Never Let Me Go (28 page)

Nickayla and Skylar were nowhere to be found, but knowing my best friend, I could safely assume that she’d gotten Sky out of there the minute that Brody appeared.

I walked over to the couch and sat down, covering my face with my hands and wondering how the Hell I’d gotten into a mess
that
big. I peeked through my fingers at Hayden on the floor, whose anger was subsiding slowly but surely.

“For God’s sake, let him up, guys,” I groaned. “And get Brody out of here.”

The boys complied. Seconds later, Hayden struggled to his feet, and shook himself off while Callum shoved Brody toward the door that led to the backyard.

Hayden strolled casually over to me, rubbing his jaw and shaking his head. He reached for my shoulder and I shrugged him off. “Do
not
fucking touch me.”

His eyebrows shot up and he stepped back. “Are you
serious
? You’re
seriously
pissed at me? What the Hell did I do?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. Was he
really
asking me that? “You
hit
Brody!”

“The bastard
sucker-punched
me! What the fuck else was I supposed to do?”

“Not hit him!”

“Not hit him,
right
. Do you realize how
insane
you sound right now, being mad at me for
defending
myself? He hit me first!”

I groaned, standing up and getting in his face. “Do you realize how childish
you
sound right now? ‘
He hit me first!’
Give me a fucking break!”

“It’s true! He started it, and I finished it. I’m not going to apologize for that, Michele!” His voice was thunderous, and I could tell that he wasn’t backing down.

Tears started to well in my eyes as I recalled all that Brody had been through since his mom died, and how terrible I felt when I put my hands on him. I blinked, and tears streamed down my face. My lower lip quivered as I whispered, “
No one can hit Brody.
”

Hayden’s eyes softened and he knelt in front of me. He took my hands and sighed. “How was I supposed to know that, Michele? You
never
tell me
anything
. And for the record, I haven’t hit anyone in almost four years. But I’m not going to stand back when someone throws the first punch. I don’t care who they are or what they mean to you.”

I was a bit taken aback by what he’d said. It wasn’t about the fact that he was adamant on defending himself. It was about the fact that he emphasized that I never told him anything.

Was he right? I couldn’t say for sure, but that comment definitely bothered me.

“Okay.” I didn’t know what I could say to make anything right again.

He held my hands in front of him and looked down, shaking his head. “Okay.” He flexed his fingers—I assumed that his hands were sore. “Are you going to tell me now what Brody was talking about?”

I flushed, turning away from him. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Like Hell it doesn’t. You kept something from me. When Brody showed up, you
promised
me that you would be honest with me no matter what, for Skylar’s sake and mine. You swore that nothing would change, and you’re sitting here pissed at me for hitting him. You swore that if you were even entertaining the idea of giving him another chance, you would tell me, and that was a lie. So start talking.”

I stood up, walking away from him. “It doesn’t matter, Hayden! He wanted me to give him a chance. He wanted me to give him a week to show that he’s changed, to show that he can give me what I’ve always wanted, and at first, I disagreed. And then, he started saying all these things. Like how I was the first girl he thought he could love, and how I deserved much better than him but he couldn’t just walk away. And I don’t know. I don’t know why, Hayden, but he got in my head! He got in my heart, and I just…I couldn’t say no. I said we couldn’t do anything unless I asked you first.” I sighed. “But then, I got to your house, and you were all shirtless and sexy. And then you kissed me! And when you did, I couldn’t see a future with Brody anymore. I couldn’t see giving him a chance anymore because you love me. And that
means
something to me.”

Hayden was looking at me, but it was more like he was looking
through
me. Like he was hearing everything I was telling him, but he wasn’t buying any of it. He stood up and walked over to the window, staring out of it. When he turned back around, he stalked over to me with purpose. His eyes fixed upon mine and he gnawed on his lower lip as he gazed at me.

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up against him, giving me a kiss so hot I got weak in the knees. His tongue begged entrance to my mouth and I allowed it, reaching up and wrapping my hands around his neck. He reached up and pulled them away, placing them at my sides. “No,” he said forcefully. “No touching. I want you to feel this. I want you to feel how much I love you.” I complied, standing still as stone while Hayden’s lips descended on mine, his tongue grazing my lower lip, light and teasing. I gasped as he reached around and grabbed my butt, squeezing it gently in his hand. His hands moved up my back, holding me close. His teeth grasped onto my lower lip and he sucked, then pulled away, leaving me breathless and aching for more. He let go, then jerked away from me as he slid down the nearest wall and placed his head between his knees.

I didn’t even bother finding a wall to sit against. I just let myself collapse to the floor. “I felt that, boy,” I whispered.

He sighed, raking his fingers through his hair in sheer frustration—i could tell from the look in his eyes. “Michele, I want you to go on dates with Brody.”

My head snapped up, gawking at him with my mouth agape. Had I just heard him right? Did he just say that he wanted me to go on dates with someone else, someone who had hurt me, someone who had just sucker-punched him?

“What?”

“He wants you to give him another chance, Mich. And so do I. I want you to go out with him. I’m a patient man, and although I hate sharing, I think this is the best thing for all of us.”

I shook my head, pulling my knees up to my chest. “I don’t want to.”

Hayden patted the floor beside him, and, even though I wasn’t quite sure what he was playing at, I crawled across the floor and sat next to him. He extended his arm and tucked me into his side. I leaned my head against him and he rested his chin atop my head.

“I think this is what’s best. You owe it to me—and more than that, you owe it to yourself—to be one hundred percent sure about who you
actually
want to be with. And if pushing you halfway out the door and telling you to go on dates with another man is what I have to do to protect myself, my daughter, and more importantly, protect you, then that’s what I’ll do. I want you to be happy, Michele. I love you, and your happiness is all that I want. If you think you’ll find that with Brody, fine. If you think you’ll find it with me, fine. But either way, I want you to be certain that the choice you make at the end of this is the right one.” He paused, narrowing his eyes at me. “Don’t choose Brody just because you’ve got the most history with him. And don’t choose me because I’m the shiny new toy. Make your choice based on what’s in your heart. No matter what it is, I’ll be okay with it.”

I cracked a smile at how well he knew me already, nudging him with my shoulder. “You’re so mature, Hayden Jax. Not many guys would do what you’re doing.”

He sighed, kissing my hair. “I’m willing to do anything just to make you happy, love.”

Closing my eyes, I lifted my legs and extended them in across his lap.

I couldn’t deny how surprised I was at the fact that he was being so mature about letting me go out with Brody, but at the same time, I still didn’t want to. I knew that I loved Hayden, and he loved me, and that was more than I could ever hope for with Brody.

“I think you’re crazy for telling me to do this,” I mused. “I don’t want to go out with Brody. I’m done with him. I knew that from the moment you kissed me. I think I knew that from the moment you said you loved me. Hell, I think I knew that from the moment you approached me at Buck and Doe’s.”

He grinned, leaning forward and kissing me. “I
know
I’m crazy for telling you to do this. Seventy-five percent of me wants to tell Brody to go to Hell because he lost his shot. And then twenty five percent of me knows that this is what needs to happen. I’ll sleep better at night if I know you
chose
me, not that I got you by default.”

I grimaced. “Oh, no pressure.”

“None at all.”

I ran my hands over his hair and sighed. “If it’ll make you feel better, Hayden, I’ll do anything. But I honestly think that this is pointless.”

“It would mean the world to me if you would.”

“Then I’ll do it.”

Chapter Nineteen

The First Date

Brody text me at 8 p.m. on the dot the following day, after I’d spent my afternoon with Hayden. I still wasn’t sure whether I wanted to take another chance on Brody, but if it made Hayden feel better, I would do anything.

Years ago, I never would have thought that I could love two people at the same time. But there I was, trying to figure out which of the two that I loved more.

I didn’t bother dressing up, because after all, it was just Brody. I wore something that I would normally wear, no matter if I was going on a date or not: a light pink floral blouse with white shorts and my favorite cork wedge heels. To most people, that
was
considered dressing up, but for me, that was every day attire.

I fingered some mousse through my hair and called it a day, leaving my cell phone in the bedroom and walking out of the door.

Brody was waiting for me at the foot of the stairs, his arms folded behind his back as he waited for me, his posture rigid. He took my arm when I descended the stairs and led me out back. He was silent the entire time we walked together, arm in arm, until finally he revealed a bottle of apple cider, Chinese food takeout, and a plate of chocolate covered strawberries set atop a small coffee table in the backyard. Decorative pillows were on the floor, I assumed for us to sit on.

Hanging from the only two trees in the entire backyard was a large white hammock with a large body pillow and a blanket in it. The area was well-lit by Tiki torches, and from where the hammock was positioned, we would have the perfect view of the sun as it
finally
decided to set over the water.

He turned to face me, his cheeks red and his grey eyes regarding me with caution. “I’m sorry I didn’t really plan anything elaborate for you for our first date. I guess I was just hoping we could talk.” He shrugged, and I could tell that he was feeling bashful and inadequate, especially after his fallout with Hayden the day before.

“Brody, it’s fine. It’s perfect. This is me—you’ve known me your entire life. I don’t need hearts and flowers all the time.” I tried desperately to assure him that what he had before me was perfect for our relationship.

“No, but you
do
deserve it.”

I flushed, not sure how to respond to his sweetness. I kicked my shoes off, not ashamed of the fact that I’d taken the time to get dressed even though we hadn’t actually gone anywhere.

I watched Brody for a long time, waiting for him to follow suit and take his shoes off as well. When he didn’t I raised an eyebrow at him, trying my absolute hardest to keep from appearing impatient. He shook his head at me as he continued on in tortured silence, and then he extended his hand to me.

When I gave my hand to him, he took it gingerly and squeezed it reassuringly. “I promise, I’ll be good.” His cool gaze felt like one that was meant to calm me, but honestly, all it did was make me even more anxious than I already was. “Don’t be afraid.”

I gave a small sideways smile, raising my shoulders. “I’m not afraid of you, Brody.”

“You look it.”

“Do I? I’m just…I’m nervous. That precise emotion hasn’t quite caught up to my face yet.”

Even though I was making light of the situation, Brody didn’t laugh. That unnerved me more than anything, because for our entire lives, Brody and I had been able to joke with each other in the most uncomfortable of situations. Why had that changed all of a sudden?

Brody cocked his head to the side as he pondered what I said, and then he led me to the table. I crossed my legs in front of me and sat down on one of the pillows while he followed suit and sat across from me.

I waited for him to pass me one of the takeout containers, but he propped his elbows up on the table and sighed. “Before I say anything else, I just wanted to say I’m really sorry that I hit your boyfriend. I didn’t know that you never told him about what I’d proposed, and I…well, I guess I wanted you to go out with me because you
wanted
to, and not because he suggested it. Now it kind of feels like I got this time with you by default.”