Never a Bride (21 page)

“Just tell me was it more than two? More than five? More than ten?”

No matter what she said, he could not think worse of her than he already did. “It was more than one.”

“Which was more than enough to change our destiny.” He took a deep breath and backed away from her one step. “Is that why you asked all those questions about my brother’s birthmarks and scars?”

“Yes.”

She expected him to be more furious than he was. She wouldn’t have blamed him. Mirabella reached up and untied her neckcloth and placed it in her jacket pocket.

“You suspected my brother had left a lover to take care of herself?”

“Truly, I have not suspected anyone specifically, and Hudson’s name wasn’t listed on Sarah’s dance cards. But I noticed he had some kind of marking on his neck and naturally I was curious as to what it was and how it got there.”

The anger seemed to have left his voice when he said, “Not a scar, a scratch. That is very recent, I might add.”

“I was sure that would be the case.”

“There are better ways to handle this.”

“None that I could think of that wouldn’t send the miscreant into hiding.”

His gaze swept down her face and then back up to her eyes. “I’m relieved that you were not attracted to the gentlemen you kissed, but still you flaunt convention with reckless disregard.”

Mirabella waited with hope that he might say more. She wanted to hear him say her story changed everything between them and that her past didn’t matter, but he didn’t.

“Sarah was unable to help herself. I don’t know why she didn’t confide in me, or why she thought my father would throw her out on the street. He wouldn’t have. I know how high a price I have paid, and I am truly sorry for the trouble this has caused you. But I would do it again. I will continue until I find him.”

“No, Mirabella.” His tone was firm.

“Camden, I must, before he ruins some other young lady who has poor chances of making a match and is desperate for someone to love her.”

“You should have just asked everyone to bare their shoulders and been done with it.”

“Bare their shoulders?” An inspiration flashed through Mirabella’s mind so quickly she gasped. “Bare their shoulders,” she whispered again as the idea blossomed. “Yes. Oh my, Camden, I think you have something there.”

“Mirabella, I don’t know what you are thinking, but do not even think about doing it. You have done quite enough. Kissing men, dressing as a man was more than enough. I don’t believe I want to know what else you have done.”

Slightly embarrassed, she looked away from him.

He placed his fingertips under her chin and lightly pulled her face back to him. “What else
have
you done?”

“Nothing where anyone recognized me.”

“You dressed as a man before tonight?”

“No. A maid.”

“A servant! Blast it, Mirabella. I can see it’s dangerous to leave you alone.”

“I hated every moment of it and wouldn’t think of doing it again. It was truly dreadful. But, Camden, your idea is a perfect way to find him. If only I had thought of it before now. I love it.”

Mirabella threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. A long, hard kiss that took him only a second to return. His hands settled firmly on her waist and drew her close to him.

She was reluctant but finally broke away from the kiss and looked into his eyes. Shyly she said, “Thank you.”

“That was very enthusiastic gratitude. I don’t know what notion I put into your head, but don’t even think about it. This must stop. Enough games.”

“No, my lord. One more. This will do it. I know it. I’ll give a masked ball and invite everyone I can think of. No one will be allowed inside unless they wear a toga with the right shoulder bare.”

“A toga party? Mirabella, this is outrageous. I don’t see how you can pull off a big party. Where will you hold such a large undertaking? Ladies plan all year for these lavish events.”

“I don’t know where or how. I only know I can do it. I’ll pay for the Great Hall, or I’ll hold it in Hyde Park if I have to. I will stand at the entrance and greet everyone who enters and send them away if they are not properly attired.”

“I believe you would do just that.”

“I will. Camden, I know it will work. Everyone in the
ton
loves a masked ball. If that young dandy is still in Town, I will find him.”

She reached up and kissed him again. This time it was a slower, softer kiss that lingered, filling her with those wonderful sensations that only Camden could make her feel. She slid her arms around his neck and pulled him to her.

The kiss deepened and quickly turned desperate as he captured her lips with his and wouldn’t let go. His tongue explored inside her mouth with accuracy, knowing just how to bring her the utmost pleasure.

“I have no willpower against you, Mirabella,” he whispered against her lips.

“I have none against you, dear Camden. Do not resist me. No kisses have ever made me feel the way yours do. No touch has ever thrilled me like your touch.”

“If you don’t want this, Mirabella, you must stop me.”

“Why would I not want this pleasure, my lord?”

“Why not indeed,” he murmured hoarsely and pulled her into the dark shadows near the side of the house.

Camden’s arms slid around her waist, his hands slid beneath her coat and up and down her back, caressing her as his lips moved hungrily over hers. He slipped his hands lower and flattened each wide palm on her buttocks and jammed her up against the bulge in his trousers. His pelvic area started a rhythmic motion against her softness. Mirabella thrilled to this new feeling and wanted to get closer to him, so she pressed into his movements.

There was an urgency inside her that she didn’t understand. All she knew was that she didn’t want him to stop. She matched him kiss for kiss, touch for touch and movement for movement.

To hell with the other men Mirabella had kissed. She wasn’t just being a flirt or in love as he had heard was the case with Hortense. Mirabella was trying to avenge a friend and save other young ladies from Sarah’s fate. That was an honorable thing for her to do.

He ran a hand down her breast and felt only flat rough material. He quickly unfastened the buttons of the waistcoat and slid his hand to the other side of her chest before realizing her breasts were bound tightly to conceal she was a woman.

He felt he would go mad if he didn’t stroke her. He pulled the tail of her shirt out of her trousers and shoved his hands up her body, desperate to feel her bare skin in his hands. With frantic fingers, he struggled with the tight cloth until he yanked it down to her waist and freed her beautiful breasts to his touch.

Lingering kisses, loving touches or sweet words were all fine if you had the time. Camden knew they did not, and he was hurting to possess her. He had wanted her since the first night he saw her. He lifted her shirt and covered the nipple of her breast with his mouth.

A soft moan of pleasure wafted past his ear. Sucking gently, he savored the exquisite taste of her soft skin. He felt the weight of her full breast in his hand.

Mirabella moaned as he caressed her. “I don’t know why you are the only man I desire.”

Oh, she knew what to say to set him on fire.

“Let it always be so,” he answered in a breathy voice. “Don’t ever let anyone else touch you like this.”

“Never,” she answered.

His lips found hers again and his hand pressed down past her abdomen and found her soft womanly place. He caressed her there and heard his own soft sounds of desire. The trousers allowed him more freedom to touch her than he was expecting. It was like she had nothing on, and his craving shot toward the sky, making him harder, and hungrier.

He tasted the brandy on her lips and heard the uneven gasps of her breathing. She was as excited as he.

Suddenly a light came on in the window near them. Camden quickly shoved Mirabella against the wall of the house. He meant only to shield her and protect her from being seen, but pressed against her tightly as he was, he felt every inch of her body. He felt her ragged breath in his ear. He bowed his head and kissed her cheek and tasted her fear of being caught.

He was breathless. She was breathless, but he could not stop wanting her that quickly. He ached to possess her. He pressed her harder against the wall. He moaned silently to himself as he continued their pleasure. His hand continued to massage her breast. His lower body continued to press her with urgency. Mirabella truly had no idea of the power she had over him, and he had to keep it that way.

Camden heard a window slide up. Still he pressed against her, unable to control his urgings.

“Miss Bella, is that you?” came a feminine voice.

Afraid she might answer, Camden clamped his hand over Mirabella’s mouth. Still he crushed against her, glorying in the satisfying feel of her softness against him.

There was no other sound and after a few moments, Camden heard the window slide down. The light went out. He breathed an unsteady sigh of relief.

Mirabella dropped her forehead to his shoulder and took a deep breath. She kissed his neck. “That was close,” she whispered.

Camden was angry at himself for wanting her so desperately that he snubbed caution and was prepared to take her without regret. With Mirabella, he seemed to lose all control. She had told him that she was a virgin, and he believed her.

“Too close,” he whispered.

Camden pushed away from her. There was no way he could take her here and now as he desperately wanted.

In silence, Camden put his hands back under Mirabella’s shirt and helped her pull the wrappings over her breasts. It was a shame to flatten and cover them. He then helped her shove the tail of the shirt back into her trousers. She had him on the edge. Thank God he didn’t have to walk right now because he didn’t think he could.

He pulled her neckcloth from the coat pocket and wrapped it around her neck, tying it in a simple bow.

“Mirabella, I want you to give up this idea of finding this Prince Charming.”

“I started to tell you a few days ago. I wanted to, but I knew you would expect me to give up my search. Don’t ask that of me. Surely you know that after all I have sacrificed, I will not.”

“I must insist. You could be putting yourself in danger by continuing.”

“Do what you must, my lord. I cannot stop searching for the man I seek.”

She turned away and ran up the steps and into the house.

Dear Diary—

After all these years of wishing and praying for it to be so, I think I have finally met the man who will be my Prince Charming.

Dear Diary—

He noticed me again tonight. He told me how lovely I looked in my blue gown.

Dear Diary—

With all the beautiful young ladies seeking his attention, imagine how resplendent I felt tonight when Prince Charming took notice of me.

Dear Diary—

He asked me to meet him in the garden tonight. I asked him to call on me in the proper manner of a gentleman, but he said we need some time alone to get to know each other, so we must meet in secret. I trust he is right. I want to talk with Mirabella about him, but I know she will tell me not to meet him. I don‘t want to hear that, so I shall remain quiet, but exceedingly happy about my Prince Charming. He will let me know when the time is right to tell others about us.

Dear Diary—

He kissed me and touched me and did other things too intimate to write on paper—even to you. There was so much passion in him it frightened me. He promised me it wouldn’t hurt. After he finished, I swore to him it didn‘t. I know now that he will soon speak to my guardian. He must.

Mirabella slammed the diary shut. What was the use in reading Sarah’s words again to see if she had missed anything that might help identify Prince Charming? She had searched the pages tirelessly for clues before she began her quest. Nothing new was going to appear.

“Oh, Sarah, how could you have given me so little to go on?” Mirabella spoke quietly into the silence of her bedroom. “I want to find this man and see him appropriately shunned by Society. But as each day passes that I don’t find him, I fear he gets farther from my reach rather than closer.”

Oh, how she wanted to get her hands on that reprobate. He shouldn’t be allowed to roam freely to call on innocents and to lure young girls into the garden. He shouldn’t be allowed to mix in Society as if he had done nothing wrong.

Her Roman toga soiree had to produce the vile seducer. Not only was she at the end of her tether, but she feared Camden was, too. She was sure he would not accept another misstep on her part—no matter how good her reasons.

Leaving the diary on her bed, Mirabella walked to her window and pushed aside the drapery panel and looked down to the quiet street below.

An audible sigh slipped past her lips.
Camden.

Simply thinking about him brought her exquisite pleasure. She loved dreaming about his kisses and caresses. She put her fingertips to her lips and dreamed. She could feel Camden’s kiss. When she closed her eyes, she could taste him.

It had never entered her mind that she might actually fall in love with the man her father had chosen for her to marry even if he did return. What were the chances of that happening?

But she was sure of her feelings now. She was very much in love with Camden. It pained her to know he would never be able to love her. She didn’t blame him for wanting an unblemished wife who hadn’t been touched by another man. An unsoiled young lady was a titled gentleman’s greatest pride. She understood why he thought her no better than his first fiancée. To Mirabella, there was a difference between the two of them. Mirabella had not wanted or desired any of the men she had kissed. She had heard that Camden’s first fiancée had been besotted by her lover from the moment she saw him. Camden was the only man who had ever made Mirabella’s heart soar with passion and long for his touch.

Camden was angry with her for going to the gentlemen’s club, angry that she couldn’t give up her search. She’d expected he might very well show up today and tell her father the whole story and be done with her once and for all. But she couldn’t sit around waiting for that to happen.

What Mirabella had told Camden was true. She had sacrificed too much to give up without trying this one last opportunity. She had to continue with her plans to find Prince Charming.

There was no doubt Camden was attracted to her, and that he wanted to take her to his bed. She wanted that, too.

Mirabella dropped the window dressing. There was no use brooding any longer. She couldn’t undo all the things she’d done wrong. Camden would never be hers. She had accepted that the night he caught her with Mr. Farthingdale. It was time to move on.

Her next step was to convince her father to let her give the party. She had to do that right now. Most ladies who put on parties as big as she intended usually started planning the Season before. Still, Mirabella had no doubt that she could do it.

She left her room and went to her father’s door and knocked. “Papa? Are you awake?”

“Of course, come in.”

Mirabella opened the door and saw her father impeccably dressed in a starched white shirt and dark red brocade jacket. He sat in a midnight-blue striped chair, holding his accounts book. She smiled at him. “Seeing you out of bed makes me feel better than drinking an entire bottle of tonic.”

Her father closed his book and chuckled. “Silly girl. When have you ever had to take medicine? You’ve always been in perfect health.”

“Well, I can imagine what a good invigorator must do to one. Aunt Helen swears by it. She says she wouldn’t start the morning or end the evening without a dose or two of her special tonic.”

“Indeed. The kind of elixir she takes is formulated with brandy.”

“If so, only enough to keep her feeling restored.”

Mirabella bent and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I hope your accounts book shows that you have plenty of money in there.”

“We have more than enough to see you properly married, if that is your worry.”

“I’ve no fear about that, Papa.” She hesitated. “But I do have another affair that I would like to talk to you about.”

“What’s that?”

“I want to give a party.”

“Hmm.” He pretended to ponder her words. He made a grand gesture of opening the book to no specific page, placed his forefinger on it and thumbed down as if he were looking it over carefully. “I think we can handle that. How many people do you want to invite to your dinner party? Six? Twelve?”

“Over two hundred.”

He glanced up at her. “What kind of foolery is this?”

“Absolutely none, Papa.”

He raked his hand down his neatly trimmed beard. “You look serious about this.”

“I am.”

“That number is preposterous. Only titled fools and the king himself give parties that grand.”

“Nonsense. Look at it this way. Most people give a small party each Season. Because my fiancé has been away, we haven’t entertained in the past. So we will give one big party, rather than several smaller ones.”

“I don’t know what to say. You’ve taken me completely by surprise.”

Excitement at the prospect that it just might happen danced through her. “Say you’ll let me give a masked ball and invite everyone we know and some we don’t.”

“Masked ball? Do you know what you’re asking?”

“Oh, yes, of course, I know exactly what I want to do. I was awake last night planning the entire evening. I want everyone to dress in the same costume.”

“The same? What kind of masked ball is that? Everyone will look alike.”

“That’s right. I want it to be a Roman toga party, Papa. Everyone will have to wear a toga baring their right shoulder or they will not be allowed entrance to the ball. No exceptions.”

“Showing their shoulders? Whatever for?”

For me to see their necks.

“It’s something I want to do. You know that masked balls are all the rage.”

“Masked balls, yes. But baring one’s shoulders sounds positively indecent.”

“It will be perfectly acceptable if everyone does it.”

“But why do you want to hold such a large, peculiar event? Your aunt isn’t even here to help you. I’ll be of no use to you. We’ll have to rent a place to hold it, and I’m not even sure any place will be available at this late date. I could go on, but I don’t think I need to.”

Mirabella picked up the hem of her morning dress and dropped to her knees in front of him. “I’ll take care of all of those things, Papa. The magnitude of this does not daunt me.”

She took his warm hand in hers. She didn’t like the concern etched in his pale features. His frail shoulders were rigid with disquiet. She disliked worrying him even for a moment, but she had to press him on this. There was no time left to be gentle and coaxing.

“I only worry about you.”

“Don’t.” Mirabella smiled at him. “I can think of several ladies who will be delighted to help me pull this off. All I need is your permission to go ahead with my plans.”

“There’s hardly more than two weeks left of the Season. It’s much too late to plan a party this big.”

“That is why I plan to make it the first party of the post-Season. Everyone will stay in Town one extra day for it, Papa. I know they will. I’ll make it sound so exclusive and sensational that no one would dare miss it.”

He remained silent for a moment then shut his accounts book with a thud. “All right. No limits, Daughter. If you are going to do this bizarre party, make it the biggest London has seen in twenty years.”

Relief soared through Mirabella. She rose and hugged her father generously. “I will, Papa. I promise I will. Now I must get busy. I don’t have one moment to waste.”

***

Camden sat at his father’s desk and sipped a strong cup of tea. He realized he felt less pressure now that his parents had left for the country. Even though he had assured them things were going to be fine in time, they still wore long faces when they thought no one was looking.

Too, their absence left him freer to handle their business dealings without his father’s constant questions and intervention. Camden hoped to hear soon that his assets in America were sold and that his money would be available.

Regaining all the lands they had lost had been the first priority. Saving them had wiped out his savings.

His father wasn’t the first man to gamble away the family fortune. There were still many smaller debts that had to be repaid, not the least of which was a handsome dowry, but the money wasn’t available yet to do that. He would have to start making the rounds and assuring the debtors that the money would be forthcoming if they could wait a little longer. Right now, after he sent money with his father, he barely had enough for himself and Hudson to live on for the next couple of months.

Mirabella.

No matter what he had on his mind, his thoughts always came back to her. He wanted to court her properly. He wanted to give her gifts of expensive jewelry.

He chuckled ruefully to himself. He barely had enough money for flowers right now.

She had shocked the devil out of him last night. Dressed like a man! What courage.

What had stayed on his mind all night had been her admission about the young lady named Sarah. Mirabella hadn’t allowed those young men to kiss her simply because she wanted to be kissed before resigning herself to spinsterhood. She wanted to avenge her friend’s death.

Mirabella was obviously a fiercely loyal person. That was an admirable quality. Who else but Mirabella would have risked ruining her own reputation to help someone else? Who else would have thought of sticking her finger down a man’s neckcloth in search of a scar? But didn’t she know how dangerous that could be? Any one of those men could easily have forced more attention on her than she wanted.

Dressing as a man had been over the top. He chuckled again. It was a foolhardy thing to do, but she’d held her own—even when he had talked about getting under a woman’s skirts. If she had been caught inside, Camden and her father would have been thrown out of the club and never allowed back in. Mirabella would never have been able to show her face in Town again no matter how many men Camden threatened.

He admired her, though. She was brave and tenacious. He liked those qualities.

She was devoted to her father and his well-being. She spoke kindly to her staff. Oh, damn, there were so many, too many things to find attractive about Mirabella Whittingham.

Now she wanted to give this harebrained toga party. He chuckled to himself just imagining a room full of people all in togas and masks. What madness. He didn’t mind so much the thought of looking at the shoulders of beautiful women but the thoughts of looking at men baring their skin was too outrageous to contemplate. What a sight that would be.

One thing was certain, because of Mirabella, there hadn’t been a dull moment since he had arrived back in Town. He didn’t remember ever being this stimulated when he was courting Hortense. He craved Mirabella with a burning intensity that seemed to be unquenchable. When Hortense betrayed him, he had been certain he was through with love forever. Now he was beginning to wonder if that was so.

What would he do when their engagement ruse was over? He desired no lady other than Mirabella. What would Mirabella do? She could make a match with a baron or a wealthy merchant, or maybe an older titled gentleman wanting a young bride as Hortense had done.

Camden’s gut twisted at his thoughts. If he didn’t want her for his wife, why the devil did it bother him that some other man could have her? She had indicated she’d be his mistress. His lower body reacted differently from his head and his heart to that idea. Mirabella had been careless, but that didn’t mean she deserved the secluded life of a mistress. No, if he didn’t want her for a wife he would have to deny himself and leave her free to marry.

“My lord?”

Camden looked up and saw the maid standing in the doorway holding a silver tray. “Yes?”

“There have been two posts delivered to you this afternoon, sir. Shall I bring them in?”

“Yes, thank you.” She walked over, and he picked up the envelopes.

“Would you like more hot tea?”

“Not now.”