Never Enough: The Vipers MC (23 page)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Jess

It was like something out of a dream. A nightmare, more like.

Watching Grayson sink the knife into Nikolai’s midsection. His eyes bulged, and he gripped Grayson’s shoulders as his body shuddered in a strange, twisted parody of orgasm. I couldn’t turn away any more than Grayson could, and the two men locked eyes in those crucial last moments.

Then, Nikolai’s breathing turned to gurgles, and he slid to the boat’s deck. His eyes didn’t seem to change when he died, I thought dimly, somewhere in the back of my mind. They were still hard and cold, and just as empty.

“Oh, God.” I started shivering and couldn’t stop. It had nothing to do with the cold.

After a moment of heavy breathing, staring at Nikolai as though daring him to move, Grayson turned and gathered me in his arms. “Oh, baby. Baby. I thought I’d lost you.” His breath was hot and so sweet on my skin. I closed my eyes, letting him envelop me. I knew how he felt. I was sure, in those last moments before the lights of the motorcycles swept over me, that I was gone forever. I was certain it was all over. I was finished. I wouldn’t see Grayson or our son again in that lifetime.

We held each other for a long time—probably longer than we should have, considering the dead men on the boat. We should have run right away. We couldn’t. We had to be together for just a little while, had to hold each other.

“I never stopped loving you,” I whispered through my tears. “Not for a minute. I thought about you every day. I dreamed about you. I wanted you, all this time.”

“Me, too. I love you so much.” He pulled back, and everything we could have said disappeared in one perfect kiss. His arms tightened, and our hearts pounded against each other’s chests. It was perfect.

Nothing perfect could last for long. “Come on, guys. We gotta get outta here.” I turned to find one of Grayson’s men, one I didn’t recognize, peering down from the upper deck. Grayson nodded.

“We can’t stick around and let the cops show up,” he muttered, taking me by the hand and leading me to the stairs. We climbed up in a hurry, then rushed off the boat and onto the back of Grayson’s bike. I was freezing, and he gave me his jacket to wear. It was different from wearing Nikolai’s. It smelled like Grayson, and I never wanted to take it off. I was sure everything that had happened would make sense eventually, one day, but at that moment it was enough to wear my love’s jacket and ride behind him as we pulled out of the harbor. We were just in time, too, as I could see blue lights flashing in the opposite direction, just coming around a bend. Somebody had heard the shots, then. We made haste in escaping.

Only we didn’t ride for long. Grayson made sure we got a safe distance from the scene before pulling over. The rest of the men stopped, too, forming a sort of protective circle around us. I saw a lot of smiles and felt a lot of relief from them. I shared their feelings, and knew I could never forget what they’d done for us.

“Why did we stop?” I asked. I had to get home. I had to hold my baby again.

“There’s a phone call you have to make, first. I promised.” I took the phone with shaking hands, dialing Cindy. She picked up on the first ring.

“Yes? What happened?” She sounded breathless.

“Cin? It’s me. I’m okay.” My friend went from breathless to hysterical, weeping on the other end of the line. Then I heard fumbling, then a very small, frightened voice.

“Mama? Is that you?”

I burst into tears, shaking. “It’s me, baby. I’m coming home.” I felt Grayson’s arms circle me, and the sound of David’s excitement rang in my ears.

***

Pulling up at the apartment building was the sweetest moment of my life. Better than my wedding day, better than the moment I first held David in my arms. Even as it happened, even in the middle of my numerous emotions, one thing rang clear: it felt like the first moment of my new life.

We walked through the main doors together, followed by Grayson’s crew. All of them wanted to hang out, decompress. I could understand that—exhausted though I was, I doubted I could sleep a wink. I understood, finally, their need to party after an exciting night like the one they’d had. There was too much adrenaline still pumping, though the effects were slowly starting to wear off. I had started to feel the pain from hitting my head, and there was pain in my arm from where Nikolai had twisted it. Nikolai the dead man. Well, he was better off where he was. Probably happier, too. I would never understand why he did what he did, not really. He had his reasons, though none of them made sense to a person whose heart hadn’t fallen apart in grief.

The moment I first saw my son, asleep on the couch, filled my heart with more joy than I thought I could stand. I didn’t want to wake him, but I couldn’t help myself. I crouched beside him, stroking his hair, needing to touch him.

His eyes fluttered open. “Mama? Am I dreaming?”

I heard chuckles all around me. “No, baby, you’re not dreaming. I’m right here.” He nearly launched himself off the couch and into my arms. I held him tight, trying not to weep but failing miserably. Cindy sat beside him, and I held her hand.

“I love you, big guy. You know that, right? I did everything I could to come home.”

“You made it, Mama. Grayson found you, didn’t he?”

“He did.” I looked up at him through my tears.

Then, a familiar face entered the room. I hadn’t thought to ask about him, so sure he was dead.

“Tony!” A fresh wave of tears flooded me. “I thought…” I couldn’t go on. It was all too much.

“What, you thought they killed me or somethin’? Don’t you know me? I ain’t that easy to get rid of, kid.” I stood, David in my arms—I didn’t think he would let go anytime soon—and wrapped one arm around Tony. He squeezed me tight.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stop ’em,” he mumbled.

“Oh, Tone, don’t say that. There was nothing you could have done.” I was just too happy to see him alive. I’d been so certain he was gone.

The rest of Grayson’s men shuffled their feet, looking around. “I guess we’d better leave you guys alone,” one of them said.

“Yeah. Come on, Tony. We’ll get you to the hospital.”

I looked up at him. “You mean you haven’t been to the hospital? What’s the matter with you? You have to get a head scan, at least! I saw how hard they hit you! Oh, Tony. I thought you had more sense than that.”

Everybody laughed as I went on, railing against him. I had to laugh, too, after a little while. How quickly I’d fallen into my old role of his know-it-all sister.

“Okay, okay. I wouldn’t go until they brought you back, if you need to know. But that’s fine. Gimme a raft of shit because I was waitin’ on you. Jeez.” He walked out with the guys, most of them still smiling. I resolved to know them all better than thank them personally for coming out to save me. But later. After I put my baby to bed and had a long talk with his daddy.

Cindy sat up with me for a long time, while David dozed on and off in my lap. He’d locked his arms around my neck, and something told me that while I wanted nothing more than to sleep in Grayson’s arms that night, my bedmate would be a much younger man. Not that I minded. I needed to be close to David just as much as he needed to cling to me.

“I can’t believe you got yourself out of that,” Cindy marveled from her curled-up position on the couch. “I would have lost my mind. Nobody would ever have found me, because I would have panicked.”

“I did what I had to do. And I wouldn’t discredit myself if I were you. You’re pretty smart. You would have figured something out. Besides…” I looked across the room to where Grayson fixed us something to eat. “I didn’t save you myself. I had a lot of help.” He met my gaze and grinned softly.

“And him? He’s…?” I nodded, leaving it at that. I couldn’t talk about Nikolai in front of my boy. I didn’t want to talk about him if I could help it. To think, Axel’s reign of terror, reaching us all those years later. The past was never really in the past, especially when dealing with an already crazy person like Nikolai.

Cindy breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad.”

“Me, too.” I never thought I would be glad for a person’s death before, but I’d never been kidnapped and nearly spirited away before. Things like that had a strange way of putting life into perspective. He was a mad dog who’d needed putting down before he hurt anybody else.

“Well, I guess I’d better go.” Cindy hauled herself off the couch, stretching. “I know you’ll need some rest, and God knows I do. Call me when you wake up, okay?”

“Will do.” I managed to get David to let go of me long enough to stand and hug my friend. “Thank you for being here with him. I know it meant a lot to have somebody he knew around him.”

“No problem. You know I love you.” Then, in a surprising move, Cindy went to Grayson. “I love you too, you big, scary biker. I don’t even know you, but I love you. Thank you for bringing her back.” She threw her arms around him, and the surprised smile on his face said a thousand words.

Then it was just the three of us. A family. I looked at him, and he looked at me, and we both looked at David. I knew, without exchanging a word with Grayson, that this was the time.

“Honey, there’s something I want to talk with you about.” I sat down on one side, and Grayson sat on the other. I noticed the distance he put between himself and David, like he didn’t want to crowd him. That single gesture meant so much to me. It told me he would always do what was best for his son, even though he might have wanted something different. He might have wanted to sit closer to him, to be near him, but he would wait for David to decide that that was what he wanted, too.

“What, Mama?” David looked at me, eyes wide. In that exact moment, I saw the man he would become. Strange, but true. That moment comes to all of us, I guess, when our children show us who they’ll be. For one breathtaking moment, he wasn’t a little boy anymore. He was a big boy, capable of understanding what I was about to say. He was capable and smart, and strong, and wise. Compassionate. Understanding of the faults of others. Probably more patient than his father or I would ever be.

“So, you remember how sometimes you would ask about your daddy. Right? Where is he, what does he do, how come he doesn’t live with us.”

“Right.” He didn’t get it yet. Well, I didn’t expect him to put it together. I mean, why would I happen to be talking about his daddy in the presence of a man who looked just like him?

“Well, here’s what happened. Your daddy and I were married, and we were very happy. But a bad man came along and tried to hurt your daddy, and I got scared. I thought it would be better if I left, because if I didn’t, the bad man would try to hurt me, too.” I looked at Grayson, and he nodded understandingly. I was so sure he would never forgive me, but he already had.

“Tony told me about it. I knew when I went in,” he said. “We can talk about it later.” I nodded. So Tony had told him, the fink. I would let him have an earful.

I turned my attention back to David, who hung on my every word. All kids want to know who their daddies are, I guessed. “So I ran away. You were in my belly then. I wanted to make sure you were safe, and I wanted to make sure Daddy was safe, too. I hope you’ll be able to understand all of this one day. It’s pretty confusing right now.”

David waited. “Who is my daddy?” he asked.

“It’s Grayson, sweetie.” I pointed to the man sitting to his right. “Grayson is your daddy. He was my husband.”

David looked at him. “You said you were Mama’s friend!” I almost burst out laughing.

Grayson’s mouth twitched, and he cleared his throat. “Well, I am your mama’s friend, David. People can be lots of things to each other. I mean, you and me, we’re already friends, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And now you know I’m your daddy, too. So we’re more than one thing.”

“I guess so.” He didn’t look like he knew what to make of the news. I had expected that. It was a lot for a kid to handle all at once.