Nets and Lies (21 page)

Mom stared down at her hands. “You admitted to…” She drew in a deep breath. “You told Will you had been raped.”

Raped.
The one word cut a jagged path through the fog. Everything came flooding back to me. I shuddered.

I told Will the truth. I admitted the unbelievable and unthinkable. Coach T had raped me. His
father
had raped me.

“What about Will?” I croaked. “Has he been to see me?”

Mom bit her lip. “We haven’t talked to Will since the other night.”

The knife tore further into me, causing searing pain to radiate through my chest. It pulsed like an artery had been severed. In truth, I wished it had. A major artery meant I could hemorrhage to death. Slow and easy…and then all this pain would be over. The hellish nightmare that was my life would be no more.

“It’s going to be all right, Melanie. You are going to be all right. A doctor examined you—”

My gasp interrupted her. Thank God I had been unconscious when they did it. I couldn’t imagine having to endure the exam.

Mom chewed her lip. “In time,” she paused, “you’ll be as good as new.”

I stared at her in disbelief. How could she possibly sit there and say that? The coach who had pushed me to excel on the court, the man I had spent endless hours with in a place where I was always loved, had taken my innocence—in every sense, both literally and figuratively.

Without a word to Mom, I pressed the nurse’s button. “Yes?” a voice questioned.

“I’m in pain,” I croaked.

“I’ll be right there.”

I could feel Mom’s
concern bearing down on me. So I turned away from her.

“Melanie…”

“I don’t want to talk anymore. I’m tired. I just want to sleep.”

Before Mom could argue any further, the nurse came through the door. A part of me clapped gleefully as she inserted the needle into my IV. Within seconds, I was floating away. From the room, all my problems, from Will, and from the nightmare that had become my life.

***

When I woke again, it was dark. Dad sat beside my bed reading the newspaper. “Hey sleepy, you ready for some dinner?” he asked. He lifted the lid of the culinary delight provided by the hospital. I gagged as the smell hit my nose.

“I’m not hungry,” I murmured.

“Want me to go get you a hamburger or some chicken tenders?”

I knew I didn’t want any of it, but I also knew if I sent him on a mission, it meant I could get another shot while he was gone. I’d be out of it by the time he returned. So I nodded. “Yeah, chicken tenders sound good.”

He bent over and kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I nodded. As soon as I heard the door click behind him, I pushed the button, summoning the liquid miracle for my problems.

I woke up in a drug induced daze. I blinked several times, trying to clear my clouded eyes. I peered around the room, searching for my parents. Instead, a doctor I’d never seen before sat in the chair beside my bed. She smiled at me. “Good morning, Melanie.”

I pulled myself into a sitting position and smoothed down my wild hair. “Morning.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Dr. Leighton,” she said, offering her hand.

I warily eyed it. The Old Melanie screamed to be polite and shake it, but the New Melanie just wasn’t in the mood. “Hi,” I mumbled.

Dr. Leighton took her hand back and sat down in the chair beside the bed. “Melanie, I’m a therapist, and I’m here to talk to you about why you were hospitalized.”

“Do you honestly think I need you to talk to me about why I was hospitalized?
I’m fully aware of what happened and how my life is over.
But I remained silent. Dr. Leighton continued on, “I understand that something truly horrific has happened to you. I want you know you shouldn’t feel threatened or embarrassed to open up to me. I’m only here to help you.”

I still refused to look at her. Instead, I stared down at the hospital bracelet circling my wrist. The last thing on earth I wanted to do was talk to a therapist. Acknowledging what had happened to me was bad enough, but the thoughts of spilling my guts of every sordid detail made my skin crawl.

Dr. Leighton cleared her throat. “I know that right now, it seems too hard to talk about. But in time, you’ll see that bottling it inside isn’t going to help you.”

Ugh, I just wanted her to leave me alone. So I jerked my head up and glared at her. “So you want to help me, huh? You
understand
what happened to me?” I shook my head. “You don’t know anything about what happened to me, and you certainly don’t understand!”

Tears welled in my eyes, and I bit my lip to keep them inside. I refused to let her have my tears.

Dr. Leighton leaned forward. “Melanie, I do understand what you’re feeling. When I was twelve years old, my step-father raped me. I loved him, and I trusted him. But he shattered all of that one day when I was home sick from school. I didn’t tell anyone. For years, I allowed it to eat away at me, until he tried to rape my little sister. That’s when I told everyone what happened. My stepfather is the reason I became a therapist, and he’s the reason I understand how you feel.”

Her story, coupled with the sincerity in her eyes, was too much. Sobs overtook me. I cried and screamed and thrashed in the bed. All the things I wanted to do that night when Coach T was raping me, but I didn’t. All the things I’d done that night on my bathroom floor—the night of my breakdown.

I don’t know how long it lasted. I came back to myself in Dr. Leighton’s arms. She was tenderly stroking my hair just like my mother did. “That’s good, Melanie. That’s a good start,” she whispered into my ear.

Pulling away, I wiped my nose on the back of my hand. “You mean spazzing like that is actually good?”

She laughed. “You weren’t spazzing. You were dealing with your emotions, and that is healthy. You’re starting the road to recovery.”

“Sounds hard,” I replied.

“I won’t sugar coat it for you. It is going to be difficult. It’s going to take time to build back your trust in people—men especially.”

Will’s face flashed before my eyes. I wondered if I had the strength to fight for him—for us. Suddenly, I was exhausted. “I’m really tired right now. Can we do this some other time?”

Dr. Leighton nodded. “I’ll be back to see you in the morning. Get some rest.”

“Okay,” I replied.

Once she left the room, I buzzed for another shot.

***

I was watching
I Love Lucy
reruns when my door opened. I gasped in shock. My sister Natalie breezed through with a grin plastered on her face. “Hey, Melly!” Luke stood behind her, ducking his head.

“What are you doing home from college?” I asked.

“I drove in last night.”

“Why?”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Do I have to have a reason?”

I snorted. “Well, considering you’re at a school two hours away, I would think you’d have a reason to come home on a Monday. I mean, don’t you have class tomorrow?”

“Maybe,” she said softly.

Luke still stood in the corner. “Where’s Mom and Dad?” I asked.

Natalie didn’t answer. Instead, she glanced back at Luke. “Um, they had to take care of something.”

I leaned forward in the bed. “Why are you guys acting so weird?”

“We’re not,” Natalie argued. She bent over to dig something out of her purse. “I brought you some magazines. I thought you might be bored.” She held one of them up for me. “Look, it’s Channing Tatum.” She waggled her eyebrows at me. “Yum.”

I sighed. “Stop pretending there’s nothing wrong. I want the truth dammit!”

Before I could say anything else, Luke stepped over to my bed. I gasped. “What happened to you?”

The right side of his face was completely mangled. Angry red scratches ran down his cheek that was turning yellow and purple, and one of his eyes was blood shot.

Suddenly, I remembered what he’d said to me that day in the car—how he’d vowed if anyone said any shit about me, he’d punch his lights out. “No, Luke, please tell me you didn’t fight somebody.”

“I’m sorry, Mel. I had too.”

“But you promised me you wouldn’t!”

His brown eyes darkened with anger. “You don’t know what they said.”

“Let me guess. Mom and Dad are at the school trying to sort this mess out, aren’t they?”

He nodded.

“What’s going to happen to you?”

When Luke didn’t answer me, Natalie cleared her throat. “He’s suspended for the week, and he can’t play in next week’s games.”

I closed my eyes. Not being able to play basketball was the worst punishment anyone could have given Luke. He lived and breathed the game just like I did. But he’d risked everything to fight someone over my honor.

Once again, it was all
my
fault.

Suddenly, I was so exhausted it felt like a tremendous effort just to keep my head up. All I wanted was to sleep. I didn’t want to have to deal with anymore of my problems, and I couldn’t bear looking at Luke’s face. “Listen, it’s time for my medicine again. And it makes me sleepy, so I guess we’ll have to visit later.”

Natalie appeared stung. “But I just drove in to see you!”

“I’m sorry.”

She didn’t say anything. Instead, she grabbed her purse and dropped the magazines on my bed. “Come on Luke, we better go.”

When he started to leave, I said, “Luke, I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Mel,” he replied. His shoulders drooped in defeat as the door closed, causing my heart to ache.

Natalie breezed past me. When she got to the door, she turned around. There were tears in her eyes. “Melanie, I’m sorry about what happened. I wish I knew what to say, but I don’t.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Nat. The fact you came to see me really means a lot.”

She nodded. “You’re my little sister, and I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I whispered.

She hesitated. “Just don’t let this defeat you, okay?”

I stared at her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’re too strong of a person to let this ruin you. You’ve got too much ahead of you.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

She sighed. “I’ll be back to see you tomorrow, okay?”

I nodded. The door closed behind her, and I covered my face with my hands. I just wanted out. With trembling hands, I reached over and buzzed for the nurse.

“Yes?” asked the voice.

“I need a shot.”

“All right. Your nurse will be there in a minute.”