Authors: Marie Browne
âWhat?'
âDo you really think I am so weak-willed that I would be pushed into something I didn't want to do or thought it was a really stupid idea?' He gave me a nudge. âDo you remember that time, you wanted to move to Canada?' he asked, raising his eyebrows at me, âand the alpaca farm?'
I laughed and nodded. âYes, yes OK, I get your point.'
Geoff gave me a hug and got to his feet heading for the kettle. âOh no!'
âWhat?' His pained tone raised me from my reverie; I still think the alpaca farm would have been a good idea.
âHaven't we got any milk?' He looked around the little kitchen, searching for the cool box.
âOh yes, I forgot to tell you, it's in the fridge.'
âFridge?'
âYep, I intercepted it as it was heading for the skip.' I gave him a grin, âNot quite my first skip-diving escapade because it never reached the skip but I'm getting there.
Geoff wandered off down the boat to look at the fridge and then wandered back with a bottle of milk. âThat's a really good find.' He laughed. âHave another go and if you get really good at it maybe I won't need a job at all.'
I pulled a face at him.
âLook.' He handed me a cup of tea and sat down again. âThis was just one job, if it doesn't get any better I'll just keep applying and something will come up, I can stand it for a couple of weeks,' he stopped and took a sip of tea, âI think I'm just grumpy because I want to see this trip out, get us all back to Cambridge safely.'
I nodded and gave him a hug. That night I lay in bed and stared out of the rain-washed window into the unbroken blackness, this journey seemed much harder than the last one, the kids were older, Geoff was unhappy, we were far more broke and now I was really happy that I'd managed to get something out of a skip.
Had I been wrong? For a moment I hankered after the ice-skating cows and our big fire, then firmly made myself remember the bills, the costs, the women at school and all the other ridiculous little annoyances that living in a house brought with it. Geoff snored softly then mumbled and rolled over, I held myself very still until he settled again. When I said I wanted to get back on to a boat, had I just deluded myself? Had I wanted
Happy Go Lucky
back, with her white walls and fitted kitchen, the bath and shower and all the mod cons we had installed?
There were no answers and that night I couldn't have said what was worse, being on a boat with an unhappy family or back in a house with an unhappy me, the last thing I remember before falling asleep was bird song and a brightening sky; it had been a very long night.
The next morning, the clouds hung heavy, grey and threatening but there was no actual rain. I was woken by a short scream from Geoff as he stepped off the boat and had a rather taller step down to terra firma than he usually had. I waved him off then stood staring at
Minerva
's bow, I could see far more of it than usual, the river had risen so much it was now lapping just an inch below the moorings. As I stood there in contemplative silence, I was aware of a figure behind me and turned around to grin up at the man from the Environment Agency.
He smiled back and stepped forward to stand beside me. âGoing to be another two days at least.' He nodded downstream. âThere's no way anybody's going to get under some of the bridges that-a-way.'
âWe have to get through Denver before it closes down for repairs,' I said, âwhat do you think our chances are?'
He rubbed his chin and staring at the swirling water, thought for a moment. âNot too bad, actually,' he replied, âyou should get away from here in a couple of days and then as long as you don't hang about, you should make it to Denver in plenty of time.' He refocused on me and grinned. âLet's just hope the weather report is right and there's no more rain, eh?' Giving me a wave and ignoring my rather sickly smile he sauntered off, back to his van.
The kids and I spent that day sorting out clothes and generally tidying, Geoff came home in, if possible, an even more morose mood than the day before. Now it seemed as though his workmates were shunning him. He'd also had a row with his new boss.
âHe asked me where all my tools were,' Geoff muttered into his fourth cup of tea of the evening, âI told him they were in the car,' putting his tea down he leant back on the sofa and ran his hand over Mort's tummy, smiling distractedly as Mort wriggled ecstatically and waved his paws in the air. âHe asked me what was the point of having tools in the car and not in the workshop, I said they were more use in the car as there was more work to do at home than there was at work.' He sighed and gently disengaged Mort's teeth from around his wrist. âIt didn't go down well.'
âNo,' I murmured, âI can see that it wouldn't.'
Charlie looked up from the book she was reading. âDon't you like this new job, Geoff?' she asked.
âNo love, not really.' Geoff bent down to look for his tea.
âMaybe we should have stayed in Durham,' she muttered, glaring at me, âyou liked that job, didn't you?'
Geoff completely missed the look and wasn't really listening anyway. âYeah, maybe,' he agreed.
She gave me a triumphant smile and picking her book up stamped off up the boat to turn on the computer.
âThank you, dear,' I muttered.
âWhat?' Geoff looked at Charlie. âOh, sorry, but she does have a point.'
Oh great, now I felt really bad, another sleepless night.
By the end of the next day the kids were merely seconds away from a mutiny, they had argued and fought all day. Sam was reduced to tears when Charlie hit him for tripping over her feet. His argument that they were stuck right out across the boat did little to sway her from feeling that she was aggrieved and trodden on. She ranted that there was no space, there was no privacy and that she was cold and bored and there was nothing to do. Sam joined in and agreed with all that she said. Finally they both found something they could blame for their woes, me.
By the time Geoff staggered through the doors with his now customary sad face and had battled his way through Mort's enthusiastic greeting, both kids had sent me to Coventry and were only too pleased to list their litany of grievances to Geoff.
It was an unpleasant and silent evening, by bedtime, Sam had forgiven me and was happily talking up a storm and beating me at Connect 4 but Charlie held on to her stony silence. Geoff was being introspective, pretending to be asleep on the sofa and the puppy was hiding under the fire again. This wasn't what I'd hoped for, this wasn't what I'd imagined or remembered. Suddenly deciding that I couldn't stand it any longer, I opted to take the dog for a walk. No one said anything as I walked out.
It was actually a pleasant evening. Mortimer bounced along sniffing at every bush, marking each new scent with one of his own. I had brought along a glow-in-the-dark ball and we had great fun rolling it around the car park. We then walked up into Irthlingborough and spent a good hour wandering around the little group of shops before slowly making our way back to the boat. I didn't realise it but we'd been gone well over two hours.
As I walked into the boat, three worried faces looked up at me. âWhere have you been? You left your phone behind,' Charlie demanded, âwe were just going out in search of you.'
Sam rushed over and gave me a hug. âI didn't think you were coming back,' he muttered into my stomach.
âWhy not?' I frowned at them then grinned as poor, over-exercised, Mortimer staggered to his bed and passed out with a heavy sigh, all four tortured paws in the air.
âI don't know,' Sam moaned, âyou were gone so long, so I told Charlie that you'd run away and it was all her fault for being such a cow.'
âOK, OK, look.' I pushed Sam down onto the sofa between Charlie and Geoff. âI know it's been hard stuck here in this floating junk yard, but we should be gone soon, the river has dropped a huge amount. I checked tonight, so we can get on again.' I looked around at them. âGeoff hates his new job but it's only a job and he can get another one. Sam, you need to stop winding Charlie up and Charlie I could do with a little less anarchy.' I fixed both kids with a firm gaze. âWhen we do pull out, either tomorrow or the next day, it's just going to be you two and me.'
Both kids looked horrified.
âYep, that's right, no Dad, he's going to be at work. Charlie I need your help, I need help with the locks, I need someone to take over the driving of the boat so we can take it in turns. Sam, you can help with the locks and it will be your job to keep pestilence there under control.' I waved a hand a Mortimer who snored at me. âWe're going to have enough trouble without Geoff being there, but I'm fairly sure we can do it, but we can only do it if we all pitch in, all right?' Both kids nodded so hard they looked as though they had springs for necks.
âI need a cup of tea.' I flopped down onto the sofa.
âI'll get it.' Charlie jumped up and headed for the stove. âDoes this mean I can drive the boat on my own?' She stood with her back to us obviously hoping for one answer and expecting another.
âYes.' I leant back and closed my eyes. âI'm going to need to take breaks and we've got to get to Denver within a week.
There was silence from the direction of the cooker, worried that I'd given the wrong answer I cracked open an eyelid and watched Charlie pump her fist twice and give a silent âYES!!'
I slept surprisingly well that night. Obviously all it took to get life back on track was a bit of direction.
Chapter Eleven
Girl Power
A
NOTHER THIRTY-SIX HOUR
boredom break and we were finally given the go-ahead to move, we were so relieved to be actually going that even going on our own didn't seem that daunting any more, or at least it didn't while we were still moored up.
As Geoff left for his fourth miserable day at work we arranged to meet at Thrapston that evening, there was parking and I could walk into town from the mooring, give the kids some exercise and for a first day's trip it should be uneventful and fairly short.
By midday we still hadn't left. I had waved off Audrey and Bertie, they had left as soon as the environment agency man had given the go-ahead. Brian had gone, as had the couple in the cruiser, so now there was just us, a single boat still attached to the wharf and I kept finding jobs to do, each one designed to delay us just that little more.
âOh for goodness' sake.' Charlie stuck her head out of the window and watched me puttering up and down the gunwales sorting out ropes and putting the chimney on. âAre we actually going or not?'
âErm, yes,' I said as I rearranged the same rope for the fifth time. âI won't be long.'
âChicken,' she said, grinning at me, âcome on, admit it, you're scared.'
âNo I'm not, I'm fine.' I pushed at the rope again. âI just want to make sure everything's right.'
Charlie ducked her head back into the boat again making squawking chicken noises.
I sighed and looked down at the water, it was still running fairly fast. Looking ahead I could see the first lock of the day just past the football field. I knew I was petrified of doing this on my own. I had visions of getting the boat hung up on the sill, or having the fast-running water cascade over the back deck, every time I thought about it I broke out in a cold sweat.
For the first time it occurred to me just how important the team work that Geoff and I had built up had become to me, I had taken a big boat through hundreds of locks over the past three years and I'd never had any problems, or nothing that I couldn't handle. But now without him there, the whole thing seemed insurmountable. What I really wanted to do was just bury my head in a book and stay in one place.
âMUM!' Charlie screeched at me, âWhat are you doing?'
I shook myself out of my worried reverie and took a deep breath. There were no choices, we had to move, we had a deadline to meet and we really couldn't miss it. I was out of opportunities to be pathetic.
âWhat do you want to do?' I stared at Charlie âDo you want to take her through the lock or do you want to operate the gates?'
Charlie stared back at me. âWhat?'
âI can't do both, sweetie, remember what I told you last night, not with a boat this big, I need you to do one or the other.' I held her gaze and watched as the reality settled on to her, her look became worried and the colour drained from her face. She stepped out on to the mooring and stared down river to the lock.
âI think I'll operate the lock,' she said quietly, then chewing on her lip she muttered, âI wish Geoff was here.'
I gave her a hug. âSo do I, oh God, so do I.' We stood there for a moment both breathing deeply, it's true then misery does love company. âSo,' I gave her a nudge with my hip. âShall we go?'
She nodded slowly. âWe have to, don't we?'
âYes,' I said firmly, âwe do.'
âOK then.' She gave me a shaky grin. âYou start her up and I'll push her off.'
I nodded then turned and started walking toward the stern. âHey, Mum!' I turned again at her call.
âYes?'
She grinned again, stronger this time. âGirl power, eh?'
âAbsolutely.' I gave her the thumbs up and, trying not to shake, headed for the tiller.
Minerva
came to life with her normal belch of black smoke. Charlie untied her mooring lines and pushed her away from the bank, this was it, we were off and without my normal lifeline of a reassuringly calm and organised husband I felt as though the whole operation was far more dangerous than it actually was.
The lock gates were open and I headed in, as we pulled up it all seemed so familiar,. Charlie jumped off and closed the gates then, with a final thumbs-up, she began to open the gates on the other side. It was all textbook really and as we pulled away from the lock with Charlie sitting happily on the roof I wondered what all the fuss was about, hadn't we done it all before? I scoffed at my ridiculous fears then smiled as the first rays of sun for what seemed like weeks broke through the clouds, the water ahead of me glinted and twinkled. This was going to be easy.
Sure enough, a couple of hours later after a gentle float past Stanwick lakes we pulled up, still in full sunshine at our designated stopping space just outside Thrapston. The mooring was huge, it wasn't underwater and the kids and the dog were happy to get out and rush around (in a sort of relieved frenzy) on the grass with a ball. I sat on top of the boat with a book and a huge mug of coffee enjoying the warm sunshine and feeling very, very pleased with myself.
Panting hard from all her exertions, Charlie headed inside for a drink. When she re-emerged she jumped up on to the roof with a very serious look. âMum, we have a problem.'
I grinned at her over the top of my book. âWhat's up, Houston, run out of lemonade?'
Charlie shook her head rapidly and winced. âLu's dead.'
âWhat!' I put my book down on the room and lowered my voice as Charlie made shushing sounds casting furtive glances at Sam who was still playing with Mortimer.
âHow?' I whispered, âWhat happened?'
âI don't know.' Charlie's forced whisper carried over to Sam and he looked up, curious as to why there was a sudden furious and quiet conversation.
âWhat are you talking about, Mum?' he shouted.
âChristmas,' I shouted back.
âOoo, great, I've got a list.' He happily started to list all the things he needed to Mortimer who completely unperturbed carried on trying to bury his ball in the grass.
âShe was fine yesterday,' I hissed at Charlie while keeping a wary eye on Sam.
âWell, she has been looking a little moth-eaten lately, and she certainly sleeps a lot more.' Charlie shrugged. âShe might have just died from old age, she was fully grown when we got her and we have no idea how long she'd been in that pet shop.' She shrugged again and winced as she watched Sam kicking Mortimer's ball, missed completely and fell over laughing as the puppy jumped on his stomach. âLet's face it with that attitude she could have been ancient, no one but us would have taken her.'
âWhat are we going to tell Sam?'
Charlie shrugged her shoulders again.
âWhat are we going to do with the body?'
She shrugged again and shook her head.
âOh God, he's going to be really upset.' I thought for a minute. âTell you what, let's replace her; all hamsters look alike.'
âDon't be daft.' Charlie shook her head. âYou'd have to take a normal nice hamster and inject it with angry juice for it to behave like Lu, and what about all those weird sounds she used to make?'
âI don't want him upset, we'll just tell him that she's mellowing in her old age.' I watched Sam as he tried to swing a stick at some stinging nettles only to find that Mort had grabbed the other end they both fell over the stick, Sam lay face down, Mortimer lay belly up. âWe'll just keep him away from the cage tonight, you get rid of the body and I'll call Geoff and tell him to pick up another hamster in Cambridge.' I felt as though I was organising the results of a murder.
Charlie crinkled her nose at me. âWhy do I have to get rid of the corpse?' She drew out the word âcorpse', evidently one of her favourites.
âBecause I'm going to distract him with a game and you can give her a burial by water.'
Charlie stared into the river for a moment. âOK, but only if I can use the washing-up gloves, I'm not touching her.' She shuddered. âI really hate touching dead things.' She shuddered again. âDead rodents are always stiff, cold and lighter than they should be.'
Ten minutes later Sam and I were playing a game of Connect 4, Charlie making a huge display of being surreptitious, put the pink marigolds on and wandered, whistling loudly, down the boat toward the ex-Lu's cage.
She smiled serenely at us as she came past, her hands held behind her back, then humming she transferred her hands to the front of her body and stepped out of the boat.
Sam had just won another game, when he looked out of the window. âHey, Mum, what's that?' we both stared out at the river, then leaving his seat he wandered down to the cage while I sat with my head in my hands waiting for that awful question: âWhy is my hamster in the river?'
As she explained later, Charlie had indeed cast Lu with a final farewell into the river, and had stood thinking good thoughts about Lu's short life while she waited for her to sink into the murky depths. Obviously continuing her life-long goal of doing things she shouldn't, Lu hadn't sunk at all, the current carried her out into mid stream where she had turned over onto her back so that her little pink nose and tiny paws were pointing straight at the sky. Down the length of the boat she slowly floated. To make matters worse the low sun transformed her fur to shining gold and as she meandered gently past, glowing brightly and bobbing like a fat tourist in the sea, the ripples turned her body this way and that causing her little paws to waggle, I was convinced she was waving goodbye as she drifted toward the sunset.
Sam and I watched her exit stage left in utter silence, when she was finally out of sight he looked at me, his expression one of slight confusion. Well, there was no way out of this one, I had to tell the truth.
âI'm really, really sorry Sam, Lu died and we thought we'd replace her with another one before you noticed.' I waited with certain trepidation for the hysterics to start.
Sam studied me for a moment then looked down at the Connect 4 board. âI worked out that she's dead, Mum,' he said checking which move to make, âI didn't think she'd taken up swimming.' He sniffed and clamped his lips shut, obviously upset.
âRight.' I waited for a moment to let him get himself sorted out. âSo do you want another hamster?'
âNo thanks,' Sam answered and placed a counter carefully into the grid, âcan I have another pet?'
I picked up a blue counter to avoid looking at him. âErm, it really depends on what you want, I mean, we have the dog now and he belongs to everybody.'
Sam nodded. âBut I've thought of a pet that would be useful.'
This wasn't sounding good, but I had to give the boy the benefit of the doubt. âOh yes?' I raised my eyebrows to look at him. âWhat would you like?'
âChickens.' Sam gave me a huge grin. âWe could get eggs.' With a certain flair he slid a counter into the grid. âConnect 4, I win.'
I just groaned.
Geoff found us that night with no problem at all. He really didn't want to hear about dead hamsters or our successful trip, he just wanted to sleep, or at least lie on his back with his eyes closed.
âHave you actually had a busy day?' I handed him a cup of tea.
âNo, I bloody well haven't.' He opened one eye and glared at me with it, then took the tea with a sigh. âI haven't done anything all day, we just sit there, some of the lads play cards, some of them read the paper. They all sigh with relief when it's lunch time, they get out their lunches, and sit in the same positions, eat their lunch, then the afternoon is much of the same.'
He put his tea down on the floor. âI'm so bored I think I'm going to cry.'
I decided that being sympathetic wasn't what was required at this time. âWell, if you're so pigged off, why aren't you on the ânet' looking for another job?'
Another sigh. âYou're right.' Picking up his mug he headed for the laptop.
By the time he had applied for four or five jobs he was in a much better mood and he wandered off with Sam at bed time. I could hear them discussing the swimming abilities of dead hamsters (pretty good according to Sam).
Geoff went off to work with good heart the next day, it was Friday and we had arranged to meet him at Fotheringay, so we didn't have very far to go. With this short run in mind we decided that a short walk into Thrapston would do us all good.
As we walked along, with Sam circling and tripping over, chattering, falling down holes and generally doing his best to get in Charlie's way: if she went to the left he was already ahead of her, she would turn to the right and he would immediately see something that needed studying over that side of the path as well, he didn't do it on purpose, he's never been able to walk in a straight line since he was born. Charlie, desperately trying to keep a bouncing puppy under control finally snapped and tied Mortimer to the back of Sam's trousers, they bounced off together, getting in each other's way and often ending up in a pile on the floor, leaving Charlie and I to wander sedately (and in a straight line) toward the small town.
There isn't a huge amount to see in Thrapston but as we only needed essentials and a mirror we felt that really we were probably going to be OK.
Sam had broken the mirror the previous week and Charlie had taken great delight in telling him that he now would have to endure seven years bad luck. So every time that she pushed him or tripped him she would look innocent and would blame it on his âbad luck'. Sam was almost incapacitated with fear and I'd had to put a stop to her torturing him.
Standing in the queue at the Co-op it all started again. Sam tripped over his own feet and only just managed to stop himself from falling by grabbing Charlie's arm. She had waited until he had a good hold then had stepped back and twisted her arm away allowing him to fall to the floor.