NEVER GOODBYE (An Albany Boys Novel) (9 page)

             
Ben10
has just turned into
Diamond Head,
who is frustrated at the
Omnitrix
because, as usual, it isn’t the alien he wanted. All the while Gwen and Kevin are fighting against the evils of the universe. Some things never change and I’m relieved that my likening for cartoons is one of those things.

              Ben, Blue’s brother, is sitting on the couch eating cereal straight from the box and I laugh softly before sitting beside him and nod a second greeting.

              He nods back and I smile. Yep, I love this kid.

              “So, best friend of my sister who is a boy, why didn’t she tell me you were taking us?”

              I think about how to answer him and I have a gut feeling he would call me on my ‘B.S’ so I try to keep it as truthful as I can. “Because I want to get to know her better and that also means getting to know you better.”

              Ben seems to be pondering what to say next before he opens his mouth, his eyes never leaving the television screen though. He’s a sharp kid.

              “Do you like her?”

              “Yeah, bro. I like her.”

              He pops more cereal in his mouth and eyes me for a second before he is back at the screen. “Does she like you?”

              I sigh without thought and Ben turns to me with an expression I can’t decipher, but there is something sad there and I want to take it away from him, too. “Yes. But nothing is that easy in my life. I suspect it might be a little like that for you guys, too.”

              We stare at each other for seconds with
Ben 10
in the background before the cereal box is tilting my way and I smile, reach in against the rustling, plastic packaging, and grab a few of the tasty offerings. I think I just got a temporary approval from her little brother. He then goes back to his show and so do I before I hear her footsteps behind me.

              “Ready?” she says softly and I smile as I look over my shoulder because I know it’s a reaction to me and I like it.

              Ben turns the TV off and drops his box of cereal on the coffee table before flipping over the lounge and pulling some ninja karate moves while Blue frowns as only sisters can. I’m impressed at what a blue belt in Karate represents and, from the look I’m getting now, I’m alone in that appeal.

              “I think I want to take up karate.” I jump from the chair and pull some messed up karate moves right up until I’m inches from her face. I want to kiss her so badly and, as I move closer, her quickening breath tells me she just might let me. Instead I peck her cheek and jump back into another karate move, screaming like Jet Li after he pulls one of his awesome moves.

              “You’re such a child.”

              I grin and take a step toward her to see her stiffen again. “I think
you
need to act like a child sometimes. You seem a bit stiff to me.” I then do something ballsy; I slap her sweet ass that’s held by a small pair of denim shorts and listen to the gasp infiltrate my ears and my libido. Then I walk down her hall until I’m out the door without looking back even though I want to so bad.

              This friendship is going to be the death of me.

Harper

             I think I swallowed my tongue when his hand slapped my bottom and then promptly lost all brain cells when he gave me his lopsided grin before walking away from me.

              He’s a tease and, God help me, a good one.

              Game on!

              By the time I grabbed my bag and locked the door behind me, Benny’s in Vaun’s truck waiting for me. It’s a single cab with a few scratches on it and instantly three things run through my mind. One, he has all that money and yet chooses to drive a workman’s vehicle instead of some sleek thing, and two, being a single cab and the fact that Benny is seat belted to the passenger side means I’m to sit between them. Like, close. And I don’t know if I’m ready for close again in our new relationship. Three, I haven’t been able to get our last kiss in the back of his truck out of my mind.

              “C’mon Harper,” Benny calls. “We’re gonna be late. I heard this Sensei is a ball breaker. Literally.”

              “Okay, I’m coming.”

              “You’ll have to jump in through this side,” Vaun smirks and I scoff. Uh-huh, like that’s not planned.

              “Friend, you better behave yourself.” And I don’t mean while he sits by me in the cab because I know he’ll behave with my little brother in there with us. What I mean is, I’m going to have to heave myself up into his truck cab leaving my ass to his assault yet again.

              He bounces his brows up and down and winks. I know right then that this friendship transition is going to be a difficult one, if not damn near impossible.

              We arrive at Benny’s lessons just in time. The ride there was spent in idle chit chat between the two of them with me planted right in the middle making me rethink the seating arrangements on the way home. Okay … that and the fact that every time Vaun moves his arm or hand, he grazes my leg and there’s no skirting it. Believe me, I tried.

              Benny is gone in seconds, leaving Vaun and I to follow idly behind. After signing Benny in, I would normally go teach my infant dance class, but this is a different town, a different life. Today I will be finding something else to fill in my hour with Vaun.

              “So, are you going to talk to me?” Vaun asks as he slips in beside me as I’m signing Benny in. I frown at him.

              “What are you talking about?”

              “You’ve hardly said a word to me all morning.”

              “I would think you’re sick of my voice after talking all night.” I eye Benny and I don’t wave because he would complain if I did. Instead I leave and tilt my head up into the bright sun, absorbing the rays and the quiet. But it doesn’t last long because the quiet means other things in the presence of someone like Vaun and I chance a glance at him. I regret it because he makes my stomach swim. I’m exhausted and I need coffee.

              He nudges my shoulder with his. “What were you just thinking?”

I love that he finds ways to touch me. I hate that I love it because I’m my own worst enemy.

              Using a pass would be handy right now, but I realize they might be in danger under our new agreement so instead I tell him one of my thoughts. “I need coffee and I’ll be indebted to anyone who can provide me with some, and I mean
anyone
.”

              Vaun squints, scrutinizing my answer before dropping his shades from the top of his head and grinning. “I like you being indebted to
me
so it’s a deal, you hussy.” He wraps an arm around me and pulls me to him before kissing the side of my head. “Come on, grumpy, let’s get you that coffee. I know just the place.”

              I know I said that I needed to keep him distant to save him from what’s to come, but he sure makes it difficult and despite his promise, he’s sure fighting it.

              We make it to the café around the corner in comfortable silence. The sun is beaming its best on us and I’m a little self-conscious about the closeness we are slipping into. And then there’s the sweating. I don’t want to sweat on his arm so I step a little to the side, letting his arm slide from my shoulder. He eyes me, but says nothing and it’s relieving not to have to explain my withdrawal because I might have hurt his feelings. April is good that way, too. Sure she acts all cut, but she knows why I do it and gives me space.

              He pulls a chair out for me and I can’t help the grin that’s breaking my damn cheeks, but he mirrors mine and it feels natural and good to be around him. He sits across from me and leans back in his seat, placing his hands behind his head. He looks cocky and thoughtful and this time I ask, “What are you thinking right now?”

              He titters, “It’s a bugger not knowing, huh?”

              I suck on my lip and lean back in my own seat, nodding. “Touché.”

              Vaun drops his arms to the table and leans forward. I think he’s waiting for me to do the same when he cocks his brow at me so I meet his stance again, stifling a giggle at our game.

              “What was the real reason you didn’t wake me this morning?”

              Again I want to pass, yet I don’t. I’ll need them when it’s important. “The truth … I was afraid. I’m afraid of crossing the line with you that’s so easily blurred.”

              He looks like he’s going to say something then clamps his lips shut, nods and sits back as a waitress dressed all in black comes by with a tiny notepad and pen poised.

              “Vaun,” she clips before turning her icy glare on me. There’s definitely history there and I know I’m going to use it as one of my questions as soon as the girl takes our order.

              “Mary,” he sighs her name and it makes my belly stiffen. “Could you please bring a sweet tea and two biscuits and gravy and a Vanilla Latte, please? Oh, and a slice of today’s sweet pie.”

              I didn’t tell him I wanted Vanilla or food, but suddenly the thought of the sweet, smooth caffeine and the greasy food in my mouth makes it water. The pie, I wouldn’t touch this time of morning, but I suspect he knew that, too. It’s weird how different the little things are here compared to Seattle. I would order a bagel and latte back home, here it’s wholesome cooking from scratch. I think it just might be the best thing about moving here where non humans are concerned.

              Mary scribbles the order and turns swiftly, heading back to the counter without a word. Whatever happened to customer service?

              “Let’s have it,” he says heavily and I turn back to him and find that sadness in his eyes again that he normally shields so well.

              “Well if you know what I’m going to ask then why not just say it?” I know I should be gentler, give him a break when he seems to be struggling with what he feels he needs to divulge.

              He nods, “I just don’t want you thinking what you’re thinking even though it’s kinda what you’re thinking.” He grunts and drags his fingers through his hair and I give.

              “Pass it.” I want to know, but I don’t want to watch him fight himself over it. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter. He may have a few regrets, and I can tell he regrets whatever happened between him and Mary, but I can tell he’s a good guy. He doesn’t think so, but I do and I’m going to make it my mission in our time together to make him aware of it.

              Vaun reaches for my hand and I let him have it because I think he needs it. He squeezes it and I squeeze back as the tremor of … what? Fear? Apprehension? The tremor ripples through me and I try to hide it, though it’s no use. He sees everything. It’s as though I’m naked, raw to his eyes and I can’t hide anything. He traces my shoulder with the fingers of his other hand, over the goosebumps that rise.

              “She is the sister of a girl I didn’t have feelings for even though I let her believe I did for one night.”

              Yep, pretty much the direction I thought it was going to take. “Why did you?”

              His jaw bunches and although we would normally take turns in asking questions, this is different. I want to know, but more than that, he needed to tell me.

              “Ask me about the Bonsai tattoo.”

              What? I swear he not only has ESP, but the guy flip flops like a fish on dry ground.

              I remember exactly what he’s referring to and a warmth spreads through me at the memory. “Why a bonsai?” I want to ask why such a huge one, too. It starts at his left side of his hip, runs diagonally up his ribs and across his entire back. It’s intricate and beautiful and extraordinary. I love it even without knowing the meaning behind it.

              “My mother used to own a nursery. Now I own it.”

              He’s breathing heavy and his eyes are tracing the stroke his thumb is making on my wrist. I don’t understand why she gave him a nursery at only seventeen years old.

              “Her most favorite plant in the word was the Bonsai. She once told me Bonsai was the tree planted where heaven and earth meet.”

             
Oh my God.
My free hand goes to my mouth because I know now. I know the sadness, I recognize it from my father and it means so many terrible things my chest aches badly and I don’t want him to continue. I want to hold him and stop the words from coming out of his mouth because they change everything. I want to wipe the tear that’s sliding down his face instead of letting his shoulder roughly do it because he refuses to let go of my hand.

              “You know, she told me a lot about plants and that’s the one that sticks. She made a sanctuary of sorts with bonsai and other oriental plants, but I didn’t think anything of it at the time. It was like she knew she was dying and didn’t want to tell me. Like she didn’t want to own it,” he sniffles, “she was tired for a long time before that and I put it down to many things that don’t matter a damn. I put it down to having an asshole ex-husband, a teenage boy who didn’t appreciate her enough ―”

I want to butt in and tell him she knew he loved her and appreciated her, though I stay silent. He needs this more than he realizes.

“I put it down to running a business that doesn’t allow luxury … I put it down to her not giving a shit about herself because she loved me more. But in the end it was asbestos that murdered my mother.”

              I’m so glad we’re alone right now because I jump from my seat and I’m at his side crushing him in my small arms before he can utter another word. When I thought he needed protecting, I wasn’t wrong. What I was wrong about was the depth to which we are damned.

5

Closer to the edge

Harper