(Never) Again (26 page)

I reached down, placing my hand under his chin and urging him to look at me.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice gruff with desire.

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

He dropped another kiss to my stomach and then unfastened the button.

I waited for the fear to consume me. But as he slid off my jeans, there was no trepidation. I wanted this. Wanted him.

I helped him with his pants then pointed to the drawer of my nightstand. Zach leaned over and opened it, then looked at me curiously.

I couldn’t help laughing. God only knew what was going through his mind at the sight of a rather large collection of condoms. “Sadie always tells me it’s best to be prepared. She gets them for free at school.”

“They must hand them out like lollipops,” he said with a sexy smirk as he positioned himself over me.

He kissed my forehead and then looked deep into my eyes. “Liz, I love you—so much.”

My heart constricted at his words. I hadn’t realized how much I missed hearing them. I skimmed my fingers down the side of his face, following the contour of his jaw. “I love you. Even when I hated you, I loved you.”

“I’m so sorry I put you through what I did. I want to make it up to you. Tell me how I can make it up to you.”

“You already have.” From the minute he popped back into my life, he had been making it up to me. Especially by being there for me through the roughest time of my life. All those nights of crying over him meant nothing when I thought about how he held me in the hospital and made me feel everything would be okay, when everything was so uncertain.

Happy tears slipped out, and Zach wiped them away with his thumb, pulling my face to his. “God, I love you,” he said just as he captured my lips.

He drew his mouth away, resting his forehead against mine and I nodded, assuring him I was ready. I barely heard the sound of the wrapper over my beating heart.

He kissed my forehead again, then my nose, as he moved his hips forward slowly. I didn’t focus on the burn and stretch. I focused on Zach’s eyes, the way they widened when he slid into me. I squeezed his shoulders tight even though his entrance was slow and gentle.

He ran a hand over my cheek, then tucked my hair behind my ear. I had loved him for so long, but in that moment I had never felt a love so consuming of my mind, body and soul.

Everything about it was perfect.

His breath tickled my ear as he leaned in close and whispered, “This time I promise. I will never let go.”

Absolute perfection.

Zach’s chest rose and fell with each sleeping breath. I stretched out beside him, taking my head from his chest and resting it on my hand.

It had taken us so long to get to this spot, and I wanted to savor it, remember every single moment leading into it, during and after. I didn’t want to sleep because I didn’t want the night to end.

He stirred beside me and squinted one eye open. “Hey,” he said, lip quirking up in that sexy way.

“Hey.”

“Why are you all the way over there?”

“Just thinking about stuff.”

He rolled on his side, mirroring me. “What kind of stuff?”

“Just stuff.”

“Is that so?” he said, reaching out and flipping me underneath him. His fingers worked at my side, tickling until I was squirming under him, laughing.

“You. I was thinking about you!” I yelled out.

“All good stuff I hope.”

I nodded, his hands stopped, and because I no longer had to resist the urge, I lifted up and kissed him.

“Mmm,” he said. “Confirmation.”

I laughed against his lips and then bit my own. I let out a deep breath. “Do you think if you hadn’t stopped calling, we’d still be together?”

Zach sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’d like to think we would’ve been, but at the same time, I wouldn’t change anything. I think it all happened the way it was supposed to.”

“You do?”

“I do. So no regrets. The past is just that. The past. You and me—we’re the future. Let’s not look back.”

He was right, to an extent. For so long I had dreamed of being in his arms like things never changed. Now I knew how silly that was. Things changed. And no matter what we did, we couldn’t go back. But why would I want to? Everything that happened had brought me to this moment, and like Zach said, I wouldn’t change a single thing.

“Nope,” I said, sitting up and crossing my legs underneath me.

“Are you going to hold it over me for the rest of our lives?”

“Of course not. It’s just that, some things in our past are worth remembering.” I stood, my eyes roaming over his chest, following his Ken doll lines right to the blanket that barely covered him. I slipped his shirt over my head, and knelt beside the bed, pulling out my Zach box.

He eyed it curiously and then a surprised smile stretched across his face as he saw the pictures.

I took the top off and placed it in front of Zach. “These memories, I’ve held on to them because I never want to forget them.”

He took the tiny bear in his hands and shook his head. “For the amount of money I spent to win you this thing, I could’ve bought you twenty of them.”

“But then it wouldn’t have been as special.” I grabbed it out of his hand and hugged it to my chest.

He reached in the box and held up the bobber. “I can’t believe you saved this.”

“It was a good day.”

“The best.”

“And that’s why I don’t want to forget the past.”

He kissed my nose and pulled back. “Okay. No forgetting.” His hand went in the box and when he pulled it out he revealed the plastic bubble. He popped the top off and took out the frog key chain, taking my hand in his. The frog swayed as he took my hand and slid it on my finger. “Lizzie, I promise to always love you. Always be there for you. And always find a way to make you laugh.”

A tear fell down my cheek and happiness overtook my face. “You remembered.”

“When it comes to you, I can’t forget anything.” His finger swiped away my tear and he leaned forward, my breath hitching at his proximity. Would I ever get used to that? “But something’s missing.”

“What do you mean?”

He reached towards my nightstand and held the note he’d written me only hours earlier. “This.” The folded piece of paper fell into the box and dark eyes looked up at me. “Now we can start working on our future.”

I jumped up, tackling him to the bed, more than ready to start today, tomorrow and the rest of time making memories together.

Mimi sat in the gazebo, a canvas in front of her and a paintbrush in her hand. The sight sent me back to high school, when Zach and I used to sit and watch as she turned a blank canvas into a beautiful landscape.

I didn’t know she still painted. It made me smile.

I got out of the car and walked up the gazebo steps. I had dropped Zach off earlier on my way to my parents’ house to see Josh.

Mimi put her paintbrush down and turned to me. If she was having a bad day, she wouldn’t know who I was. I didn’t want to confuse her any further.

“Hi. I’m Liz, Zach’s friend,” I said with a wave.

She cocked an eyebrow in my direction. “I know who you are. What, do you think I’m senile or something?”

“Not at all, Mimi. It’s good to see you again.” And it was. Though I didn’t know if she understood the magnitude of my words.

“Come sit down. I was just finishing up.”

I sat in the white wicker rocking chair beside her easel. The canvas was still white. I wondered how long she had been sitting out there. She said she was finishing up, but she hadn’t even started. I wanted to cry for all she’d lost, but I pushed it aside.

“It’s a beautiful day. A little chilly though. Zach just went in to grab my sweater,” she said and walked past me, grabbing the blank canvas. I waited for her to turn and walk out of the gazebo, but she went to the other side of her chair and picked up another canvas.

This canvas was a gorgeous landscape. It was as if she took a picture of the scene in front of her and placed it there. I was wrong. She hadn’t lost herself at all. Somewhere deep inside, she still existed.

“It is an amazing day,” I said, as she moved towards the stairs. I walked behind her, ready to help if she needed, and looked out across the lawn. My face lit up the minute I spotted him.

“Zach! Lizzie is here,” she called as she made her way towards him.

I didn’t correct her, not because I felt guilty correcting a woman who suffered from dementia, but because being called Lizzie didn’t bother me anymore.

Zach smiled as he approached and draped Mimi’s sweater over her shoulders. “Heading in?” he asked.

“It’s almost dinnertime. If I don’t get there early enough, Bertha steals all the rolls. Puts them right in her pocketbook like no one knows it’s her.”

Zach and I laughed and he slid his hand into mine. “How’s Josh?” he whispered into my ear.

“He’s doing good,” I said, and he kissed my nose.

We made sure Mimi was settled before saying our goodbyes.

Zach took my keys. “Ready to go?”

“Yup. I told Sadie and Matt we’d meet them at five.”

I leaned against the car waiting for him to unlock my door, but instead he tucked my hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. “Hey you,” he said, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me close.

“Hey yourself.”

Warm, soft lips pressed against my own and his fingers interlocked with mine.

He took out his phone, checked the time and slid it back into his pocket. “We have some time to kill.” His lips worked their way down my neck.

“No, we don’t.”

I bit down, but it was too late.

His finger brushed across my mouth. “Liar—your lip just twitched.”

“I love that you know that about me. Joe never did.”

“That’s because he was a moron. If he had opened his eyes to you for a single second—” I placed my finger on his lips.

“We might not be standing here.”

“Well then, thank God for morons,” Zach said. He scooped me up, threw me over his shoulder and spun.

An old man sitting outside on one of the benches shook his head at us and I swear I heard him mumble, “Crazy kids,” which only made me laugh harder.

“Put me down,” I said around my laughter.

My surroundings stopped spinning and Zach slowly lowered me back to the ground until I was eye to eye with him. “I’ll put you down, but—”

I kissed the words away and then when he gave me that sexy smirk of his, I finished his sentence. “But you’ll never let me go.”

“No. Never again.”

Mom and Dad, there aren’t enough words in the world to convey my gratitude. You have given me the world even when you had nothing to give. Mom, you are my best friend and your input has helped transform this book. I couldn’t have done this without you. Dad, thank you for promoting my book to anyone who will listen, and for putting my book up on every e-reader display you come across. And thank you for coming up with the original title for this book. It will always be
Displaced Hearts
to me.

Eric, you have been my constant for twelve years. Thank you for letting me read you page after page of many drafts and even though your feedback of “If I was a girl, I’m sure I would love it”, wasn’t always what I was hoping for, I still appreciated it. Thank you for being such an awesome cook and for the times you cleaned up because I was so lost in my edits. I’m sorry for ignoring you and holding my finger up while I typed a final thought. There is no one else I would want by my side.

To my agent, Brittany Booker, I always tell people you picked me up out of the slush pile reject bin because that’s exactly what you did. You were my one
yes
out of hundreds of
no’s
and I will be forever grateful. Thanks for taking a chance on me.

To Julie, my editor, thank you for loving my characters and story as much as I do, and for always being right even if I didn’t think so at first. You turned my book into something I only dreamed of.

Kelley Lynn, you were my first critique partner, and I have no idea what I did before you. You have read every single draft of this book and your insight has been invaluable. Thank you for always finding the time, for rooting for me, and for truly being a great friend.

Cassie Mae, we got on this roller coaster at about the same time. You’ve been there through all the ups and downs, and provided me with advice and constant support. You are my bestie and I love you. I can’t wait to see where this roller coaster takes us next.

Suzi Retzlaff, I have learned so much from you. You put an end to my run on sentences and prepared me for copy edits. You have offered me so much more than your awesome knowledge and I can’t thank you enough for all your support. I treasure your friendship and am looking forward to what you will teach me next.

Jenny Morris, Rachel Schieffelbein, Jessica Salyer, Leigh Covington, Jennie Bennett, Hope Roberson, Jade Hart and Lizzy Charles: you are more than CP’s and betas. You are my cheerleaders, psychiatrists, and venting board. I couldn’t have asked for a better support system. Thank you for all the laughs and the encouraging words. I love you all.

The Booker Albert team, thanks for all the retweets and Facebook shares. When I got an agent, I didn’t expect an entire agency family and am so grateful to each and every one of you.

Valerie O’Kane for reading my books before anyone else did and loving them even though they were awful.

Aunt Heather, for reading
(Never) Again
before it was
(Never) Again
and for all the kind words you had.

My Grandma, just because you’re awesome and I need everyone to know that. I love you so much.

To my family and friends, I love you all. Thanks for always being there for me.