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Authors: Elissa Brent Weissman

BOOK: Nerd Camp
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“That's a good idea!” said Nikhil. “But it doesn't have to be Shampoo.”

“Shamu,” Wesley corrected. “May she rest in peace.”

“We could take a picture of one of us with a picture of a real celebrity,” Nikhil continued.

“Or,” said Gabe, tapping his nose, “we could take a picture we have of one of us and then photocopy it with a picture of a celebrity, and then it'll look like they're the same picture.”

“Or go to the computer lab and scan them,” said Wesley, forgetting that he was in mourning for Shamu.

“Oh, I know!” said Gabe. He remembered that C
2
had said something about being creative and making stuff they couldn't get. He realized, with a jolt of excitement, that this was the spirit of the scavenger hunt. “We could, like, get a girl counselor to put on big sunglasses and a hat and put her hand up like she doesn't want to be photographed, and then take a picture of her like that and one of us. It would totally look like we're with a celebrity.”

“Is that cheating?” asked Nikhil.

“I don't think so,” said Gabe. “It's like C
2
said. We should be creative.”

“He said we'd be creative on Sunday morning, to make stuff nobody could get for real,” Nikhil clarified. “First let's see if anyone in our bunk has a picture with a celebrity. That'd be easy and safe.”

“We can ask people at swimming,” said Wesley.

“Swimming!” said Nikhil with a start. “We'd better hurry up.”

In the fifteen minutes the boys had spent in the library, the weather seemed to have forgotten that it was summer. Big
blocks of clouds blanketed the sky in gray. The humid air dropped in temperature, and a rising wind cut along the top of the lake. It wasn't raining, so swim wasn't canceled, but the air was so cold that most of the kids chose to stand around on the dock wearing their towels like cloaks.

Nikhil called staying out of the water to look for dimes and celebrity photos. That meant Gabe and Wesley had to go in search of red sand and seaweed.

“You're brave,” Amanda said to Gabe when she saw that he and Wesley were going in. Her towel was wrapped tightly around her whole body and head, so that only her face was visible.

Gabe rolled his eyes. “I hope we find this stuff quickly,” he said to Wesley. He put on his prescription goggles.

“Me squared,” said Wesley. He fastened his nose plug.

The two of them jumped off the dock.

“Yeeow!” shouted Wesley. “It's as cold as an ice age in here.”

“That's a simile!” Gabe said. “We can use it for our list.”

“Okay,” said Wesley with a shiver. “Now let's get the other things and get out!”

Gabe dove deep underwater and looked for red sand
and seaweed. After a few minutes, he changed his goal to finding any color sand and any weed. He swam out to the floating dock. He swam back to the shore, where the water was lapping loudly against the rocks. But the floor of the lake had only mud, and the water was devoid of plant matter.

After ten minutes, the boys climbed back onto the dock and huddled in their towels. They didn't have any red sand or seaweed, only goosebumps and blue lips. They hurried over to Nikhil, who was standing where the dock met the shore.

“Did you find someone with a celebrity photo?” Gabe asked.

Nikhil shook his head.

“A 1996 dime?” asked Wesley.

Nikhil shook his head again.

And I thought we'd be done with our list by dinnertime today
, Gabe thought. He had daydreamed about reporting to C
2
that there was nothing on their list they couldn't find—because they had it all already! Then C
2
would congratulate them and ask them to help him find a few items from his own list and, while he was at it, invite them to spend recess
with him and his friends. Then Gabe would fill up the left column of his logic proof with all the cool stuff they did, and Modus Tollens would prove that he was not really a nerd.

Now Gabe felt stupid for even having imagined that. They only had three of their seven items, and it looked like the odds of finding the others were slim.

Jenny Chin, wearing her towel like a long, formfitting dress, waddled over to the boys and tapped Gabe on the shoulder. “I shouldn't even be talking to you because you're on Green and you're the enemy. But my brother told me to tell you that he wants to talk to you tonight when he comes around.”

Instead of feeling elated at C
2
's wanting to talk to him, Gabe felt miserable. There went their chance at not talking to C
2
until the next night, when they might have figured out how to get some of their missing items. “How come?” he asked.

Jenny shrugged and waddled away.

“He's not coming around until after activities,” Gabe said in an effort to reassure his bunkmates and himself. “Let's try to at least get one more thing by then.”

Problem: Am I a nerd who only has nerdy adventures?

Hypothesis: No.

Proof:

THINGS I CAN TELL ZACK
(I am not a nerd.)

THINGS I CAN'T TELL ZACK
(I am a nerd.)

1. I'm going to sleepaway camp for six weeks!

1. It is the Summer Center for Gifted Enrichment.

2. My bunkmates are really cool, and we became friends right away!

2. They like learning digits of
π
.

3. The food is bad, just like at camps in
books and
movies!

3. We fixed it with lemon juice to kill the bacteria.

4. I'm being stalked by an annoying girl!

4. She is in my Logical Reasoning and Poetry Writing classes.

5. I creamed Amanda in a sing-off!

5. We sang all the countries of the world.

6. We put music and sports pictures on our walls.

6. They are of Beethoven and the rules of badminton.

7. Wesley says amazing things in his sleep!

7. He solves math problems.

7a. and brainteasers.

8. I tried some cool hairstyles that lots of girls said looked cute.

8. One is named for Julius Caesar.

9. Vampire lice are sucking the blood out of people's heads!

9. We learned all about the Pediculus humanus capitis and their life cycle.

10. I discovered a top secret operation!

10. It was an operation to study the science of lice.

11. I hung out with the coolest guy at camp!

11. His nickname is C
2
, and he is so smart, he skipped two grades.

12. Color War broke with aliens landing in the middle of the night!

12. Our algorithm was off by a few days.

13. Green won 90 points in field day!

13. A rocket crashed into the water- balloon toss because the teacher added too much calcium carbide.

14. We got three of our scavenger hunt items.

14. They are a simile, a metaphor, and a word from the dictionary.

Chapter 21
THE FIRST BIT OF LUCK

Their first piece of good luck happened during dinner (hot dogs with color-coded toppings: mustard, ketchup, relish, and dyed-blue sauerkraut). Word spread that one of the Red team members had an extra 1996 dime and that he would sell it to another team for the right price. Gabe and his bunkmates went over to his table.

“Yeah, I've got a 1996 dime. What's it worth?” the Red team kid asked.

“It's a dime,” said Wesley. “So it's worth ten cents.” He laughed.

The boy rolled his eyes. “What's it worth to
you
? I'm not selling it for ten cents.”

“A pack of Twizzlers?” Gabe asked.

The boy considered. “I heard you guys got the dictionary word already. Twizzlers, the dictionary word, and a metaphor, and you've got a deal.”

“No way!” said Nikhil. “We're not trading two items for one
and
giving you Twizzlers.”

“Yeah,” said Wesley. “Forget it.” He stood up to walk away.

“All right,” said the Red kid. “Just the dictionary word and the metaphor, then.”

Gabe narrowed his eyes. The dictionary word could be looked up easily, so Red was bound to find it whether they gave it to them or not. But a metaphor was harder—even some of the people in Poetry Writing had trouble writing metaphors, and the one Gabe had come up with, “The atmosphere blankets the earth,” was too good to just give away. “Just the dictionary word,” he said firmly. “You have to find your own metaphor.”

The boy chewed on this along with his ketchup-covered hot dog. “I'm going to check to make sure it's the right word,” he said between bites.

Gabe tried not to smile. If the Red team looked up the word to check it, it would be the same as looking up the word
to find it. He glanced at his bunkmates and saw that they were thinking the same thing. “It'll be the right word,” he promised. “Deal?”

They went back to their table with one more item from their list complete.

Chapter 22
THE SECOND BIT OF LUCK

Gabe would have been satisfied with only having the four successes to report to C
2
. But instead of homework and activities, the whole camp was going to the theater to compete in Color War
Jeopardy!
And that was when they had their second bit of luck—and a surprise that was just as exciting as when Color War broke.

Following the counselors, the campers marched into the theater and filed into seats. Streamers of different colors were strung between the seats to demarcate where each team was meant to sit. The curtain was drawn across the stage.

Once everyone was seated, the counselors ran up onto the stage in front of the curtain.

“Is everyone ready for
Jeopardy!
?” one of them shouted.

Everyone nodded. A few people clapped. One kid in the back said, “Yeah!”

The counselor put her hands on her hips. “I can't hear you!” she yelled. “I
said
, IS EVERYONE READY FOR
JEOPARDY!
?”

This time, everyone clapped and whistled and stomped and roared.

“That's more like it!” she cried. “Here we go!”

The
Jeopardy!
theme song came blasting over the speakers as the curtain opened. Everyone sang along and then broke into applause again. It was a real
Jeopardy!
set—podiums, buzzers, a tower of blue screens, and all!

The theme song ended, and the camp director's voice took its place. “Welcome to SCGE Color War
Jeopardy!
Here's your host, Alex Trebek!”

And then the most incredible thing happened. Alex Trebek came walking out onto the stage. The whole theater erupted into cheers.

“That's Alex Trebek!” Gabe screamed. “The real guy from TV!”

“Maybe it just looks like him,” said Nikhil, but his voice betrayed his excitement.

“No, that's Alex Trebek!” squealed Wesley. “Do you see him? That's really him.”

Gabe had heard that once or twice in the past, a celebrity showed up to break Color War. But Color War had already broken. Having the actual host of
Jeopardy!
for their game was an amazing bonus.

With such large teams, each person only got to stand at the podium and attempt to answer one question per round. Green Nation did well until Double
Jeopardy!
, when a whole string of Red players knew U.S. presidents the way Gabe and his bunkmates knew digits of Pi.

For Final
Jeopardy!
, each team was allowed to come up with an answer as a group. The category “Native Species” had Green confident enough to wager more than half of their points. If they got it right and Red got it wrong, they could move up to first place.

The whole theater was silent as Alex read the clue.

“Native to this region but rarely seen at Summer Center, this harmless snake has red blotches and a name that belongs in your breakfast cereal.”

The clue was accompanied by a picture of a long, tan snake with big red blotches. Each blotch was outlined in black, like it came right out of a coloring book. Even though the clue said the snake was harmless, some people
couldn't help but gasp at the sight of the photo.

The Green team, bunched up and anxious, whispered frantically while the
Jeopardy!
theme song played.

“Is that a garter snake?”

“No, those are brown.”

“I held a boa constrictor once.”

“Don't you know all about snakes?”

“No, I know all about lizards.”

“Quiet!” said C
2
. “Does anyone know the answer for sure?”

No one spoke.

“What about that breakfast cereal thing,” said Gabe.

“What does that mean?”

“This harmless snake has a name that belongs in your breakfast cereal,” Wesley read.

“Raisin snake?” guessed one girl. “A lot of cereals have raisins.”

“Lemon juice snake, if it might have bacteria,” mumbled Nikhil.

“Spoon snake!” said someone else. “You eat cereal with a spoon!”

What is it?
Gabe thought.
What is it?

The song was coming to a close, and the team had to write
down an answer. In the last few seconds, another girl said, “Do raisin snake. Those red spots can kind of look like raisins.”

C
2
scribbled down “What is Raisin Snake?” just as the music hit its final note. Everyone waited for the correct answer, but only the Blue team looked happy.

The Yellow team wrongly guessed King Cobra, and their score dropped dramatically. Gabe wasn't too surprised when Raisin Snake was wrong too. Now they had to hope Blue and Red got it wrong and had wagered a lot. Blue's answer was Red Spotted Snake, which was also wrong—but they were still happy, because they'd wagered nothing. That left them in second place behind Red.

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