Never Have I Ever (35 page)

Ethan nodded once. “No problem finding it at all. My apologies in advance, however, I won’t be able to stay very long after dinner.”

Noah all but glared at his brother. “Why’s that?”

“My hope is to make sure the nerds in San Diego don’t destroy your software when they train their employees on it tomorrow. I will be grateful to wash my hands of that company’s demands once the week is over.”

“That’s an awful lot of trouble to go through for a contract,” I said. “They must be getting their money’s worth if you’re providing personal tutorials rather than sending in one of your people.”

“For larger contracts we pride ourselves on a personalized touch. It’s what sets us apart from the competition.”

Ethan may not have been a social butterfly, but he was a hell of an innovator, I’d give him that. For once there wasn’t an ounce of arrogance in his voice, just the simple stating of facts and common discussion. I relaxed a little more as I put the finishing touches on dinner and listened intently to the conversation between Ethan and Noah. They bounced back and forth from work to other mundane topics, though I did notice they mostly stuck to casual conversation about business.

I set the table and invited them to have a seat. While we began to eat, I chimed in with what I hoped would shed some light on their relationship, and maybe on Ethan’s personality so I could gauge how to approach him in the future.

“Since you both work so closely together I assume you decided to start your business pretty early on in your college days?”

“No,” Noah said. “Well, yes.
And no.
Ethan came to me with the idea for software development because I was the geek. I may have majored in business and finance, but I minored in computer science. I didn’t want in on it to begin with. I didn’t think I could handle the crushing weight of failure that most businesses run into, especially in an economy like the one we had at the time. Once he got the ball rolling, and I was a little more confident in myself, I jumped on board.”

Ethan added, “I don’t remember a time when I didn’t want to own my own business. Most would describe my obsession with success at my venture as obstinate.”

“Not just your obsession; you,” Noah jabbed as he took a drink of wine.

I shrugged. “That’s not exactly how I would describe you.”

“Oh,” Ethan chuckled. I was astonished he could manage such a feat. Though, even that was condescending. “And how, pray tell, would you describe me?”

“Persnickety,” I said, without missing a beat. I locked eyes with him and pointedly plucked a small bit of sirloin from the end of my fork.

Noah almost choked on his wine with laughter. He covered his mouth with the back of his hand and let the amusement roll through him before he was capable of swallowing down the alcohol. For Ethan’s part, I think he was still trying to work out whether to be offended or pleased because he couldn’t quite decide whether to smile or frown at me.

“That is a new one,” Ethan said at length.

Noah finally finished swallowing and all but coughed out, “At least she’s honest.”

“She is that,” Ethan agreed dryly.

“This is amazing Piper,” Noah said as he pointed to his plate with his fork.

“Glad you like it,” I said. “My dad taught it to me before I left for Caltech. It’s always been my favorite comfort food from back home; reminds me of autumn in upstate New York every time I smell it.”

“You’ll have to give me the recipe.”

I sucked in a sharp breath and shook my head. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

“Now that’s just cruel.”

“Secret family recipes have rules,” I said with a playful shrug.

“In that case, I insist you make it more often.”

I smiled, more than pleased with the compliment.
“Anytime.”

“You’re from New York?” Ethan asked.

I wondered just how much research he managed to compile on me if he was asking that question. Of course, he could’ve already known and was just playing the fool to throw me off.

“Schenectady, specifically.
Now, try saying that five times fast.”

He thought about it. I thought I even saw his mouth twitch. “No, I’d rather not.”

“What about you guys; Cali born and raised?”

“All our lives,” replied Ethan.

The biggest difference between Noah and Ethan was their way of speaking. If Ethan could get away with avoiding an in-depth description of anything, he would sum it up in as few words as possible. Noah, on the other hand, let his thoughts flow in a more personable fashion. The juxtaposition of that particular part of brotherhood remained a mystery to me.

I frowned at him. “You don’t give much away, do you?”

“It’s better that way.”

“Is it because you don’t trust me?”

“I don’t trust anyone, Miss Minogue. It’s nothing personal.”

“That can’t be true. You have to trust a lot of people to do what you do.”

“No,” Noah said. He eyed his brother. “He really doesn’t. The only thing we can trust these days is the ink on a contract, isn’t it?”

Ethan returned the strange, knowing gaze Noah gave to him in kind. It was a sort of acknowledgement and agreement, though he said nothing.

“I’m sorry,” I said, a little pained for him. “That’s a terrible way to go through life.”

I began to wonder why I even bothered, and if there was anything I could do to change his mind about me. There had to be more to Ethan than this one-dimensional, no-nonsense façade Hell-bent on keeping the world at arm’s length. After all, in a twisted way, he did care for his brother. He made my life a bit of a nightmare in the process, but at least he was still trying to look out for Noah’s best interests.

He was trying to look out for Noah’s best interests, right?

The odd, desperately hopeful melancholy that washed over the table during the second half of our meal made me doubt everything I thought I knew up until that point. We ate in companionable, if slightly awkward, silence until we each had our fill.

I cleared the table and, while Ethan and Noah chatted, portioned out what little leftovers there were into containers to store for my lunch the next day. The dishes could be left for later seeing as I had company to entertain.

“Dinner was excellent,” Ethan said as I joined them at the table again. “You’re quite the cook.”

“Thank you. I’m rather proud of my culinary skills.”

“Noah, could you give us a moment?”

Almost on cue, Noah slipped his phone from his pocket and got up from the table. “I need to wrap up some business for the day anyhow. Come get me when you’re finished.”

He gave a reassuring squeeze to my shoulder as he passed me on the way to the back porch. Once the door closed, I waited quietly for Ethan to speak his piece.

“They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” he finally said.

“Did it work?” I asked with a twitch of a smile.

Ethan shook his head subtly. “I’m not as simple as that. Have you thought on what we discussed at the café?”

“Your threat you mean?”

“If you’d like to put it so blatantly, yes.”

“Why did you come here tonight; to unwind and be with good company or to prove you’re set in your ways?”

“To appeal to your better judgment.”

I folded my arms across the table in front of me. “According to Noah, you both have sources to spy on each other. It doesn’t take a genius to realize you spy on me too. I’m surprised you don’t already know my response.”

“This isn’t a joke. I will rescind funding.”

I tried to remain as cold and stoic as he was, though it proved to be difficult simply because my heart was not as dead as his. “Ethan, I quit the observatory. I don’t care what you do with the money.”

“I see,” Ethan conceded. “Well played, Miss Minogue.”

“How are we even back to this after I opened my home to you anyway?”

“Dinner and polite conversation don’t equate to camaraderie.”

“So what does?
Because, at this point, I’m out of ideas.
It seems there’s no placating you.”

“There is,” he replied darkly. He leaned forward in his chair a little, lowering his voice as if to impart a delicious secret. “I am curious, though, what is it about him? Is the sex really that spectacular?”

“Pardon?”

“Is the way he fucks you just too much to give up?”

“Our sex life is none of your concern.”

But Ethan didn’t relent, “Does he take you hard and fast with no regard for what you want?” I tried to protest, but he pushed through my words, “Does he fuck you like a lover or like a slut? Because I’ll tell you now, a slut is all you are to him.”

Both, is what I wanted to say. Perhaps what I should have said, too. And that I was devoted to every instant of it. But that was for us. Just for us. And the likes of Ethan were unworthy of knowing that particular flavor of my heaven.

“You’re going to want to stop now,” I insisted.

“Then tell me what makes you so keen on staying with him despite my warnings.”

I exhaled deeply as I ran a hand through my hair. There was nothing else I could say besides the truth; “I care about him, Ethan, an awful lot. I hoped you might see that and give me a chance.”

“Your feelings for him don’t matter.”

“Ethan… Sex without love is nothing more than a complex form of masturbation.”

He laughed. A cynical and narrow sound I wanted to drown out.

“Are you really so disgusted with me?”

“No. I’m sure you’re a fine woman on your own. What I demand has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.” Ethan stood from the table. He smoothed out his shirt and added, “I don’t suppose you would consider leaving all of this if I simply asked you to.”

“Give me a reason,” I snapped.
“One which isn’t wrapped up in shady, inscrutable language and insults.
A direct reason in plain English.”

But, because it was Ethan, the likelihood of receiving a direct answer from him waned as the conversation went on.

“If you don’t walk away now, you will regret it in the future.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes.
“Another threat?”

“Not a threat, a request. I’ve learned that you’re stronger than the others before you. There’s nothing I can threaten you with that you can’t find your way around.” After one more drink of his wine, he nodded to me. “Thank you for dinner, Miss Minogue, and goodnight.”

The front door closed up tight as he left. Sick and tired of fighting the good fight, of being reasonable, I simply let him walk away. I stared at the wine glasses in front of me for a solid minute before I snatched them from the table and brought them into the kitchen. I took the opportunity to drain the remainder of the bottle of wine into my glass, and then drained the wine from my glass in three large gulps. My hand gripped the glass so tight I thought it might shatter. When I swallowed down the last of it, I made it shatter. All of my frustration and rage at my inability to get through to Ethan just snapped in me. The glass flew from my hand and smashed against the wall of my kitchen, scattering pieces across the linoleum floor and dark counter tops.

The wine glass’ death was not in vain; it prevented me from screaming at the top of my lungs and alerting Noah to my outburst of frustration. I braced against the sink and tried to think of anything and everything except Ethan’s blatantly discourteous behavior. He never even went to say goodbye to Noah before he left. That, I think, was what annoyed me the most.

I swept up the broken glass in the kitchen, resolving to vacuum what I missed in the morning. Cocoa usually confined herself to the living room and bedroom so I wasn’t worried about her getting cut that night. I popped the cork on the bottle of white wine, poured two glasses, and made my way out onto the back porch with Noah where red and purple slowly took over the sky as the sun began to make its final descent into night.

“Hey sweetness, where’s Ethan?”

“Just you and me now, Sir,” I said as handed him a glass.

Noah accepted it with a sigh. “I had a feeling he might take off.”

I hopped up on the railing beside him and stared down at my wine. “In classic
douchebag
style, too… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t say that. That man just gets to me.”

His tone got more serious, “What did he do?”

I shrugged, my attention focused on the glass in my hands. “He doesn’t want me with you and I don’t know how to convince him I’m not a threat. Every time I’ve tried he’s railroaded me. It feels like I’ve not had enough time to talk some sense into him.”

“Hey, look at me,” Noah said. I did. “You don’t have to impress him. He isn’t the one who wants to keep you.”

I gave a little smile, perhaps knowing, after that statement, I meant more to Noah than a summer fling. I didn’t remember until that moment, but he told me before his longest relationship, with Selene, lasted only four months. Our four month mark was just about to slam into us.