Never Let Me Go (26 page)

I sighed, leaning up on my tiptoes—I’d forgotten how much taller than me he was when I wasn’t wearing heels—and kissing him. His arms fell away from my waist as he led me toward the blanket. He reached for the backpack that he’d brought with us, unzipping it and flipping it upside down so that all its contents fell out. There was a large pile of my favorite snacks: Reese’s, Cookie Dough Bites, Everlasting Gobstoppers, gummy bears, Milka white chocolate, and Hot Cheetos; a fleece throw; two bottles of my favorite soda—Big Red, which I could
rarely
find in California; and five DVDs.

“How did you get all of this?” I asked.

He shrugged, grabbing the throw blanket and draping it over both of our legs. “I stole Nickayla’s number from your cell phone while you were sleeping last night.”

He tossed me his cell phone, giving me free reign to look through his text messages. I opened the thread between he and Nic, noticing that there were about fifty text messages between the two of them.

Hayden:
Hello, Nickayla. Michele’s sleeping; I procured your number from her phone. This is Hayden. I am in
desperate
need of your Michele Taggaro Expertise in time for a date tomorrow evening.

Nickayla Quinn:
Hello, Hayden. In order to supply you with the proper Michele Taggaro Expertise, I need to know what kind of date you’re planning.

Hayden: My Grams owns a property on the outskirts of B.S. I wanna take her up there for a movie night under the stars. I need: favorite snacks, favorite drinks, and five favorite movies.

Nickayla Quinn: Is that it? Those are easy! She loves chocolate, but specifically Reese’s and Milka white (you can find them at your local 99 Cent Only Store). Also, gummy bears, anything with cookie dough, and those Gobstopper things that aren’t
really ‘
everlasting’. Favorite drink is Big Red strawberry soda. Five favorite movies are Beaches, Terms of Endearment, When Harry Met Sally, The Breakfast Club, and Con Air (don’t ask).

Hayden: Thank you! You’re a lifesaver. How can I make it up to you?

Nickayla Quinn:
Don’t sweat it.

Hayden: Seriously. Name it, and it’s yours.

Nickayla Quinn: Oh, alright then. You’ve twisted my arm. How about a killer discount on a birthday party for my boyfriend?

Hayden:
Done.

Nickayla Quinn:
Sa-WEET!

P.S.-You hurt my girl, and I’ll hurt your boys. You’ve officially been warned.

I giggled at the last text message, looking up at Hayden with tears clouding my eyes. I couldn’t believe that he’d gone to so much trouble to plan something special for me.

“
That’s
where you went earlier, when you left me alone with Skylar for the first time? To get all of
this
?” No matter how I tried, I couldn’t mask my surprise.

“Of course. You deserve this and more.”

I leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips, tears staining my cheeks. I gazed at the pile of movies on the blanket in front of me, and could hardly contain myself.

“What do you want to watch first?” Hayden asked.

“That depends.”

“On?”

“On whether you want my first reaction to be raucous laughter or an ugly cry.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “What in
God’s name
is an ‘ugly cry’?”

I laughed. “Have you ever watched the show on MTV called
Teen Mom
?” When he nodded yes, I smiled. “Have you seen what Farrah Abraham looks like when she cries?”

He shook his head, so I reached in my back pocket for my cell phone. A quick Google search would fix this up quick. I typed in
Farrah Abraham cry face
and then clicked on
Images
. When I’d pulled up a cry face satisfying enough, I turned it around and showed it to him.

“Seriously? She looks like a horse.”

His response had me keeling over with laughter. “Well, that’s what I look like when I ugly cry. And four of those five movies make me ugly cry. Nic
clearly
wasn’t looking out for my best interests when she suggested them to you. You’ll want to break up with me once you see how terrible my ugly cry face is.”

He eyed the picture of Farrah on my phone skeptically, then visibly shuddered. “It can’t be
that
bad.”

“Trust me, it is.”

He picked up
Beaches
and plucked it out of its case.

“Um, I think we should watch
Con Air
first,” I suggested.

He shook his head, then put the movie in the disk slot on his laptop and put the projector on. “But I’ve never seen this one. We can watch
Con Air
after this.”

I buried my face in my hands. “But—but,” I spluttered, trying to worm my way out of having to watch that movie with him. “But
Beaches
is the number one surefire-ugly-cry-movie on the list!” When Hayden only gave me a small smirk and pressed play on his laptop, not showing any signs that he was ready to concede to my miniature tantrum, I shrugged. “Fine. Fine! If you wanna watch
Beaches
, we’ll watch
Beaches
. But don’t say you weren’t warned about the ugly cry beforehand.”

He laughed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me down. We sat back against the table, the pillows behind us and our legs spread out in front of us on the blankets, our limbs entangled as the opening credits of the movie scrolled across the sheet. The sun was setting just behind the sheet, giving the sky an eerie—albeit romantic—purplish glow.

Hayden reached for the pizza and handed me a slice. I grinned over at him as I took a bite, then shrugged. “This pizza is good, but it doesn’t beat Little Sicily back home.”

“Really? This is the best pizza in town.”

“Yeah, in
this
little town. My hometown has way better pizza, I swear it. I’ll bring you and Sky a box the next time I come out here.”

I didn’t realize what I’d said until after I said it, but I’d just implied that I would be back, and when I was, I’d be visiting him. It was an odd feeling, having a reason to come back besides the fact that my best friend was likely going to go to college out in Big Springs.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he said.

…

My shoulders shook as I sobbed inconsolably. Hayden chuckled lightly as he guided my face toward his chest with one hand and rubbed circles against my back with the other.

“This is
not
funny, Hayden!” I exclaimed, swatting his chest as he continued to laugh.

“Come on, love. I’m not laughing
at
you. I’m laughing
with
you!”

I narrowed my eyes, huffing. “Does it look like I’m laughing?”

For some reason, my response only made him laugh harder, and that just made
me
cry louder. Sensing that I was seriously upset, he forced himself to stop laughing, and he planted a kiss in my hair. I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Aw, Mich. It’s okay. It’s just a movie.”

“How can you
say
that?” I wailed. “It’s not
just
a movie! It’s a movie about best friends, and love, and loyalty, and loss, and every time I watch this, I watch it with Nickayla, and we ugly cry together. And
you’re
sitting here
laughing
!” I closed my eyes and buried my face into his shoulder. “I
told
you we should have watched
Con Air
first.”

He continued rubbing my back as I attempted to calm myself down.

I’d always reacted the same way to
Beaches,
ever since the first time I saw it. Nic and I were ten years old the first time we watched it together, about the same age that Hillary and CC were when they first met in the movie. Ever since then, we’d laugh and cry and hold hands throughout the movie, and then one it was over, we’d hug and sob and swear to each other that we’d be best friends forever until one or both of us died. I had two sisters, but Nickayla felt more like a sister to me than Cecilia and Alyson ever would. The thought of losing her, whether to a stupid argument or to death was a notion so far beyond me that I’d start bawling the minute the thought crossed my mind.

“Michele. Michele, love, look at me.” Hayden’s voice held a worried edge. “Michele, I’m
sorry.
”

I shook my head, opening my eyes and gazing up at him. “No, it’s okay. It’s not you. Really, it’s not. It’s this damn movie. I cry every time I see it, and then I’m in kind of a shitty mood afterward.”

He eyed me skeptically, a wrinkle forming in his brow. “What can I do to make you feel better?”

I sighed.

“Nothing, really. We just have to let the shitty mood run its course.” I could see that he was starting to get upset, and I didn’t want to ruin his night just because
I
was upset. “Junk food helps, though. Let’s put in
Con Air.
”

He looked from me to the pile of movies like he wasn’t sure what his next move should be. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I’m positive. I’m okay, really.”

I leaned over and kissed him quickly, then reached for another slice of pizza. I took a bite of it and gave Hayden a smile, but the look on his face told me that he wasn’t buying it. He was gnawing absently on his lower lip and his eyebrows were clenched together.

“I just want you to know that I really wasn’t laughing at you,” he said.

“I know.”

“No. I
really
wasn’t laughing at you. I guess I was laughing because I’ve never met anyone like you. I was laughing because I can’t believe how long I’ve spent without someone like you in my life. I’ve never met anyone who can get so emotional over a movie that they can’t even be consoled. I love the way you think, and the way you see the world. I love that you’re affected so much by a movie that some people wouldn’t look twice at. I love that your emotions get the best of you. Wanna know why? Because it shows me that you have a heart. And your heart is what I love the most about you.”

I gaped at him, heat rushing to my cheeks. I set my pizza down, reaching across his stomach and leaving my arm draped over him. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, reveling in this amazing man, this person who saw right through me and still loved me.

He draped his hand over my waist, holding me close as his other arm went up behind his head. He sighed heavily, and I smiled, feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath my ear.

We watched the opening scenes of
Con Air
in silence, tangled up in each other.

“You wanna know what I was just thinking?” Hayden asked, his voice low.

“Hmm?” I tilted my head upward, gazing into his amber eyes.

He kissed the top of my head. “This year, Skylar and I will finally have someone else to celebrate her birthday with.”

I pulled back, a bit surprised by the sentiment.

“What? No! I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

I sighed, sitting up.

I didn’t know how to put my feelings into words. All that I could say was that my aversion to spending that night with Hayden and Skylar correlated directly to my dad and Gemma.

“Because, that’s
your
thing. That’s something that’s special between you and Skylar. I won’t celebrate with you.”

He looked taken aback by my biting response, but he couldn’t possibly understand. Both of his parents were still together, after all. He didn’t know what it was like to only have one parent, and to lose out on time with one of them.

“I don’t mind. And I’m sure that Skylar wouldn’t either,” he insisted.

“No. I won’t be a Gemma.” I shook my head.

He gave me a crooked smile, clearly amused. “What’s a Gemma?”

“My stepmomster. When we were kids, each of my sisters had a special tradition with my dad. Every year on Christmas Eve, my dad would take Cecilia to cut down the Christmas tree with him. He always wanted it to be fresh on Christmas morning. That was
their
thing. On Easter, he would have Aly help him hide the Easter eggs because she was the youngest, that way she had inside information on where the eggs were hidden. That was
their
thing. And on my birthday, he would take me to Nickayla’s Nonna’s lake house after my party was over and we’d release balloons with all my biggest wishes tied to the strings into the sky. That was
our
thing.” I looked over at Hayden, trying to gauge his reaction.

“When he left, I thought he would take all those traditions with him, and in a way, he did. He met Gemma, and she started tagging along. Suddenly, it wasn’t
our
thing anymore. After my seventh birthday, he started finding excuses to cancel. And then I just stopped caring. And all I can think back on is that my dad left my mom, left me and my sisters, and all our traditions went down the drain because he met a girl that he loved more than us.” I reached over and touched the side of Hayden’s face.