Never Let You Down: The Connaghers, Book 4 (4 page)

She firmly pulled her hand from his and looked down at the table. She put a bright smile on her face. “I’m so glad you’re all here, even if the circumstances aren’t the best. Thank you all for coming.” And then she endeavored to not even look at Jebadiah Garrett again.

Chapter Four

Unbelievable. Jeb tried to eat and smile as the family chatted around him but he couldn’t taste the food and each bite tried to choke him.
She doesn’t even remember. Or worse, she doesn’t
want
to remember.

He’d tried to put her out of his mind too. After all, he’d been married for nearly twenty years and had dated Sharon for years before that. Once he’d committed himself to her, he’d stayed loyal and true. Oh, sure, he’d daydreamed about the various ways Ty and Virginia might split up over some ridiculous fight, and then beat himself up with guilt that he’d wished such heartache on his best friend and secret love. After his own marriage, he put such traitorous thoughts behind him. He’d tried his best to be the husband Sharon wanted, and for the most part, he’d succeeded for years.

Even while he died a little more each day.

Being her husband required that he slowly kill off the real man hidden away inside him. His hopes and dreams withered away and crumbled to dust. He’d lost his passion for just about everything, even his practice. After Ty died, he’d redoubled his dedication to Sharon, determined to prove once and for all that he loved her and only her. Not that it’d helped.

The man who’d once loved Virginia had died a long time ago and only a shell of him remained.

Luckily, a tiny seed of the old Jebadiah was still buried deep within him. A seed that had finally sprouted and that he learned to nurture and shelter ruthlessly. In the end, he’d lost his wife, but he’d found himself again. He’d hoped to find Virginia, too, and rekindle that teenage love.

But she didn’t even remember the few precious moments of stolen passion that had kept him going all these years.

“What do you think, Miss Belle?” Vicki said with a mischievous smile on her face. “Do you think he’d do?”

Beside him, Virginia made a choking sound that had Victor rising up out of his chair ready to perform the Heimlich maneuver until she waved him off curtly.

“I do believe we’ve found the perfect specimen.” Miss Belle winked at Jeb and he dropped his fork with a clatter. “What do you say, Jebadiah?”

“To what?” He carefully avoided Virginia’s gaze. He had a feeling she’d be frantically waving him off.

“Don’t you even say it, Mother.” Virginia’s low voice rang in the room, causing everyone to cease their talking and look down at her. She flushed but didn’t back down. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Miss Belle laughed gaily and rose from her chair. “Balderdash.” She turned and sashayed down the table straight for Jeb, swishing her skirts like a young girl. “I know exactly what I’m talking about.”

He wasn’t fooled one bit and kept a wary eye on her. He might have even flinched when she laid a hand on his shoulder. “I dare you.”

“Dare me to what, ma’am?”

“It’s high time that you officially ask my daughter out on a date.”

Virginia turned a cutting look on him that he felt keenly even though he refused to look at her. “Don’t you dare, Jebadiah. Don’t let her trick you into anything.”

He could play it several different ways. He could be the jovial bumbling idiot and pretend he’d been bamboozled by the wacky yet deadly sharp Miss Belle. Or, he could play it cool and pretend that he had absolutely no interest whatsoever in the prickly woman.

Or, I could admit the truth.

He turned and met Virginia’s furious scowl with a wide, easy smile. “How could I be tricked into anything when that was my plan from the moment I drove onto the Connagher ranch? How about it, Ginny? Will you do me the honor of joining me for dinner one night?”

It was a curious thing to watch her face transform. For a moment, her lips parted slightly and she sucked in a deep breath. Her eyes widened. She didn’t say anything right away, but stared at him like she’d never seen him before.

But then her face hardened and before his eyes, she turned into a different woman. Her lips tightened, firm and unforgiving. The light in her eyes died down to a flat coldness. She looked at him like she’d just found a rattler threatening one of her prize foals.

“Oh, Mama, please do!” Vicki gushed, ignoring the look on her mother’s face. “It’ll be fun to talk about old times.”

Old times. Like when she’d set her mind on another man and never once looked back at her best friend. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. She’d looked back once, but she didn’t even remember it.

“I couldn’t possibly.” Virginia picked up her fork and turned her attention to her plate. She didn’t spare him another glance. “My arm, remember? I can’t even find a T-shirt that’s not a bear to put on by myself, let alone anything appropriate to wear out.”

“Good thing your daughter’s a designer,” Vicki replied, winking at Jeb. “I’ve got just the thing for you. How about next Saturday, Mr. Garrett? That way she’ll have another week to recuperate.”

Miss Belle patted him on the shoulder and then skipped toward the kitchen to retrieve dessert. “After a few days with me, she’ll be itching to escape anywhere.”

“Even a
date
.” Virginia sneered the last word. “But she’s right. In a few days, I’ll do anything to get out of the house. So I guess it’s a date, Mr. Garrett.”

She said it mockingly, ignoring the happy squeals of her daughter. For a moment, she met his gaze again, and Jeb didn’t even recognize her. He’d known Virginia had a steely inner core. That’s what had always attracted him the most. She was a woman who knew what she wanted and went after it until she got it, whether it was a fine horse ranch or the lanky cowboy she’d set her heart on. But this woman…

She looks at me like she can’t bear the sight of me. When I first arrived, she’d been glad to see me. Now she despises me. Why the change? And how can we possibly have a few hours alone without her trying to gut me?

Chapter Five

March 1974

Sitting in a “restaurant” that just happened to also have a hopping bar oblivious to drinking age laws wasn’t Virginia’s idea of a good time, although Sissy sure was eating it up. Jeb’s sister—two years her junior—had pleaded and begged her to come along to the open house at Texas A&M for any interested incoming freshmen, and she hadn’t been able to tell her no.

After returning from a long trip to Ireland, she’d been avoiding Jeb and all the old crew that had hung out together after school. Guilt churned in her stomach every time she thought about him, which only ticked her off more.
I don’t owe him anything. I certainly don’t owe him an explanation. I’m engaged. End of story.

Except she didn’t have a ring. All she had was Ty’s promise. That was enough for her. But would it be enough for Jeb? Why would he even care anyway?

When he walked into the bar with a handful of existing students determined to show all the giggling silly girls how fun college boys could be, she knew she’d been set up. Jeb had been behind this crazy trip the whole time. His sister suddenly disappeared with the group, headed across the room to the bar, leaving her alone with him in a darkened corner of the restaurant.

“It’s good to see you, Ginny.”

She fought to keep a civil tone of voice, even though she was chomping for a fight. She’d been chomping for a fight for years. “I shouldn’t be surprised you’re part of the welcoming committee. You always have a winning smile ready to bring people over to your side. How many idiotic drunk high school girls have you taken home lately?”

His brow arched. “Jealous?”

She snorted. “Hardly.”

“I am.”

She spluttered. “You? About what?” He leaned across the table, searching her face for so long she figured he wasn’t going to reply. “I see news travels fast. Sissy always did have a big mouth. Yeah, I’m engaged to Tyrell Connagher. Why that should—”

“I’m still a virgin,” Jeb broke in. “I guess you can’t say the same any longer.”

She could feel the blood draining from her face so fast that she swayed, suddenly dizzy. Was it so obvious? She’d been so careful, tiptoeing around Miss Belle and Daddy just in case. Stupid. Even if Miss Belle hadn’t sensed the change with her extrasensory abilities, then she evidently would have seen it written all over her daughter’s face.

Shaken, she didn’t even protest when Jeb took her arm and led her outside. The patio tables were empty even though the parking lot was full. Everybody was too busy partying at the bar to enjoy the stars.

“It’s okay, Ginny. I’m not mad. I just… I can’t…”

Stiffening, she shook her head. “
You’re
not mad? Well that’s a grand how-do-you-do. Why on earth should you have any right to be mad that I’m engaged?”

“I still remember the first time I saw you.” He didn’t sit down, but kept hold of her arm, standing in the shadow of the wall. “I was in the first grade and you’d just started kindergarten. We were outside at recess the first day of school and Bobby Wagner tried to cut in front of you in the line for the tallest slide. I was surprised you got in that line. Most of the little kids were too scared of it because it was twice as tall as the others, but that’s the first thing you headed for. When you pushed him back, he knocked you down. I ran toward you but before I could help, you stood up and smacked him in the mouth. You said, ‘You got my dress dirty. I hate this ugly thing but it’s Mama’s favorite. If this stain doesn’t come out, I’m going to smack you again.’ And even though Bobby was three years older than you and could have beat the crap out of me, he hightailed it out of there lickety-split.”

“Mrs. Baker came over to ask what had happened. Why Bobby’s mouth was bloody. And you said you’d hit him because he pushed me. Why’d you lie for me?”

“You burst into tears. I thought it was because you were afraid of getting in trouble, so I took the blame. Later you told me it was because you were afraid Miss Belle would think you got the dress dirty on purpose because you hated it so much.”

Virginia laughed. “Yeah, I hated to wear dresses. She finally gave up and let me wear whatever I wanted after that.”

“We’ve been best friends ever since.”

Her smile slipped. She still had her arm tucked in his and it felt so natural to drop her head against his shoulder and just look up at the sky. The city lights muted most of the stars, but she could barely make out Orion’s Belt. “Yeah.”

“You used to tell me everything. If you were in trouble, you came to me. If you needed help with homework, we did it together. When Miss Belle upset you, you called me. If you needed a ride, an ear to listen, anything. Yet you’re suddenly engaged and I had no idea until my sister told me in passing.”

She turned and pressed her face against his arm. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“You didn’t even tell me you were dating anyone. You were gone so long, and I haven’t even spoken to you since you came home.”

He said it softly, his voice echoing with regret and pain, not recrimination, but she still winced. “We didn’t date, exactly. One minute I was smacking him and the next we’re engaged.”

“Yeah.” He blew out a deep breath. “Knowing you, I can see how that would happen.” His voice became wistful and younger, like a kid asking for a bedtime story. “I can see you love him. I just didn’t expect it to happen. Not like that. I thought…” He sighed again and leaned back against the wall. The movement drew her with him, shifting so she almost faced him. “What about me, Ginny?”

She pulled back to look into his face. Illuminated by the streetlight, he gave her a stricken look as if she’d just kicked a dog for no good reason. “What about you?”

He raked his hand through his hair, dragging it down over his forehead and roughing it up as if he’d been out on a bender all night. “Yeah. What about me. I guess that says it all.”

“Jeb…”

“No, no, you’re right. I’m just your best friend.” He tried to pull away, but she pressed her hand on his chest, and that easily, she kept him pinned instead of letting him escape. “I just… I can’t…”

“What? What are you trying to tell me?”

He looked down at her, his eyes wild, his hair tumbled, and suddenly his mouth was on hers. As soon as his lips touched hers, he froze, his eyes flaring wide as he stared down at her.

Shock fissured through her. After so many years of waiting and wondering and calling herself an idiot, Jebadiah was finally kissing her.

His lips trembled against hers, soft and hesitant, but when she didn’t immediately pull away, he clutched her close and opened his mouth against hers on a long sigh.

Automatically, she hooked her arm around his neck. She turned her head slightly, rubbing her lips softly against his. Gently. Coaxing. He held his breath, shaking with intensity, like a green-broke colt feeling the saddle on his back for the first time. Jeb said he was still a virgin. Did that mean he hadn’t kissed anyone either? She found that hard to believe. He’d been one of the most popular boys in school, tall—though not as tall as Ty—dark haired, dark eyed, all-state running back and valedictorian to boot. Certainly gorgeous enough to draw any of the college girls’ eyes and his dad was a well-off respected doctor. Surely…

“Ginny,” he whispered, letting the words rub his lips against hers. “Please.”

“You’ve had how many years, now, to kiss me, yet you wait until I’m engaged to someone else to make your move? Why? You didn’t want me until someone else showed interest, is that it?”

“No, God, no,” he breathed out, his eyes flaring with hurt. “I’ve always wanted you.”

“I don’t believe you. I can’t, not when—”

He sealed his mouth over hers like wanted to swallow her doubt. He tasted like alcohol, as if he’d had to take a drink or two to get up the courage to approach her. Ridiculous. Because Jeb was her friend, her best friend in the whole world, and he’d never…

She settled against him and whatever she’d been thinking flew out of her head. His erection pressed against her belly, so thick and wide that she caught her breath and had to do a mental double take. Yep, that was him, all him.

He groaned, deep and rough in her mouth, yet he still didn’t touch her. He was braced against the wall like it was going to fall down if he didn’t hold it up. Pulling back, she could only stare at him, stunned. He suddenly wasn’t Jeb her friend any longer. The friend who’d danced with her countless times and taken her on rides in his car whenever she fancied ice cream down the road or needed a ride to school. Jeb her friend had never had a massive erection. For her.

Or had he?

She’d never touched him like this before. She’d never looked at his crotch to see if he was aroused, let alone checked him out to measure his size. They’d even gone swimming in their skivvies together last year. Had he been interested in her then? Could she have stripped out of her shirt and jeans if she’d known he was looking at her bra and wondering what her breasts would look like bare?

In all the innocent daydreams she’d had about him, she’d never imagined she’d be the experienced one. That she’d be the one pressing him flat against the wall to kiss him again. That’d she’d love the sounds he made. That she’d be tempted to unzip his pants and see for herself how big and thick he was, just to see if he’d let her out here in the open with a street just feet away.

Suddenly she could see herself taking him all the way. She could imagine the way his eyes would burn when he was inside her. How he’d move. The sounds he’d make. She jerked his shirt open so she could stroke the muscled planes of his chest. He was hairier than Ty, more heavily muscled, his thighs thicker and broader, the quadriceps built up over years of training to be one of the best running backs in the state.

Oh God.
Ty.

“No.” A harsh cry wrenched out of Jeb and he clutched her closer. “Don’t stop, Ginny. Please. I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Shaking her head mutely, she took a step away, shame and guilt tearing her in half. How could she? She was cheating on Ty with another man. He’d never forgive her. Granted it’d just been a kiss, this time. But could she ever look at Jeb again and not remember this?

Jeb wrapped his arms around her and slid down her body, pressing his head to her chest. “Please, Ginny. Don’t walk away. Don’t leave me.”

He was one of the best men she knew. Kind. Generous. Polite. Handsome. Smart. Strong. Not a mean bone in his body.

And he was on his
knees
. Clutching her. Begging her.

“Jeb, get up. You don’t have to do this.”

“Please.” He pressed harder against her, banding her tightly with his arms. “Don’t stop.”

“I have to.” She tried to say it gently, but he still flinched as if she’d laid his skin wide open. “I love him.”

“I know. I don’t care.”

“I care. God knows
he’ll
care. We can’t—”

“Ginny,” he ground out, his voice breaking.

She closed her eyes, blocking out the sight of this big strong man clinging to her on his knees. God. She’d never be able to get the image out of her mind, though. Every time she thought about him, she’d see him like this. “Get up. I said get up, Jebadiah Garrett!” She used her voice like a weapon, deliberately making it harsh and sharp. “Get your hands off me!”

He did it. Exactly as she said. She had a feeling if he’d been holding a pistol in his hand, she could have told him to blow his brains out and he would have done it without hesitation. The thought made her sick. Because she wanted to push him. She wanted to tell him to open up his pants. She wanted to take him beneath her, feel his mouth on her while she climaxed.

“Don’t ever touch me again. Don’t touch me, don’t kiss me, hell, don’t even call me. If I want to talk to you, I’ll call you. But don’t hold your breath. Do you hear me?”

“Yes,” he whispered, his voice a broken, wounded thing that made tears pour down her cheeks.

God, what a mess. What had she done? She’d lost her best friend in the world and likely her fiancé at the same time. The only man she’d ever loved.

The only man…

She whirled away, blindly walking down the street, trying to remember where Sissy had parked the car. One of the guest lots. She couldn’t leave Sissy stranded nearly three hours away from home, but she couldn’t stay here another minute. She had to get away. Clear her head. Try to figure out how she was going to save her relationship with Ty.

Hearing footsteps behind her, she turned and saw Jeb following her, his shoulders slumped, head down. If he’d been a dog, he’d have been slinking on his belly like his beloved master had just taken him out to the woods and abandoned him for good. “Get away from me!”

“I have to make sure you’re safe. Don’t worry about Sissy. I’ll make sure she gets home. Let me walk you to the car. It’s not safe to wander around this part of town and you might get lost.”

In truth, she was already lost. So lost. Everything she wanted was gone, turned upside down and off kilter. She swiped angrily at her tears, so furious she wanted to hit something. She wanted to pound with her fists. Scream and kick and wail at the unfairness of it all. Ty would have loved letting her beat on him, but he wasn’t here. He’d probably never see her again once she told him what she’d done.

Jeb walked her to the car. He even gave her the key off his ring, because they’d driven Sissy’s car. An ancient boat of a Cadillac that she hated so much she’d let Virginia drive the whole way. “Did you have anything to drink? Because I can drive you…”

“No,” she whispered, though the single word cut her throat like broken glass. She fisted her hands, refusing to look at him. She fought to keep her body still. Her words locked away. Her heart…

“You’re shaking. I’m sorry, Ginny. The last thing I wanted to do was scare you.”

A sound escaped her throat, breaking fresh tears loose. “I’m not scared. I’m mad. I’m so mad I could break the windshield with my bare hands.”

He was silent a few moments as if mulling her words over. “That’s what he gives you. He gives you a way to release the anger.”

She averted her face, so ashamed and yet so desperate. So furious. Her jaw ached from clenching her teeth. Her muscles cramped, tight with strain.