NEVER GOODBYE (An Albany Boys Novel) (31 page)

Vaun chuckles and I slap his arm, still gaping at my gross little brother. “Benny, don’t eat that. My hair could probably be right through it.”

“Hey, I eat my salami sandwich after it has fallen meat-down on the ground. What’s the diff?”

“What?” That’s disgusting.

“Five second rule. It’s a proven fact, I’m sure,” he protests, shoving another mouthful in.

“Benjamin,” Dad clucks, “Please don’t eat your food off the floor and I’m sure the five second rule is
not
a proven fact at all.”

“Look,” I say, putting a stop to all the diversions that my hair needs to go. “It doesn’t change the fact that I need to face the truth and, for all our sakes and health, cut it off for the duration of the malting period.”

Vaun took my hand and I looked at him. He’s all sweet with his puppy brown eyes, willing me to calm down. “Cut is fine, but don’t be rash and shave it, okay. I’ll take you to Heather’s and you can get a cool cut that you’ll love.”

I actually like the sound of that. I can take April and we can spend some girl time getting our hair done before I don’t have any at all. “You’re right. I’m calling April. She can get hers done too, but not before I call in for pizza.”

“But pizza could come with hair in it too and I have to say … I’d rather the hair be yours,” Benny calls with his fork held high.

The room is filled with load groans and protests about the new level of grossness Ben brought the conversation to. We end up eating what I served with a careful eye for stringy bits.

***

My hair actually looks pretty cool short. I went shorter than I thought I would but I figured I may as well go for something a little daring. It’s all going to go anyway, so why not take the jump?

Heather has done an awesome job and is just finishing up with a bit of product when April comes out from the back room and sits gingerly beside me. I still have tears on my face from laughing at her profanities through the thin wall. She didn’t want to do anything to her hair, but because I was being daring she said she would too and got herself a Brazilian wax.

I wished I had Carter’s camcorder; it was priceless.

She’s looking at me, her eyes are wide and so is her smile. “Damn, Harp. You’re looking H.O.T. Like, smoking. Vaun’s gonna have to watch out more than ever now.”

I ended up going for a funky pixie cut which doesn’t really hide the balding going on but, I agree, it sure does make me look like a new person. Kinda hot, like she said, and it feels good. No, it feels effing awesome.

Heather takes my cape of and grins. “Voilà!”

“Thank you so much, Heather. You’re a genius.” I say turning left and right, grinning.

“It helps to have a gorgeous model,” she winks and I blush hard.

Polly, the beautician who has had to wear the wrath of April’s potty mouth calls as she comes out to join us from the back room, “April are you going to save any of this hair―”

“Are ya fucking kidding, Polly? That shit can be burned for all I care. Why would I want to keep my fucking hair after you ripped from my who-ha?” April practically screams and I burst with laughter at the shocked face of Polly and April.

“I was going to say, before you grossly interrupted, are ya gonna save any hair for Harper here? I heard a lot people who lose their hair, it doesn’t come back the same. Like it can come back straight when it was first curly, even a different color.”

“Oh.” April pulled her head in like a turtle and looked down at the floor where I followed.

There, at my feet, are long strands and clumps of my hair. There’s lot and I play Polly’s words over in my head as I lean down and grab a clump of my hair. I fold it in half and tie it in the middle so that it won’t get ratty.

“You know, a friend of mine knows someone who actually prepares wigs with live hair. I think if I send what you have left to her she can have them make you something for when you lose it,” Alice says sweetly, “Of course, it won’t all be your hair, but a lot of it will.”

I never thought about a wig really. Vaun gave me his old Warrior’s cap. I love it and I knew that’s what I’d wear. But now, as I stroke what’s left of the hair I’ve grown for eighteen years, I reconsider. If it comes out a different color or texture I would lose all of this. “I could wear a wig to the prom or graduation.”

“You could,” April coos, all of a sudden wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “It will almost be like you never lost it.”

“Yeah. Almost. But it will better than a Warrior cap.”

“Hell yeah. But don’t tell Carter I said that.”

I shake my head as Alice begins to gather up my hair. Polly has already laid out some foil to wrap it in.

“Thank you, both of you,” I say to them as they seal my hair for its new life. My new life. “I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate what you both have done for me today.”

“Don’t mention it.” They both say and began to giggle as they hug me in my chair. I don’t think I have ever been hugged so much in my life as I have since coming to Albany, Missouri, and I have to say that although I wasn’t much of a hugger before, I have come to like it very much.

April pays for both of us even though I protest and the boys arrive on time to pick us up. Carter has his camera pointed at me before quickly changing his focus to Vaun. Even I’m worried about his reaction as he stands there.

“Well, goofball?” April punches Vaun in the arm. He hardly seems to notice it. “Say something.”

Yeah, say something. “Do you like it?” I ask, hoping he does. I love it. Not that it should matter if he likes it or not, but it does. I hate that.

He still says nothing, but he swiftly comes to me and takes my face in both of his big hands and kisses me hard. I think I just fell over or spun or … who the eff cares? He is kissing the hell out of me and I love it. He only stops when the cat calls come from behind him and then his forehead leans against mine and he asks me to open my eyes.

I try, but they protest. I’m still swooning and I lick my lips.

“Open them, Blue.”

I do and I’m met with his melting chocolate eyes and straight nose.

“You are the sexiest, most gorgeous woman I know and I’m fucking glad you were dumb enough to say you would be my girlfriend.”

I splutter a laugh and he pulls me in to his chest, tucking his chin into my neck. “I’m going to be going crazy at school tomorrow warding the guys off you. It was bad enough before, but now …”

I slap his chest and giggle like a dumb girl that he always seems to bring out of me. “Well, at least we’ll be even then, wont we? Now, let’s go celebrate your new contract.”

Vaun’s mother had wanted to qualify for organic status on the property and then branch into organic beef. She had achieved the organic status, but money soon ran out and so did her time when she got sick. Ever since, Winnie, Ed and Vaun have been saving and working towards it. Recently Vaun’s father had a change of heart and gave Vaun the money to fund his dream. They have to make a presentation in Jefferson City to some bigwigs over a contract for organic Albany beef in two weeks. They leave the same day as I go for a treatment and will be gone for maybe four days.

Vaun doesn’t want to be absent that long, but between the company and the banks and such, four days is pushing it already. Either way, I told Vaun he had to go and he had to focus. I made him promise that he wouldn’t allow me being sick get in the way of his dreams. I would never forgive myself if that happened. And so he promised me because I always get what I want when I set my mind to it with him. That may sound bitchy, but I think it’s a girlfriends icing on the cake. Besides he has the same power over me, he just doesn’t know it yet.

***

School over the next two weeks was pretty easy. Vaun and I are inseparable, especially since I lost the rest of my hair. I now wear his lucky Warrior cap. He thinks it’s adorable, I think he’s delusional. But hey, it’s not forever.

I still feel like people are staring and, though I know they can’t help it, it’s still annoying. Other than that I have made a crap load more friends and life is pretty sweet. Last week I had scans. The CT scan medicine tastes like chalk and comes straight back up, so they give me something different that was more like concentrated lime cordial. I have to say I don’t like that much either, but at least it stays in my belly. The CT and gallium scans show a decrease in the size of my cancers already and I have surprised them all. They didn’t think I would make it this far. Unfortunately, though, my white cell count is too low for the last treatment so I have more drugs to take. I swear I’m going to start to rattle with all these pills in me.

Dad and I will go in for treatment tomorrow, a day earlier than planned, and they want me to stay overnight. It’s killing Vaun that I hit a complication and he won’t be there. He hates that idea more than I do. What’s worse is that they want to do a lumbar puncture. We made the mistake of Googling that one and, I have to say, it scared us both.

The lesson there, according to the local nurse I spoke to, is to NOT Google anything. I’m only going to freak myself out. Too fricken late, I say.

So Vaun is staying over tonight, and as much as I want to sleep in the tent which is still in the backyard, Vaun says no. All up we have spent six nights in there, but not lately. Vaun tells me that I need rest if I’m going to get through the treatment and get better. Besides, the nights are getting cooler and it’s not worth risking the flu.

I guess I can’t always get what I want after all, not when he is thinking about my health.

I kiss him and step into Mrs Holmes class where she shuts the door on Vaun. It’s a little bit funny but Mrs. Holmes gives me a stern looks so I straighten my face and sit down. My allocated desk buddy smells of garlic every Tuesday and I know April and I will be laughing about that at lunch.

The second bell comes quicker than I previously thought after writing two and a half pages about books versus movies, blah, blah, blah. Unfortunately, the blah, blah, blah lead us to an assignment due next week. For now, though, I’m starving and heading for the cafeteria where I told Vaun and April I would meet them. I get as far as the gym before a guy comes out, glances at me and knocks my hat off before running off.

I’m frozen and shocked. A touch embarrassed too ... okay, I’m totally humiliated. I haven’t taken my hat off for anyone other than family and Vaun. Now I feel exposed and boys are flocking from the gym when I gather my senses and my hat and run for the bathroom with disgusting, vain tears in my eyes. I can hear a guy’s voice calling out to me, but it’s not Vaun and I want to get as far away as I can.

It’s ridiculous. I’m ridiculous. But the tears come anyway as I slam the stall door behind me and slump onto the disgusting floor, hugging my knees wishing Vaun was here.

That’s when my phone vibrates in my pocket and I’m relieved to see it’s him. I bring his voice to my ear; “Where are you? Are you okay?”

I try not to sob. I try to sniffle because he’s already worried. He must have heard about it from one of the boys who saw me. Maybe it was the one who called out to me. I don’t know. “I’m okay,” I say feeling anything but.

“Where are you?”

“I’m in the bathrooms.”

“Which ones?”

“The ones closest to the gymnasium.”

“I’m coming, Blue. You hear me? I’m coming. Stay on the line, baby.”

“Mm-hm.” I can hear him panting.

“You still there baby? I’m almost there.” I hear someone call ‘Hey’ and a grunt from him.

“Yeah.” And then I hear the door bang open.

“I’m here, Blue. I’m here,” he croaks and slides onto the ground at my stall and looks under. “Hey, you okay? Are you hurt?”

I stand, sliding up the stall door. “Vaun.”

“Fuck.” He stands too, allowing me to open the door. He scoops me into his arms and holds me tight, pulling me from the stall and to the sinks. Then he’s holding my face and studying me, I think for marks or something. “Why didn’t you call? Fuck. I should have been there. I’m so sorry, baby.”

I shake my head and sniffle. I feel like an idiot and a heel for my reactions and what they are doing to him, but I can’t help it. “I’m okay. Really. I was shocked and embarrassed.”

“I’m gonna kill Baker.”

“No. He’s an asshole and not worth your time. I overreacted is all.” I don’t even know who Baker is.

He swipes my face and kisses my cheek, pulling me into his arms as April and Carter come flying in.

“You okay?” April asks, puffing as she rubs my back.

I pull from Vaun, nod and hug her. “I overreacted.”

“I’m gonna overreact all over Baker’s balls when I get hold of him. He’s gonna wish he was born with none,” April declares.

I splutter a laugh and wipe my nose because I’m pretty sure snot just came out. Carter pats my back and smiles. He’s always quiet, but I can see the struggle in his eyes and I kiss his cheek. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”

He nods, “That’s ‘cause you’re awesome.”

Vaun then pulls me back into his protective arms. “Come on. Wash your face and come get something to eat. You need to eat.”

“I need to piss first.” Carter says as he looks at the stall I came from. “Jeez, why are the gals room so much nicer than the boys. I feel like we are being gypped for being born with a dick.”

I laugh again as Carter closes the door on the stall and we hear a moan as he pees. I know he’s still doing it tough, holding his feelings in, but this is
his
coping mechanism.

He comes out and washes his hands, smelling the soap and shaking his head. “That’s it, April. When you go to the bathroom from now on you scope it out, and if it’s empty, I’m coming in.”

“Whatever, you pussy,” she replies.

“You ready?” Vaun asks me. I nod and he nods to April, who comes to my side while Vaun and Carter leave. Carter continues complaining about the hygiene levels in the boy’s bathrooms until they’re out the door.

April grabs some paper towel and runs the water, dampening the towel. I wash my face and look at myself in the mirrors. I still look like a druggy, my eyes are still a little red and skin a tad blotchy.

“You look fine. Come on, before Vaun has a stroke worrying about you.”