Never Forget (Memories) (14 page)

He clears his throat and I shrug. ''Dunno. Maybe Grammy mistook the vodka for oil when she cooked this morning.''

''Yeah, maybe.''

We eat in silence but I'm aware of how close we are. I can feel the heat emanating from his body and I lean into his arm. He puts it round my waist and still, we don't say a word until we finish eating.

''Better?'' His lips brush my forehead as he speaks.

''Much,'' I reply, just as quiet.

''Good.'' He takes the rubbish and puts it in one of the bins nearby. I know, bins on a beach.

''I'm gonna take a walk.'' I stand and slip my shoes off. ''I haven't been here in so long.''

''Hang on then.'' He slides his trainers off and we leave them by the rocks.

Sand flows around my feet as I walk up to the water. Tiny waves are licking at the beach tentatively as if they're deciding whether or not to climb up it.

I relate to them as my fingers brush Alec's hand in a perpetual state of indecision.

''You're doing it again,'' he comments softly.

''Doing what?'' I look at him.

''You have these moments where you kinda drift off.. Like you're getting lost inside your own head.'' He stops in front of me and his fingers run through my hair on both sides of my head. ''Where do you go?''

''I don't know.'' I rest my hand on his arm. ''Sometimes, I'm just remembering. Other times I'm trying to make sense of my thoughts.''

''Which was it this time?''

Blue grey eyes sear into mine, holding me trapped. ''Making sense of my thoughts. Sometimes.. Sometimes I just wish they'd go away.''

''I can help with that,'' he whispers and his lips touch mine gently.

My heart stops and my eyes close with the second brush of his mouth. My hands slide up his arms to his shoulders and he steps closer, pressing our bodies together. His lips are warm and soft against mine, moving in a comforting caress. The ends of his hair at his collar tickle my fingers as they touch his neck. His hands slip to the small of my back, his touch searing even through the material separating us.

Him. Alec. Nothing, no one, nowhere. Thoughts are irrelevant compared to this touch, this reality.

''I'm sorry,'' he whispers in my ear. ''I just.. I couldn't help myself.''

''Don't be sorry,'' I say, leaning my forehead against his shoulder. ''Don't be sorry. Alec..''

''I know, Princess,'' he says sadly. ''I know. Nothing else. For now.'' 

~

The blue of Alec's shirt makes the blue in his eyes stand out even more. They're like a beacon to me, demanding my attention.

"I don't know if I've met anyone like you." Alec twirls the straw between his fingers and looks at me intently.

"Of course you haven't." I smirk. "I'm one of a kind."

"You're right about that," he says softly and I meet his eyes for a second.

"When will Jen be here?" I say, looking towards the door.

I need to break eye contact. If I look at him for much longer I'll jump over the damn table between us and kiss him senseless.

I flush at my own thoughts. Sheesh. Can I get some ice with this drink?

One kiss today is enough.

"She said ten minutes twenty minutes ago," he replies. "So you're looking at another ten."

I inwardly groan. "Great," I mutter.

"Anyone would think you're still not totally comfortable being alone with me, despite the fact we've just spent the day together. Closely, too," Alec says casually, finishing the rest of his drink. "Another?"

He picks up my empty glass and heads towards the bar. I can't help but watch him go.

And admire his behind.

A lot.

Nice.

He comes back a few minutes later, a rose wine in one hand and a pint in the other.

"What makes you think I still don't wanna be alone with you?" I ask, taking my drink from him. My fingers graze his as he hands it over.

"The way you look for Jen after oh, twenty minutes." He raises an eyebrow.

"That's so not true." I protest and shake my head.

"Isn't it?"

"Nope." I sip my drink and the alcohol settles warmly in my stomach.

God knows I can do with some Dutch courage, the way this conversation is heading. I know I've shown him some trust - more than I wanted to. But there's only so far I can go in one day.

"Then why are you always so anxious for her to get here? You were fine earlier," he questions.

"I like spending time with her. It's been a long time." And I'm scared if I'm alone with you for much longer I'll completely break.

"I'm not gonna jump the table and kiss you, Lexy." He smiles slowly and it makes him even sexier. "Unless you want me to, of course."

Oh, but isn't that the problem?

"Not at all," I lie smoothly. "You're fine where you are, Alec."

He quirks an eyebrow and lifts his drink as I see Jen skip into the pub.

"Happy birthdaaay beautifullllll!" She sings and wraps her arms around me. I return her hug, ignoring the looks from people around us.

"Happy birthday, Lexy." Carl winks at me and kisses my cheek.

"Thanks, guys." I beam up at them and Jen sends Carl to the bar as she takes a seat next to me.

"Ready to party on?" She nudges me.

"Oh hell yeah!" I laugh.

Carl approaches the table carrying a tray with four shots and four drinks.

"Know the bartender." He winks at me.

"Oh hell no," Alec bursts, eyeing the shots. "No way."

I pick up one and sniff it. The strong smell of liquorice embraces me and I smirk at him.

"Not afraid of a little Sambuca, are you, Alec?" I taunt him.

"That stuff is lethal." He frowns.

"Aw, can't likkle baby Alec handle his 'buca?" Jen teases in a baby voice, picking up her shot glass.

"Man up, dude." Carl slugs him in the arm and hands him the shot which Alec takes, reluctantly.

"To Lexy, and finally being legal!" Carl says loudly and we all chuck the shots back.

The spirit burns the back of my throat and I click my tongue.

Alec screws his face up and shakes his head as he gets an all over body shiver. He takes a long slug of his pint and I laugh.

He narrows his eyes at me playfully. "Shut it, Miss Barely Legal."

"Ohhh, pulling out the big guns, are we?" I grin cheekily. "You still owe me a drinking challenge." I glance at Carl. "You both do."

Carl holds his hands up. "We do. Tomorrow night?"

"What's happening tomorrow night?" I look at everyone.

"Beach party," Jen answers.

"On the Bay?"

"Yep." She smiles at me.

I hesitate. Alec notices and takes my hand in his.

''You'll be fine.'' He looks straight into my eyes. ''I promise I won't let anyone come near you.''

I nod at him and look at both of the guys. "In that case, you're on, boys."

"Sure you can handle it?" Carl winks.

Alec makes eye contact with me again and I look into the eyes that have kept me up at night.

"I can handle anything you throw at me."

CHAPTER TWELVE

ALEXIS

Sometimes, you don't know what to expect from a day. Sometimes you wake up with a clear plan. Sometimes, a spanner gets thrown in the works so you're back to not expecting.

I definitely don't know what to expect from today.

Something has changed between me and Alec after yesterday. I don't know if it's far enough to say I'm ready to throw myself into his arms and beg for forever, but the defining line has been smudged by his kiss. Obviously smudged.

And I'm not likely to beg forever, but you get it. Whatever it is, it's got a smile on my face, despite the looming beach party. Bing is insisting on coming – of course he is – but I don't want to go. I have no doubt that if James is there and so much as looks my way he'll get another black eye, but I don't really want to go down that route.

And that's why I'm dawdling.

That's why I conveniently can't find anything to wear. It's also why my mascara has conveniently gone missing. Or if I'll be honest, it's hiding under my pillow. But no one else needs to know that.

''You don't have to go if you don't want to.'' Bing pokes his head round the door. ''Why don't we all just hang out here? Me and Dad can set up the burner outside.''

''Don't need the burner,'' I reply and sit on my bed. ''It's hot enough.''

''Then we'll just chill out on the decking.'' He shrugs. ''Really, sis, you ain't gotta go.''

''No.. I..'' I sigh. ''I want to go, but I'm worried he'll be there.''

''If he is and he so much as looks your way he'll have another black eye,'' Bing growls.

Point? Proven.

''That's exactly what I don't want to happen, Bing.''

''Pretend Alec is your boyfriend. He might as well be.''

''I'm gonna ignore that last part.'' I glance at him. ''But I doubt that'll make a difference. Guys like James.. They take what they want, whether it belongs to someone else or not. Not that my anything belongs to anyone but me.''

''Ah-huh.'' Bing nods and sits next to me. I can hear the disbelief in his tone. ''Dear sister, when will you see that something of yours does belong to someone?''

''Bing..''

''I'm just asking. I'm as thick as two wooden planks and even I can see it. Just admit it to yourself and we're cool.''

I smack him with my pillow. ''Maybe I'm not ready to totally admit it to myself, yet. I'll let you know when I am, though, so thanks for the advice, champ.'' I roll my eyes.

''Any time. You know my experience.'' He winks.

''I didn't realise your casual sex involved feelings!'' I gasp.

He scowls at me and hits me back with the pillow.

''Get ready. You'll be fine.'' Bing gets up and moves back to the door. ''You didn't see the look on Alec's face last weekend, Lexy.'' He looks at me over his shoulder, his mocha coloured eyes meeting mine. ''If you didn't need him, he would have killed that prick. I've never seen anyone so angry. Alec ain't gonna let anyone touch you other than him apart from me, Jen and Carl. Trust him.''

He disappears with his final words.

And the words are there again. Trust. Trust him. Will Alec let anyone hurt me? No, I know he won't. But it's still that word.

Why can't I still get over that word where he's concerned?

I sigh dramatically and reach under my pillow, retrieving my runaway mascara. I look at the tube and smile resolutely.

''Let's do this,'' I say to it and stop.

Am I really talking to mascara now?

Sheesh.

My door bangs open and Jen storms in.

''You would not believe the ass kicking I just got off my sister!'' She half shouts. '''Don't go and get drunk tonight. Don't forget you have to be up early, so no staying over at Carl's. I don't want you to be hungover for my big day.' Honestly, she's a fucking nightmare tonight. I am so glad to be out of that damn house. She's like one of those sniper guns, always on target with what to say to piss you off. Even Mum wants to get the frying pan out of the cupboard and knock her out until the morning. She is that bad.''

''She's just excited,'' I say, leaning over the mirror applying the mascara to my lashes.

''Excited? No, she's freaking. She's absolutely freaking out. And I'm talking a freak out of epic proportions. Like, I'm waiting for her Bridezilla horns to pop out the top of her head.'' Jen chucks herself on my bed and sighs.

''Are you breathing yet?'' I giggle and look at her through the mirror.

''Yes. Pretty much. Hey, does your Gram have any Vino around here?''

''Uh, yes. It's hidden, though.''

''Hm. No bother then.'' Jen shrugs. ''Let me guess, your brother is in the bathroom?''

''Most likely,'' I reply, returning to my make-up.

''Uggggh,'' she groans and grabs her bag, leaving the room. I hear her knock on the bathroom door.

''What?'' Bing yells.

''Get your fat ass out of the bathroom!'' Jen hollers through the door.

''Wait your turn, prawn-girl.''

''Oh, you're so original!''

I shake my head and step back. ''Bing! Stop being such a girl!''

''Alright, alright.'' He grumbles and opens the door widely. ''Happy, Jennifer?''

Jen smiles tightly. ''Yes, thank you, Samuel.''

She walks into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her, and Bing makes a gun motion at me with his hand. He cocks his wrist, blows imaginary smoke from his fingertips and saunters off down the hall. I stare after him, even now still perplexed at my brother's strange little quirks. I shake my head and blink a few times. He's weird.