Nerd Camp (13 page)

“Four in the morning,” Gabe answered.

“It's the police,” someone said with certainty. “Ninety-four percent of jailbreaks take place between three and five in the morning.”

Gabe shuddered. “Nikhil,” he whispered. “Nikhil!”

“Mmm,” said Nikhil.

“Wake up.” Gabe sat up and nudged his head into Wesley's mattress. “Wesley, wake up.”

“What is it?” mumbled Nikhil.

The light swept by the windows again, brighter this time,
and for longer. As it passed, the faint hum escalated into a loud whir, like someone had now turned up the air conditioner to full blast. Nikhil opened his eyes wide. “What is it?” he asked again, alert now.

“It's the police,” answered someone who hadn't spoken before. “They're looking for an escaped convict.”

“Why would a convict need to know the volume of a sphere?” said Wesley, who wasn't completely awake yet.

Nikhil was sitting straight up and gripping the edge of the bed tightly with both hands. “It's probably just people with flashlights,” he said. “But I'm going to wake up David. Just to be safe.”

The light came by, illuminating the room enough so that Nikhil didn't need a flashlight as he walked down the length of the bunk to the front, where the counselor's bed was. Despite the thundering whir, which was now punctuated with beeps, Nikhil's gasp was audible through the whole cabin. “David's not in his bed!” he shouted.

Now everyone began talking at once.

“Where is he?”

“They got him!”

“No, he's hiding.”

“Our counselor's a convict!”

“Someone go outside and see what's going on,” said Gabe.

Everyone became silent, too scared to go.

Wesley freed himself from his sleeping bag and climbed down from his bed. “We'll do it,” he said.

“We?” asked Gabe.

“Yeah, us,” said Wesley. “Me, you, and Nikhil. We're fearless. Come on.”

Gabe swallowed hard. Then he stood up and slipped his feet into his sandals. The two of them walked through the cabin, past the two sections of bunks, from which boys looked at them with fear, admiration, and relief that someone else had volunteered. They met Nikhil at the front of the cabin and stood in silence, each wordlessly urging the others to open the door.

“On three,” said Gabe. “One …”

“Two …,” said Nikhil.

“Three!” said Wesley.

They pulled open the door, and the whole cabin was drenched in light. Gabe shaded his eyes with his hand and squinted into the brightness. There were groups of campers in front of every cabin, all wearing their pajamas and in some combination of grogginess, confusion, and panic. The
whirring and beeping became more intense, and the bright light suddenly went dead, revealing in the sky a flat, circular object, like an enormous hockey puck with three spotlights sticking out the bottom.

“Whoa,” Nikhil said.

“Whoa squared,” said Gabe. “It's a UFO.”

A cold breeze blew through the camp, and Gabe felt the hairs on his arms stand up. It was cold in the middle of the night, and he hadn't thought to put on his sweatshirt.

The rest of the boys from their cabin came trickling out, as did campers from all the other cabins. Everyone stared up at the flashing lights. Even though the counselors weren't around to tell campers what to do, no one moved from their posts in front of their cabins, which left all of Shady Field clear for a UFO landing. The campers became silent as the disk descended, slowly, easily, until it gracefully touched down in the center of the field. The field lights came on, and a door opened on one side of the ship. Out came a creature wearing a reflective silver suit.

“Aliens,” whispered Wesley.

But as the creature hoisted itself up to stand on the top of the spaceship, someone else had a different explanation.

“That's my Rocket Science teacher!” a girl shouted.

Gabe wiped his glasses on his shirt and put them back on. He had no idea what was going on, but he didn't want to miss one detail.

The speakers around the field crackled with feedback, and all the kids covered their ears. The feedback was then replaced by noise, as though someone was speaking but in beeps:
Beep! Beep beep-beep beep
. “Greetings, campers of SCGE,” a robotic voice translated.

A cheer broke out on the side of the field where the older kids' bunks were. Gabe looked around at his bunkmates, and he was relieved to see they were all as confused but enthralled as he was.

Beep-beep-beep. BEEP! Beepbeepbeep.
“We come from a faraway solar system. Your camp is known throughout our galaxy for having intelligent hu-man entities.”

This time, more people cheered, including Wesley and some of the other boys from Gabe's bunk.

Beeeeeeeeeeep.
“We cannot have a group of hu-mans who are smarter than us alien beings.”
Beep beep.
“We tried to destroy you with head lice, but it didn't work.”

Everyone laughed and cheered, including the few people who were still wearing bandannas, even to sleep.

Beep-beep. Beep.
“So we have captured your leaders—you call them counselors.”

Nikhil covered his mouth with his hand.

B-beep-beep-BEEP-beep beep.
“We have altered their brain waves. Now they are leaders of different nations. Each nation is a color.”

Gabe smiled and felt his heart beat faster. He was starting to catch on.

Beep beeeep-beep beep beep beep. Beep. Beep beep b-beep.
“The nations will war against one another. Once you intelligent hu-man entities have destroyed one another, we alien beings can take over the universe.”

The camp erupted into cheers. A chant broke out from the upper cabins and spread until everyone was chanting together: “Co-lor War! Co-lor War!”

Gabe shouted along with the crowd. This was the craziest, most utterly awesome thing he had ever seen. This totally topped all the stories he'd heard about how Color War had broken in past years. What could possibly be better than a fully functioning flying saucer operated by the Rocket Science teacher?

BEEP BEEP BEEP!
came the alien language over the speakers. “Here are your counselors.”

“Katie White. Bunk 2A. Blue Nation.”

Amanda's counselor came running out of the spaceship while all her campers shrieked and applauded. She was wearing a reflective suit that was neon blue. In one hand she waved a large neon blue flag, and in the other she carried a blue bag. When she reached her girls, she reached into the bag and started throwing blue T-shirts to them.

Next up was Francesca, the counselor who'd helped Gabe with his hair. She was dressed head to toe in yellow, and her campers shrieked as she distributed yellow T-shirts and waved the Yellow Nation flag.

Beep-BEEP-beep. Beep.
“David Kilpatrick. Bunk 2B. Green Nation.”

Gabe threw his arms in the air and jumped up and down along with the rest of his bunk as David burst out of the spaceship and ran toward them, decked out in green. When Gabe got his neon green shirt, he put it on right then, on top of his pajamas. It had a picture of a UFO beaming lights on the words
SCGE COLOR WAR 2011.

The process repeated with the remaining counselors until the entire camp was divided into four big teams: Green, Yellow, Blue, and Red. The spaceship drove off along the grass
toward the lake, while the now-warring nations shouted their colors as loudly as they could, trying to drown one another out. Once the spaceship was out of sight, a thunderous boom silenced the chants. It was coming from the lake, where green, yellow, blue, and red fireworks shot up into the dark sky.

When the fireworks ended, the counselors, shiny suits and all, led the riled-up campers back to their cabins, where they were somehow supposed to go back to sleep.

“What time is it?” asked Wesley.

Gabe checked his watch. “Four forty-five.”

“In the
morning
?” said Wesley, as though it could possibly be four forty-five in the afternoon.

“That was the coolest Color War break ever,” said Nikhil.

“So much better than the director announcing it at dinner.”

“So much better,” Gabe agreed. “At first I was really scared.”

“With the lights and the noise!” said Nikhil.

“Yeah, at four in the morning! I was like, what is going on?”

“I wasn't scared,” said Wesley.

Gabe looked at Nikhil as if to say,
Yeah, right
. “Even when we thought it was the police looking for someone who broke out of jail?”

“I didn't believe it,” said Wesley.

“But there is no escaped convict, right?” said Nikhil.

Wesley and Gabe laughed and shook their heads.

“I know. I was just making sure.”

Back in the bunk, Wesley and Gabe climbed into their beds with their green T-shirts on, but Nikhil took his off and folded it neatly. Just to be safe.

“I can't believe we have to wake up in two hours and forty minutes,” Gabe moaned.

“Maybe they'll let us sleep later,” said Nikhil.

“Maybe the first Color War challenge is to see who can sleep the latest,” said Wesley.

“I love Color War,” said Gabe. Even though he had only experienced the very beginnings of it, it was true. People would be talking about what happened tonight all day tomorrow—well, later today. It was a legitimately awesome entry for the left column of his logic proof. He could tell Zack about all of it—the flying saucer and the robot voice and the fireworks and the middle of the night, but maybe not the Rocket Science teacher part—without worrying that it made him look like a nerd. And even if there was something geeky about it, nothing Zack could say could take away how much fun this night was.

“I'm so
pumped
,” said Wesley. “There's no way I can go back to sleep.”

“Me squared,” said Nikhil.

“Me cubed,” said Gabe.

But Gabe yawned. And then Wesley yawned. And then Gabe yawned again.

And within five minutes, the citizens of the Green Nation were all sound asleep.

Problem: Am I a nerd who only has nerdy adventures?

Hypothesis: No.

Proof:

Dear Gabe,

Did color war brake yet? I bet it brakes like a suprise. what kind of games do u play in color war is it just like sports and stuf. I hope u win and beat that girl Amanda! also ur dad told me that ur mom has a suprise 4 u when she picks u up at camp. I no what it is but I won't tell u. this is probbuly my last letter 2 u cuz u r going home soon. R u ready for the wedding?

Most mornings, the siren would sound at seven thirty and the campground itself would be just waking up. The air would
be cool and moist, the grass would be damp, and the sun would duck in and out of clouds, rubbing its eyes and shaking off sleep, just like the groggy campers. But the morning after Color War broke, the siren didn't go off until ten. The sun was high and bright, the dew had dissipated, and the air was hot. The day was in full force, and that's how Gabe felt as he folded up Zack's letter, pulled on some shorts, and smoothed out his green T-shirt: refreshed and ready to tackle anything.

“If it was a regular day,” he said with his mouth full of toothpaste, “we'd be almost halfway done with our morning class already!”

“It'd be almost time for lunch,” said Wesley. He put down his toothbrush and looked at his bunkmates in the mirror. “Weird.”

“I hope breakfast is breakfast food, though,” said Nikhil. “It's the most important meal of the day.”

Breakfast wasn't just breakfast food; it was breakfast food divided by nation. There were four trays of everything: scrambled eggs dyed blue, green, and red, and regular yellow. Tater Tots dyed blue, green, red, and regular yellow. Oatmeal dyed blue, green, red, and yellow. Even the fruit was divided: strawberries for red, grapes for green, bananas for yellow, and blueberries for blue. The only things that weren't divided were the orange juice and hot chocolate,
and that was okay because orange and brown were neutral.