Authors: Marie Browne
She nodded. âWell, at least he's had all his injections already, it would have been a real pain if you'd had to keep him in the boat for four weeks until he was safe to go out.'
âYes, but why is he so old?' I stopped and turned to look at her. âCome on, what's wrong with him, we've never managed to get a fully intact animal yet, they're always either broken or insane.'
Amelia had the grace to look a little sheepish. âThat's the reason I got him cheap, he's the runt of the litter and he's only got one ⦠erm â¦' she paused and then took a deep breath and muttered, âtesticle.'
âOh great, so half a dog then,' I laughed.
âOh, Mum, I had to take him, I've been watching the pups since they were born and with all the others gone, he was all on his own and they were talking about giving him away, he could have gone to anyone. I knew you'd look after him and the kids would love him.' She gave me another big smile from under the dog bed.
I nodded and gave up, I never could resist a charity case, it looked as though Mortimer was here to stay. As we hurried toward the boat I could hear Sam and Charlie laughing as the dog entertained them. Amelia looked at me and grinned. âSee, couldn't have brought anything better to cheer them up, could I?'
Leaving Chaos, Disorder and Fuzzy fish to amuse themselves, Amelia and I sat over drinks. âWhat is he exactly?' I laughed as Mortimer came hurtling past with one of Sam's socks in his mouth, the kids chased him giggling and shouting which just spurred him on to ever more ridiculous antics, they were all having a fine old time.
Amelia stuck her nose into her tea and muttered âStffforthpshire pthll terrior.'
âWhat?' I tapped my finger on the table. âIs that thing a staffy?
Amelia winced and nodded.
âWhat were you thinking?' I stood up and grabbed Mort as he shot past and put him on my lap. âCalm down,' I called, putting a hand up to Charlie and Sam, âgive him a break or he'll be sick again.' Mortimer yawned hugely and burped, I held my breath wondering if I was about to have to change into yet another set of clean clothes.
Sitting on my lap with his tail moving at a blur the wide gold eyes stared into mine then slowly began to close, his big head sagged onto my arm and with another yawn he was unconscious. I frowned then sighed, he really was very cute.
Gently holding Mort in one arm I waved the other at Amelia. âYou know what I think of these dogs, they're vicious and stupid and shouldn't be around children, you're going to have to take him back.' I paused and looked down at Mort who had opened his mouth slightly, I could see his little pink tongue in the darkness behind the white, needle sharp teeth. He snorted in his sleep and turned his head so it was resting on my chest then heaved a huge happy puppy sigh.
Amelia just looked at me. âThey're not vicious, they just get bad press, honestly, Mum, this is one of the best dogs with kids, they call them ânanny dogs'.'
I smiled as Mort started a series of little snores, his big paws twitching and flapping slightly, he really, really was terribly cute. âI'll give him a month's trial.' I pointed a finger at her. âAnd that's only if he lasts ten minutes after Geoff gets home.'
âOh yeah.' Amelia looked around the boat. âHe's gone off to his interview hasn't he â¦' she paused for a moment, âwhat time's he due back? I wouldn't want to miss him.'
âAbout sixish.' I smiled as Mortimer made little grunting noises and tried to bury further into my arms.
At five to six, Amelia made her excuses and scarpered, she cut it really fine as it only seemed seconds after she left that Geoff walked through the door. Mortimer, refreshed and refuelled by his long sleep and a big bowl of food, bounced over to welcome this newcomer.
Geoff stared down at the cavorting pup and nudged him gently with his boot. âWhat ⦠is ⦠that?' he enunciated slowly. The boat went silent.
Sam, once again decided to break the tension with a nervous laugh. âIt's a dog, Dad, what did you think it was?'
Geoff gently disengaged Mort from his sock. âAnd where did it come from?'
âIt was a surprise present from Amelia,' Sam said, then wandered over and picked Mort up, âit's our Christmas present.'
Geoff nodded and looked over to me. âWas it a surprise to you as well?'
I nodded and shrugged.
âAnd where is Amelia?' Geoff raised his eyebrows, I noticed he was still talking very slowly, this really wasn't a good sign.
Charlie piped up, âRan away when you phoned mum and told her you'd be home in five minutes.' she tickled Mortimer under the chin and laughed when he fell over trying to grab her hand in his mouth. âYou probably passed her on the way in.'
Geoff stared at the pup with extreme distaste. âWe can't keep him,' he said, ignoring the howls of protest from the kids. âThis is ridiculous, having a puppy in amongst all this lot.' He waved a hand around at the devastation. Mortimer, his eye caught by the waving hand, leapt up and sank his teeth into one of Geoff's fingers, Geoff yelped, I winced that sort of behaviour really wasn't doing his case much good.
That evening, with Chaos, Disorder and Mort finally fast asleep having worn themselves out chasing each other about all afternoon. Geoff turned to me with that âserious' look on his face, he sighed and picking Mort from my lap where I was happily cuddling him, he put him gently in his bed.
âHe has to go back, this is ridiculous.' He pointed down at the untidy piles of sleeping children. âLook at us, we're crammed in here like sardines in a tin and you really think that adding a boisterous dog to this mix is a good idea?'
I decided to nip this in the bud now. âI said to Amelia he could have a month's grace.' I held up a hand as Geoff frowned. âLook at it this way, if he chews anything in here at the moment it's really not going to make the slightest bit of difference, we promised them a puppy months ago, better he learns to deal with his new family now while we are all up in the air than later when the boats all beautiful and he decides to cut his teeth on the new woodwork.'
Geoff sighed and said, âWell, I suppose â¦'
âAnd another thing, the kids have been really happy today, it will give them something to concentrate on, I know I'll end up looking after him but that's OK, I like dogs and I like something that will drag me out for a walk.'
Geoff waved his punctured hand at me. âYes, but aren't they dangerous, isn't there a lot of talk about putting them on the dangerous dogs register?'
He had a point, I stared over at the snoring, twitching fuzz ball and shook my head. âI don't know, I checked them out on the net earlier and evidently not, they're good with kids, and love to play and will take a fair amount of abuse from little ones. Let's just see how he goes, shall we? I promise I won't keep a dangerous dog, any signs that he's vicious and he's gone in a flash, all right?'
Geoff nodded reluctantly then snorted as Mort rolled over on to his back exposing his tummy to the warmth from the fire, his little jowls vibrated as he snored and his paws twitched continuously. Geoff shook his head. âHe's not very elegant.'
I laughed and got up to take the tea cups out. âHe matches the rest of the family then, doesn't he?'
The next morning dawned bright and sunny. It actually looked as though the rain had finally stopped. Giving in to a huge yawn I struggled to sit up in bed then froze as a strange noise halted me in my tracks.
Rolling over I came face to face with Mortimer who was happily slapping his tail against the bed, giving my nose a quick lick he shuffled backwards, back under the covers and giving a huge happy sigh closed his eyes again. Geoff opened his.
âWhat is the puppy doing in the bed?' I lifted the covers and stared into the warm darkness, a pair of shining eyes opened minutely and I swear he gave me a sleepy smile.
âAh.' Geoff sat up and rubbed a hand over his mad morning hair.
âWell?' I frowned down at the floor. âThere's no way he'd be able to jump up here yet.'
âUm â¦' Geoff gave me a contrite look. âHe woke me up at three o'clock this morning, with his crying and when I went to pick him up to put him back in his bed, he was shaking and his ears were cold, so I put him between us and he settled down immediately.'
I laughed. âYeah I bet he did.' I poked Mort in the tummy and the tail wagged gently, making a swishing noise as it performed a perfect pendulum across the sheet, then I poked Geoff. âYou are a complete fraud, you do know that, don't you?'
Geoff assumed a lofty expression. âI'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.' He began dressing. Mortimer, sensing movement and obviously needing to go out staggered to his feet, Geoff grabbed him and made for the door while I rushed around trying to find his lead.
When all the necessary bodily functions had been taken care of and the kids had shot off with the dog to see if he would play ball, Geoff and I sat over a quiet cup of tea.
âSo how do you feel about Mortimer this morning?' I pushed.
Geoff shrugged and said, âHe'll probably be OK, he seems fairly open-minded about how and where he lives.' Then startling me, he leapt to his feet. âOh, I forgot to tell you, while you were outside I had a phone call, I've got that job!'
Oh, that was a huge relief, it meant that we could travel down to Cambridge and he'd have a job waiting for him when he got there. I grinned at him, I could feel the grin failing as he looked troubled.
âWhat's the matter, didn't you want it?'
âOh yeah, that's not the problem.' Geoff ran a hand through his hair again and sighed. âThey want me to start on Monday.'
âWhat! No!' I gaped at him. âWe've got at least another week of travelling yet, and we can't even start out until they tell us that the river's safe to travel, it might stay up for another two or three days.'
As I normally did in a moment of crisis, I leapt up and put the kettle on. âWe can't only travel at weekends because they're closing Denver sluice for repairs, so if we don't get there before they close it we won't be able to get through for weeks.'
Geoff leaned forward and grabbed my arm. âWhat! When did you find out about this?'
âYesterday,' I replied, shaking my head and wiping a hand down my face, âI was talking to the EA guy that came to look at the moorings and he told me, so I checked on the net and he's right we have less than two weeks to get to Denver or we'll be stuck for two months.'
Geoff slumped back onto the sofa with a look of absolute agony. âThat's it, I can't take the job, there's no way we can get there in time if I do.' He put his head in his hands.
We stood in silence for a couple of moments, the only sound was the kettle whistle winding itself up to a full hysterical scream. I turned the gas off then, glancing out of the window, waved to Audrey as she came past with Bertie. Watching them meander toward
Fairy Girl
, a germ of an idea planted itself in my mind; it really was the only solution.
Handing Geoff a cup of tea I tapped him on the head. âI'll take her.' I gulped as I said it, not something I wanted to do, I have to admit, but it really was the only way.
Geoff looked up at me. âWhat, on your own?' He shook his head. âMarie, she's huge, and with the river running this fast â¦' he tailed off and stared into his tea, looking worried.
I flapped a hand at him. âAh, don't worry it'll be fine, Charlie's a lot of use these days, at least there's two of us that can drive and she knows how the locks work, we'll be OK.' I kicked him gently then gave him an airy grin as he looked up at me. âWe'll be fine.' I pointed out of the window. âAudrey travels by herself all the time, if she can do it, so can I.'
âAudrey runs a 45 foot boat,. It's tiny compared to this thing.' Geoff frowned.
âGeoff,' I replied, handing him a biscuit, âtell me what choice we have? The first payment on the boat is due in less than four weeks.'
He groaned again and dunked the biscuit into his tea. âNone.'
Finishing his tea, he stood up and put his coat on. âIf you lot are going to be travelling on your own I'd better make sure that engine isn't going to let you down.' He wandered toward the door then turned and looked at me. âI'm not really happy about this, you know.'
I forced a laugh. âAh, go on, it'll be fine.' I grinned at him as he shook his head again and climbed out of the boat. When I was sure he was out of the way I sank down onto the sofa with my coffee. He wasn't happy about it? Well I wasn't happy about it either, I wasn't happy about it at all.
We spent Sunday trying to keep dry. The sky, dark from horizon to horizon, just continued to pour its contents upon the earth. The windows leaked, the kids were bored cooped up in a long narrow tube, Mortimer got into everything and Geoff wandered around trying to make sure that everything was âship shape' before he headed off to a new job.
On his third pass through the boat, carrying tools and more bits of unidentifiable equipment I finally grabbed him and made him sit down.
âLook, working yourself up about this isn't going to help.' I handed him a cup of tea and launched a packet of ginger nuts towards him. He narrowly missed catching them and only managed to smack the packet with the side of his hand. The packet split and Mortimer who had happily been investigating the contents of Geoff's tool bag suddenly found he was standing amidst a rain of falling biscuits. This was a good game. He ate two before we could grab him and managed to snag another and took off to his favourite hiding place beneath the new fire.
The first time he had done this I'd been horribly worried, but he loved the warmth and it had the secondary effect of keeping all the dust bunnies at bay beneath the fire. Every time he emerged he was covered in dust and ash and to keep the place clean we just had to throw him outside and let the wind waft it all away. It worked rather well.