Never a Bride (23 page)

Mirabella was sure she blushed crimson but was determined not to let his provocative words fluster her. “Nonsense. This material is very fashionable. My modiste swore to me she patterned this gown after one of Athena’s gowns.”

“Therein lies the problem, I fear. This is a Roman toga party, not Greek.”

Mirabella realized he was teasing her. She relaxed and smiled easily at him. “Not to worry, my lord. I have no doubt I’ll stay adequately covered the entire evening.”

Camden stepped closer to her and said, “You are beautiful, Mirabella. You look like a very tempting goddess tonight.”

“And you, my lord, look like an angel.”

Camden burst out with a strong laugh. “An angel? I’ve been called many things, but never has it been said that I look like a heavenly creature. I suppose I could be considered an archangel since what I’m wearing is so white.”

“It’s not your attire that makes you look like an angel to me. It’s because you have helped me in so many ways these past weeks. I am grateful.”

“You are sounding much too serious.”

“This is a very important evening for me.”

“I know, but you must have enjoyment from the evening, too.”

She smiled at him. “I will. I promise. I take it you saw no one with a scar in your nightly visits to the gentlemen’s clubs.”

“No. You must not be disheartened if you do not find the man you seek tonight, Mirabella.”

Her body tensed and her throat tightened. “I refuse to think about the possibility of that happening.”

“You know, I want very much to kiss your bare shoulder right now. Your skin is lovely and inviting. Do you think anyone would notice if I just kissed your soft skin right about there?” He bent his head toward her.

“Camden, there are people everywhere. Don’t you dare,” Mirabella said with a smile and quickly stepped away. She would have loved nothing better than to feel Camden’s warm lips on her bare skin. “My father is resting in the carriage waiting for our guests to start arriving before he enters.”

“Your father is here?”

“Yes, God bless him, he is here tonight, even if only for a short time. Papa has said that Uncle Archer will see me home.”

Camden frowned. “I wish Society would realize that chaperones are not needed for an engaged couple.”

Mirabella heard voices behind her. She took a deep breath and gave Camden a hopeful look. “Here come the first guests.”

“Good luck,” he whispered softly.

The night began with a stream of people that had no end in sight. Everyone dressed as they had been instructed, baring their right shoulder. Each toga-clad person stopped briefly to greet Mirabella before entering the gala. She didn’t look anyone in the eyes. She kept her focus on their necks.

Mirabella had no idea the neck, throat and shoulder area could look so different. She saw thin necks, fat shoulders, and bumpy-looking throats. She saw fair skin, dark skin, and spotted skin. She had even seen a couple of pock scars but no wide, raised blemishes or marks just above the collarbone on the left side of any of the necks.

Her father tired after only an hour or two and left. Camden brought her lemonade and some food, but she had very little appetite for the gorgeous dinner that had been prepared. She left her post to go to the ladies’ retiring room only once and then only after Camden promised he wouldn’t step away for anything, including a fire.

As the evening grew long, so did Mirabella’s smile. She remained at her post, watching everyone who had entered earlier in the evening begin to leave.

The candles had burned down to dry puddles. Pale shades of dawn broke the deep purple clouds of night and split the sky between twilight and dawn. Camden stepped up beside Mirabella and said, “I’ve walked the grounds. I don’t think any of the guests are still here.”

She felt rigid and was trying her best not to sound that way. “There must be someone left, a few that you missed.”

“No, Mirabella, only the staff.”

She kept her shoulders erect, although she felt the weight of an unbelievable burden pressing them down. She faced the empty ballroom and declared, “I missed him. I’m sure he was here, but somehow I missed him.”

“You couldn’t have missed him. I searched everyone, too. He was not here.”

“No,” she whispered, refusing to look at Camden, refusing to admit defeat.

“There’s one possibility I don’t think you’ve thought of.”

She turned to him in hope. “What?”

“Perhaps Sarah was delusional.”

Mirabella gasped. She didn’t know what she had expected Camden to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. “What do you mean?”

“There’s the possibility that she wanted to have a Prince Charming in her life so desperately that she made him up in her mind. Maybe there never was a man in her life.”

Mirabella wished she felt like laughing, so ludicrous was Camden’s suggestion. Sarah’s mind was not weak. “That’s the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard. She wouldn’t kill herself because of a figment of her imagination! A woman knows whether or not she is expecting a child.”

Camden touched her arm affectionately. “I’m just saying that maybe in her mind all the things she wrote in her diary were real to her, but not true to life.”

“No,” Mirabella whispered earnestly. “No, Camden. There is no way I can believe she dreamed all this. If she lived in a make-believe world I would have known it.”

“But she lived a life you didn’t know about. A life with Prince Charming.”

Mirabella’s chest felt tight and heavy. Her eyes threatened to fill with tears. She had such an overpowering sense of loss, of desperation. “Sarah was afraid to tell anyone what had happened. What you’re saying doesn’t make sense. If she were immersed in an unreal life, she would have dreamed that they lived happily ever after. She wouldn’t have ended her fairy tale saying Prince Charming wouldn’t marry her when she told him she was carrying his child.”

Camden gently took hold of Mirabella’s shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes. “I’m only trying to think of something that might help you accept the fact that you haven’t found this man, and at this point, you’re probably not going to find him.”

Mirabella tried to pull out of his arms.“Trying to make me think Sarah had somehow gone mad won’t do it.”

“You would prefer to think he was here and you just missed him?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“All right, do you want to believe he is out of Town, and that is why he didn’t come?”

She tried to break free of him once again. “No.”

“Then perhaps he’s in Town but didn’t attend because he knows you are looking for him?”

Mirabella felt she was at the breaking point. She looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Stop, Camden. I’m too weary for your logic. I’ll find him. I know I will. I must.”

“Mirabella.”

“I must, Camden.” She heard the pleading in her voice, but could do nothing about the weakness. “I gave up any chance of having a life with you to find this man. Don’t you understand that failure to find him is too great a price to pay for what I gave up?”

“Come with me, Mirabella.”

“No. I must find Uncle Archer. I haven’t seen him tonight, and I need to find him and go home.”

“I haven’t seen him tonight, but I assure you there is no one here but you and I.”

Confused, she shook her head. “He wouldn’t have left me.”

“I have walked the grounds twice already. I’m sure he must have misunderstood your father’s plans for you. I will see you home.”

Mirabella felt Camden’s warm, strong hands on her arms. His gaze searched her face and a calm reasoning came over her. “I don’t want to go home, Camden. I want to go with you somewhere we can be alone.”

Camden’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest. What did she mean she didn’t want to go home? Though she still wore her feathered mask, he searched her eyes, not wanting to misread what she had said. He wanted her. Desperately. He had wanted her from the first night he saw her when she was alone on the street, but had she meant what he was thinking?

His throat was thick and all he managed to say was, “Mirabella.”

“I know it’s not the thing a lady asks of a gentleman, especially one who has been as honorable as you.”

“No. Do not make me noble, Mirabella. I am not.”

“I know I shouldn’t ask anything more of you, but I don’t want to go home. I want you to take me to your bed and love me.”

Camden’s lower body reacted strongly to her words. He swallowed hard. What could he say? Could he deny her request because it was the right thing to do? Because Society expected that he not take a virgin to his bed, even if she was considered his fiancée, even if he loved her and wanted to marry—

Love her? Marry her? Where did those thoughts come from?

He wanted her, desired her, but did he love her?

If not, why else would he be willing to overlook her trysts with other men? If he didn’t love her, the reason she kissed other men wouldn’t matter, only that she had been ruined. But standing so close to her, looking into her eyes, feeling as he did, he realized he didn’t care how many gentlemen she had kissed or why. He wanted to be with her. She belonged to him.

“If you won’t take me away, will you hold me for a moment?”

She had misread him. “Oh, Mirabella.” He opened his arms wide, and she rushed to his chest. He squeezed her tightly to him and whispered, “My silence didn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. I do. Desperately. But you aren’t thinking rationally, so I have to.”

She buried her lips into the corded muscles of his bare neck and asked, “Why is it not rational to want to be in your arms and in your bed? I know what I feel.”

His arms stroked her back. He loved the feel of her soft breath against his cool skin. “You are overwrought and emotional right now. You’ve suffered a big loss tonight in not finding Sarah’s Prince Charming. I don’t want your desire for me to be a substitute for what didn’t happen tonight.”

She looked up and into his eyes and smiled at him. “You a substitute? Never, my lord. My devastation will be even harder to bear if you refuse me. I want you to show me how a woman pleases a man.” She pushed aside the neckline of his toga and planted a warm kiss in the hollow of his throat.

Camden sensed her power over him, and suddenly felt as if he were standing steady on water. “You test me.”

“Show me how to pleasure you,” she whispered.

“Oh, Mirabella, you make my knees weak with your pleadings. I’ve dreamed of doing just that, but I must think of what is best for you.”

“If you are worried that I will demand you marry me, I swear I won’t.”

Demand he marry her? He had just been thinking that he’d be a fool not to marry her.

“You have no need to force me to marry you, Mirabella. I don’t want you to make a hasty decision tonight and regret it later.”

“This has not been an impulsive determination, sir. I have thought a long time about this. Will you grant my wish and take me someplace where we can be together?”

Camden looked deeply into her eyes and whispered, “Yes, Mirabella. I will make you mine.”

He took her hand and they fled the Great Hall, racing down the front steps together. Camden’s mind whirled. Where could they go at this time of the early morning? He couldn’t take her to an inn or any public housing where they might be recognized. With finances so tight, he had no place of his own. There were plenty of town houses he could have borrowed from friends, but those arrangements would have needed to have been made ahead of time.

The only place to go where there would be a reasonable amount of privacy was his parents’ home. There would be no one at his house but Hudson. If Hudson should by chance see Mirabella there, he could trust his brother not to gossip, but he didn’t like the thought of Hudson knowing anything about his intimate relationship with Mirabella. Camden would have to be very careful to make sure she wasn’t seen.

Camden helped her inside his carriage and then climbed in beside her. She went immediately into his arms. He realized she was shivering. Reaching over to the opposite seat, he grabbed his great coat and wrapped it around her. He held her close to his chest and caressed her back and bare shoulder.

The carriage wheels clanked and the horses’ hooves plopped along the silent street. His own heart pumped furiously at the thought that this woman he had wanted for weeks was going to be his.

Doubts struck Camden. Did she really know what she was doing? She had asked him to take her somewhere and make love to her. The thought made him tremble. “Mirabella, say the word and I will take you to your father’s house.”

“I want to be with you.”

“It’s dawn. Your father will be worried about you.”

“My father will not be up for hours. Both he and Lily will assume the party has gone on through the morning, which is not unheard of, I believe.”

“Certainly not, but I don’t want to do anything to hurt you.”

She raised her head and pushed her mask up her forehead so she could look into his eyes. “Then don’t deny me this time with you.”

Maybe she just needed to be held and reassured that it was not the end of the world just because she hadn’t found Prince Charming. Maybe all she needed from him was comfort. Whatever she needed he wanted to provide it for her.

He wanted to tell her properly that he had fallen in love with her, and that he wanted to marry her. He wanted her to be his for a lifetime. But they could work out all those things later. Right now she wanted him and he wanted her and that was all that was important.

“I won’t deny you anything you ask.” He kissed the tip of her nose, and then pulled the mask back over her eyes. “Keep this on until we are safely inside. Should anyone see us going into my house, I wouldn’t want them to recognize you.”

She nodded.

The carriage stopped. The driver opened the door. Camden reached into the pocket of his great coat and brought out several coins. As he handed them to the driver, he said, “Forget you saw the lady.”

“What lady, sir? I ’aven’t even seen you tonight.”

Mirabella stepped out, and she and Camden hurried in the front door. The house was quiet as Camden slowly, softly closed them inside. Though dawn was on the sky, it was dark in the house. Camden pulled off his mask, then hers and laid them on the foyer table. He reached down and gave her a hard, brief kiss. She smiled at him, and Camden had no doubts they were doing the right thing.

He took her hand and led her up the stairs. At the top of the landing, Camden paused. The house was quiet and dark.

He looked down the hallway to Hudson’s room, which was opposite his. Camden tensed. Hudson’s door was open. He motioned for Mirabella to stay at the top of the stairs. He walked to his brother’s doorway and peeked inside. The room was empty. Hudson’s bed was made up.

Camden relaxed. Obviously, Hudson had found somewhere else to spend the night.

“He’s not here,” Camden said. He walked back and took Mirabella’s hand, and she willingly followed him into his room. He closed the door and threw the latch.

Camden reached for her, and she willingly went into his arms. Their lips met softly at first but the longing and the passion between them was too intense to go softly or slowly. He kissed her madly, and Mirabella matched his fierce hunger.

He shoved his hands between them and found her unbound breasts. He cupped, lifted and squeezed them firmly, feeding his passion. In a moment, her nipples hardened. Through the thin silky material, he found the tight buds and gently tugged on them. It aroused him as they grew harder under his touch.

The soft sweet sound of desire she whispered into his mouth elated him and quickened his own enjoyment.

“Does that pleasure you, Mirabella?” he mumbled against her lips, not wanting to stop kissing even to speak loving words.

“Oh, greatly, sir. Does it gratify you?”

“Exceedingly so.”

He continued to massage her breasts. He loved the feel of the weight of them in his hands. Her breasts were not so large that they were too soft and not so small as to be too firm. She was the perfect size to build a burning heat in his loins and a longing in his heart to possess her.

“My sweet Mirabella. There is so much to teach you and so little time. Forgive me if I rush your pleasure today.”

He grabbed hold of the large stone on her shoulder and pulled the toga down her arm, leaving the flimsy material to glide down her legs and puddle at her feet. He ran the palms of his hands and tips of his fingers over her naked shoulders and breasts and back up again as he caressed her beauty with his gaze.

Huskily he said, “I want your hair down.”

“As you wish.” Mirabella reached up and tore the crown of leaves off her head and threw it to the floor.

Camden slid his fingers into her hair and shook it free of the pins that held it up. He crushed its lush length into his palms before letting it tumble to her shoulders. It was so long it covered her beautiful breasts, so he quickly pushed her hair to her back.

His body ached and throbbed to possess her immediately, but he was determined to take their loving slower than his body wanted him to and please both of them this first time.

“You’re so beautiful I don’t want anything hiding your loveliness from me. I don’t want to stop looking at you or touching you.”

“I want to look at you, too.” Mirabella reached up and placed her open hand on his bare shoulder. “I want to feel your skin against mine,” she whispered as she pressed her lips to his.

Camden reached up and grabbed hold of the black stone that held his toga on his shoulder and jerked it, breaking the threads that held the toga together. The white muslin dropped like an unwanted garment to the floor and covered Mirabella’s toga.

He reached around her and untied the strings at her back and her thin drawers fell to the floor. Mirabella stepped out of them. Camden pulled on the strings at the front of his undergarment and sent it the way of Mirabella’s. They stood there unselfconsciously looking at each other for a moment.

She smiled at him. “You are magnificent. Your body looks just like paintings of Adonis.”

Camden’s lower body grew harder at her praise, but he humbly said, “You have always given me more credit than I deserve.”

Mirabella lowered her gaze to view that part of him men were usually most proud of, and said, “This time it is truly deserving, my lord.”

She reached out and let her fingertips glide softly, tantalizingly slowly over his chest. He trembled with need, willing her to abandon any thoughts of shyness and allow her hands to go lower and touch his hardness, feel its thickness and weight. Her fingertips tripped down his midriff, along his stomach, feeling like no more than a feather stroking his burning need.

Camden threw his head back in indulgence. His muscles contracted in sweet pain. His eyes closed with wanting. Her gossamer-light caress teased him and offered no mercy to the pure torment she inflicted on him.

She must have read his mind. Her hand closed around him and his breath stalled in his chest and his knees went weak. He knew he would be lost if he did not stop her soon.

“I did not expect it to be so thick and stiff, my lord.”

He moaned softly. And she thought she did not know how to pleasure a man.

“You may not appreciate that at first, my lady, but I promise you, you will in due course.”

With no thought of the pillows or coverlet, and before he was past his own endurance, he reached down, picked her up and laid her on top of the bed. He spread the length of his taut body on top of hers, and groaned from the sheer thrill of having her beneath him.

Camden wanted desperately to spread her legs immediately and enter her, but he couldn’t move. If he did, he would surely spill his seed before he had given her what she wanted, what he promised. He had no desire to leave her wanting their first time together.

Pale morning light streamed in through a crack in the dark draperies, bathing the room in a soft glow. He looked down into her beautiful green eyes and smiled.

Mirabella returned the smile and asked, “Are we waiting for something to happen?”

“Right now, I’m trying to keep something from happening.”

“What is that?”

She was too inquisitive. “I need to—rest a moment.”

She questioned him. “Are you tired already? I am not. I very much enjoyed what has happened so far.”

He smile at her. “So have I.”

She fell silent, just searching his face.

“Keep talking, Mirabella. It calms me down.”

She laughed softly and touched his cheek with her fingertips. “I do not want to talk. I want to touch you like this.”

She slid her arm between them and found him again, running her hand the length of him. She squeezed him gently.

Camden gasped with ecstasy.

“I want to kiss you deeply, my lord. Can we not continue our pleasure now?”

“Oh, yes. We can. We have to.”

He gently moved her hand up to his chest, promising himself that next time he wouldn’t be so ready to spill himself.

“You don’t like for me to touch you so?”

He swallowed hard. “I crave it, but now it’s time to move on to other things.”

“That will feel just as good?” she asked, placing her palm against the plane of his cheek.

He kissed the tip of her nose. “Most certainly.”

“I would like that.”

He bent his head and kissed that warm soft spot behind her ear. He inhaled the scent of freshly washed hair and feminine skin. With tenderness he slowly kissed his way down her neck, moving as if they had all the time in the world.

He brushed her moist lips with his, easing over them with the lightest contact. She opened her mouth and his tongue thrust in deeply as she had asked. With a loving hand, he raked his fingers down her breast, over her slim womanly hip and shapely inner thigh. He moved his hand back up and caressed the warm skin of her stomach before inching his hand lower until he found her softness. There, he cupped her gently for a moment before finding the center of her desire with his thumb. His movement was soft, circular.