Naamah's Kiss (47 page)

Prince Thierry approached, two glasses of wine in hand, looking good-natured and puzzled. "Where did you go? I couldn't find you. And what in the seven hells was that all about?"

"Ohhh" I took the glass he handed me and drank half of it at a single draught. The wine sang in my veins, making me feel dizzy and lightheaded. I breathed the Breath of Earth's Pulse, centering myself. "Nothing important."

He clinked the rim of his glass to mine. "I'm glad."

I bedded him that night.

I didn't mean to. It was selfish on my part. I knew Thierry had strong feelings for mestronger than mine for him. It was like Gillian all over again. And yet I missed Cillian as much as I mourned him. He had been my friend before he was my lover. And I yearned to want and be wanted in that simple way it had been between us at the beginning.

Thierry gave me that.

He didn't ask until Raphael bade me farewell for the night. He didn't say he'd be spending it with Jehanne in her quarters, but it was clear.

"Take the carriage, Moirin." Raphael touched my cheek before drifting past me. "I'll see you at home anon."

Anon and anon and anon.

Too many anons.

Why should I be jealous? I was there with the Dauphin of my own accord.

"Stay." Thierry's hands were on my shoulders. He kissed me. He tasted of wine and innocence. It didn't set my blood afire, but it was nice. "I'll send someone to dismiss de Mereliot's driver. Stay."

"All right."

Thierry was a skilled lover. I should have expected it; he was the heir to Terre d'Ange. And he brought to our bed all the unstinting ardor I could have wished of Raphael, for I was its focus. Not my gifts, just me. I performed the languisement Jehanne had taught me on him, relishing his groans of pleasure and the hot, irresistible rush of his seed spilling into my mouth. He returned the favor until I begged him to stop.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as he entered me. "So are you," I whispered back.

And I wept silent tears, because it was true. He was young and kind and beautiful, and it wasn't enough. But for one night, I pretended it was.

Claire Fourcay finished speaking the first conjuration. I pushed and opened the doorway.

Thanks, mayhap, to Master Lo Feng's teaching, I was more aware of myself and the flow of my own energy than I had been. When the crimson light erupted, I understood in my flesh and blood that there was a toll to be paid for keeping the door open. I could feel it ebbing steadily from me.

The extent of its cost would be determined when it closed.

Caim manifested as an ordinary man, olive-skinned and hawk-nosed, a wooden staff held loosely in one hand.

A sigh of relief ran around the Circle.

Orien de Legasse put the first question to him in their unintelligible tongue. Claire Fourcay had chalk poised over her tablet lest he write it in fiery letters.

Instead, the spirit bowed politely and spoke at length.

"Oh, hell !" someone swore. "Tell me he didn't just say what I think he said."

"He did," Orien said grimly.

I shifted into the twilight. I'd learn more there.

The spirit greeted me. Moirin .

"Aye," I agreed. "You're Caim?"

I am . In the world half a step away from the mortal one, Caim was still mostly human. But antlers like a young buck's rose from his brow, a tangled bird's nest wedged in one fork. His eyes were round and golden like a hunting owl's. They regarded me curiously. The bear's child does not require this gift. Why have you summoned me ?

I gestured at the shadowy Circle. "For them. What trick did you play them?"

His round, golden eyes flared. No trick .

"They're angry."

Yes . Cairn looked complacent. I am teaching them the language of ants. It is composed of scent and touch. When I am finished, I will teach them the language of crickets. You will have collapsed by then and the doorway will have closed, but if it were not, I would proceed to the language of honeybees, which is composed largely of dance. It is quite fascinating .

I didn't know whether to laugh or weep. "Why? Marbas gave me his gift with a single roar. Surely you could do the same. Would it be such a bad thing for humans to have greater understanding?"

He shook his head. The bird's nest lodged in his antlers wobbled. You sense the thoughts and feelings of your animal brethren. Your people never lost that bond. This is different. If you were to truly comprehend in its entirety the language of every creature on earth that creeps, crawls, flies, and swims, the cacophony would drive you mad. No mortal could endure it .

I sighed. "Why offer the gift at all?"

Cairn's round eyes glowed. It is the game .

Jehanne's words in the Hall of Games came back to me. This was a game I was bound to lose. I bowed to Caim. "Thank you for your honesty."

He returned the bow. A trio of baby thrushes poked their heads out of the bird's nest. And you for your courtesy .

I let go the twilight.

A wave of weakness spilled over me. In the center of the six-pointed star, Caim-the-man was still speaking. The members of the Circle all had peculiar looks on their faces. Wavering on my feet, I waited until Caim paused, then tugged Raphael's arm. Raphael looked at me, his nostrils twitching.

"Tell the Circle to dismiss him," I said. "I won't make it past crickets."

He nodded and did so.

Claire Fourcay spoke the words in a sour tone. Caim-the-man vanished and the doorway closed. I sank to my knees with a sense of blessed relief.

For better or worse, it was over.

It took me a few days to recover. I wasn't quite as drained as I had been after Marbas' summoningI'd conversed with him the longest but I had the nagging feeling that each time, there was less of me left to recuperate. Raphael didn't dance attendance on me the way he had last time. After assuring himself that I would recover, he returned to the City for two days, coming back to fetch me on the third.

None of the Circle called on me in his absence.

"They're angry, aren't they?" I said when Raphael returned.

He took a deep breath. "They are. Not at you. Elua! It's not your fault. But yes, they're angry. They've been tricked and tricked, again and again. After years of study and effort, all we have to show for it" He wrinkled his nose and rubbed it, an odd look in his eyes. "Thank the gods it's almost winter."

I was confused. "Why?"

Raphael shuddered. "All those scent-trails. Forage, forage, forage. Back to the colony, dig, dig, dig."

I touched his hand. "I'm sorry."

He looked at me sidelong. "Caim spared you, didn't he?" Aye.

"I wonder why," he mused.

I shrugged. "They, um, seem to like me."

Raphael uttered a sharp laugh. "They're not human, Moirin. They don't have likes and dislikes as we understand them."

"Why not?" I plucked at the bedsheets. "They're what Elua's Companions once were, aren't they? You'd never say they were incapable of loving. Why shouldn't their brethren be capable of at least liking?"

He frowned and gazed into the distance. "Mayhap they were alike long, long ago. But those of the One God's servants who chose to follow Blessed Elua did so out of love, and in the process, they became far, far greater than they had been. Those who rebelled and failed did so out of envy and anger, and they are less than they were." He rubbed his nose absently. "At least we know they can be compelled."

"Ah, no!" I said in alarm.

"I'm not breaking my promise." Raphael laid his hand over mine. "It's in my thoughts that mayhap this wondrous gift of healing we're able to share was all that destiny ever intended. But the Circle has worked so very hard." His grey eyes were dark and grave. "They're returning to their studies for a time. If they can find a way to outwit one of the spirits, may I tell them you'll at least listen to what they propose?"

"I'll listen," I said. "But they'll be wasting their breath."

"Listening is enough," he assured me.

We returned to the City of Elua, where I discovered that the best gift I could have hoped for awaited me: My father was back. I laughed aloud with delight when I learned that he'd called on the townhouse in our absence, and went straightaway to the Temple of Naamah to see him. I found him kneeling in contemplation before the effigy modeled on my great-great-grandmother, the first royal companion. His face was glad and serene, his scarlet robes were pooled around him, his brown hair a shining fall down his back. I stood in the doorway a moment, just watching him. He had something of Master Lo Feng's gift for stillness. Then he caught sight of me out of the corner of his eye.

"Moirin." He smiled and rose, opening his arms. "Come here."

I hugged him hard. "I'm so glad you're back."

"As am I." My father returned my embrace, then studied me with a faint frown. "Have you been ill?"

I shook my head. "No. Why?"

"You look" He hesitated, touching my cheek with gentle fingers. "Beautiful, of course. But there are shadows beneath your eyes. Has there been trouble?"

"No, no. I wa" I blew out my breath. "I've overexerted myself, that's all. A lack of sleep. It's fine. I'm fine."

"If you say so." He still looked concerned. "What have you been up to?"

I answered with a half-truth. "I've been studying with Master Lo Feng. Do you remember? You told me to seek him out."

"Ah." My father's worried expression eased. "The Ch'in physician, yes. And has he helped you find your destiny?"

"No," I admitted. "But he's teaching me to breathe."

"To breathe," he echoed blankly. "This I must hear."

I glanced up at the oculus of the dome and gauged the position of the sun. In my excitement, I'd forgotten all about my lesson. "I can do better," I said. "Would you like to meet him?"

"Very much so."

It was a wonderful meeting.

A light dusting of early snow had fallen, frosting the barren branches and the evergreen shrubs in the courtyard. The embers in the little brazier glowed cheerfully, sending up curling tendrils of fragrant smoke. We were only a little bit late. Master Lo Feng was there awaiting me, his hands folded in his sleeves. Beside him, Bao leaned idly on his staff.