,
” Cameron says firmly.

I say, “No,” at the same time, glaring at Cameron, but he just smirks.

“Well, um, Ava, I’m sorry to tell you, but this case is being delayed. It’s been approved by a judge that no divorce, or anything of the sort, will be approved or even looked over until after your pregnancy. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news,” Sam says. “Call me once you have the baby and let me know what you want to happen. I’ll help you in any way I can. Have a good afternoon.” He clicks off, leaving me fuming.

“You did this,” I snarl out.

Cameron shrugs. “You left me with no choice.”

“No choice?!” I scream. “You only married me to keep your company! Did you not learn anything from Lana? No, you didn’t, obviously. Plus, you have been with Becky lately. She’s fucking pregnant! Why would we still be together?” I shout the whole time. I bring up Lana because she went through something similar with her ex-husband.

He grips the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles going white. “We’re not going home. We’re going out to eat, and you’re going to listen to me,” he declares.

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I tell him.

“Yes, you are, and you will sit there, eat, and listen to me. You won’t say a God damned word while I’m talking.”

Cameron

I pull off the highway at the cut-off to Gasoline Alley, and Ava goes quiet. I find a small diner on the strip and pull in. This will have to do.

We walk into the diner, and Ava is stiff with my hand on her lower back. An older woman greets us at the door and smiles. “Just two? Booth or table?” she asks.

I smile back at her. “Booth please, and yes, just us two.”

“Right this way,” she says, after picking up two menus.

We follow her to a back booth and Ava slides in. I follow right beside her instead of sitting across. She glares at me, and the hostess just smiles, passing us the menus.

“Sheila will be out in a few to get your drink orders.” She walks away, leaving us alone, even if it’s just for a moment.

“I lied to you,” I start.

“What? Lied about what?” she asks.

“The day of our wedding, what I said to you, it was all a lie. What I said to Becky was all a lie.”

“I don’t understand,” she says, confused.

“I love you, Ava. I realized about a year later I did, but I also knew I cared about you on our wedding day. I can’t say I loved you since day one, but I can say that my feelings for you grew into love.” She stiffens at the declaration.

“Wait, but what about Becky? And why didn’t you just say something at the beginning?”

“Honestly? Because I’m a dumbshit.”

Ava giggles slightly.

“Can I get your drink orders?” a young teenager, chewing gum as if she’s a cow eating hay, asks us.

“Just water please.”

“You ready to order, or should I come back?” She snaps the gum.

“I’ll take the club sandwich on white, no tomatoes,” I tell her.

“I’ll take the chipotle chicken club, no tomatoes, extra sauce
,
” Ava orders.

Our waitress walks off, taking our menus with her.

“Okay, back to what you were saying before. Expand,” Ava demands.

“When I first met you, your ass drew me in, then your eyes. After, it was the way you held yourself. I knew that, not only could I get Becky to stop pestering me to marry her, I could also fulfill my father’s terms of the will. Somewhere along the way, I stopped thinking of you as a means to an end,” I confess to her.

“Okay,” she says slowly.

“I tried, Ava. After the first year, I tried. All the movies we saw together; the dinners I took you to with me... You might have thought it was your wifely duty, but before, I only took you to a handful of them. After I started actually wanting you, loving you, I made you come to them all.”

She nods, her face clearing slightly. “Okay, but I’m kind of stupid sometimes and don’t see things that are right in front of my face.” She bites her lip. “So you should have just come out and told me.”

“I’m a guy. I wanted you to come to me first. Looking back, I shouldn’t have let that happen. It’s why I finally made a move.”

She giggles, and then as quickly as it started, it stops. “Wait, why was Becky still around then?”

I rub my face. Before I answer, our food comes out and we dig in. Between bites, I answer her. “I had a merger with her father. He was friends with my dad, but Dad hated Becky. It’s why it was stated loud and clear to me and Mom that, if I married Becky, I’d lose the company instantly.”

“Okay, but she was around for years still.”

“Yes, she was. At first, it was because of her father. Then, it was because I wanted to make you jealous. Until the night you met Zach, I thought it was working, but instead, I found out that you’d been suffering because of her.” I take a bite and a gulp of water. “Once I knew, I told her to get out, not to come back. I haven’t spoken to her again until a few months ago.”

“Is the baby yours?” Ava asks softly.

I slap the table and a few people look over. Ava jumps. “For fuck’s sake, Ava. When we started, actually started, you were it for me. I never touched or even looked at another woman. So, no, the baby isn’t mine. She tried to say it was, and her father demanded I get the ball rolling on our marriage. But I said no. That’s that, Ava. I promise you.”

She stares at me silently and nods. “I believe you, and I’m sorry. It’s just hard. We’ve been through a lot. You’ve hurt me.”

“If I could take it back, I would, all of it.”

She nods with a weak smile.

We go back to eating, finishing in silence. I hope like hell I got through.